Lucy lay in bed on one elbow, looking at her sleeping boyfriend, Cole. He was so beautiful... They had been dating two months now, and she was feeling... really good about their relationship. Good enough she was considering inviting him to the weekly dinner she had to have with her brother and sister since moving to town. Which... made her wonder if she had a bit of masochist in her, and wanted to sabotage herself... Not that she didn't love Christine and Matthew, or little Richie, cause she did, just... didn't want to scare him off...

"You up for round three, or you waiting for me to go get you coffee?" Cole asked, not opening his eyes.

Lucy flushed. "No, I... have a... there's something I need to ask you about..." she said hesitantly.

Cole sat straight up, looking at her worriedly. "You're knocked up, aren't you?"

Lucy rolled her eyes. "No, Cole. I was just... you know how I go see my brother and sister on Wednesdays?"

Cole nodded.

"Well... maybe you'd like to come with me tonight?"

Cole smiled widely. "For reals? You wanna introduce me to your fam?"

Lucy nodded. "Well, yeah..."

"Well, yeah, course I do..." Cole grinned, pulling her into a passionate kiss.

"Wow... so... you're happy about this?"

Cole nodded.

Lucy smiled. "And, for that... you get something extra..."

"Oh, hells yeah..." Cole grinned, pulling the covers back over their heads...


Meanwhile, Christine was sitting in the kitchen with Matthew and Barb when the phone rang.

"No, Matthew, let the machine get that." Christine ordered when he went to get up.

Matthew raised his eyebrows at her quizzically.

"This guy is stalking me, okay?"

"Is he, Christine?" Barb asked pointedly.

"You don't know, he might be." Christine said defensively. "I'm sexy enough to be stalked, aren't I Matthew?"

"Again... not the question you ask your little brother..." Matthew reminded her, not for the first time.

"Oh, whatever- big girl." she scoffed.

But, then, the answering machine picked up, and instead of hearing someone leave a message, they heard heavy breathing and moaning.

"Aha! See? A pervert!" she said happily, looking cockily at Barb.

"Wait, Christine... that sounds like two people..." Barb said, pausing.

Matthew looked at the machine with a mixture of disgust and intrigue.

"Bet it's Richard- idiot keeps ass dialing all the time." Christine said.

"Oh... oh, shit ... like that..." the male voice said.

"No... not Richard..." Matthew said, rubbing his forehead.

And, then a throaty moan came from the female voice.

Christine and Barb nudged each-other, clearly getting a kick out of this.

"We should cut this off- it's obviously a misdial that some unfortunate person made when they were... rolling around unknowingly over their cellphone..." Matthew said a bit uncomfortably.

"Well, that's their problem- I'm gettin' popcorn." Barb pronounced, reaching into the pantry for a bag of the pre-popped stuff.

"Man... they must be young... the stamina... I used to have stamina like that..." Christine said wistfully.

"Oh, Cole... faster, faster..." the female voice insisted.

"Why does her voice sound familiar?" Christine asked, pausing.

"I don't know- do you have a lot of slutty friends?" Barb asked.

"No, she's right... that voice sounds familiar..." Matthew nodded.

Suddenly, the heavy breathing and the sounds were over, and there was only silence... and then muted talking.

"God, Luce... you are so beautiful..." the male voice said, and then the answering machine ran out of minutes...

Christine choked on the popcorn in her mouth, and Barb patted her on the back.

"Were we just listening to our little sister getting lucky?" Christine asked, pulling a face.

"Hey, she's your sister- y'all are the perverts, not me." Barb said, holding her hands up.

Matthew pinched the bridge of his nose. "She's coming to dinner tonight, isn't she?"

"Oh, yeah, this is great- really great!" Christine said, suddenly happy.

"What? How is this great?" Matthew demanded. "How? We just heard our 22 year old sister having sex! And have it on audio tape!"

"I know! Mom's goody-goody little virgin isn't so pure after all! Ha! She's as depraved as the rest of us!" Christine said cockily. "That's... awesome... that's almost better than wine... well, almost, wine is pretty damn good..."


Lucy stood nervously with Cole on Christine's dimly lit front porch.

"Babe? You okay?" Cole asked with a light frown.

"Yes, just... I really, really... I love you, and I don't want you to run screaming into the night when you meet my insane family?"

Cole grinned, taking her hands into his. "Babe... trust me... bet my family is way nuttier."

"Not possible." Lucy said quietly.

"My Moms comes from a family of bounty hunters. She's the only girl out of like, nine kids, which is probably the only reason she's not a bounty hunter too. My Dad's side... buncha judgmental stuffed shirt... pompous..."

"Okay, yeah, makes me feel a little better. " Lucy nodded.

Cole grinned, kissing her temple. "Good."

Lucy rang the bell, and Richard answered the door.

"Richard?"

"Oh, hey, Lucy." Richard said, moving aside for them to come in. "I'm just picking up Richie." he said.

"Oh. Cole, this is Richard, my sister's ex-husband."

"Yo."

"Boyfriend, huh? Niiicee..." he said, and Cole knit his brows a bit, a little creeped out.

Richard, however, didn't notice and went out back to the pattio help Richie with his backpack.

At this time, Christine and Matthew came in with Barb, carrying takeout bags.

"Oh, you're early! I was going to put them in dishes and make it look like I cooked... and, you brought a fella..." she said, grinning.

"Yes... and he's mine, so, stop it." Lucy blurted.

"Lemme guess- Cole, right?" Barb grinned at him.

"Yeah..." Cole nodded, looking at the three of them a bit nervous now.

Barb elbowed Christine and stage whispered, "Damn, he's pretty enough to turn anyone nympho."

"I know, right?" Christine whispered back.

Matthew ran a hand over his face.

Lucy fidgeted. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Matthew said quickly. "Nothing at all... we're going to stuff food in our mouths so that we do not speak at all."

"O-kay..."

"Oh, grow up, Mathew!" Christine chuckled. "If she's old enough to ass-dial when she's doin' it, she's old enough to know she did that."

Lucy turned bright red, dropping her head to Cole's shoulder. Cole looked absolutely petrified.

"Oh, relax..."Christine said, reaching out and patting his shoulder. "We're happy for Luce- it's about time she loosened up like the rest of us- my God, you are deceptively muscled under that shirt..."

Barb grabbed her hands off of his arm. "Okay, Christine, Lucy's boy..."

"Right... sorry." Christine said, flashing an embarrassed smile.

"That's kay..." Cole said, an arm around Lucy's waist now.

Lucy, meanwhile, hadn't lifted her head from his chest.

"So, how long did you guys know each-other before you were doin' it?" Christine blurted.

"Christine!" Matthew warned in a whisper.

"What? Just askin'... we're all adults here..."

"Two hours." Cole blurted out.

"Good God, she's on her way to mini-you..." Matthew said, looking at Christine.

Lucy's head shot up. "We may have started ass-backwards, but we're in a real relationship, okay? I love him and- why are you laughing?"

"You said 'ass-backwards'..." Christine explained.

Lucy dropped her head to her hands.

"That's right- I totally love her. And, that's sayin' somethin', cause we've been together two months, and I've never been with a chick for more than a weekend before. Hell, I've never done stuff with a chick that wasn't... naked before... But, Lucy's special. She's... everything.

"Awwww..." the three of them said.

Lucy threw her arms around his neck. "You're so sweet..."

"I mean it, Shorty... you're... I'd marry you if you'd have me."

"I'd have you!" Barb, Christine and Matthew blurted out, then blushed.

"That didn't... I'm not gay... Just got caught in the moment..." he wheezed.

Christine patted his shoulder.

"Oh, Cole... I'd love to marry you..."

Cole grinned, pulling her into a kiss. "Awesome..."

Christine cleared her throat, and they backed up slightly, flushing. "So... you make me made of honor, Barb and I will take you to Vegas for your bachlorette party."

"Bachlorette party?" Cole asked, looking concerned.

"Hey, man gets one, the girl gets one, only fair." Christine said, and Cole nodded. "But, if we don't come back before three days are up, you might wanna call somebody..." she said, leading Lucy towards the kitchen with Barb.

Matthew looked at Cole. "Welcome to the family... you'll be making that face alot..."