Disclaimer: Unfortunatly I Only Own The Oc In My Dreams
This is my firstfanfic and its a song fic to Lostprophets Song - 4 Am Forever
Please R&R It will make me wanna continue to write
JoJo
Yesterday I lost my closest friend
One whole day she had been gone.
I spent the whole of that day wishing for her back
My best friend was gone
And nothing that Seth, Her Dad, Kirsten or Sandy said could change it.
There attempts were useless!
Yesterday I wanted time to end
The news cut through me like a knife.
I just wanted the day to rewind and for her not go in the truck
I want to tell Ryan to stop when Volchuck said
Maybe she would still be alive
That's why I ran, it had to stop
I wonder if my heart will ever mend
Pain.
That's all I Feel
No love, No Hate
Just Pain
I feel the pain of my two best friends, For Julie and Katlin
It made it 10 Times Worse to be here
I just let you slip away
I wish i had said a better goodbye to you.
Ryan tried to stop you from dying
But you still let go and left us here!
As I stand here tonight I know they are looking for me but I don't want to be found.
4 AM forever Maybe I'll never see you smile again
I turned my mobile off
Apart from the numerous calls of people worried about me, voicemails asking where I was
The picture of you and me broke my heart
The warmest smile of all, the one that could take Cohen off my mind
I'd never see it again, and I'm scared of that thought
Maybe you thought that it was all pretend;
Denial
One of the five stages of grieve they say
I don't need a shrink to tell me I'm in denial
A part of me died the night you did
When I think about life without you I still see you
Realizing it was a dream
Denial!
All these words that I could never say
All the late night hone calls
The times we had bitching sessions about Ryan and Cohen
Seemed so far away but yet still fresh as the day at the model home
The times I said that I loved you
I want to be able to tell you them just one more time
I just let them slip away
I've taken al the time that we spent together for granted
The time we fell out over the person that caused your death
The time when we both held each other and cried after Ryan and Seth left
There are only 3 of us now and to me, that just isn't right
You should be on a plane and Ryan should be playing stupid video games with Seth
Instead he's just come out of hospital and your dead
4 AM forever Why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you (to you)
I scream your name
Cry a river of tears
But God won't give you back to me
I hear them call out my name
Why don't you listen when I try to make it through (to you)
This is my way of dealing
They don't realize i'm looking down on them like you are to me
The only difference is that i'm on cliffs and you're in heaven
You're at peace and i'm in pain
Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye
I said goodbye to you a few hours ago
But the only thing is
I said goodbye for 6 months
Not a lifetime
Goodbye, you never know
And that what hurt the most
Knowing I can't phone you and ask you simple things
To moan about Cohen or talk about the Valley
You're gone and you're never coming back
Hold a little tighter
If only you could have survived till you got to the hospital
Maybe not in a body bag
I hold onto the edge of the cliff and look at the time
4 AM
They phone again
"Just Let Us Know Your Safe Don't Do Anything Stupid, I Can't Lose You To"
Maybe one day when I can move along
4 AM forever
Brown
Me going to college is out of the window now
I want to but I can't leave Seth or Ryan now
Maybe one day, f I survive this I will go
They on the beach I can hear them calling for me
Maybe someday when you can hear this song
If I didn't go back with them
Stay here look a the stars and know you're the brightest one of all
Then maybe it will be like when your were alive
But I would be alone, Your be a sprit
What if I was one too?
You won't let it slip away
I Couldn't allow that to happen
Mentally Kick myself for thinking that
I know that's what's you would do
They came by the cliffs
Calling My name, please let it just be you and me
4 AM forever
And I'd wish the sun would never come
It's getting lighter
They will see me, talk me down I no they will
But no matter what you're still gone and I can't handle it
My phone rings again
They don't realize I can see them
It's 4 AM and you are gone
I know if you weren't dead you would be down there to
Would I even be up here after what happened to Johnny, he fell from here
Hope is looking after you up there
I just wish I could make the pain stop
I hope you know you're letting go
Why didn't you fight
Leave me all alone
That's why I'm like this
IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE GONE
You let the light take you
Why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you (to you)
It's 4 AM and I'm alone
I Scream as the tears come, Chuck my phone of the cliff to stop it ringing
They look at it
They realize I'm up here
They Call out to Me
Why don't you listen when I try to make it through (to you)
I Stand up and try to steady myself
"Oh My God" It's a faint whisper I hear
I see Ryan start to climb up here
"Summer come down please I Love You" How come I can listen to Seth when you cant here me try to get through to you.
Goodbye, goodbye
Why did you leave me
Look how vulnerable I am now just because of this
Look at the rivers of tears I have cried
Look at everybody's faces
Why did you go
Goodbye, you never know
You can never have the life you deserve
Have all the happiness that you deserve
You graduated didn't you?
You thought that would never happen
Hold a little tighter
My footing slips and rocks fall to the ground beneath I stay in place
I try to hold on a little tighter
Just like you should of
Maybe, Just maybe you were tired of fighting
If only you would have thought one last time
Why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you (to you)
"Summer" I Turn around to see Ryan hurt and scared he might lose somebody else
"Grab my hand Summer Please Marissa Wouldn't Want This" That's the first time he's said your name or referenced you in anyway
This is what happens when you lose somebody
We try all the means to get them back but each try is more desperate
Why don't you listen when I try to make it through (to you)
"I Can't Live Without Her Ryan" I Didn't want to speak but I turned to the stars and he brightest one is gone, there all dull now
More rocks crumble from the edge
"Summer Please, We Will Get Through This!" He's Desperate I look at his outreached hand
He's Trying to get through to me, your beside me holding my hand Marissa I can feel you.
Goodbye, goodbye
I Take his hand and he pulls me away from the edge
He hugs me, for once I want his hug because he reminds me of you
Ryan's phone goes its Seth
"She's Fine" I'm Far from it but he means physically
Goodbye, you never know
The brightest star is back again
It's smiling that m okay, I know its you
For that I am grateful that you saved my life
Hold a little tighter
He takes me back down to the beach
Where Cohen stands
Kirsten and Sandy drive me home
Theres a place I can go to feel you looking down on us
It's Wherever the brightest star is
4 AM forever...
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