CHAPTER ONE: AN UNWELCOME GUEST
Keith was just your ordinary Canadian college student who had just finished watching a zombie movie. He had long, black hair that obscured his eyes and was dressed in a dark-violet turtleneck and a pair of black jeans. Life was good, except for that fact that everyone he met thought he was emo for some reason. He hated that. Plus the zombie movie he had just finished watching sucked.
"That zombie movie I just finished watching sucked!" Keith complained, "The whole 90 minutes was just people shooting zombies and zombies disemboweling people! The scripting was awful, and there was absolutely no plot! And another thing-" Keith's rant was interrupted by a knock on his door. "Wonder who that could be at this hour…" Keith muttered as he pulled himself off of the couch and walked towards the door. "Look," Keith said as he opened the door, "Whatever it is you're selling, I don't want-"
Keith stopped dead in mid-sentence. There, at the door, were three zombies, straight out of the crappy zombie flick he was ranting about barely a minute ago. "…any." Keith finally finished. "Huh. Zombies. Right after I finished watching a zombie movie. What a coincidence." Keith pondered the irony of the situation for a few seconds, then slammed the door shut.
"Holy crap!" Keith yelled in a panic as the zombies quickly broke down the door and began advancing menacingly towards him. "Look guys, I'm sorry I thought your movie was bad. It had some nice moments, like when the woman ran outside the mall to get her dog and had her limbs ripped off and devoured by yourselves. How about we all just forget I even watched the movie at all, eh?" The zombified trio continued to advance unabated. "Alright then, let's not forget! How about you gentlemen just take anything you want? My cell phone! My Xbox 360! My CD collection!" Keith desperately grabbed a CD case from said collection and held it out towards the zombies. "See, this one's… um… Hybrid Theory, by Linkin Park! Great album, actually the best selling album of 2001. Linkin Park also-" Keith was interrupted as one of the zombies swatted the CD out of his hand. "Okay! So you're not huge fans of Linkin Park, but how about…" Keith reached for another CD, "….Billy Talent! Great band, one of the greatest Canadian bands ever in my-" This CD was also swatted out of Keith's hand. "Okay then, how about the Foo Fighters?"
Swat.
"Aerosmith, then?"
Swat.
"The Kaiser Chiefs?"
Swat.
"Rihanna?!?!?"
Swat.
"AAAAAAH!!!!" Keith screamed as he ran from the zombies, straight into the wall… Straight through the wall… Leaving a cartoony Keith-shaped hole in the wall.
…
Somehow I expected something more dramatic and less Looney Toons.
CHAPTER END
