This extremely silly little story is inspired by a chore that I often do in my own house. What can I say, life inspires art :P

I don't own jack shit. I'm sorry. D:

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It was a lovely Friday afternoon, and everyone's favorite protagonists were hanging at Maka's dorm, because Black Star's was a wreck, and because Blair had been banned permanently from the Death household (you don't wanna ask why). Tsubaki had brought snacks, and Liz and Patty (it was mostly Patty's idea) had brought a game of Pictionary. Soul, Maka, and Crona sat squished together on one couch, while Tsubaki, Liz, and Blair took the other. Patty and Black Star, having seemingly endless energy, opted to stand, or in Patty's case, bounce around the room giggling.

"It's a monkey!" Maka called out, watching as Liz tried to draw the word on the card she'd drawn. "No, wait, it's a raccoon!"

"It looks more like a lion," Tsubaki speculated.

"It's one of those frilled lizard things," Soul said nonchalantly.

"Frill-Necked Lizard," Liz said, grinning, putting her pencil down. "One point to Soul."

"Awesome, I'm a beast at this game."

"Hey, where's Kid?" Patty piped up randomly, looking around for her maestre.

"Dunno, but he's gonna lose at this rate!" Black Star shot a challenging glare at Soul. "Don't forget, pal, we're tied right now!"

"Psh. Gimme a break. You only got so many points so far 'cause of dumb luck. You're a horrible guesser, Black Star."

"Seriously, though, where is Kid?" Blair frowned a little in thought. "Didn't he say he was going to the bathroom, like, ten minutes ago?"

"He does that a lot." Patty nodded vigorously. "He'll go off to the bathroom then get distracted by stuff. Like me! Once, I was going somewhere, then I saw this shiny thing, and it was so pretty, and I was like, 'Ooh! A shiny!' And then I forgot what I was supposed to be doing, and then..."

"I'm going to go see if the croissants are done," Maka said, dislodging herself from between Soul and Crona (Patty continued to talk as if no one had interrupted her at all). As she stepped into the kitchen, she found Kid.

On his hands and knees. With a sponge.

Maka blinked a few times. "Um... Kid? What are you...?"

"There are spots on the floor I must clean them I simply have no choice they look so horrid it's unsightly I must fix this," the reaper said, all in one breath, as he scrubbed at a small drip stain. Suddenly, he sat up in a very dramatic fashion. "How can you live with this, Maka?" he implored. "How can you live in such... filth!"

The girl cast a look about the kitchen, finding the floor to be perfectly acceptable in her eyes - as it had been earlier in the day. "It looks fine to me..."

"IT'S FILTHY!" The young reaper began to sob. "A drip here, a splatter there, a crumb there...!" He collapsed on the floor, writhing. "THE HUMANITY!"

Crona (who had gotten up and followed Maka) shuddered behind her. "Is he having a seizure? I don't know how to deal with people having seizures!"

"Let's poke him with a stick!"

"Patty, that's unsafe. You might jab him in the eye."

"Let's poke him with a potato, then!"

Confused stares were exchanged by all except for Patty, who was oblivious, and Kid, who was busy having a nervous breakdown on the floor.

"Hey sis, is he doing the Get Down dance?"

Liz facepalmed. "I think it's time we take Kid home now..."

And that's why we don't take Kid anywhere anymore.

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... And this is what would happen if Patty Thompson wrote every fanfiction everywhere.

I've kind of made it a personal goal that in every fanfic featuring Patty, I will make her reference at least one internet meme or phenomenon. Just cause.