Series Title:The Bryan Adams Series
Title: Into The Fire – Story 22
Author: ANNE (the insane one)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Gil's jealous.
Disclaimer: Characters et al belong to the people that make CSI. "Into the Fire" belongs to Bryan Adams.
Gil's POV
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Life - thin as a thread
Sometimes you're lucky
Sometimes you're better off dead
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I down another screwdriver, and ignore the burning in my throat.
She's with him again.
Tonight was the first night she actually blew me off for him. We were supposed to go out for dinner…but she said she had something come up last minute.
She didn't tell me what…but I'm a scientist. I can make a calculated guess.
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Your first breath is taken and in to the world you are cast
You long for tomorrow while living each day as your last
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I hate this. I'm not a jealous man. I've never wanted what someone else has.
But I want her. With all my being.
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Well I know what your heart desires
But you can't take it with you
Into the fire
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I hate that other people can make her happier than I can. I hate that I can't give her everything she wants, or deserves.
I thought I could, and maybe that's what hurts so much. It hurts that she'd rather be with the District Engineer, who is so arrogant he could give Ecklie a run for his money, than me.
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Now you've done all you can
Your life's at the crossroads
You watch as it slips through your hands
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I hate that the closeness we had is slipping slowly away from my grasp. We used to tell each other everything.
I had to find out second-hand that Eddie was trying to take Lindsey away from her. I had to find out second-hand about the District Engineer.
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So stand on the mountain and shout in vain at the sky
But nobody hears you - the words only echo inside
Oh shelter the flame - it may expire
Risin' up from the ashes
Into the fire
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I'm losing control over something in my life that needs control. Sometimes I just need to know Cath is there. When I walk down the corridor of the lab, if I can smell her unique scent in the air, I know it's going to be a good shift.
Because Catherine's there. Catherine keeps me under control. Catherine takes care of me.
Catherine helps me function.
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Just hold on to your life down to the wire
Oh out from the dragon's jaws
Into the fire
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I suppose I'm lucky to have her working with me at least. I know Ecklie would sell various major organs to have Catherine on his team.
But I fought for her.
I fought for her to be on my team, and that's where she'll stay.
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There's a moment in every man's life
When he must decide what is wrong and what's right
You could wait for your dreams to come true
But time has no mercy
Time won't stand still for you
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I sit my glass on the table beside me and unsteadily make my way towards bed, shedding clothes along the way.
Some part of me inside aches to think that Catherine may be doing exactly the same thing, but for an entirely different reason. I banish the thought and flop down face-first on my bed.
Maybe one day she'll see.
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Well I know what your heart desires
Crawlin' out from the wreckage
Into the fire
Here I go...into the fire
I know...what your heart desires
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FINIS