I don't own anything apart from a whopping great student loan!

So please read up and review.

(Rated for saucy thoughts and possible future lemons... but that's really up to you guys)

Enjoy:

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Rachel's POV

It was the look on his face, the complete elation of being good, really good at something, that's what really made my heart melt. I mean, I'm not saying that that was the moment I knew Finn and I were meant to be together, because I've known that for some time now. But as my fingers whizzed up and down the scales and he was hitting every note, I was proud as punch. I see him looking at me you know, when I sing, and yesterday in celibacy club when I had my little outburst. I didn't mean to go there and show myself up, I never do really, I just don't see why my opinion is less important just because I'm the outsider or the minority. I see Finn looking at me because, the majority of the time I'm looking at him right back.

"Can we take a break? Singing makes me kinda hungry" Finn's voice was a little raw from practise, it gave him an edgy, gruffness to his usually silky tones, it was exciting. I directed him down to the picnic I had prepared. See, contrary to what you might think, this was not all some sort of lucid plan. I have been properly brought up to always be prepared and hospitable and pre-empting that Finn would want some sort of refreshment whilst rehearsing I thought it only proper to come equipped with a comfortable seating area and yummy snacks!

I wanted to know why he's asked me to be here with him this afternoon. I wasn't quite sure how to be around him after what I'd said. It's true though girls want sex just as much as guys, we just don't show it. Maybe this is why we don't tell, this akwardness, the elephant iin the room. Maybe now he knows that I want to have sex he doesn't like me because he thinks I just give it up to anyone! Or maybe that's the only reason he does like me because he thinks I'll give it up to him, now!

"Why did you ask me to help you?" Doing my best to be subtle.

"Because you're cool Rachel" My heart skipped a beat. He thinks I'm 'cool'. "I mean at first I thought you were kinda insane" This is what I dreaded, he carried on talking about how good he thought my singing was and mentioned my performance at the celibacy club, but my mind was screaming at me. I knew it, that stupid club, and then the dance routine in the assembly. My train of thought drifted a little as I remembered the feel of Finn between my thighs, my hands roaming up his chest, his muscles rippling beneath his shirt...

"Drink? They're virgin Cosmos" Maintaining my feigned nonchalance I pored us both a cup and mirroring eachother we each took a self conscience sip.

Before I knew it he reached over to wipe the Cosmo off of my lip, his thumb touching, gently caressing my skin, it tingled, electrifying like no other feeling I'd ever had. There was a moment of strained intensity. The electricity between us was unimaginable.

"You know, you can kiss me if you want to," the words came out before I'd even considered them. I'm not usually one for second guessing myself, but in this instance I think I would have. My brain raced as the seconds passed like minutes. God say something, yes? no? His face is so pained, so, torn. Why am I doing this to him, I like him so much but I can't come between a boy and his girlfriend can I?

Slowly, excruciatingly so, he says, "I want to". My heart beat quick in my chest, hard against my ribs. He moved towards me. Our bodies were pressing against each other, his strong hands moved around and held me, guiding me down on the chequered picnic blanket. He kissed me, gently at first, looking deep into my eyes, and then again with more will. His soft lips on mine filled me with a passion I'd never felt before, not like the kind I get when I hear a song that's truly inspiring. A more fiery kind of passion, the kind that made me want to run my hands all over his body, the kind that made me ache for him to touch me too. It was terrifying but wonderful at the same time. His hand moved lower, tenderly stroking the line down my side to my waist, my hips.

He pulled away. No! It was too soon, I felt cruelly robbed. A sound, a guttural primitive noise came from his throat. "Uh oh" he groaned.

"What!? Finn?" He jumped up mumbling apologies and left me on the auditorium stage alone with nothing but my shame and humiliation to keep me company.

On later analysis of that day I've come to terms with the fact that it was my fault. I pushed him, I seduced him unknowingly with my feminine whiles. I wanted him so much, like some sort of unwilling siren I called him to me. But of course he saw through it. He's in love with someone else. I know what happened in there was real, he has feelings for me too. But I'm just a freak in the glee club and Quinn, well she's Quinn Fabray. Why would anyone give that up for someone like me?

I am Rachel Berry. I do not need to become hung up on some guy, especially one who has a girlfriend. And one who only really likes me because due to recent events has come to the assumption that I am easy! No I am Rachel Berry and I have morals and standards. As long as Finn Hudson has a girlfriend then I will not pursue him any more. If he can't commit to me 100% then outside of glee club he does not exist to me!

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Updates will be up soon. Reviews please. Tell me what you like, don't like, what you'd love to see and hate to see. I'll do my best. Thank you so much reading. And I absolutely promise an update soon!