I don't think this is going to be a very cheerful story … just a warning.
The title is a quote from Paul Tournier – I know nothing about him but the quote seems to fit Tony.
The day that it all began to unravel began as so many other days had. Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo was regaling his hapless colleague Timothy McGee with a lurid account of the previous night's tryst with Samantha.
"Never seen legs so long, Probie," he said reminiscently, "fingers so flexible, butt so … ouch!" he exclaimed as Agent Gibbs' hand made its familiar contact with DiNozzo's head.
"Cut it out!" Gibbs ordered, "I do not want to have to sit through another sexual harassment lecture because you can't keep your mind on the job!"
"Well, actually," said a rash DiNozzo, "it could be argued that the mating drive of a healthy adult male is his raison d'être. So it is my job … shutting up, Boss. And good morning, Director." Tony cursed inwardly as he realised that Gibbs and the Director had both arrived at an inopportune moment. He tried to smile nonchalantly while Tim hid a smirk.
Tony went back to his own desk and drew some papers towards him in an effort to look efficient and busy.
"Listen up," said Gibbs, "we got a new case."
Tim, Tony and Ellie looked up with interest. They had been working cold cases for a week or so and the novelty had worn off long ago.
"This is Becca Whitely," Gibbs gestured to a youngish woman who was standing between him and Vance. Bishop and Tim nodded politely. "Ms Whitely works as an accounts manager for Criterion Pensions and Investments out of Annandale. She contacted the FBI yesterday over concerns she has about the way in which investments and pensions have been sold to navy personnel."
"Um, isn't that a job for U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission?" suggested Tim.
"Normally it would be," agreed Vance, "but …"
"But the car Ms Whitely was about to drive was in a crash shortly after she made the call. Brake lines had been cut," said Gibbs, "and it was mostly navy veterans who seem to be the victims so we're taking the lead."
"Ms Whitely will be under our protection while we investigate her concerns and find out who was responsible for the damage to the car," added the Director. "We're grateful to you for alerting us to what seems to be going on at your company, Ms Whitely. Rest assured that we will keep you safe. Agent Gibbs, I'll leave this in your hands. Keep me informed," and he turned to go.
"Uh," came Tony's strangled voice. The Director and the MCRT turned to look at him. Gibbs and McGee daw that he looked paler than he had when recovering from the plague.
"What?" asked Gibbs brusquely.
"Um. I think you need to bench me for this case."
"What? Why?" demanded Gibbs.
"I-I-I know Rebec … er … Ms Whitely," stammered Tony.
A subdued chuckle swept through the squad room.
"Hardly surprising, DiNozzo," said Gibbs, "just be professional."
The unspoken thought for a change was on some lips.
"But, Boss. I …" began Tony.
"McGee, Bishop," ordered Gibbs, "take Ms Whitely to a conference room. Get her settled. I, we, will join you later."
Ms Whitely looked in Tony's direction but he pointedly avoided her eyes. She sighed softly and allowed herself to be taken away. Bishop and McGee walked as slowly as possible in the hope of overhearing some of the conversation. In this they were disappointed as Gibbs made sure they were gone before going to stand threateningly in front of Tony.
"You want to explain what's going on here, DiNozzo?"
"Hey, when my Dad was in town and accused of murder you made me stand down. I thought you'd want me to," protested Tony.
"You want to try that again?" asked Gibbs, "'cos I don't remember you looking as if you were about to faint when your Dad showed up."
"I wasn't going to faint," said Tony, "DiNozzos don't pass out."
"There's something going on," said Gibbs implacably, "so, enlighten me."
"I … I … knew Rebecca."
"And?"
"We were in a relationship."
Gibbs was surprised. He had never heard Tony apply those words to himself. "Bad break up?" he asked.
"Could say that," said Tony briefly.
"How long ago?" asked Gibbs gently.
"It was just after I finished at the Peoria Academy," said Tony reluctantly.
"Jeez, DiNozzo! That's 20 years ago." Tony didn't reply. Gibbs tried to think what to say, "Look, Tony, I've had two of my ex-wives turn up in cases and I managed."
Tony gazed at the Boss and wondered if Gibbs thought that was true. Perhaps Gibbs had managed but it had created an odd atmosphere in the rest of his team.
"I really think you should bench me for this one, Boss," Tony said.
"Not going to happen," said Gibbs decisively, "we need our full team on this one. I don't want to bring anyone else in."
"But …"
"No buts, DiNozzo. That's my decision."
"OK," said Tony reluctantly, "but please, don't put me in the safe house with her."
"Can't promise that, DiNozzo, but you won't be on your own with her. We won't let her jump you."
"Thanks, Boss," said Tony clearly still unhappy.
"What you do to piss her off so much anyway?" asked Gibbs.
"Nothing," said Tony, "I didn't do anything."
"Come on then," said Gibbs, "we got work to do."
NCISNCIS
In the conference room, McGee and Bishop were trying to gather information.
"So, Ms Whitely," began Tim.
"Oh, please. Call me Becca."
"OK. Becca. I'm Tim McGee and this is Ellie Bishop."
"Nice to meet you," said Becca quietly, "although this is all a bit overwhelming, you know."
"We understand," said Ellie, "but the Director was right when he said that we would keep you safe."
"Thank you, I'm sure you are good at your jobs. It's just that … yesterday everything seemed normal and then … and then, all of a sudden, it wasn't. Then I was with the FBI, then here and then there was Ads um, Agent DiNozzo …"
"Ah, yes, Tony," said McGee trying to sound nonchalant, "so you know Tony?"
"Yes," she sighed.
"Um, how do you know him?" asked Ellie.
"Oh, you know," said Becca.
"Yes," said Tim, "Tony does know a lot of women." Becca's eyes filled with tears and Tim hurried on, "well. So he says anyway. But not many turn up as victims of crime." He replayed that in his head and thought it might have given the wrong impression. "I mean … well, I didn't mean to imply that his ex-girlfriends end up as victims of crime … you know, a crime that he's committed. I just meant to say that this isn't how we meet his exes. You know …"
Becca laid a gentle hand on Tim's arm, "I understand. You must be a good friend to Ads," she smiled tremulously, "I'm glad he has someone."
"So," said Ellie, "did you … date?"
"You could say that," said Becca.
"When?" asked Tim.
"We were at Ohio State together," said Becca.
"Are you a Phys Ed major too?" asked Ellie.
"Oh no. I did accountancy and computer studies. Wasn't even a cheerleader. I went to watch a game with my boyfriend and well, saw Ads."
"What happened?" asked Tim but Gibbs swept into the room before Becca could answer. Tony stood reluctantly by the door.
"Ms Whitely," said Gibbs, "we'll make arrangements for a safe house tonight. Agents Bishop and McGee will go to your apartment with you so you can pack what you need for a few days. Before that, we'll go over your statement and I'll take you down to our forensic scientist so that she can start going over your computer, phone, other records to try and see what we're dealing with."
"What do you want us to do, Boss?" asked Tim.
"Bishop is with me. You and DiNozzo start looking at Ms Whitely's car. Work out what happened."
"Yes, Boss," said Tim. Tony just nodded. He hadn't said anything since entering the room and had once again avoided looking at Becca. He left the room immediately and Tim hurried to follow him.
"So," said Tim as they walked back to the squad room, "you used to know Becca?"
"FBI have sent over copies of the crashed car," said Tony, "I'll get on to them to send the car over as well."
"She said you knew each other at Ohio," persisted Tim, "says she was an accountancy and computer student."
"I'll contact the SEC," continued Tony, "see if they had anything in the wind about this company."
"Come on, Tony. It's not like you to be bashful about one of your conquests. What happened?"
"Thought you didn't like hearing about my conquests," said Tony coldly, "so let's leave it at that, McGee."
McGee frowned at Tony but decided he was doing his I'm an efficient federal agent pose and that further argument was useless. Besides, he thought, Gibbs was bringing Becca down to Abby later: she would get all the details.
After a few minutes reading the information already supplied by the FBI, McGee exclaimed,
"Hey. The Director didn't say anything about a casualty in the crash."
"Who?" Tony looked up from his computer.
"David Murchison. Becca's deputy. She says they were due to come to a meeting in DC. She sent him to get the car while she made the phone call to the FBI."
"He was in a crash between the parking lot and picking her up?" said Tony sceptically.
"No," said McGee as he looked at the detail, "It was a hire car. He went to pick it up from the other side of Annandale. The car went out of control as he was driving back."
"Why didn't the rental company deliver the car?" asked Tony, "that's weird."
"Don't know," said Tim.
"We'll go visit the rental company," said Tony, "find out why."
They were gathering their gear when Gibbs returned.
"McGee, you go down to Abby's lab and help her with the computer gizmo stuff."
"We were about to go visit the car rental place," said Tony.
"Take Bishop instead," said Gibbs.
"OK," said Tony, wondering if Ellie would be less nosey than McGee but suspicious of Tim's happy smile at being dispatched to work with Abby and Becca.
Tony phoned down to Abby's lab to tell Bishop to go get a car and then collected his gear and left. On his own in the squad room, Gibbs rubbed his temples as he felt the beginning of a tension headache. He didn't like the look on Tony's face and he'd found Ms Whitely's explanation of the accounting processes at her firm to be excruciatingly boring; he wished he could find an excuse to ship the whole thing back to the FBI. A thought struck him, and he picked up the phone,
"McGee."
"Yes, Boss."
"Run a full background check on Ms Whitely."
"Boss?"
"Standard procedure, McGee. Need to know she's legit."
"Yes, Boss." McGee restrained himself from rubbing his hands in delight.
In the squad room, Gibbs sighed and started reading the paperwork already supplied by the FBI.
NCISNCIS
In the lab, Abby had introduced Bert to Becca who, after an initial expression of disbelief, seemed to have fallen in love with him. She sat on one of Abby's stools and hugged the hippo,
"I can see why you like him, Abby," she said, "Makes you feel secure. Like they say, 'the best thing about hugs is that one size fits all." She gave a wobbly smile and clutched Bert tightly.
"Aww," said Abby, "I know just what you mean," and she reached over and gave Becca an Abby special hug.
"Thank you, Abby," said Becca, "you do good hugs."
"Not as good as Gibbs," said Abby modestly, "you wouldn't think it to see him but that man gives the best hugs."
"I can see that," said Becca, "he looks sort of fatherly."
"Exactly," said Abby approvingly, "although Tony does great hugs too."
"But not fatherly?" teased Becca.
"No. More brotherly. Or perhaps friendly? I don't know. What do you think, Tim?"
"I don't think I'm the best judge of what sort of hugger Tony is," said McGee with a hint of alarm.
"Um, McGee says that you and Tony knew each other? Before? I mean, before today?"
"Yes. Ads and I were at Ohio together."
"Ads?" asked Abby.
"Oh. It was my nickname for him. You know, his initials AD and I put S on the end."
"That's sweet," said Abby doubtfully.
"I wanted to call him something that was just for us," said Becca, "and he was the only person who ever called me Rebecca. It was like our own personal language."
"Cute," said Abby even more doubtful. Somehow, a Tony who let someone give him a pet name was something outside her experience.
"What was he like then?" asked Tim even as he was doing the background search on Becca.
"I'm not sure I should say," said Becca, "I mean, did he ever mention me?"
"Not that I remember," said Abby, "but … well … you see …"
"What Abby's trying to say is that Tony has had a lot of lady friends since we've known him," said McGee."
"Yes. I sort of got that impression from what Agent Gibbs said when we met this morning," said Becca ruefully. "You know, when he hit Ads on the head. Well, Ads was always popular with the girls on Campus so it's not too much of a surprise."
"Did you date for long?" asked Abby.
"Why do you want to know?" asked Becca.
"Oh! Not for bad reasons," said Abby hastily, "I don't want to find anything to blackmail him with or anything. It's just because I love Tony; it's neat to find out more about him. He can be secretive, you know. You get the impression that he tells you everything …"
"He does tell us everything, Abby," said Tim, "You know that. Remember what he told you last week about that bad sushi he ate? And the time when he went dumpster diving behind that pizza shop?"
"Yes, I know," said Abby, "but sometimes he talks without telling us anything. And he never told us about rescuing that kid from the fire. Tony has some secret stuff."
"That sounds like the Ads I knew," said Becca sadly, "you think you've got an open book but then you find there's whole chapters you never got to read."
"Exactly!" said Abby triumphantly, "see, McGee. It takes a woman to read Tony. Or a Gibbs."
"And it sounds as if I'm a chapter that Ads hasn't shown you," observed Becca.
"So," said Abby, "what was Tony like back then? The only person we've met who really knew him is his Dad."
"Tony Senior?" asked Becca. Abby nodded. "Oh," said Becca, "he was a real sweetheart. So charming. The complete gentleman."
"Really?" said McGee.
"Oh yes," said Becca.
McGee shrugged, he guessed Senior was more popular with women than men.
"So," Abby continued to press, "What was Tony like?"
"Good looking," said Becca, "popular. Look, I'm not sure I feel comfortable talking about Ads like this. If he hasn't mentioned me to you … well, you know, and he didn't look real pleased to see me today."
"OK," said Abby reluctantly, "I understand."
"I can tell you that he was very romantic," Becca seemed to relent, "not always very practical. We …"
"Were married!" exclaimed McGee as he gazed at his lap top in disbelief, "you and Tony were married?"
AN: during 'Kill Ari part 2' ghost Kate has a dig at Tony about women who intimidate him: including Marla the divorce lawyer. Why does Tony have bad memories of a divorce lawyer? It's always intrigued me and I've finally come up with my version of an answer.
