Left Behind.
Author: Invader Johnny.
Summary: Sam Puckett never had a father and when she had to write an essay for English, she decided to do it on the man, but despite never being there for her, he taught her some very important lessons... So she was fine that he left his family behind.
Disclaimer: As always I don't own iCarly Dan does.
Notes: I always thought that not having a father in her life impacted Sam harshly, this is simply just my take inside her head.
Warning: This is a bit dark but considering Sam's background this is probably as close to the truth as it can possibly get.
Do tell me what you guys think though.
My Dad.
What can I say about a man who was never around much if at all during my formative years?
Well I guess the best way to describe him would be in just two simple word.
"Deadbeat Dad"
Trust me, there are worse things I could call the guy but this isn't an essay meant to trash him, it's about what he ended up teaching me.
My old man … I think his name was Jeremy? IF my mom is to be believed.
It really speaks volumes when I don't even know the name of the man who I share fifty percent of my DNA and I'm sure he doesn't knows or cares to remember mine, in fact the Puckett surname is one of the only legacies he left behind.
That being said, he wasn't the type of father most people would want to be related to, much less have the misfortune of knowing.
He was a far cry from the proud, understanding father to say the least, he wasn't kind, caring, protective, or even remotely ready to be a parent for that matter.
Truth be told, he never loved my mom, to him she was meant to be nothing more than a one night stand, guess he wishes he hadn't gotten drunk and actually worn a stupid condom.
This however only add another painful truth, and that was that he didn't even loved me or my sister.
To him, we weren't his family, In his words my sister and I were little more than "accidents" and hates us to death and in fact the first opportunity he had to leave us, he took it without looking back.
I still can't see a carton of milk without feeling like I want to kill something.
Still, he made a lasting impression on my life, when he was around and when he finally walked away.
If it wasn't for him, I don't think I would be who I am today, and this essay is the story on how that happened.
My dad told me once to be myself and don't bother with the crap I have to deal with from others because in his words "most people are idiots."
And that was when he was as high as a kite.
Ironically that was the best piece of advice I ever gotten from him, if I got any at all that is.
My dad was a drug addict, if you hadn't gotten the idea already, that or he was drunk to the point I was sure he was going to die from alcohol poisoning at some point which never happened, then again for all I know he could be lying in a ditch somewhere.
I'm getting off topic... The point of the matter was that during this time he taught my sister and I without trying to stay away from drugs and alcohol, another great lesson I learned from him.
It's sad that the worst role model I had in my life ended up teaching me more than I could have ever hoped for, even though I'm sure he never meant to teach it to me or my sister to begin with, through him, Melanie and I learned the dangers of drinking and doing drugs.
I both thank him and resent him for that.
So when my father finally had enough of us he decided "screw it" the result? We were left behind, I learned two things that night:
One, That people can leave you at any moment wether you want or not.
And two, that people aren't always what you expect them to be.
Melanie always thought that he would change and become the world's best dad, that he would love us unconditionally, she dreamed of him taking us out for ice cream and giving us hugs and kisses, ya know? that he would be the affectionate sort of father she (and I) craved.
My pessimism however kept me grounded, and never expect nothing but disappointment from the man, so in the end we got screwed over like most teenagers these days.
Now I have to live with a mom who barely pays attention to me, and a sister who is miles away from home, guess she couldn't just deal with the fact that our father never wanted us.
I felt sorry for Melanie, and to this day I still do, she just wants a father so badly.
That's another legacy he left behind, he affected us in different ways, he turned Melanie into a broken girl wanting acceptance, as for me?... Well he made me in to the blond headed demon you see today.
It isn't fair but life is never fair.
That's why I'm so thankful to have Spencer in my life, and while he is far from the responsible adult, he has been nothing but reliable if not a bit crazy which is more than I can say about my dad.
Another thing I should technically thank my father for is meeting Carly.
Remember when I said he taught me not to take crap from others?
Well when we were eight, I took his advice and nearly stole her tuna sandwich, she has been my best friend ever since.
So maybe I don't have the best family, who cares? My dad isn't here to abuse me and my sister anymore, my mom at least notices that we exist every once in a while, and my sister and I have learned a few good lessons in life.
I'm probably more ready for the real world than anyone else in our class, and I have to thank my parents for that. I'm not going to lie, I'm still upset that my so called dad is gone from my life, not because I loved him but because of all the hardships he put us trough, hardships that we didn't deserve.
It's all so messed up.
So, if I were to ever see my dad again, I would do two things, first I would sent him to the emergency room and after he woke up from his coma I would have this to say to him:
"Thank you for helping me become who I am today." Because despite it all, he did help me, he made me a stronger person and all while he was either drunk or high.
So while it's an understatement that maybe he wasn't the world's best dad, he will always be my father, and I have grown to accept all that he did wrong and what little he did right.
Because of that, I'll never be like him.
I am his unwanted legacy that was left behind.
In the end with all that has been said and done the most important lesson I learned from the man was simply this:
What a bad parent is like.
Carly finally stopped reading, fresh tears running down her pale cheeks, setting down Sam's paper on the table, she looked up at the older teen with a mixture of sympathy and despair.
Sam sighed as she met Carly's gaze, she knew her best friend was going to cry as soon as she finished reading, that's why she didn't want to show her the paper but the brunette was so damn persistent that Sam gave in after much prodding.
"Carly…"
That was all she managed today before the brunette flew out of the couch and grabbed the blond in a bone crushing bear-hug.
The waterfall of tears finally ran free as Carly held her best friend in her arms.
Sam returned the hug, nothing was said between the two girls but that wasn't necessary, actions spoke louder than words.
Everything in that damn paper spoke nothing but the truth, not one bit of it did she put a lie to help glamorize her father.
"He was a jerk for not seeing what a wonderful daughter you are" Carly hiccuped.
Sam said nothing to that, she just kept hugging her best friend.
But truth be told she was ok with her father leaving, after all she had Carly now and always.
Two days later Sam walked into her English class, and was greeted with a small smile from her English teacher Miss McMartin.
"All right people, settle down. I read all your essays, and to tell you the truth, I was disappointed in most of you. None of you lived up to your writing potential, for that, I didn't grade your essays and you will have to re-do them if you want to pass this class"
A massive groan from her students were heard after that.
"But, there was one essay which I really enjoyed. It wasn't the usual cutesy stuff most of you did. Like this one piece of work for example," she pulled out a paper and began reading.
"My mother gave me everything I ever wanted, ever since I was little. She always helped me and helped me with my homework,' Now c'mon people, that sounds like a third grader wrote it! I'm supposed to teach you all seventh grade English, and you come in here and write as if you were in third grade! I'm tellin' ya, you all better get your acts together before eighth grade or you'll be dead on the state tests," Miss McMartin ranted.
Wendy lowered her head in shame.
"well… Now I know who wrote that piece of shit"
"But for the writer of the essay that told everything the way life is for some, I congratulate you for being yourself. I am posting a copy of it, without your name, and the school board for all to read. I wish that some of you will read it, so that you all can get an idea on what a five on the standard state tests would be like. Now, grab your Lit. books and turn to page 234..."
Sam was shocked. That couldn't be her essay she was talking about, could it?
She looked at Carly sitting next to her, she simply gave her a weak smile.
After that, she paid little to no attention to whatever Miss McMartin was saying and waited for the end of the class.
"I have to know if it's mine"
When the period finally ended, the whole class crowded around the essay.
Some were wondering who was the mastermind behind such powerful words.
Carly puts her hand on Sam's shoulder, the blond looked back quizzically.
"I'm so proud of you" She mouthed.
Sam smiled and puts her hand over Carly's, she mouthed back.
"Thank you"
"Now think you can help me re-write my essay?"
Sam laughed "Of course cupcake, let me see what you have"
well what do you guys think?
I liked the idea of Sam being a writer and I decided to do a one shot where Sam explores her writing abilities and what better way than to write down some old emotions right?
Constructive criticism accepted.
Invader Johnny Signing Off.
