How did it end up this way?
How come I didn't see it?
Why me?
I have always been weak in both body and mind,
yet you still asked me to be yours.
You, the strongest of the strong.
A man with both power and wealth of station.
A fighter.
A protector.
You asked for my hand and I gave it willingly.
It didn't matter that it was a marriage for peace between enemy's.
All that mattered was that for the first time in my life, I felt loved.
I felt like I mattered.
I finally had someone who would not reject me.
You smiled at me that day, when our lives became one.
You smiled and vowed you love eternal.
I remember the day you brought me to your home.
How the desert sands glimmered in scarlet and gold.
And how the sun rose to shine it's light on my life started anew.
You told me you loved me in ways other than words.
You became my whole world.
I was nothing without you.
I am nothing without you.
I had five years of complete bliss.
And I lived my life with the soul purpose of making you happy.
Shivering now, as the cold water soak my clothes,
my dark hair flowing in front of me obscuring my view,
I realize you never loved me at all.
You only loved how I made you feel.
It was the little things that gave you away.
How you smiled when I told you I loved you.
How you moaned when I screamed your name in the throws of passion.
How you never refused my need to be close.
To touch you.
I saw you.
I looked up to you.
And that was all you really wanted.
I would do horrible things just to prove my love to you.
Even now, as I look at the surface,
your hair glowing read in the setting sun,
I can see you smiling down at me.
But now, for the first time, you look truly happy.
Why didn't you tell me?
I suffered for so long, not knowing what to do.
And the answer was this all along.
You won't reach for me.
I know now, that my life means little to you.
It was only the feeling.
Life means nothing, it's only the feeling.
To be loved.
As the bubble of my last breath slowly makes my hair dance,
like the anemones of the great oceans,
then hovers towards you,
I see you speak those three words.
The words you loved so much,
when I told them to you.
But this time, you speak the truth.
You mean them.
They are spoken directly from your heart.
My vision grows darker and my pulse is soon no more.
I smile sadly.
In the end, you got what you wanted.
Here, in this deep dark well,
slowly sinking towards oblivion,
you have found someone to truly look up to you.
And weeks from now,
when a stone is raised in my memory,
I will forever be looking up at you.
***
I do not own the characters nor do I own the song this story is based on.
