Love is Life
Disclaimer: I did my homework! Found out who the creators were! XD These characters belong to Koyasu Takehito, or, if you'd put it this way, Project Weiß. Now, now… aren't I a good boy? *Bobs head for pat-pat session*
Warning: Yaoi alert! If this isn't your cup of tea, please go back? I don't think flamers are welcome either. Sorry! And yes, this is your opportunity to hear it from a real Yaoi-boy. XD
Plot Cockroach: Ah, ha, ha! Actually, I couldn't imagine this happening to me… till it did. Matchmaking's fun when you're the matchmaker, but I think it's a little on the annoying side when you're the victim. Anyway, it was done with good intentions, and no, I'm not mad. Just amused. Well, just to let you know, my life's riddled with breakups. They ALWAYS seem to happen. But never mind that. I'll write this based on what I'm experiencing, and I have no idea how this is going to end. But I've got a problem with characters, and choosing them… hmm. So this'll be AU?
Characterization: *Frowns* This is tough. Let's see, my ex is strong, winsome, mature, sandy, limestone colored hair, and blue eyed and dear god, I think I'm still attached. He's not very serious, though. Let's give him the role of Schu, shall we? Next, his soul mate. We're friends, he's really, really nice, affectionate, and we're… friends. I know I sound jealous, but hey, if that's the guy you ex left you for, there simply has to be some form of envy left in you. Since he's such a nice guy, let's give him the role of… Omi. Heh. The date? The date's… hmm, solemn, stoic, giving, mature, and really attractive. He's not a redhead, but naturally his personality matches that of Ran's. So, Ran he'll be. Now, I've got a problem with me. I'm evil, psychotic, probably live way off the world on the PC writing fanfiction, in love with no one but the kitchen and laugh too much for my own darned good. Naturally, this fits NO ONE in the world, let alone this series. But then again, let's choose Ken. He's normal. I'd like to be normal, someday. Oh, well…
Note: I'll try my best to keep the characters in character. Don't worry. It's just the experience that counts. The next time you EVER match make anyone up; please think a little more of your 'victim's' feelings. Please?
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One: The Pink Envelope
It was a normal day, and like any other day, it was normal. Well, I don't think I was ever one to describe the beauties of life, one being so simple in both body and soul. But it was a normal day, and it was a good one. The sun did not shine too well through the wintry weather, but it was pretty much still good.
Great. I'm getting repetitive.
Right. Just to get things straight, I'm pretty much of a bachelor – lived a year or so, or more, perhaps, down this street. It's a great neighborhood, there's so much to life here, very peaceful, happy, beautiful, in fact, though words could never describe it. You'd go out, meet the elderly, the children, and run around with them in the summer sun, and when you could, simply allow them to bug you for ice cream. You'd feel happy when it rains too, where you can dance in it, and hump soccer balls till you get really muddy and laugh loud enough to wake the dead. When it snows, you could eat snowflakes and try to spot those that are identical.
Yes, life here's really interesting.
It was simple, for a simple guy like me. I never asked for more, never asked for less. In a way, it was good to actually live here for a while. Take one day at a time.
Then, there was also this time when I had a three-week romance. It was short, but it sure was there. Sure, it didn't last too long, but it felt pretty complete, if you ask me. I'm plain, after all. But I guess simplicity just wasn't for him. You know, he's kind of more of the type that went deeply into kink? Red hair. You know, people with red hair have this passion in bed.
He was an animal, I tell you.
It was enthralling, while it lasted. Sad to say, we broke up rather… violently. Actually, I never really expected it. But things happen. I don't blame him. In fact, I think I'm kind of happy for that guy. His true love came back, and all was well again. I don't hold any grudges. I don't. Seriously. You know, to tell you the truth, beneath all this stupid smiling and laughing I've done all the time in front of everyone, I'm a serious sucker for pain - a pure masochist. I adore the crushing, raw; hurting feeling that comes each time I'm dumped for someone else. Really.
I guess I'm not that simple, after all. But I'd like to be. And that's why I'm me.
I have a friend who thinks that being himself hurts god, and that's why he's him. It's ironic, because god loves us, and when a person doesn't love god, or himself, god still loved him. Maybe god was a masochist, like me, too. But then again, I do think that it's because god is perfect. He could love like that, while I couldn't. And that's why I'm me. It doesn't hurt god, and it doesn't hurt anybody.
That did NOT make any sense.
Anyway, back to where we were. My ex and I live in the same street, just some way away from each other. We could walk and visit each other whenever we wished, which we hardly did after the… um, separation. No, it's not a grudge or anything, we're still buddies, but let's just say it makes things easier when you keep a fair distance from each other. Sometimes I do drop in, though, for stuff, exchanging hellos, and playing with his younger brother. That boy is seriously so delved into anime that it rubbed off onto me, real hard. I don't mind. Nice little boy, really, he is. He's as charming as his elder brother. Oh, man! This sounds sick. How could I compare a kid like that to my ex? I mean; he's two years younger than me! Two years! That's shouta! He may act 30, but he's still a kid.
But I do like his family. We're practically friends, you see, but I believe I've already mentioned that. Even his mate is my friend. They're great people, I really admire them.
Ahem. Like I said, the day was normal. It was a good day. But surprises were here to come. You see; I have gotten used to this morning ritual called 'gathering mail from the mailbox'. And, performing it this particular normal morning, I had my normality twisted for that day. It was a letter. Yes, I know letters are normal, but this letter twisted my normality for the day. So much for normal letters. What are postmen thinking these days? There isn't even a stamp! Besides, it's pink.
It's a pink letter. A pink letter: for me?
God really hurt then.
Snerk.
Whoops, sorry. Heh. Anyway, it was a pink letter, and it was for me. So, naturally, I tore it open like any other normal people would. My eyes must've popped out because a kid was going by, and she said hello, and when she looked at me, she said, "Ken-niichan, why are your eyes popped out like that?" Therefore, I knew that my eyes had somewhat popped out.
"Oh, because there's a very un-normal letter I got. It's the kind of letters that un-normal people, and make their eyes pop out… I think," I had said. She didn't buy it though.
"Is this un-normal people a girl?' she had asked. "My brother's eyes will pop out too, when he gets an un-normal letter from his girlfriend."
"Um, no, I don't think it's a girl," I had spoken true. She looked at me.
"Then is it a boy?" she asked. "My brother's eyes pop out too, when he gets un-normal letters from his boyfriends."
I coughed. So much for a normal neighborhood. I then nodded, being too stupid to say anything else. She then looked at me with a scrutinizing gaze… uh, you know, the ones little girls would give you. "Do you like boys, then, niichan?"
"Um… yes, a little, I think."
"Oh, that's too bad," she had said. She dropped her cute little eyes to the ground. "I wanted to marry you when I grow up. But my big sister is right. She always says, the good ones are taken, and the cute ones are gay." I was stupefied. She lifted her little gaze up again, and tried to smile. "It is okay, niichan. I can marry Nagi-niichan then? You won't be jealous, right?"
"Uh…" I didn't want to break it to her then that Nagi-niichan liked boys too. "No, I won't?"
"SANKYUUUUU!" she said, hugging my legs before skipping off to tell her friends that she's going to drop Ken-niichan and marry Nagi-niichan instead. Oh, well. I've just been dumped again. At least it wasn't violent. I turned back to the letter. It was from my ex, Schuldig. That great guy who was like an animal in bed? He lives just down the street; remember? Anyway, it was from him, and his soul mate, Omi. They were inviting me over to dinner.
Whoa. They can cook?
But I decided that I'd give them a try, though. Maybe they took up classes. Classes are good. Not that I've taken any classes, but classes are good. If that were the case, then I'd go. So I walked up to their house and rang the doorbell. It was answered, and I told Nagi-niichan… uh, Nagi that I'd attend their party. He gave me the Eye.
"You'd better be careful, Ken," he whispered, looking suspiciously left and right. "No good can come of this. It might be a trap. I heard that ----"
"HELLO KEN!" Schuldig appeared suddenly, shoving his younger brother away from the door. Nagi 'blaghed' and went silent as he disappeared from view. I know, maybe is should've been more worried, but I wasn't, not then. I looked up at my ex. Did I tell you that he's gorgeous? He hadn't changed a bit. Still smooth, hot, and sexy.
"I'll come."
"GREAT!"
"Why are you talking so loudly?" I asked. There was a drone behind, like someone on the phone. I tried to peek in, but heck, he barred the entire doorway with his hands. He grinned.
"WELL, I JUST WANTED TO BE HEARD BETTER AGAINST ALL THIS D~I~N, YOU SEE. WE'RE UH, GETTING PREPARED IN HERE! MAKE SURE YOU COME THIS EVENING, DRESSED TO KILL."
"But isn't this just a quiet one for me to test your… cooking skills?"
"OH, THAT! WELL, MY KOI'S DOING IT AND I THINK IT RULES! I WANTED YOU TO TEST IT OUT TOO, YOU KNOW, YOU BEING THE EXPERT IN STOMACH SKILLS. WE'RE INVITING PEOPLE TOO, SO BE DRESSED TO KILL. WE'RE GETTING PREPARED! AREN'T WE?"
There was a shuffle from behind and Omi looked out, smiling. "Hey."
"Hello… So, what's up?"
"Oh, you know, the usual," he grinned. "We're getting prepared. The invitation went well." The two lovebirds grinned at each other and there was a silence. I think I felt a little jealous, but never mind that.
"Do you want me to help?"
"Help? No, no, you're our guest! You CAN'T help!" Schuldig was talking normally again. It really was the din, after all. He pushed me out. "Make sure you come, Ken. BYE-BYE!" The door slammed. Then it reopened, and he looked out again, grinning, his brows going up and down. I went red, I think. After all this time, his antics still worked. "You look great, Ken."
Oh, yeah. He always said that. I thanked him and went off. Hey, I was actually looking forward to their party. Well, time to do some other stuff before everything started.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
It was four. Blargh! How could I lose track of time like that? Anyway, I had half an hour. How hard was it to get dressed to kill in half an hour? But I dressed to kill anyway. Because if I didn't kill anyone; Schuldig would kill me. To be frank with you, my dress code to kill involved ordinariness. His dress code to kill involved wearing latex. See the resemblance? No? That's the point.
That done, I skipped over to theirs. As I passed, WHOA! There was a Mercedes parked out there, and it shone with fervor. Ever seen a car that shone with fervor? This one did. Ah, let's forget that. I rang the bell and held up a gift of cake. They didn't want help, but it's custom to bring gifts, anyway. The door swung open, and Schuldig looked out. He grinned sexily. "Looking good."
"Thank you! You look wonderful yourself." It was very true. And I was also shocked that he'd take my dress code to kill so well. I handed the cake to him. And he took that too, with a very large grin.
"Just great! A need to impress! Ah!" and we slunk in, him dragging me arm in arm. That was when we first met.
He was a redhead, and a real good-looking one at that. Eye catching, in fact. My flamboyant ex swung us to meet him. We stared at each other for some time. A thing clicked. We've been suckered into a dating game! Schuldig was grinning hard now – I think he thought that we had fallen in love suddenly; with those electric sparks in our eyes and everything. He coughed impossibly loudly. "Ran, this is my uh, good friend, Ken. And Ken, this is Ran, a good friend of mine, too."
Yeah. It's so obvious that he had many good friends. But I think the uh, before my name signaled for more than good friend. I smirked. This was worth it. We shook hands, exchanging smiles. My 'good friend' seemed to nod in approval. He must have thought that we felt some sort of jolt of electricity in our bodies as our hands touched. I decided to play his game of cards. Held on a little longer than needed, then I sneaked a glance at him. His eyes glinted. Aha! AHA! So THAT was his ploy. He looked at us and then coughed. "I need to see to stuff in the kitchen. See you around! Take a seat and get comfy!"
He disappeared. There was soft laughter in the kitchen. Ran sighed, sitting down. We looked at each other.
"Sorry," I couldn't help but apologize. "I think he felt bad about before."
"Before?" the redhead looked a bit… hmm, I don't know. Maybe surprised. But it was mild.
"We used to go out together."
"Oh." Then we said nothing for some time. Then we started to rattle on stuff on normality. For example, we discussed Schuldig's past, present and future. We didn't get into out personal stuff. And he listened more than he spoke. It was nice. Someone actually listened to me. Dinner came, and we ate. Oh, it was normal, except for the fact that our two lovebirds were more enthusiastic and cheerful than normal. Hey. I thought that that was my job. Oh, well.
Next came dessert. To my relief, they didn't decide on serving their dessert, but instead chose my version. Then, they kept rattling out flattering stuff about the redhead and I. Strangely, Ran never showed much emotion. He listened, nodded, thanked them, and listened some more. Me? I went red, and wished I was dead. I don't mind their game, but this was getting really embarrassing. It would seem funny now, but it wasn't then. I suppose the redhead decided to save my life, by saying something to cut out their string of words.
"This is great cake," he said smoothly. Blargh! Wrong move! The two lovebirds smiled simultaneously. It was scary.
"Ken made it," Omi said suddenly. "Don't you just love it? It's sweet enough, and yet not too sweet? The scent is just right? Don't you wish to taste it all the time now?"
I died. I think I died and went to heaven. Or hell. But my wits got the better of me. I laughed loudly, very suddenly. "Look, guys, thanks SO much for everything! I really have to go now; I've got to, uh, tend to stuff at home. You know, my ma and all? Thanks so much for your kindness!" I stood up and gulped down the hot tea in a hurry. Then I rushed to the two lovebirds and smacked them on their cheeks, as every good friend would. "Byes!"
I was nearly out of the door. I was finally going to get out and –
"I'll drive you home." I looked back, my eyes wide like that morning when I received a letter spelling out the time of my doom… in pink. Ran was already picking up his coat. Behind him, the two were grinning evilly.
"Um, I live just down the street… I could easily walk. Thanks." Ha! Good escape route! Goal! One up to Ken Hidaka!
"I'll walk you back."
Wha-
"It's dangerous to walk alone at night." There was a pleading look in his eyes.
Oh. I nodded. "Okay. I live there." I pointed down the street. I guess he wanted out as much as I did. And I owed him one, since he'd tried to save my life back then. We started to walk down. It was snowing slightly. Perfect. It was like a sappy romance drama. As we walked, we talked a little. I spent three minutes apologizing profusely and he spent most of the time listening, nodding at times. One question he asked shocked me, though.
"What happened between the two of you?" he asked. "He never mentioned you to me."
Humph. So much for 'good friend'! But I had to be frank. I didn't want to lie to Ran. He seemed so nice, always listening. "We met, fell in love, and then broke up."
"Why?" Another stumping question. But a good one, nonetheless.
"Hmm. I'm not suitable for him… never really fit his picture. I'm plain, and he's, well, you know, hot. I guess it was because someone else came into the picture, and the piece fit perfectly. Besides, Omi was there before me. It really isn't fair for me to hoard away what he deserved more than I did," I think I wanted to avoid the topic then. "Don't you think they're great together?"
"Yes," he replied. There was a silence. "But I can't understand it."
We were at my door.
"Can't understand what?" I was curious. I always was… always wanted to know what people saw in me, that I didn't see in myself.
"I can't understand how anyone could give up someone as selfless as you."
Wow. What a compliment. I'm selfish, Ran. I was never selfless. It was a façade, because this 'selflessness' often made me feel better, when I compensated for my self-centeredness. But I guess what happened next really was inevitable.
We kissed. Lightly, but still, it was full on the lips. It was chaste, but utterly desirable. I'd never felt that in anyone I'd kissed, not even Schuldig. But with Ray, I think it was something. I didn't know how I managed to laugh, but I did. "I feel like a whore."
"Don't." It was so simple, and yet so sharp. It meant something; I knew it did.
"I don't think it'll work out," I surprised myself. I know I'm frank, but… when it came to me, I never was. But right then, I was frank with myself. I knew that I was afraid. Five breakups. Five is enough. It was very painful to just pull away from a guy like him, but I did. "Thanks."
"Thank you." He turned to walk away, probably back to his car. And I turned back to unlock the door.
That happened a week ago. That night would've ended very differently, were I brave enough to dance to the music again. But I wasn't. I don't regret it, certainly not, and I don't think I ever will. But I don't think I'd ever forget a man like Ran, either. Maybe someday, I might dance again.
~*~ End Part One ~*~
PS: I feel exhausted now. This may be continued, maybe when something happens next time.
PSS: (^^;) I'd be a bachelor for life. Know that! Well, maybe not. Sorry, everyone, that it ended this way. Windy's love life is never happy. I wish I'd changed things for Ken, but I couldn't. Once again, sorry…
