Everything about the small apartment was dark today. Not even the glow of a computer screen light the place up. Tim wasn't really in the mood to play any games anyway, he just barely had the energy to get out of bed, and his grumbling stomach suggested he eat something, but he couldn't. The team wouldn't understand, they had probably already forgotten, but he could never forget. Whenever he started to he would close his eyes and the flashbacks would start. He was brought out of his memories by a knock on the door. Even though every fibre in his body was saying not to answer, something deep down told him he should. He went to the door and opened it a bit, somewhat surprised at who was on the other side.

Ziva smiled a bit when Tim opened the door. "Hey McGee, I noticed you were not at work, so was wondering if you were alright." Ziva said to her friend, getting even more concerned now. He didn't look like his normal happy go lucky self. She hadn't seen him like this since... then a thought crossed her mind. For the past three years, this made it four, Tim had always called in sick on the same day. That was what peaked her interest. It was four years ago today that he had shot an undercover cop. She had completely forgotten until now.

"I'm fine" Tim muttered, knowing he probably didn't sound very convincing "Thanks for your concern." With that he went to shut the door, only to find the woman's foot stopping it from closing all the way. She certainly was persistent. "I'm sorry Ziva, but I'm not in the mood for entertaining guests right now." Tim said softly. He had been told a million times by Gibbs that he had done the right thing, but it didn't help the pain go away.

Ziva stepped inside the dark apartment, closing the door behind her. She wasn't usually one to invite herself in, she left that to Tony, but she could see her friend was in need. "Then how about being entertained? There is a whole wide world out there, McGee and it will pass you by if you let it" Ziva said as she felt her way across the room and opened the blind a little bit to let some of the evening sun in. She knew he probably didn't appreciate it, he had killed far fewer people than she had, but she was going to get him out of his slump if it was the last thing she did.

Tim winced at the sunlight. He had been sitting in the dark for so long today it took a minute for his eyes to adjust to the sunlight, even if it was only a little bit. He appreciated what his friend was trying to do, but he figured she didn't understand. "I know, but there are just some days you need some alone time, you know? Time to reflect." Tim said, hoping that she was going to get the hint and leave him to wallow in this bed of guilt he had made for himself.

Ziva frowned, she definitely wasn't getting through to him. She did understand what it was like to need time alone though, so she nodded at that part. "Those days do happen every once in a while. And it is annoying when you have a friend like Tony inviting himself in and refusing to take a hint" She said as she sat on the couch and put her feet up on the coffee table. She figured she was going to be here for a while, so might as well get comfortable.

Tim blinked a bit when Ziva didn't take the hint and leave. He knew she was trying to be a good friend, but that wasn't what he wanted right now. Maybe he could go back to his thoughts of the man he shot and his family while Ziva was there and she wouldn't bother him. He slumped in front of the couch again and closed his eyes to try and go back to his former state of mind.

Ziva tilted her head and watched her friend. This wasn't the Tim she knew. Her Tim was always joking with Tony or discussing some new gadget with Abby. She leaned down close to her friend. "You should not let it bother you so much. Makuna Hatata as they say, yes?" Ziva asked, she had picked the saying up from a children's movie once.

Tim was jolted back to reality by the much closer now voice. He didn't know how much of this he could handle. "You have NO IDEA what I'm going through! You have killed more people than I would care to think of without batting an eye. I'm not like you, I am more the type to think then shoot. That is the only time I ever didn't and look what happened!" Tim snapped at his friend. Immediately he started regretting it.

Ziva looked at her friend in shock. How dare he say that she didn't know what he was going through? And here she was only wanting to help. "Is that what you REALLY think Tim? That I am a robot and don't feel anything for those I kill? I killed my brother Tim, MY BROTHER! I can see how much I am not wanted here..." Ziva said and she stood up, about ready to walk out the door.

Tim felt instantly guilty about saying that to his friend. He didn't even know she killed Ari, he always figured Gibbs had. Sure showed how in the loop he was with the team. Maybe Tony didn't know either though. The man got up and took his friend by the arm. "Look, I'm sorry, How about I order us a pizza and we can talk about it?" Tim offered with a smile. "And then, as you said Hakuna Matata."