Airplanes

Alaska was cold. Derek Morgan was a Chicago boy-he knew cold. So scratch 'cold' and insert 'frigging freezing in the middle of summer in the lower 48' and that would be about right.

He had also agreed to take the floor-which was cold-and let Garcia have the bed in their room. It was better then sleeping in the same room as Hotch, and since there was only one bed per room…

Garcia came in as Morgan was arranging his collection of pillows and blankets on the floor. She had on a hugely pink terrycloth robe, green goo slathered all over her face, and hair in pigtails.

She was also gorgeous.

"Well, hello Baby Girl," he gave her a sexy growl. She tossed back her head and laughed.

"Does Lynch know I've got you up here in the wilds of Alaska all to myself?" he continued, just to see her keep smiling.

"Oh, I told him you were keeping your hands firmly to yourself," she teased back, and there it was, the banter he'd missed since she'd gotten with Lynch, full throttle in his face.

"Just my hands? But that leaves so many other possibilities."

"Are you going to tell me about some of those possibilities?"

"Why tell when I can demonstrate?"

She sashayed over to him, nose to nose. "Maybe you should."

"Yeah, but what if Lynch has you radared and figures out that I'm messing with his girl? One thing I learned from you was to not make a techie mad at me."

"Radared?" she started laughing. "Sweetie, there is no such word as radared."

"See? That's why you run the computers and I kick in doors. Division of labor."

"Well, let me tell you, big boy, I am not in any way wired so that Kevin ever knows what we were doing up here. What happens in Alaska stays up here with the polar bears."

"So if I just," and he dove, scooping her up so that she yelped and he was holding her like a bride. "And then I-" and he dumped her on the bed and fell on top of her. "Lynch would never know, eh?"

She twisted her fingers around his neck. They were still giggling. "No, my prince, he would never, ever find out that I finally gave in to your godlike charms."

"I am charming, aren't I?"

There was maybe three inches between their faces. Morgan was suddenly aware of everything, including the toothpaste on her breath.

"I, uh," he shifted off quickly.

She bit her lip.

"Sorry, Baby Girl."

She had very pert eyes, and they looked right at him.

"Derek, go ahead and take the bed," she stood up. "I have to do some more work, and I work best at night."

"Garcia-"

She looked him square in the eye, hardly embarrassed. "I'll kick your very fine backside out when I'm ready to turn in. After taking pictures, of course."

"Right."

She went back to wash off the green goo from her face. When she came out, Derek was getting comfortable on the floor.

"Derek Morgan, did I not just tell you to take a spell on the bed?"

He shrugged. "Baby, I'll wind up on the floor anyhow."

"You men are all so damn stupid."

She gave him an evil look and prepared to flounce off. He caught her arm.

"What's going on? And don't say 'nothing'. I'm a profiler and that's a lie."

She waved her hands. "Kevin doesn't like me in the field with you guys. We had a fight just before I left."

"I'm sorry." In the back of his mind he was remembering Prentiss's advice: Shut up and listen.

"Yeah, the neighbors said they didn't call the cops because we were the FBI. Imagine being an agent and having the police show up for domestic disturbance."

"Are things okay between you and him now, or?…"

"I called him earlier. He apologized for yelling. I apologized for throwing the vase at him. He said he wouldn't ever yell like that again. I told him not if he expected to keep his wiener working. And the fact that I said that scared me so bad I hung up really quick."

"You threatened to go after Little Willie?"

"Why do guys name their wankers?"

"Why do women name their, um-"

"Boobs, Derek. They're called boobs."

"The last time I used that word I was twelve and my mom smacked me so hard I saw stars. I will never use that word again. Mom will come out of the woodwork and kill me for sure if I do."

She laughed. "But I guess Kevin and I are okay."

"Okay. Cause if you're not, I'm good at breaking down doors and scaring the hell out of people."

She punched his shoulder. "Use the bed, Morgan. Or I'll go after you're Little Willie. Better yet, I'll call Fran and tell her you used the word 'boobs'."

"That is just not cool, Baby Girl."

On her way out the door, she was briefly haloed by the warm lights of the hallway. Closing his eyes, he tried to go to sleep.

Author's Note: This set of oneshots is all based on 'Exit Wounds', and the day it aired was also the first time I heard 'Airplanes' by B O B and Haley of Paramour, so they got all linked up in my head. They all take place on the first night, before Garcia catches the unsub leaving a body in the front lawn.