April's Fools
No April Fools' Day jokes, that's what Josh had been telling everyone last week. Apparently, someone didn't listen, he thought, because no way was Lester Charles replaced by Annabeth Schott. At least not without him knowing about it.
"Donna!" Josh hollered, his eyes glued to the television. Annabeth was joking around with Mike from the Times and Tom from the Boston Globe about the April Fools' jokes their respective publications printed on this morning.
"Almost done," Donna shouted back and then entered the living room, her hair in an lazy bun, she wore jeans and a light blue cardigan.
"Did you know that Annabeth would do the briefing this morning?" Josh asked, eying his girlfriend suspiciously.
"What?" Donna asked back perplexed. "We didn't schedule a briefing for this morning. There will be one later in the evening about the First Lady's schedule but definitely not in the morning."
"I'm just saying Annabeth is on the podium and Lester is nowhere to be seen," Josh said, pulling out his cell phone, punching number 5 on his speed dial list.
"What did she say so far?"
"She was just joking around with Tom and Mike," Josh said.
"Look, she is ready to start," Donna said, but Josh was already on the phone.
"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen," Annabeth greeted the assembled reporters. "This is not an April Fools' joke. Ten minutes ago, White House Press Secretary Lester Charles was brought to GW. Apparently, an April Fools' joke gone bad. I don't have the details, but since he is indisposed I'll do the briefing. First things first, there won't be any official April Fools' Day jokes in the White House today."
"Who decided that?" Mike asked Annabeth.
"The Joint Chiefs," Annabeth said with a grin.
"She didn't!" Josh exclaimed while Donna was gasping for air. "Lou, tell me she didn't refer to me and Donna as the Joint Chiefs!"
"Which ones?" Mike was apparently ready to play along.
Donna turned off the TV and after putting on her jacket she picked up their belongings. Josh was still on the phone with Lou. She shouldered her own bag and kept Josh's in her hands while they left the flat.
"Lou, I don't care," Josh said after Lou recounted what happened to Lester. "I mean I hope he is okay," he said after receiving a glare from Donna, "but I don't care when it happened, I'm the first one you call. You don't have time, fine, let Otto or Ginger or someone else place a call. I don't want to turn on my TV and learn that my Press Secretary is indisposed! Unbelievable!" He turned to Donna then when Lou hung up on him. "She hung up on me."
"Yeah, I can't fathom why," Donna remarked dryly as she climbed into the car.
Half an hour later, Josh and Donna barged into the White House, both in murderous mood. Annabeth was obviously done with the briefing because she wasn't in the West Wing when Josh arrived there. For Lou's misfortune, he ran into the Communications Director on his way to his office. She let him rant for five minutes but then, without reacting to his reprimanding words, cut him off with an update on Lester. He had to have his stomach pumped; he would be back the next day.
"Is Sam in the building?" Josh asked Ginger when they arrived at the ante-room of his office.
"Yes," Ginger answered promptly, sensing Josh's dangerous mood.
"I want him in my office ASAP," Josh said, and then leaving Lou behind he stormed into his office. The door closed with a loud bang. He breathed out, letting the anger leave his body. He didn't know why he was so irked. There was a problem, his staff handled it with ease (even if they forgot to call him first) and the only annoying thing was Annabeth' playful reference on his and Donna's relationship. And it wasn't like she coined the phrase. Although the buzz about their dating died in February, the term 'Joint Chiefs' remained, much to his and Donna's chagrin. Their co-workers refrained from using the phrase but that didn't mean they weren't getting it from anyone else. He still didn't know why he was so mad about the situation but with time he came to the realization that it was more the 'Joint Chiefs' jab than Lou not calling him. When Sam arrived he decided to leave it at that for the time being, postponing the analyzing and dissecting of feelings.
After his meeting with Sam, Josh's day went by as usual, he was reading briefing memo after briefing memo. He and Donna went out for late lunch and when they arrived back Ginger was waiting for him. She seemed pretty agitated.
"What's wrong, Ginger?" Josh asked his assistant.
"There is something wrong in the building," Ginger informed them in a conspiratorial whisper.
"Ginger, I swear to you if this is the beginning of some kind of a twisted April Fools' Day joke, I…" Josh warned her.
"No, I promised you I wouldn't take part in the madness," Ginger said. "Lou's assistant was here and she told me Otto is in a mood, Lou is in a mood and she came from Sam's office and Sam was in a mood, too."
"You are basing your assessment that something is wrong in the building on the observational skills of Lou's assistant?" Josh asked her incredulously.
"Josh," Donna warned him. "Don't mock Ginger; I'm sure she just wanted to help you. It's your job to know if your staff is in a mood, it can affect their work."
"Yeah, but I'm not actually required to solve their problems, am I?" Josh asked the two women in front of him.
"No, Josh, you are not," Donna said. "However, Sam is your friend and I would guess that you might want to share his burden."
"Yeah, right. Ginger, I'll be over at Sam's," Josh told his assistant and slouched off towards Sam's office, not seeing the gentle smile the two women exchanged upon his departing.
"He has come a long way," Ginger said finally when Josh was out of earshot.
"Yeah," Donna agreed.
"It's your influence," Ginger said.
"Plus, you know, he has grown up. I mean emotionally too," Donna added with a smile. "Okay, I think I'm gonna head back to my wing."
"See you later."
Donna was deep in thoughts; that's why she didn't notice someone crossing her path until they actually collided. It was White House Counsel Ainsley Hayes, and she was obviously crying. Donna was taken aback, she never saw Ainsley get emotional, she was either friendly and chipper or professional and serious. And she certainly had never seen her crying. Ginger was apparently right; there was something wrong in the building.
"Hey, Ainsley," she called out gently.
"Hi, Donna," Ainsley said, attempting a smile. It actually came out like a grimace.
"Can I help you?" Donna asked her.
"I was on my way back to my office," Ainsley remarked, but Donna knew misdirection when she saw it.
"Ainsley, I don't want to be inquisitive or something, but you were crying. Now, can I help you?" she asked.
"You got an hour?" Ainsley asked back.
"I can do an hour," Donna reassured her and they set off towards Ainsley's office in silence.
Donna briefly wondered where Ainsley's assistant was, but she guessed that Ainsley gave her the Sunday off just like Donna did with her own assistant. Sure, Josh asked them all in January to work Saturdays and Sundays until the Mets' first seasonal game this night, but Donna, and apparently Ainsley too, thought that their assistants had better to do with their Sundays than be in the office. Ainsley took place on the couch in her office, and Donna sat down next to her.
"So, what's wrong?"
"I was upstairs to see Sam," Ainsley said.
"I know he is in a mood, did he make you cry?" Donna asked, feeling anger rising in her chest.
"No. Or yes. I can't really decide," Ainsley hesitated. "We had a meeting but when I arrived there he was holding a pregnancy test in his hands. I swear to you, Donna, I didn't plant it on his desk or something like that," Ainsley hurried to explain.
"Waitaminute!" Donna stopped the influx of words. "You took a pregnancy test? And there is a chance that it's Sam's?" The questions got one answer, a slight nod. "I think you better start from the beginning, Ainsley."
"Yeah, right. I forgot I never told anyone about that night," Ainsley whispered and then fell silent.
"Which night?" Donna prompted her.
"His fiancée was out of town, he told me they had some lover's spat and she went back to California to visit her parents. Lou, Lester and the others were going out and they asked Sam, and me too, to join them. Sam got totally sloshed, and since no one else knew where he lived I had to take him home. He kissed me as a thank you and the events progressed on their own from then on. Donna, I swear to you, I had never been so stupid in my entire life. I knew he had a fiancé, I knew he was going to marry her but I reasoned that I wanted to have sex with him for so long and it will be that one time only and what could possibly go wrong, he was drunk, he wouldn't remember a thing," Ainsley explained at the speed of light and then stopped abruptly.
"Except he did," Donna said when Ainsley fell silent.
"Yeah, I forgot to steal away in the morning, so we woke up next to each other. Naked," she added unnecessarily.
"I see. But I never noticed any tension there," Donna said. "And you two work so well together."
"Yeah, we agreed we were both under the influence of José Cuervo and that we should just forget it."
"Except you think you are pregnant?" Donna prompted her again.
"No," Ainsley said and then a grin appeared on her face. "I don't just think I'm sure I am pregnant."
"Ainsley," Donna said with a sympathetic sigh. "I take it from your tone you are happy about it."
"Yes. You see, I was content with living for my job; I actually gave up on kids the day Josh asked me to be the White House Counsel. This child is a surprise, but a pleasant one at that," Ainsley told her. "And before you ask, I'm going to keep it."
"So what did Sam say? And how did he get your pregnancy test?" Donna asked then.
"It wasn't my pregnancy test, Donna. I took one with the smiley face, and this one was with the positive sign."
"And how did Sam react?" Donna pressed on.
"I told him the pregnancy test was under no circumstances mine, and he looked exceptionally relieved. So I didn't really have the courage to tell him about the baby after that," Ainsley said, her head hung, new tears appearing at the tip of her eyelashes, making their way onto her beige skirt.
"Okay, I think you definitely should tell him. It would best to do it today," Donna said.
"Who is the other woman? Who left that pregnancy test for him?" Ainsley asked in a whisper when Donna stood up to depart from the Counsel's office.
"I don't know, but then again I would have never thought that Sam would sleep with someone else than his fiancée. So it's safe to say I'm not the current expert on everything Sam Seaborn," Donna said, thinking that Ainsley needed the truth, not some fake consoling words. She needed to understand that Sam might not want to be around when the kid was born, and she needed to face the possibility that she might have to leave the White House. And facing reality started with realizing that Sam might have had an affair with another staffer of the White House.
Josh arrived back from Sam's office to find Donna there, talking to Ginger about some Harry Potter-related April Fools' Day hoax. He didn't know why but both were fascinated by those books, and they liked trading assumptions, theories and hypotheses on the seventh installment. Preferably whether Harry would live after the author was done with the series. He smiled inwardly as he watched the two women interact, laughing and giggling as they went.
"You ready to go home?" he asked Donna then, interrupting their conversation.
"I don't think so," Donna said, her face sobering. "Could we talk in your office, please?"
"Of course," Josh said and then went inside. He tripped over his knapsack, almost landing face forwards on his office's floor. He quickly looked back at Donna who was trying hard not to smile. "You know, you can laugh, I'm pretty clumsy today," he admitted.
"That's the understatement of the year, even the decade maybe," Donna said with a gentle smile, but Josh didn't see it because his eyes were fixed on something that was lying on the floor. He bent down and picked it up, studying it for a second before turning back fully to Donna. "Donna, do you want to tell me something?" he asked her then hesitantly.
He held a pregnancy test in his hand, and there was a plus sign on the display. He handed the little stick over, and Donna took a quick look too. She then looked up at him, holding his gaze as if she were trying to gauge his reaction; at least that was what Josh thought she was doing.
"This is not my pregnancy test, Josh," Donna told him. "First, I would never bring it into the office, second, I did one last week but it was negative."
Josh didn't know what to feel. He was relieved and disappointed at the same time. He wanted a child with Donna, but not before he asked her to marry him. That's what he figured out while listening to Sam rant about his fiancée. He wanted to marry her, to have her in his life for the rest of his days on this Earth. And maybe in afterlife too, because if there was a just God he wouldn't separate them after they died. Not after what they went through to finally arrive there where they were right now. Not after finally arriving at each other's side.
"You thought you might be?" he asked then.
"Yeah, but I'm not. My gynecologist confirmed it on Wednesday," Donna informed him.
"You didn't want to tell me?" Josh asked her, trying to avoid sounding accusatory. He aimed for brevity, not giving himself a chance to ruin the moment.
"That's right," Donna got defensive nonetheless. "We didn't talk about children before, so I didn't want to either worry you or get your hopes high unnecessarily."
"That was very noble of you, but if there is something of this dimension bothering you, I'd like you to share it with me in the future. Especially because it concerns both of us," Josh said, his tone still even, still trying to avoid putting his foot into his mouth.
"Okay," Donna agreed quickly then threw him a fond smile. "So which one?"
"Which one?"
"Yeah, which would have been unnecessary? Worrying you or getting your hopes high?"
"I would have worried but my hopes would have been pretty high too," Josh said truthfully. "Let's talk about this at home."
"Okay, but we can't go home right now," Donna told him.
"Why the hell not? The game starts in about three hours, I want to grab a shower first and maybe eat something too," Josh informed her about his plans. "This is our last Sunday at the office, Donna, at least voluntarily. I want to celebrate all the hard work that went into the first sixty days."
"Seventy," Donna corrected him. "But that was the third pregnancy test in the West Wing today. And considering the day, I'm thinking that there is a very sick person working here," Donna said.
"The third pregnancy test?" Josh asked.
"Tell me you know about the one Sam got," Donna begged him.
"No, we didn't talk about babies, we talked about Isabelle. Is she pregnant?" Josh asked then with a frown. It didn't seem right because Sam was contemplating ways of getting out of the engagement. Josh still didn't know why, he was sure the reason had been there but Sam kept ranting on and on about his failed relationships, about some crush he had in the Bartlet years and all Josh was able to remember that a) he really wanted to marry Donna, b) hopefully Sam wasn't talking about Laurie the hooker and c) his friend wanted to find a way to walk back on the engagement thing.
"Okay, Josh, you apparently missed the part when I said this was a sick joke," Donna reprimanded him accompanied with a glare. "Try to keep up with the rest of the class."
"Who got the third one?" Josh asked after replaying Donna's earlier statement in his mind.
"Otto," Donna said.
"So that's why he and Lou were in a mood earlier?" Josh mused aloud.
"Yeah, I went to see Lou when I… Anyway, she is not pregnant but Otto was apparently worried she might," Donna informed him.
"I thought they broke off whatever they had," Josh asked her.
"Yeah, me too. Well, I guess they didn't," she added then with a shrug of her shoulders.
"So who had the opportunity to plant all three, and first of all, why?" Josh asked finally.
"I don't know why but I have an idea who could have done it," Donna told him. "I asked Zelda who was in Sam's office today. She told me she didn't let anybody in except you and Sam but then she remembered that Lou's assistant, Avril was in Sam's office to drop off some files."
"Ginger!" Josh bellowed.
"You know, you could use the intercom," Donna warned him.
"Yeah, but where would the fun be in that?" Josh asked her with a mischievous grin.
"You hollered?" Ginger asked him, flashing a brief grin at Donna.
"Yeah. I know Lou's assistant was here. Was she actually in my office?"
"Yes," Ginger confirmed their suspicions, "she helped me to bring some heavy memos into your office."
"Okay," Josh said. "I want her, Lou, Otto and Sam in here. Right now," he added then upon seeing Ginger's confusion.
"Is there something wrong? Is something missing? I…"
"You did nothing wrong, Ginger," Josh hurried to reassure his assistant. "I'll tell you everything after my meeting with those people. But get them here as soon as possible, I have a Mets game to catch, and they will be 'takin' care of business' by kicking some Cards ass tonight!" he exclaimed exuberantly.
Donna watched as the four people filed into Josh's office. Lou nodded at her, Otto's eyes widened at her presence; Sam sported a dazed expression on his face so Donna knew Ainsley already talked to him. But it was the fourth person Donna directed her attention at. Avril Bascombe looked bored. Which was rather strange considering the manner she was called to the Chief of Staff's office. Donna saw that Josh noticed it too.
"Hi everyone," Josh greeted the assembled staffers, and Donna realized he was a bit nervous. "First of all, let me tell you that I too received a surprise pregnancy test," Josh told them, quickly glancing at Avril, apparently looking for a sign of remorse. When none appeared he turned to the other three. They were all gazing at Donna who smiled at their reaction.
"I'm not pregnant," she reassured them then. Lou let out a relieved sigh, and although Donna found this a bit annoying she knew Lou had the administration's best interest at heart when she didn't want to announce a baby out of wedlock. Not that it won't come to that, she thought, feeling for Lou. But only for a moment, she was still annoyed with the sigh of relief.
"Now that we cleared that, I would like to ask Avril why she felt it necessary to plant the pregnancy tests in Otto's, Sam's and my office?" Josh quickly turned back to the assistant who at the moment looked startled and shocked.
"You!" Otto yelled at her, making both Avril and Lou jump.
"I… I… I just…" the girl stuttered. "They… They… They told me to…" she staggered on.
"What did they tell you?" Sam asked sharply.
"And who is this they?" Josh inserted his question.
"Otto and Lou," Avril finally found her voice and wits. "They made me watch the websites for April Fools' Day jokes and then compile clippings," she accused. "I have a BA in Communications, thank you very much. That is an intern's job!"
"And that's why you played this sick joke on Sam, Josh and Otto?" Donna asked incredulously.
"I just wanted to scare the hell out of Otto," Avril said defiantly. "He never recognized my talents, I was just Lou's little assistant, good for fetching coffee and doing research but not for anything else!"
"And that's why you got vindictive?" Josh asked back perplexed. "I'm thankful for whatever God is out there that I had a very imaginative assistant who knew how to punish me when I was a jackass to her without actually causing me pain or hurt me in any way," Josh said, glaring at Avril.
"I heard she played tricks on you," Avril retorted, and her gaze wandered from Josh to Donna. Donna shrugged in response, but Josh answered her.
"Yeah, she once filled the pockets of my suit jacket with confetti, there was a big surprise when I dug into them for a handkerchief and came up with little bits of colored paper. She also changed my badge with a doctored one that said Deputy Downer Josh Lyman which I then wore to the Hill for almost a day before realizing it. But she never, ever, did something this hurtful to get back at me," he added. "And I don't even want to talk about the difference between the relationship of me and Donna back then, and your relationship with your boss."
"I just wanted to scare them a bit," Avril said in a tiny voice.
"I'll scare you in return by telling you that you are suspended," Josh said. "Now, get out of my sight. You are not to return until the end of the next week and then we will talk about your reassignment."
Avril left the office, seemingly castigated enough. Josh turned to Otto and Lou.
"I don't want to know about your relationship any more than I already know but if I read about it in the Post or the Times, I will reassign both of you. Otto will be demoted to be the personal assistant of Bram, and Lou will head up the Photo Office. You have been warned," Josh told them.
"You want us to break it off?" Otto wanted to clarify.
"Did I tell you something about breaking it off?" Josh asked back.
"No," Otto said, shaking his head.
"Then I think we can safely assume that all I want is to avoid a scandal," Josh told the young man.
"Okay," Otto agreed and then both he and Lou left Josh's office.
"Sam," Donna addressed then the Deputy Chief of Staff. "I would like to apologize to you."
"Why?"
"Because I thought bad things about you without evidence," Donna said. "Besides, I'm not that perfect either, I shouldn't be the first one to cast a stone."
"Ainsley talked to you?" Sam asked back, and Donna saw from the corner of her eye that Josh was desperately struggling to keep up with the conversation.
"Yes," Donna confirmed. "Did she come back to tell you about her…?" Donna asked, not finishing the sentence. It was not her news to share.
"Yeah, she came upstairs once again. We talked a bit, I'm breaking off the engagement with Isabelle and going to marry Ainsley next month," Sam told Donna.
"Did you even ask her if she wanted to become your wife?" Donna asked back, eying Sam suspiciously. She couldn't imagine Ainsley saying yes under the circumstances. Sam was still engaged, and Donna was sure Ainsley would make Sam consider his decision, sleep on it, maybe even twice before acting hastily.
"No, I didn't, Donna," Sam said, his voice carrying the hint of irritation. "But she is pregnant with my child, of course she is gonna marry me."
"Yeah, Sam, do yourself a favor and make sure you only ask her when your engagement was already terminated and you are not drunk," Donna warned him.
"I thought I would ask her after I broke up with Isa this evening," Sam said.
"Trust me on this, Sam, you don't want to ask her until this thing with the tests blow over and there is time between your break up with Isabelle and your proposal," Donna told him.
"Okay," Sam said and then he too left Josh's office.
"So… Ainsley is pregnant with Sam's baby, and he wants to marry her?" Josh asked her, summarizing their conversation.
"Yup," Donna confirmed. "Okay, let's get you home, dude, there is a game to catch."
"It just won't be the same without Mike Piazza," Josh whined.
"Yeah, I know. But that's alright because there is no legitimate dude-sighting for you for the next couple of years," Donna told him, barely being able to hide her grin.
"Don't you think that as the second powerful man of the old U.S. of A I'm entitled to my legitimate dude-sighting?"
"Yeah, you definitely are powerful," Donna placated him. "And handsome. Did I tell you how handsome I find you?"
"Donna," Josh whined.
"What? I can't tell my boyfriend that I think him handsome and powerful?" Donna asked back in a complaining tone.
"You know it's pretty silly sounding. I mean do I look like a boyfriend? Isn't that someone under 20?"
"What term would you prefer, oh man o'mine?" Donna joked with him.
"Fiancé has a nice ring to it. You could introduce me, 'Hi, this is Josh Lyman, my fiancé, also the second powerful man in the USA.'"
"Yeah, likely to happen," Donna murmured and then realized what Josh just said. "I strongly hope this wasn't your proposal, Josh Lyman, because if that's what it was then you have to try harder," she warned him, her mind still replaying his words. Over and over again.
"No, I just wanted to prepare you for the late night talk we are going to have about babies and a legal bond we might both want to enter," Josh told her with a smile playing on his lips.
"Okay," Donna said, flashing a big smile at his soon-to-be-fiancé.
"Let's go home," Josh said and they left the building together.
THE END
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