I do not own This Lullaby.
"'Happiness is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. Happy Birthday.' Awesome! Get that one for your friend's birthday! I bet she'll just love it!" Dexter said loudly, eyes widening in disbelief at the birthday card he thought was the best ever.
I laughed. Dexter was right; Lissa would love that. "Alright, Dexter. Put that in the cart. We have to go get some other items now," I told him.
He pouted. "Come on, Remy! You know you love looking at the funny cards. I just want to look a little more," he whined.
I laughed at my boyfriend. Sometimes I wondered how old he thought he was in a store. Probably 9, as he dragged me around the toy section then the candy section last week.
"No," I said, as his pout got more defined. It didn't work on me anymore, though. I was immune to his pout, as was pretty much everyone else.
Usually, I could put up with his childish behavior longer than this, but today I was really nervous. In two days it would be Lissa's birthday, and I haven't found her a card or present yet.
"Dexter. Come on. I need to find her a gift," I said in a very stern voice.
He seemed to be at a loss. He glanced at the cards with a wistful look, then at me with my scornful look on my face. He pouted again, then seemed to realize it would get him no where.
He sighed, then relented. "Fine," he said, "But you owe me, Miss Remy."
I just gave him a look. He could be so goofy at times.
I glanced through the bookshelves at Walmart. They usually had some relatively good books.
Vampire Diaries?Nope. Vampire Academy? No. Twilight? Crap, no. What is it with all these vampire books? I'm not saying they're not good books, but seriously? (Because I actually liked Vampire Academy.)
Frustrated, I tried to think about the kinds of books Lissa mentioned to me. And while I think, guess what I realized? Dexter's not beside me anymore. I whipped around quickly. I just zoned out for two seconds, I told myself. He couldn't of gotten far. I looked around the few isles that surrounded the book isle. He wasn't in any of them.
Well, I thought, if he wants to go off on his own he can. I'm not going to stop him. I shrugged and continued my search for a good book.
Hmm, this looks good, I thought as I studied the cover of Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks. Lissa had told me she had read all of his other books, and I didn't think she knew of him writing another one, so… I'll get her this.
I walked toward the checkout to buy the book. I stopped when I heard a familiar voice saying, "NO! Not the voices AGAIN!"
Dexter.
Oh, man. Maybe I shouldn't of left him by himself in Walmart.
I ran to where I heard his voice, but when I got there I really wanted to turn back.
Dexter, being his goofy and annoying self, was fake-crying on the floor in front of the kid's toy section, scaring the children and adults. Some of the mothers were covering their kid's eyes, and some of the fathers were dragging their kids out of the section.
Oh Dexter was going to get it later. He probably scarred all of those poor little kids for life.
"Dexter!" I screamed. He immediately jumped to his feet and turned to me with guilty expression.
"Remy," he said nervously. Then he saw how I was fuming at him and started yelling, "It wasn't my fault, I swear! It was that kid! We were having a contest! He thought he could beat in being the funniest!" He pointed to a little kid smirking in the corner.
"I win!" said the little kid, "Your icky girlfriend interrupted you! So I win!" Then, the little kid started dancing down the isle.
Then a lady came running over screaming in a raspy voice at the little kid, "Geoffrey, what are you doing with the crazy person!" He immediately stopped dancing, and the lady grabbed his ear and dragged him off. "Don't talk to strangers," the lady said and then lowered her voice, "Remember what happened to Daddy?"
I turned back to Dexter with a disapproving look on my face. "It was the little kid's-," he started to say, but I cut him off.
"Dexter. That kid was seven years-old. You didn't have to go along with it," I said, then lowered my voice to an appalled whisper, "The kid was obviously not in his right mind. He called me icky. I am so not icky."
Dexter nodded in agreement. "You're totally not icky, Miss Remy."
I decided not to comment on the subject of what he had just done, but I was definitely going to bring it up later. When we were walking towards the check-out line, Dexter seemed to realize this. I knew, because his face turned up in fear when he glanced at me. I just smiled back. Not a perky smile, a smile that said, "You are so going die when we get home."
Dexter looked nervous the whole ride over to the Yellow House. He kept twitching and glancing at me, then sighed and looked at the dashboard. He should have been nervous. I was so not done talking about the Walmart incident.
I pulled into the driveway and jumped out of the car.
"Come on, Dexter," I called over my shoulder.
"Remy," he pleaded, running up next to me, "Don't kill me. Please."
"I'm not going to kill you, Dexter. I'm going to see if the guys want to help with my plan."
"Plan?" he asked, confused.
On the drive over, I decided not to torment him. I decided on something better. Something I had heard about on the internet. I figured Ted, Lucas, John Miller, and Dexter would all be up for it so I decided to get them in on my little plan at the Yellow House.
"Remy, why do you have your devious face on? It's kind of scaring me," Dexter said nervously.
I shushed him. "Are the guys home?" I asked him.
"Uh, yeah. Why?" He gazed at me uncertainly.
I ignored his question. "Do you know the list '15 things to do at Walmart'? I asked him.
"Yeah," he stated, then seemed to realize what I was planning on doing and grinned.
"I'm totally in, and the guys, they will be too. They love pranking people," he said as his is grin got wider and wider and I distantly thought his face was going to crack from smiling so wide.
I opened the door to the Yellow House and saw Ted, Lucas, and John Miller all sitting in the living room watching TV.
"Sup' Remy," Lucas said, smiling at me.
"Duh, the sky," I said, as if that was as obvious as 2 plus 2.
"Guys, Remy's got a plan," Dexter said excitedly, while jumping up and down in place.
John Miller turned towards me. "What plan?" He seemed to be excited too.
"Well, while Dexter and I were at Walmart, he decided to scar a few little kids," I said giggling at the sheepish look on his face, "And that made me think of the '15 Things to Do At Walmart' list. I thought we could all go to Walmart tomorrow, and wreck havoc."
"So, you're saying," Lucas clarified, "That you want us to go to Walmart to scare innocent people?" I nodded. "I am so in," he said, while grinning mischievously.
"Me, too," John Miller said bouncing in his seat. I turned towards Ted.
He looked conflicted. He was probably weighing on how this would end up disastrously, and I could think of a lot of ways. But in the end he nodded, with an enthusiastic, "Me, too."
We made a list of what to do when we got there, then set a time for when to meet at the Yellow House to go to Walmart.
As I was driving home, all I could think about was who we were going to make insane tomorrow. I grinned all the way home.
TO BE CONTINUED
pinklinlin
