A/N: First Kaishin/Shinkai fic I made. I wrote this at like 3 am and posted this two hours later. I didn't even proofread this huhu. Anyways, this is based on a true story (the * part till the end). I hope you like it! Favourite and Review if you do~!
Best Man
Summary: Kaito's letter to Shinichi
Hey, Shinichi!
First things first, I hope you're alright. No bodies suddenly falling to their death I hope. Though with you being a literal corpse magnet, I highly doubt that. Kidding aside, when you receive this letter you are probably back in Japan and in your room, where I will leave this, probably... And, I'll be on the move a lot soon because of my magic shows, so I won't expect a reply from you.
So, Tantei-kun, the reason I wrote this is, well... to say goodbye to my favourite critic (Hakubastard does not compare to you! Tantei-han is cool, though) and I kinda went to the memory lane when you left.
Do you remember when we first met? On a heist. What heist? Everyone's favourite magician of course, my heist! I was the Kaitou Kid and you were a six-year-old kid. Like, what the hell is this kid doing here, am I right? I mean, what the hell, I do make my heists danger-proof but a kid can get hurt there too and we both know I DO NOT POSITIVELY want any dead bodies. Especially if it's yours, Shinichi, I definitely couldn't live with that.
Then you started to frequent my heists, as this overly-smart six-year-old kid named Edogawa Conan. You know, I always get so excited when Old man Jirokichi sends out challenges because you're going to be there so I always look forward to those heists. It's gets boring with the same old Kid Task Force and a Hakuba who couldn't even get my tricks, you know? Shinichi, you make my heists one hundred times more interesting. Those were my fondest memories of you being Conan.
We got really really close. So close that you decided to tell me your true identity. That you're Kudou Shinichi, Great Detective of the East, who got shrunken by the Black Organization. In return, of course I told mine too, even though you refused so much. I told you all about me, and why I'm stealing gems. I told you my quest to find Pandora. It's bizarre right? The detective and the phantom thief, friends and enemies.
We became best friends when you took down the Black Organisation. At first you desperately refused to accept any help from me. You said you didn't want me to get hurt... yet I did. I literally took a bullet for you. Of course! You're my best friend. And you cried so much when I got hurt. I told you over and over that I'm alright, I'm going to live, and you were there trying -panicking- to stop the bleeding. You legit thought I was going to die, huh? Sorry about that. Although, you did that to me too! When you took the antidote to go back to being Kudou Shinichi and helped me too. You got shot on the chest by the people behind my father's death. I cried too, bawled my eyes out. Then you started to laugh before revealing that you were wearing a bulletproof vest! I still hate you for being an asshole about it, asshole.
I also found the Pandora, thanks to your help, shortly after. Everything became normal. I stopped being Kid and you went back to your old life. We started to hang out as ourselves, too! There were a few problems though, like the detective boys, who are by the way still sad about Conan leaving for America. And of course, Ran-san.
You decided to confess to her and tell her about Conan's real identity. At least it wasn't that bad like what we expected. She forgave you, after she broke few of your ribs with a mop. I wonder where she got that skill though. And, it's a good thing she waited for you and everything went well. I'm really happy for you two. You were like, the perfect couple. Unlike what happened with me and Aoko when I told her about my night job. She goes on to Hakuba and dates him. Unfair, right? Well, at least you were there to comfort me and my miserable drunk ass almost every night. I'm so glad you were there. It's because of you that I moved on just fine. Thank you, Shinichi.
With moving on comes a new love for me.
We did almost everything together. College? We both went to the same university. We even had a dorm together. You were on and off with Ran-san, so there were times when you wouldn't go to class. But it's okay, I always understand. I'm always there for you.
That's when I realized that I fell in love with you, Shinichi.
*I tried so hard to get rid of these feelings. I really did. I wanted to tell you how I feel. I wanted to confess. I get so jealous when I see you with Ran-san. I want you all to myself, but I wouldn't risk our friendship for my selfishness. So when you told me when we graduated that you were going to propose to Ran-san, I almost sabotaged the proposal... but you were so in love with her and so very happy that I couldn't bear to take that happiness away.
But I fucked up so bad...
On the night before your wedding, we held a bachelor party for you. It was rad. It was fun. We got so very drunk, you and me. The party came to an end and I put you to bed. As I was leaving, you grabbed my wrist and told me to stay, so I stayed. I'm really weak to everything you say, seriously. You stared at me while I waited for you to drift of to sleep.
Suddenly you told me that you love me... And pulled me for a kiss.
I was surprised but I felt it in that kiss, your true feelings for me. We both know that we love each other. As our lips touched, your tears went streaming down your face. I so desperately wanted to ask why you're crying but I don't want to remove my lips from yours. So I just hugged you and kissed you more. We were like real lovers with no care to the world, like there's no circumstances waiting.
We stopped kissing and you hugged me back, tight, as if you were cherishing that moment. We didn't talk. Just held each other until we fell asleep.
The next morning, you said to just blame that to the alcohol. I know. I understand. It was your wedding day, after all. You're getting married to the person you belong to. I know. You're not mine. I was your best man. I'm the one that brought you to the wedding hall. I was there, in the front row. I saw the bride walking down the aisle. Beautiful, a perfect match to the handsome groom.
It hurts
It hurts so much
My chest feels so heavy
I was there the whole time watching you, you look good as well. I watched... as the person I love get wed to someone else and I couldn't even do a thing. I watched... the people around us as they erupted in cheers for you two. I know. You're sure of what you were doing. Marrying Ran-san is for the best.
And as the priest said, "You may now kiss the bride," you turned your head towards me, but I know. I know those tears aren't tears of joy. You were waiting for me to say "go", weren't you, Shinichi? So I nodded, and you kissed.
The moment you kissed her, my chest constricted.
The moment you kissed her, I almost wanted to cry.
The moment you kissed her, there is nothing I wanted to do but to snatch you away from there and run away with you.
After the ceremony, I didn't stay any longer. I went home to cry my heart out. I don't know how to measure or describe the pain. I'm not even sure if such pain is measurable at all. Shoot me ten times with a gun and I could say it was less than the pain I felt that day.
But I had to stay strong.
I had to stay strong. Like how I did when you went to me so you could cry especially when you're down. Of course, you're my best friend! I had to stay strong for you. But this time... I'm gonna cry, okay? I'm the one that's gonna cry my eyes out. But seriously, you asshole. You are so unfair, Shinichi. Because you weren't here for me, by my side.
But it's okay, because I had to stay strong, for us.
Now, you're on a honeymoon in America. I hope you're happy with Ran-san. I'm also sorry, since we lost all contact. Perhaps you also know this is the best way to move on. I'm going to put my mind mostly in my career, probably, and I hope you stick to detective job too! Anyways, let's just move on with our lives, even if it isn't easy. Maybe it's meant to be this way. But I'll tell you... In our next lives, I will find you, and I will fight for us.
Oh, and Shinichi? I love you.
"May the best man win?" not quite, because this time,
The Best Man...
Lost.
EDIT~
Additional A/N: It might be confusing to most since I didn't put the actual reason why they won't just get together ^^" But it's because the true story I based it on was set in a judgemental society... so that's that. That's all
I'm also thinking of doing a sequel, though don't expect it soon. (Classes just started oh man college is hard OTL)
~Haruka
