Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, and I don't own the song by Avril Lavigne.

First ByaRuki fic, don't like, don't read.

Collection of oneshots of songs that remind me of them. Amount of chapters not decided upon yet.

This isn't following any particular time line, so choose for yourself when it happened.

Rukia wandered the corridors of the Kuchiki Mansion, wishing people would leave her alone. She'd refused proposals from Renji and Ichigo, and so they'd taken to ignoring her. Even worse, her Nii – sama was treating her the same as always. No one was talking to her, they all ignored her. All because of one little mistake:

She'd swore at an Elder during a meeting with every single Captain and Lieutenant.

Flashback:

"So, it's settled then. Rukia Kuchiki has a month to marry someone within the Soul Society. Captain, or Lieutenant." A hammer was banged on a table, creating a dent within the mahogany table.

Rukia stood up. "No! That's it! I'm sick and tired of people telling me how to run my life. Just fuck off and leave me alone. I don't want to marry, I don't want to create an heir, and I sure as hell didn't want the ENTRIETY of Nobles, Captains, and Lieutenants to know either! Just leave me alone! Fuck off, ALL of you!"

Everyone had gaped at her, stunned beyond words. Kuchiki's just didn't lose control. Not now, not ever.

Byakuya had stood up, his normally emotionless face containing fire within his eyes.

"That's enough. Go home, we'll talk about this later."

As she had ran out of the room, she'd heard him say: "She may not be a Kuchiki very longer, and may find herself back in the 78th District for her unacceptable behaviour. My apologies, I did not – would not – expect that of her."

Murmurs had gone up around the room, and Rukia had run off, tears streaming down her face.

Ichigo and Renji had done her best to cheer her up, each one proposing to her, but she'd pretty much repeated herself to them.

End of flashback

Now, everyone was ignoring her, and Byakuya now completely ignored her existence. Like always. Byakuya Kuchiki had never shown a single ounce of kindness to her, apart from when he'd taken wounds for her, when fighting a hollow. But, even then, he'd still not spoken to her. Only put her down.

She'd been listening to a song from the Human World, called Why, by Avril Lavigne. It was in her head, and Rukia found herself back in her room, singing softly, with tears pouring down her face, and her normally melodious voice cracking with emotion.

"Why... do you always do this to me?

Why... couldn't you just see it through me?

How come... you act like this,

like you just don't care at all..."

She'd wanted Byakuya to find the hidden meaning behind her words, to help her in everything she had done that day. But no.

"Do you expect me to believe... I was the only one to fall? I could feel, I could feel you near me, even though you're far away.

I could feel, I could feel you, baby, why?"

Yes. She needed Byakuya. Now, more than ever.

"It's not supposed to feel this way,

I need you, I need you,

More and more each day"

She needed Byakuya to tell her it was okay. That she'd done good standing up for herself, like she'd always been told to do. But he'd acted like it was outrageous behaviour, and had threatened to kick her out. Standing up for yourself wasn't supposed to feel like this.

"I need you, I need you, I need you

Tell me... are you and me still together?

Tell me... do we think we could last forever?

Tell me... why."

That bit didn't necessarily apply, but it seemed to fit her.

"Hey, listen to what we're not saying

Let's play... a different game than what we're playing.

Try, to look at me, and really see my heart"

He was her brother, her Nii – sama, and yet he'd practically disowned her. He never saw her, he always saw Hisana, her older sister, and hated Rukia for it.

"Do you expect me to believe, I'm gonna let us fall apart?

I could feel, I could feel you near me,

even though you're far away,

I could feel, I could feel you, baby, why?

It's not supposed to feel this way

I need you, I need you,

More and more each day.

It's not supposed to hurt this way."

Standing up for yourself normally meant feeling victorious, not horrible and like a criminal. People weren't meant to disown you, or your best friends ignore you. Like they'd never known you. Rukia could act happy, but she was quite the opposite.

She carried on singing, feeling dead all the time.

"I need you, I need you, I need you,

Tell me, are you and me still together?

Tell me, do you think we could last forever?

Tell me, why."

Hugging herself, Rukia felt so dead, so lifeless... but she still sung.

"So go and think about whatever you need to think about,

Go ahead and dream about whatever you need to dream about,

And come back to me when you know just how you feel,

you feel..."

They'd never come back to her. She'd dishonoured the family, and was going to get kicked out of the Kuchiki family, away from everything she'd ever known.

"I could feel, I could feel you near me,

Even though you're far away,

I could feel, I could feel you, baby, why?"

Even though everyone hated her now, she felt closer to them for some unexplainable reason.

"It's not supposed to hurt this way

I need you, I need you.

More and more each day"

Byakuya, Renji, Ichigo, Ukitake, Unohana. She needed them all.

"It's not supposed to hurt this way,

I need you, I need you, I need you

Tell me"

Standing up for yourself was never meant to hurt, never meant to eat you from the inside out. It was never meant to kill you.

It was meant to feel victorious.

So why isn't she feeling like that?

"It's not supposed to hurt this way

I need you, I need you,

More and more each day

It's not supposed to hurt this way

I need you, I need you

Tell me, are you and me still together?

Tell me, do we think we could last forever?

Tell me, why?"

As she finished singing, she reached for a photo of Nii – sama, and a gun.

"Byakuya, I love you."

With a scream, she shot herself, images of her secret beloved filling her mind.

The next day, Byakuya found Rukia's body, clutching his photo.

He'd been intending to tell her he was sorry, and that he loved her. But he never got the chance to. Using that same gun, he too, took his life.

They were buried together, side by side.

Whew... I cried writing this.

Please review!

:)