1. Despondent
The blank paper residing on her desk on the corner seemed to glare at her as if it were a grumpy cat, perched and waiting for food. It was definitely a weird occurrence for Clarissa Fray to refrain from what Simon would call "Arting" for any prolonged period of time, but the days following her mothers death had left her at place emotionally that she never thought she would have to be. As a child she had always pictured her mother immortal, surely the world wouldn't steal away one of the only people she held dear right?
However since becoming a shadowhunter she had begun to see that the world truly was a cruel place, full of cruel humans and creatures alike and she needed to learn how to defend herself.
That's why when Maryse Lightwood had proposed that both she and Luke stay at the institute, one so that Clary could learn more about who she was and how to be a Nephilim and two to provide extra hands to fend off the increasing demon attacks, they had both gladly accepted.
Now though, laying on her soft mattress with her quilt drawn over her, just like every other night she found she couldn't sleep. She had been handed so much information from Valentine about herself and about Jace she had desperately hoped to talk to her mother about everything and find some real answers, but now she never could.
It didn't help that Jace had been avoiding her as much as possible, she understood but it still hurt her that they hadn't been able to talk and resolve their emotional situation.
During the day she had taken to learning how to draw runes, what they meant and how they could assist her in battle, but her combat training had been delayed.
Deciding not to think too much more Clary decided to get out of bed. The clock on her bedside table gave away how early it really was and with a groan she grabbed some clothes from her drawer and set off for a shower.
She felt a little elevated and a lot more awake when she emerged from her bathroom, she rubbed her towel against her hair vigorously in a lazy attempt to dry it before scrutinizing herself in the mirror. Aside from her messy hair and clean clothes she could see the tiredness and faint signs of deterioration. It's not like she didn't know she needed to help herself, she just didn't know how to.
Making her way down the hallway Clary stretched out her arms, her stomach rumbling. She entered the kitchen expecting to find it empty but was surprised to find Isabelle and Alec sitting at the breakfast bar.
"Good morning Clary" Isabelle smiled tiredly at her and motioned for her to sit down. Clary smiled back, grabbing a cup from the cupboard and pouring some coffee from the percolator before joining them.
"We were just discussing Jace's predicament" Alec said offhandedly, she knew what he meant of course. The Clave after receiving their report of the events that took place put in a request for a trial to be held in Idris. "We aren't really sure what we can do, if we can do anything and of course Jace refuses to discuss the topic, he's just content to ride the waves of the Claves discontent. We all know now that the Clave knows he's Valentines son there is no realistic way that they will take it easy on him.." he trailed off hanging his head, exasperation evident in his features.
"Jace didn't do anything notably wrong though, he fought to get back the mortal cup and to protect our mother even if in the end they were both lost.." she took a moment to steady her voice after saying this, comforted by Isabelle's hand softly covering her own. "The cup was just one of the mortal instruments though wasn't it? Didn't you say there was also a mirror and a sword that can invoke the truth? If they used the sword in the trial then they would know for certain that he's innocent right?" Clary looked to Alec for confirmation.
His features flattened for a moment, as if thinking, and then nodded once slowly.
"Alec! That could work! We have to talk to mom and dad if they send word to the Clave now they'll be able to change the request before it's fully processed!" Isabelle jumped up, eyes wide with excitement. She reminded Clary of a puppy in that moment which brought a sot smile to her face.
"It's okay Izzy I'll talk to them, it's early you and Clary should go grab some breakfast for everyone, oh and grab something for Magnus too pretty please" he smiled sweetly. Isabelle stared back flatly, hand perched on her protruding hip, her signature style.
"Fine but you owe me" with a wink and a flourish that was just Isabelle she grabbed the red-headed girls hand and quickly dragged her from the room and down the hallway in the direction of the entryway, leaving a smiling Alec to finish his coffee before his important conversation.
Clary and Isabelle conversed animatedly about runes and what possible training Clary might be doing first on their way to pick up breakfast bagels, as Isabelle had revealed shortly after they left the elevator.
"You sound like you're already learning loads Clary I'm really impressed, you're picking up runes quicker that I did!" Isabelle joked, handing over the money for their food and thanking the grinning boy behind the counter. His dark eyes seemed to scan Isabelle as she turned around with the food and Clary couldn't help but glare mildly at him.
"I actually really enjoy learning about them. I dunno, you'll probably think I'm weird but I feel like I have a strange connection with them" Clary rubbed her wrist nervously, she hadn't wanted to bring it up before but ever since meeting Isabelle she felt like she could trust the girl fully. There was something about her, how strong and loyal she was, that made her seem so trustworthy.
Isabelle gave Clary a thoughtful look, her luscious dark hair framing her face in a way that seemed almost angelic, her lips pursed together for a moment before she gave a shrug. "I don't see why you couldn't to be honest, I've seen Jace drop from heights that would make an ordinary shadowhunter squirm yet he's all-right. Maybe you're both just special." She smiled brightly as she said this and Clary blushed. It was a strange thought that Isabelle could so easily think she might be special. The thought stirred a warm feeling somewhere deep within her and she blushed faintly.
They arrived back at the institute with little else of interest happening, and by the time they reached the lounge next to the institutes kitchen Magnus Bane had already arrived and made himself comfortable next to Alec. Isabelle deposited the bag of bagels on the coffee table in front of her brother, ignoring his visibly uncomfortable stature. She noted the arm draped across the back of the chair behind him with a knowing smirk, and saying nothing sat down on the adjacent couch to quietly eat her bagel. Clary followed suit and grabbed hers from the bag and after an uncomfortable look in the direction of Jace, who sat quietly in the light of the fire, decided to sit next to Isabelle.
"Well now that everyone is here I guess I'll fill you all in on what's going to be happening over the next few days." he took a moment to make sure he garnered the attention of everyone in the room before he continued. "Obviously as you two know following our conversation this morning I went to speak with Mom and Dad, I debriefed them on your idea to convince the Clave to change the trial to trial by the soul sword and they agreed it's the best course of action. Magnus portalled them to Idris not long after so they could speak to the Inquisitor in person." Alec paused to smile at Magnus after saying this "So, I received a fire message from them and they have confirmed that the Clave has accepted. The Inquisitor will be coming with Mom and Dad when they come back from Idris tomorrow, she will likely try and question you before the trial which is set to be held the next day."
"If that's true, then I guess I have a better chance now, but don't get your hopes up. The Clave might still disappoint you yet" Jace said. He stretched and stood up, grabbing a bagel from the table before heading towards the door "Thanks though, I'll be training" and then he left through the open door, pausing only briefly to nod at Luke as he passed.
"Clary is it okay if we talk?" Luke asked from the doorway. "Of course, Luke" Clary said, moving to follow Luke to the next room. She wondered what he wanted to talk about, they had had a lengthy conversation a few days after her mother passed away about where they both were emotionally.
"Clary we need to talk about Jace" Luke started, sitting in the first chair he could find. "I'm concerned that you still haven't resolved your feelings about him and the situation you're both now in."
"Well.. You're right to be concerned about it I guess.. We haven't really talked, he's been avoiding me." she felt a little bit childish saying it. She knew she should have tried to speak to him about it by now, but honestly the thought scared her.
Luke sighed, giving her a stern look "you'll both have to deal with it some time, sooner rather than later. If Jace isn't coming to you and seems like he has no intention of broaching the subject then maybe you should consider approaching him." he smiled warmly "I know you'll do the right thing kiddo, trust me it will all work out in the end" and with that he left the room.
Clary sighed, she should have known this was coming. Maybe it was time to face her fears.
