Hello, it's Emily. I know almost certainly that this story will get A LOT of complaints because of what happens in the second chapter (not going to say it because I don't want to ruin anything). I was actually stuck during that time and finally decided what to do, despite how hard it was to write out. You have to know something about me, I am in love with tragedy (not saying all of my stories will be tragedies) and I try to go where no one else does so hopefully you guys like it, good luck!

Oh, and this story takes place in Eclipse during Jacob and Bella's kissing scene before the newborn fight.

My brain disconnected from my body, and I was kissing him back. Against all reason, my lips were moving with his in strange, confusing ways they'd never moved before — because I didn't have to be careful with Jacob, and he certainly wasn't being careful with me.

My fingers tightened in his hair, but I was pulling him closer now.

He was everywhere. The piercing sunlight turned my eyelids red, and the color fit, matched the heat. The heat was everywhere. I couldn't see or hear or feel anything that wasn't Jacob.

The tiny piece of my brain that retained sanity screamed questions at me.

Why wasn't I stopping this? Worse than that, why couldn't I find in myself even the desire to want to stop? What did it mean that I didn't want him to stop? That my hands clung to his shoulders, and liked that they were wide and strong? That his hands pulled me too tight against his body, and yet it was not tight enough for me? The questions were stupid, because I knew the answer: I'd been lying to myself.

Jacob was right. He'd been right all along. He was more than just my friend. That's why it was so impossible to tell him goodbye — because I was in love with him. Too. I loved him, much more than I should, much more than I had ever loved another person.

I suddenly realized I wanted him — wanted our life together — just as much as he wanted me, if not more. I was too blind to see it in the past, but it was so strong, how could I have missed it before? Perhaps the kiss made me realize that Jacob and I were soul mates because as we made contact in such an affectionate way, I figured out why, after all those special months together, I felt like I couldn't breathe without my personal sun near. He held me together, he loved me throughout it all and he would never leave me.

Jacob's lips were still before mine were. I opened my eyes and he was staring at me with wonder and elation.

"I have to leave," he whispered.

"No."

He smiled, pleased by my response. "I won't be long," he promised. "But one thing first . . ."

He bent to kiss me again, and there was no reason to resist. What would be the point?

This time was different. His hands were soft on my face and his warm lips were gentle, unexpectedly hesitant. It was brief, and very, very sweet.

His arms curled around me, and he hugged me securely while he whispered in my ear.

"That should have been our first kiss. Better late than never."

And with that, he turned around and walked away. I watched after him, anxiety filling up inside of me. I couldn't let him go.

"Jacob!" I called, the urgency in my voice made him stop.

"What, Bella?"

I looked down at the glistening snow, amazed how fast his mood changed, "I love you."

He snorted defensively, "I love you more."

Jacob turned again, but I ran into him, throwing myself hard into his large, warm body. He caught me before I fell.

"Don't leave, Jake, don't go!"

"Didn't we just go through this? Listen, Bells, I don't have time for another one of your melodramatic episodes."

He still didn't get it, there had to be a way to get through to him.

I looked at him sternly, "I love you, Jacob," I repeated, "I'm in love with you." I watched his expression brighten as the words clicked in his mind.

"More than the leech?"

Edward. He was listening, I was completely sure of it. By just answering this question, I would tear him to pieces. I would hurt him just as he hurt me. Did I still love Edward? I had to concentrate long and hard on that, even though only minutes ago, I could say certainly. Yes, I still did, but it was different now, I loved him just as I had loved Jacob, like Edward and Jake had switched places in my heart. As much as it would kill me to see Edward in pain, I had to be truthful.

Edward Cullen

I was flawlessly still, like a statue frozen by the cold, as I endured the wait. The solicitous, terrifying wait. It felt as if I was counting hours, as I suffered arduously for my beloved to reply. Would my Bella choose another?

"Yes," she whispered finally, answering both Jacob Black and I.

An oppressive mixture of betrayal, grief and dismay flowed through me like a belligerent river, but the blank expression remained on my face. How did this take me by surprise, for I had known all along what Bella felt for Jacob. It was visible in her eyes whenever she looked directly at him and I would find myself strongly intimidated every time I saw it. I was being ridiculously senseless, I had genuinely wanted this for Bella. A normal, happy human life. It wasn't quite as normal as I imagined, but Jacob was half beast, willing every time he turned into one, while I was, and would always remain, a monster for eternity. He was better for her than me, after all, he could give her what I could not. They could have a family one day, they could grow old together and they could love one another just as I love her.

Anything for my Isabella.

I rose and flashed back to the campsite. Jacob could here my arrival and grew excited. My pain was his pleasure.

I stood in front of her and feared all of my hidden emotions would pour out right in front of her. She was one of my biggest weaknesses.

"You have made your decision?" I inquired bleakly.

She nodded, showing the sorrow on her face that I couldn't.

"Then I will take Jacob's place in the fight, I suppose."

"Would you? Oh, I hope it won't be too difficult for you," Jacob teased.

Bella gave him a warning glance then returned her gaze to me and nodded once again. After a prolonged moment, I turned away from them.

"Wait," Bella spoke for the first time. Her low, even voice giving me a shred of hope. I felt the warmth of her skin as she stepped closer to me. When I viewed her, she held the engagement ring between her pointer finger and thumb. I opened up my clenched fist and squeezed it just as tightly after she dropped it in.

I raced through the trees, feeling the tension build up, but before I departed, I heard her mutter 'sorry'.