Big Brother" Welcome to the Big Brother House lets introduce our new contestants...Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, the chosen one, the G-d of magic-"

Harry: Okay we got the point

Big Brother: sorcerer of wond-

Harry: SHUT THE HELL UP!

Big Brother: Well excuuuuuse me! Harry how do you feel about being on Big Brother

Harry: do I need more publicity

Big Brother: huh your full of your self... Our next contestant is the Dark Lord, You Know who, He who must not be named, arguably the most powerful wizard of all its thhhhhheeeeeeeeeee Dark Lord Voldemort. So voldedude are you happy to be on our great show?

Voldemort: its a muggle show! It reeks of dirty bloody! BUT I CAN NOW AT LAST KILL POTTER MWOOOHAHAHAHA

Big Brother: I see that you are a man of severe mental disorder the public always like an interesting person. Our next contestant is the smartest witch we know, the frizziest headed, the muggle born, mud blooded... Hemione Granger! Hermy how do you feel about our show

Hermione: It rots the brain its been scientifically proven

Big Brother: Do you enjoy being an insufferable know-it-all?

Hermione: Well it beats being a man with a girl's voice, 'big brother' yeh right shouldn't it be big sister

Big Brother: the next contestant is the only Weasly daughter Miss Ginevra Weasley

Ginny: Is that all you could think of

Big Brother: who loves Harry Potter...how do you feel about our show

Ginny: Its a tad sad

Big Brother: Snort. Our next contestant is Lavender Brown, who is totally boring and needs some high lights

Lavender: sniff thats mean

Big Brother: Why are you even here?

Lavender: To unleash my burning love for some people in the house

Big Brother: Let me guess...Harry Potter?

Lavender: no

Big Brother: Ron?

Lavender: No

Big Brother: Oh I get it Draco...huh thats such a clishe I mean really why does every one like Draco he is a slime ball

Lavender: nope

Big Brother: sigh Sirius Black

Lavender no...do you give up?

Big Brother:sigh yes...but wait i do not want to know if it is myself

Lavender: ew your a man with a woman's voice...no I love...Tom Marvolo Riddle. Voldemort. I want to die in your arms

Voldemort: You d-do?

Lavender: of course not right away

(Voldemort and Lavender sigh longingly into eachother's eyes)

Big Brother: Anyhoo next contestant the one the only, the ultimate muggle Vernon Dursley

Vernon:Why the ruddy hell am I here

Big Brother: to learn about wizards and stuff

Vernon: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR KILL WIZARDS

Big Brother: sigh you strange sad little man our next contestant is Severus Snape...Snape what made you come to the Big Brother House

Snape: to keep an eye on these futile children

Voldemort and Vernon: Hey

Snape: be quiet Riddle, Dursley or you'll have double detention

Big brother; ooo Snape knows how to stand up to the Dark Lord better than HP or Dumbles... only three more contestants now...the ultimate pure bloods Draco Malfoy and Sirius Black and Ronald Weasley

Sirius: Why were we introduced together?

Draco: yeh. I am a pure blood so why the hell am I with blood traitors

Big Brother: shut up you slime ball besides you lot are related...lets see you are a bunch of misfits aren't you? Slime Ball, mass murderer and...I don't have clue what you are Ronald. Draco tell us about your self

Draco: This place stinks like muggles, blood traitors, mud bloods and half bloods

Big Brother: Be careful Draco! Viewers don't like contestants who are moody...but then again your are sooooo hott

Draco: Ew your a man with a girl's voice I would never in a billion years go out with you

Big Brother: Oh well I expected that...Sirius you're also quite a looker despite being in Azkaban for a billion years

Sirius: yeesh

Big Brother: oh well let the games begin