10 Million Aliens come to the Earth just to say Whoop

On the evening of October 17th, brightly coloured rocks appeared in the sky above the central Gobi desert.

On the scorched barren plains, they began to land.

No one saw them, except for an Indian TV crew shooting a documentary. It was late evening, the sun was on the horizon and the TV crew were getting ready to survive through the cold night in the desert, this now forgotten, by the awe-struck crew.

The smooth rock-like objects swooped down with barely a sound and landed on the desert sand. They were big, a good 50 metres across for the nearest, which was coloured a bright sky blue. Just behind it a large white cylinder, maybe half a kilometre in diameter landed and immediately a swarm of creatures began to pour out.

The looked a good 15 feet tall, they were a dun brown colour had four arms, two huge legs and were topped off by round cheerful looking heads.

They were all pulling varying sizes of floating boxes from the large blue craft, without a pause they began opening the boxes and from inside came a host of different things. Equipment that looked a lot like bats and tables and odd shaped chairs. Longs poles, short benches, a myriad of what turned out to be a thousand different containers with even more gizmos and stuff, don't forget the stuff (or so it was written in the book 'THE DAY THE ALIENS CAME!)

One of the biggest boxes they opened kept expanding until it was like a large super-bowl arena?

As the Indian TV crew watched in shock and astonishment, a whole of other brightly coloured craft landed and dispensed thousands more of these astonishing creatures and their amazing technology. The crew, recovered enough to start recording this amazing scene, one using a satellite phone to call home.

For an hour they filmed the strange creatures, which fell in two main categories, the aforementioned tall and tan beings and some strange round bouncy ball things with six limbs and the ability to change colour from red to orange and back again.

In truth they were mostly shades of red and orange, but what a variety!

They spread out over a huge area and produced shiny floating discs, a small stadium like construction, tables with seats and discs and pieces for playing games of many kinds.

One particularly vast white cylinder merely sat and hummed, only two of the bouncy creatures exited it and wandered around the edge, before getting back in.

Meanwhile, over in the Canadian Rockies more hot (these were smoking) rocks appeared in the sky.

Again they quickly landed and disgorged tens of thousands of both the tall and round bouncy ball type beings, that quickly set up a vast variety of buildings, booths and stadiums and a huge oval that sat on its side like a concert stand.

They had a device that shot a variety of packages of many colours and sizes into the oval, whereupon they appeared to disappear, before shooting out! At high speed, nearly every one was expertly caught.

Some landed in the arms of the quick moving standing and round beings. Some however, were plucked spectacularly out of the air, particularly by the six armed round beings.

Every time that happened the surrounding crowd in the arena roared with approval and air filled, with what can only be described as deafening applause. If nothing else, it was speculated, they were a happy bunch.

Discs seemed popular.

In both Canada and Mongolia, thousands of silver discs were unpacked and left to float six feet above the ground.

Several of the tall four limbed aliens scrambled aboard the roughly eight by ten sized discs and sat upright in the middle of them

They zoomed off! and how! It was considered by human watchers they zipped off so fast they barely saw them move.

This was a very popular pastime with the visitors.

As was gambling, maybe.

It looked for the world as if thousands of games of what could be dice and cards with meat chucking (it may have been meat). And particularly singing while spinning balls and cylinders on the ends of their multiple arms. It seemed a set note was given for every piece and a there was a song for elimination and of course, victory.

The game itself was an enigma to the ever growing human audience.

Different turns seemed to denote a different songs to be sung as each piece was balanced and then cast onto the board, which, in the case of this game was a huge 20 x 20 oval of what looked like dark grey metal sunk into the ground.

In one case, in Mongolia, something like 3999 of the round and multi-armed aliens all gathered in front of an audience of a half million or so visitors and started chucking out what sounded like happy acid jazz space fusion orchestral music mixed with something like running water.

It was almost as if some of the instruments gave off a wave of palpable energy as well as sound.

'Have you ever seen this many giant multi-armed tan coloured aliens and there incomparable six armed bouncy spheroid buddies rock out like this!' screamed an intrepid MTV vj.

No one had.

The 'concert' went on for the next 15 hours. This was followed by a strange forward leaning screen, like a cartoon rendition of a drive-in movie theatre being erected.

A small mixture of aliens, around a 100, gathered in front of it and stared intently for a few moments.

Then boom! With a cry that could have been frittata! About a dozen of them leapt into the suddenly active screen and ran inside it.

They seemed to be running hell for leather along smooth branch like roads that coiled and looped around and around each other.

On a 2-D screen, the dozen runners, charged onwards and deeper into the course, the watchers jumped, bumped and waved their arms in great excitement.

After about a half hour, they suddenly leapt back onto the ground where they had started, looking triumphant and exhilarated.

'Where they physically inside that thing, or did it just hold them and project their image?' Someone asked.

'Well, they don't look puffed, so it's hard to say.' A reply was heard to be given.

Perplexity was the order of the day for this event.

It was noticed; sometimes the visitors would disappear inside a ship for a while. The vast vessels that lay almost casually amongst the gaiety and noise.

The world media and government and their military, were troubled to say the least.

Many officials, troops and journalists were duly despatched to the offending landing areas.

The USA the UK the UN, all the u's, well all the goods ones anyway.

They approached gingerly with great uncertainty.

The aliens didn't show much interest in the approaching humans until they got within voice range. It turned out if you yelled at them with a megaphone, they would occasional turn and wave cheerfully.

The round ones actually bounced over.

One special forces operative fired his rifle in alarm at a cheerfully red bouncy, the gun didn't go off. It transpired that all the firing mechanisms' on all weapons froze within a five mile radius of the visitors.

Some military group did try secretly dropping some bombs on the Gobi bunch of aliens, but they later admitted they never saw 'neither hide nor hair' of their missiles again.

Eventually the important people let the press go in.

Many questions were asked.

One particularly bright and striking orangey alien turned to a pretty blonde TV journalist, tousled her hair with its giant hand and said what sounded like 'honey mint pudding!'

It was doubtful that was the intended message.

Inspired by this, the blonde TV girl bravely clambered onto one of the discs while the aliens merely looked on in curiosity. A bouncy one then leaped some 40 feet in the air and made a sound like 'pooty' as it landed.

She was seen on millions of TVs across the world shooting off at high speed, it had been speculated some kind of invisible field held the intrepid rider in place.

Usually the discs zoomed around the plains of Mongolia or the Mountains of Canada for 5- 20 minutes before returning to the original position amongst much shouting and celebrating.

Her disc came back about 2 hours later. She seemed okay, but a little surprised.

'For a while I was underwater in a lake, but I could breathe okay,' she told an enthralled world.

'It was the trip of a lifetime and it didn't upset my tummy.'

'That said, it didn't really tell me much.' She was seen to look over at the keenly entertained visitors, 'It's hard to ask for an interview when you don't speak their language.'

From the massive variety of sounds and words that came from the happy space people, it was speculated they were using in excess of over 40,000 different words sounds and expressions.

Quite a few more than standard English.

Within a few hours more landings were reported.

Canada and Mongolia were joined by China, Russia and Brazil.

In each case the massive ships, their millions of inhabitants and all their vast array of entertainments arrived in much the same way.

After four days it appeared that there were around ten million of these strange unannounced alien beings partying on planet earth.

In this time little or nothing had been gleaned as to what or why this was happening.

'It's a festival, they're having fun.' Some brave souls noted and went back to their usual daily routines.

Many worried, understandably, many more pondered that the aliens were really a little bit rude.

'Couldn't they stay on their own planet and do that?' Was often voiced.

Practical types opined, 'Well, at least they chose 'out of the way' places for whatever it is the hell that their doing.'

'It's not like they're in anybody's way.'

After six days and 4 hours of this enthusiastic activity, a sudden pall fell over the tall, round and either way multi-limbed brave 10,000,000.

They all looked skyward; it's hard to tell whether a ball shaped alien is looking straight up, but not impossible.

As one they took in a deep breath, one that was watched on TV by humans the world over. Many praying thinking the end was nigh.

'WHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP'

They visitors let out, all together.

It was said to be loud, 'I mean really freaking loud.'

Not enough to hurt anyone's ears though.

After letting out their collective, what sounded for all the world like 'whoop?'

The various beings turned and embraced each other, over and again they grabbed a nearby neighbour in a friendly hug, this went on for about ten minutes.

Then they started to pack up and leave.

Slowly at first, then more rapidly, they closed down their many myriad entertainments, both the ones understood and those that will forever remain a mystery.

In ten's hundred's then thousands, they packed-up and returned to their vessels.

(Later, there was a rumour that it looked like a few of the Gobi aliens were carrying what looked suspiciously looked like earth-made missiles under their arms.)

Eventually, the vast colourful, rock-like ships lifted-off almost soundlessly into the sky.

Slowly at first, until they looked about the size of a football, then they disappeared.

Satellites that had observed everything on the ground just fine were unable to track anything once they lifted off the ground.

At the time, the end time, a weathered looking American General at the Tunguska site in Mongolia was observed to turn to an aide and say.

'So, what you're basically trying to tell me son,' he removed his peaked cap and wiped his brow, 'is that 10 million aliens came to the Earth just to shout Whoop.'

'Essentially, yes sir.'

'Well, damn…….'

By Paul Baker

For SFX Pulp Idol competition, June 4, 2007.