Kris: Hey everyone! This was a oneshot I worked on while I was up the coast. Hope you enjoy.
The Gin Sin
And poor Aizen thought that one Gin was more than enough…
It was a normal day, a normal meeting. Starrk fell asleep as usual. Gin showed up late as usual. Nothing out of the ordinary. Upon dismissing the meeting, Aizen went to the kitchens to make a cup of his favourite tea. He had gotten the recipe during his Seireitei days from Unohana, and had used it many times since. As he opened his tea cupboard, he discovered an astonishing surprise waiting for him inside.
"Oh…What have we here…?" wondered Aizen, as he gathered the bundle of blankets into his arms.
The bundle gave a high-pitched laugh and Aizen looked down into the eyes of a baby. Or at least he would have if it's eyes were open. The baby had silver hair, squinting eyes, and a large grin. It almost looked like-
Without any further thought, Aizen placed the baby back in the cupboard and walked away, pretending he had seen nothing. He of all people knew that one Gin was more than enough. What had a baby Gin been doing in the cupboard in the first place? Aizen chuckled and shook his head. He must have been seeing things.
Forgetting about the tea, he made his way back down the hall. As he travelled, he could have sworn he'd glimpsed a small, young Gin run up a nearby hallway. He dismissed it once again as his eyes playing tricks on him.
"Maybe I really did need glasses after all…"
As Aizen continued on down the hall, he came face to face with Gin himself.
"Hey there, Aizen," said Gin, "What's up? Ya look as though you've just seen another one of me," he added a laugh.
Aizen laughed nervously, ignoring the facts that he may have indeed just seen other Gins, and that Gin's comment had sounded quite suspicious.
"Just had a weird morning," Aizen said.
"Oh really?" asked Gin, extending his creepy smile.
"Yeah…" said Aizen. "Maybe I should get some earlier nights…" he said more to himself than Gin.
"Maybe you should, Aizen-sama," Gin grinned.
Aizen nodded and continued further along down the hall, away from Gin.
"Snap out of it, Sosuke." He told himself.
Just as he was beginning to think he was sane again, he crossed paths with Gin. Again.
"What?!" exclaimed Aizen, "Didn't I just pass you, Gin?"
Gin said nothing. Only grinned.
"Are you screwing with my mind, Gin?" asked Aizen.
The Gin only laughed and continued on its way. Aizen came to the conclusion that he was either going insane, or something REALLY weird was going on. Aizen didn't know which option was worse.
As he rounded to corner, Aizen was confronted with a sight that would haunt him until the day he died. It was…Gin. But not just one. A vast multitude of Gins from all walks of life. At the front of the Gin crowd stood young Gin twins, both bearing the same characteristic smile. Aizen blinked and did a double take. Surely this couldn't be real?! Aizen reached out and touched one of the Gins. It was real. At once, all the Gins began laughing. Aizen began backing away slowly, before breaking out into a high speed run. This was an emergency. There was no way an army of Gins was normal. Aizen scheduled an instant emergency meeting with his Espada, and quickly headed over to he meeting premises. However, upon his arrival he was greeted by another shock; six Gins sat at the table where his 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 6th, 7th and 9th Espada should have been. Not to mention a Gin standing in the spot Tousen normally occupied, and a Gin in Gin's normal spot. Aizen presumed this was the original Gin.
"Well hello, Aizen," said Gin-Gin. "We've been expecting you."
As if on cue, all Gin heads turned to face Aizen and laughed freakishly.
"What is the meaning of this, Gin?" asked Aizen.
Gin-Gin laughed, "shall I introduce you to my new friends?"
"Uhh…okay…?" said Aizen.
Gig-Gin began. "Over at the table there's Ginigan, Ginibell, Ginquiorra, Ginnjow, Ginari and Ginoniero. And here at my side is Ginsen."
"Hmmm…" Aizen thought out loud, "Those names are oddly familiar…"
"Don't get it?" chuckled Gin-Gin, "Allow me to explain…Ah, Yammy! Right on time!"
Yammy grunted dumbly. "Hey Gin, why are there lots of you?"
"Assimilate him!" declared Gin-Gin.
"Huh?" said Yammy, as eight pairs of red eyes opened wide on him.
This was all too much for poor, dumb Yammy. "Huh? What's happening? Ughhh…"
Aizen looked on in utter horror at the grotesque scene playing out before his eyes. Yammy's skin began to pale. He was shrinking rapidly. He lost his mask fragments. His hair became whole and silver, his eyes squinted and his mouth formed a sly grin. To top it off, a freakish laugh escaped his lips.
"Welcome, Ginmy," said Gin-Gin, as the Ginspada greeted their newest member, who seated himself. "Get it now, Aizen?" questioned Gin-Gin, before opening his eyes slightly, in a sinister fashion. "Or should I say 'Ginzen'."
Aizen's eyes widened with shock.
"Assimilate him, my underlings!"
"Nooooo!" cried Aizen, as little Gin eyes opened all around him. He braced his body into resistance mode, in attempt to avoid becoming a Gin.
"There is no hope in that!" laughed Gin-Gin, "Prepare to assimilate!"
Each Gin gave a creepy laugh and began advancing. However, when Aizen thought that all hope was lost and that he would become a Gin, a crashing distraction came from behind the horde of Gins. Aizen tried to catch a glimpse of what had caused the noise as well, but he felt himself quickly being pulled away. Thinking it was a pair of Gins, Aizen tried to retaliate. Until he saw it was an unginified Starrk and Szayel. They guided him to a wall, where one of Szayel's secret passageways opened up, and entered.
As soon as the door closed behind them, Aizen opened his mouth to ask questions, but was blinded by Starrk, who was shining a torch into his eyes.
"Eyes?" came Szayel's interrogative voice.
"Clear," replied Starrk.
"Skin?"
"Clear."
"Mouth?"
"Clear."
"Hair?"
"Brown and greasy as ever…"
"Hey!" retaliated Aizen, placing both hands in his hair, "It isn't greasy, it's just styled!"
"That isn't important just now," said Szayel, who usually took great interest in one's hairstyles, "While you have no obvious symptoms, it is still unclear whether you are affected or not. Tell me, did you look directly into any of the Gin's eyes?"
Aizen shook his head, "No, I didn't…"
Szayel let out a sigh of relief, "Well that's good," he said, "In that case, you shouldn't have contracted the G-Virus."
"G-Virus?" Aizen blinked.
"Yes," said Szayel, "I think you saw what happened to most of the Espada."
"But how did this happen?" asked Aizen, "And what was that distraction from before?"
"Oh, that was Nnoitra," explained Starrk, as Nnoitra came running up the passageway, "He wanted to make the distraction, so…"
"We better go back to the lab," said Nnoitra, "The explosion wont hold the Gins off for long."
"They know about these passageways?" asked Aizen.
"You bet." Said Starrk.
"The only place they can't access is my lab," said Szayel, "Come, we'll continue our conversation in there."
Once the four of them had reached the lab and were supplied with a cup of tea, Szayel began explaining, "As far as I know, an epidemic has broken out in Las Noches. It is known as the G-Virus and so far, us four are the only ones unaffected."
"Really?" queried Aizen, "But what about everyone else?"
Nnoitra shook his head, "It's all the same. My Tessla turned into Ginsla."
"And my Lilynette's never been the same since she became Ginynette," added Starrk.
"How has this happened?" asked Aizen.
"According to my sources, Gin has been planning this for some time now," said Szayel. "You see, when one looks directly into the opened eyes of a Gin, they undergo a horrific process called 'Ginification'. I believe you saw it happen to Yammy."
Aizen nodded, "So I did…But why didn't you bring him back here as well before he was Ginified?"
"Because he's much more tolerable as a Gin," remarked Nnoitra.
"True…"
"But surely Gin has to have some sort of plan…" Starrk thought out loud, "Some sort of motive…since he's turned virtually everybody into a copy of himself…"
"Likely," said Aizen, " But this is Gin we're talking about. Maybe he did it just because…"
"At any rate, we need to figure out how to defeat Gin's army, without being Ginified ourselves. And before the virus transfers to Soul Society or the World of the Living," said Szayel. "I have installed several security cameras all around Las Noches and Hueco Mundo, so that we can observe the Gin's actions from a safe distance."
He flicked on a large screen, which was divided into several smaller screens, not one of which was unoccupied by a Gin. One screen displayed Ginsen and the Ginspada. Another showed baby Gin crawling up the hallway, wearing only a nappy/diaper thing. Another showed the little twin Gins up to no good. Another showed a hippie Gin camping outside Las Noches dome, wearing a 'Free Tibet' shirt. Another showed two Gins hugging and…doing things that should only be implied in a 'T' rated fic. Another showed who Aizen guessed must have been Ginderweiss, sitting loyally at Ginsen's feet. And the list went on.
"How do we defeat them?" asked Nnoitra.
"Maybe they're allergic to something," suggested Aizen, "Like the mutants on I Am Legend, which are allergic to sunlight."
"I didn't like that movie," supplied Starrk, "The dog died. It made me sad."
"I'm surprised you know that much about the movie, Aizen," remarked Szayel, "From what I remember of when you took us to see it, you spent nearly the entire movie cowering behind the seat in front of you. And at that jumpy moment, you jumped and threw your popcorn all over that poor guy. It all went in his hair. Not to mention how you were too scared to sleep in your own bed for an entire fortnight afterwards, and insisted on sleeping in Tousen's room. And you asked me for those anti-nightmare pills…"
"Shhhh!" said Aizen, "Don't say that in front of the others!"
Nnoitra and Starrk were already snickering amongst themselves.
"Well anyway," said Szayel, "Aizen has raised a very valid argument. If we can find a weakness within the Gins, victory will be ours."
"Well the sun is Gin's weakness," said Aizen, "He used to burn all the time back in Seireitei from that pale skin of his…"
"But where do we get sun from?" asked Nnoitra, " The sun under the dome isn't very real…"
"Well then," said Szayel, grinning, "We'll just have to make our own UV rays…"
…
Sometime later, three of the four Las Noches residents were equipped with UV guns and ready to go.
"Alright," Szayel briefed them, "Remember everything we have talked about. Starrk, Nnoitra…wait for my signal before you begin shooting. Aizen…I have something else in mind for you. I will need you to do as I say, with no questions."
"Sure…" said Aizen.
Szayel continued, "If you see a Gin starting to open it's eyes, close yours immediately. I cannot stress how important it is that you avoid direct eye contact at all costs."
"Yessir!" the three nodded to their inferior.
"Right then," grinned Nnoitra, "Let's move out…"
They snuck carefully down the passageway, passing a room full of Gins.
"When will we attack?" asked Aizen.
"Soon," replied Szayel. "But we need to position ourselves around the premises…We'll have to lead all the Gins into one area, and we need the element of surprise. But for that we need bait…"
All eyes fell upon Aizen.
"What?!"
"That Aizen, is where you come in…"
Five minutes later, Aizen stood awkwardly in the passageway. He was dressed in a large black cloth, a cheap looking strawberry blonde wig and a pink scarf. He also had two basketballs stuffed into his chest area, giving the illusion of cleavage.
"Are you sure this will work?" he asked.
"Positive," replied Szayel, "If my memories of the records are correct, Rangiku Matsumoto is very valuable to Gin. She is therefore the only one the Gins won't Ginify. Her presence him to her for who she is to him, so you'll be safe from Ginification. Unfortunately, we don't have Rangiku here herself, but out of us four you are to closest in size and shape, so you'll have to do."
"Hey!" pouted Aizen.
Szayel continued, "While you're busy distracting them, we'll sneak in from the sidelines and release the UV."
"Alright then," said Aizen, over the snickering of Nnoitra and Starrk in amusement of a boobed Aizen.
Stepping out of the passageway and into the Gin's plain view, Aizen made his way into the centre of the room. Sure enough, various Gins began flocking from all corners of the globe. Even dressed in his cunning disguise, Aizen found their approach quite unnerving. And still they were coming. Aizen noticed the Free Tibet Gin latching onto a nearby Gin, as well as the metrosexual Gins and baby Gin among these. Soon enough, the entire Gin population was surrounding him.
"Nice Gins…" Aizen said, smiling nervously, as the original Gin came forth.
"Hello there, Rangiku," Gin-Gin grinned, "How nice of you to drop in…"
There was a pause before Aizen heard Szayel's voice in the Radio in his ear. "Hurry up and say something!"
"Oh…Uhh…It's good to see you, Gin!" Aizen said in his best Rangiku impression.
Then something happened that Aizen did not intend. Gin-Gin wrapped his arms around the Matusmoto impostor and whispered in his ear, "Come to my room later…"
Aizen inwardly gulped.
As Gin-Gin pulled away, Szayel must have given the 'Go Ahead', as the next thing Aizen knew, Szayel Nnoitra and Starrk had surrounded the horde of Gins, and shooting their UV guns wildly.
"Sunshine power" declared Szayel.
However, the results were…ineffective? But how could that be?!
Gin-Gin grinned and chuckled. "So Szayel," he said, "You thought you were the only one who had security cameras installed?"
Szayel looked horrified, "Wh-what?"
"We heard your entire conversation," continued Gin-Gin, "And we're immune to the UV now. You see, we all applied sunscreen."
"Nooooooo!" said Szayel, "Not the sunscreen!"
"Assimilate him, my Ginified army!" declared Gin-Gin, as the many Gins advanced on Szayel.
"Don't look them in the eyes…don't look them in the eyes…" the pink haired Espada kept repeating to himself. However, this technique was useless. Szayel was seemingly mind controlled by the Gins, as he slowly looked up into the open red eyes of a Gin. Next thing Aizen knew, where Szayel too recently sat was a Gin. It laughed freakishly.
"Welcome, Ginayel," spoke Gin-Gin.
Oh no! thought Aizen, as the same thing happened to Nnoitra.
"Welcome, Gintra," said Gin-Gin, as the other Gins swarmed around to greet their new comrades.
"And finally," said Gin-Gin, as Starrk became Ginified, "Welcome Gink."
"Gink?" came the voice on one of the other Gins, "What sort of name is that?!"
"He was hard to name because his name is only one syllable long," frowned Gin-Gin, "So shut up, Ginmari."
Ginmari sulked at the floor.
Okay, calm down, thought Aizen, As long as they still think I'm Rangiku it should be okay…
However, right after he thought this, his fate turned for the worst. Upon taking a step away from Gin-Gin, one of the basketballs beneath his fake Shinigami attire became unstuck. As it bounced out along the floor, Aizen watched as all the Gins followed the pattern of it's path with their heads, before it came to a rest at Ginnjow's feet. The Gins all stared down at the basketball, before slowly diverting their gaze toward the single-boobed Aizen.
"Uhh…Hi…" said Aizen, laughing and waving nervously.
Gin-Gin then approached him once again, removing the cheap strawberry blonde wig from his head. All the Gins gasped.
"So it's you!" said Gin-Gin shocked.
Aizen didn't know what to say.
"But don't worry, " said Gin-Gin grinning. "I won't turn you into Gingiku."
Aizen breathed a sigh of relief.
"We'll turn you into Ginzen. Come, my Gins! Assimilate him!"
All of the Gins—from the gay Gins, to the little twin Gins, to the Free Tibet Gin—started opening their eyes.
"What?" said Aizen, as he was covered by a shroud of red, "Nooooooo!"
…
Aizen bolted upright, sweating, panting heavily and clutching his bed sheets tightly. He looked around.
"Just a dream…" he panted, full of relief.
That was until he felt something under his covers, followed by a high-pitched, freakish laugh.
"Whose there?" demanded Aizen.
The laugh sounded again, only next to Aizen's chest.
"I know that's you Gin," Aizen spoke sternly, "This isn't funny, you know."
Gin's laugh sounded again, this time next to Aizen's ear.
"You move too fast," noted Aizen, "Now go back to bed, Gin."
Gin's laugh sounded again. From all three locations Aizen had heard it before. And more.
Aizen quickly turned on his light, only to realise his nightmare had come alive. A mass influx of Gins were riddled in and around his bed.
"Crap! Said Aizen as he got up and bolted for the door.
The Gins however, had other ideas, as they ganged up on Aizen, backing him into a corner. The last thing that was ever seen of Aizen's true body was his raised arm, as it sunk into the sea of Gins, and his earth-shattering cry of "Noooooooooo!"
End.
Kris: Oh dear, poor Aizen…his worst nightmare is an invasion of Gins. My worst nightmare would be a similar case to the G-Virus, only with Kevin Rudd as the subject. The mere thought alone is enough to make any Auzzie shudder…Anyways, I'd like to open this up so that Aizen doesn't feel stupid having a worst nightmare. In your review, state your own worst nightmare. The more absurd the better ;)
