A/N: So, I've had this idea in my mind for awhile now. A few days...or a week... (I don't know anymore) ago, I was watching Disney's Beauty and the Beast. When I got to the Gaston song, I figured it would be a good way to make fun of Daniel XD I talked it over some with lovethatignites (thanks girl!) and was thinking of doing an overall EWW Beauty and the Beast...but I'm pretty sure I've changed my mind about it, and that I'm just going to post this. Who knows, I might change my mind in the future, but I don't know.

Belle: Emma (though she doesn't appear here)

Beast: Jax (he doesn't appear)

Gaston: Daniel

Lefou:...I won't spoil it, but I'm pretty sure you all have an idea of who it is XD

Warning: There will be modern things/references

Enjoy!

*In a 'Beauty and the Beast' version of the Seven*

"Who does she think she is?" A boy pouted in his high chair, "that girl has tangled with the wrong man! No one says no to Daniel!"

An older woman with long brown hair joined him, handing him a sippy cup with swishing white liquid in it, "huh, darn right!" She exclaimed.

"Dismissed, rejected, publicly humiliated! Why it's more than I can bear!" he blubbered, throwing the sippy cup to the ground in a tantrum, the drink spilling everywhere. He then proceeded with his signature pout, a tear rolling down his cheek.

"Uh, more milk?" The motherly woman asked.

"What for, nothing helps? I'm disgraced." He put his head in his hands.

"Who you?" she smiled, hoping to cheer him up, "never! My son, you've got to pull yourself together!"

Daniel stubbornly turned his head away.

"Gosh it disturbs me to see you my son, looking so down in the dumps!" Mrs. Miller tried once again to speak to him, but yet he still turned away. She resorted to walking to a table of men, "every guy here'd love to be you my son." The men looked at her with raised eyebrows, some were trying to hold back laughter, but she quickly gave them a threatening glare. As a result, they all fake smiled and cheered. She continued on, "even when taking your Triaminic!"

The boy repositioned his crossed arms, even when his mother came back over to him. "There's no boy in town as admired as you, you're my favorite guy! Everyone's awed and inspired by you," The men all began to snort and cover their mouths, "and it's not very hard, to see why!"

At that point, the only girls who DID like Daniel, positioned themselves around his highchair. No one knew why Maddie, Katie, and Sophie found him attractive, they guessed it was because of the sexy trot he sometimes showed off.

"No one's, slick as my son, no one's quick as my son, no one's head is incredibly thick as my son's!" Mrs. Miller used the belt she took from a customer to wrap it around Daniel's neck.

"Mommy! It's too tight!" He protested.

"Sorry, honey." She apologized and got it off.

"For there's no man in town half as manly. Perfect, a pure paragon! You can ask any Diego, Mac, or Tony, and they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!"

Now she gestured to the previously named men to speak when she did. "No one's, been like my son, a king pin like my son," she pranced over to Daniel, "no one's got a small cleft in his chin like my son!" She used her index finger to lightly rub it, causing him to erupt in giggles.

"As a speciman, yes, I'm intimidating!" He shouted, holding out his arms. His mother got the signal, helping him out of the chair.

"My what a guy that Daniel!" The men yelled, "give five 'hurrah's' and twelve 'hip hips!'"

"My son is the best and the rest is all drips!" Unfortunately, in Mrs. Miller's failure to notice Daniel behind her, she got milk all over him when she threw up the drink cup.

"Mommy!" He cried out, tears rolling down his cheeks. He began to trot around the Seven, his hair poofing out with the wind being created and his pants were starting to bunch.* Maddie, Katie, and Sophie blushed and began to giggle.

"No one, trots like my son, styles hair like my son, in a swimming contest nobody doggy paddles like my son!" Mrs. Miller gushed.

"For there's no one as pale and abnormally tall*...woo!" The girls squealed with delight when Daniel used them as towels to get the milk off.

"As you see I got biceps to spare!" He proudly flexed an arm, however, when Sophie touched it, she was reminded of pudding.

"Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny!" Mrs. Miller cheered.

"That's right!" Daniel agreed, "and every last inch of me's," he paused to wink, "covered with hair!" He unbuttoned his shirt to show off one lone, black, curly hair on the center of his chest.

"No one kisses cheeks like Daniel, matches math wit like Daniel..."

Daniel looked at the paper in front of him.

1+1=?

In a fit, he crumbled up the paper and threw it...it only went about a foot away.

"In a stalking match, nobody stalks like my son!"

Daniel smiled, "I'm especially good at looking through windows!" To make his point, he used a glass on the bar counter to peep at the other customers.

"Ten points for Daniel!" Diego, Mac, and Tony called out.

"When I was a boy I drank four gallons of breastmilk, every morning to help me get large! And now that I'm grown I drink five gallons of breastmilk, so I'm roughly the size of a boat!"

"No one, complains like Daniel, makes those annoyed like Daniel..."

"Then goes trotting around wearing sneakers like my son!" Mrs. Miller supplied.

Daniel dropped to the ground, "I use flowers in all of my decorating!" He completed it with a beyond sexy leg lift.

"My what a guy...my son!" Mrs. Miller cheered.

Tony, Diego, and Mac were all covering their mouths so the laughter wouldn't escape, while Daniel walked over to his mother. Giving her a hug, she poofed out his hair while he whispered, "thanks Mommy."

She pulled away. "You're welcome sweetie. Now, tuck in your shirt!"

"Yes, Mommy." He mumbled, following her orders.

A/N: Lol, hope ya liked it! :)

*inspired by lovethatignites and delightisadream :)

Triaminic is a children's cold medicine XD