Big Brother" Welcome to the Big Brother House lets introduce our new contestants...Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, the chosen one, the G-d of magic-"
Harry: Okay we got the point
Big Brother: sorcerer of wond-
Harry: SHUT THE HELL UP!
Big Brother: Well excuuuuuse me! Harry how do you feel about being on Big Brother
Harry: do I need more publicity
Big Brother: huh your full of your self... Our next contestant is the Dark Lord, You Know who, He who must not be named, arguably the most powerful wizard of all its thhhhhheeeeeeeeeee Dark Lord Voldemort. So voldedude are you happy to be on our great show?
Voldemort: its a muggle show! It reeks of dirty bloody! BUT I CAN NOW AT LAST KILL POTTER MWOOOHAHAHAHA
Big Brother: I see that you are a man of severe mental disorder the public always like an interesting person. Our next contestant is the smartest witch we know, the frizziest headed, the muggle born, mud blooded... Hemione Granger! Hermy how do you feel about our show
Hermione: It rots the brain its been scientifically proven
Big Brother: Do you enjoy being an insufferable know-it-all?
Hermione: Well it beats being a man with a girl's voice, 'big brother' yeh right shouldn't it be big sister
Big Brother: the next contestant is the only Weasly daughter Miss Ginevra Weasley
Ginny: Is that all you could think of
Big Brother: who loves Harry Potter...how do you feel about our show
Ginny: Its a tad sad
Big Brother: Snort. Our next contestant is Lavender Brown, who is totally boring and needs some high lights
Lavender: sniff thats mean
Big Brother: Why are you even here?
Lavender: To unleash my burning love for some people in the house
Big Brother: Let me guess...Harry Potter?
Lavender: no
Big Brother: Ron?
Lavender: No
Big Brother: Oh I get it Draco...huh thats such a clishe I mean really why does every one like Draco he is a slime ball
Lavender: nope
Big Brother: sigh Sirius Black
Lavender no...do you give up?
Big Brother:sigh yes...but wait i do not want to know if it is myself
Lavender: ew your a man with a woman's voice...no I love...Tom Marvolo Riddle. Voldemort. I want to die in your arms
Voldemort: You d-do?
Lavender: of course not right away
(Voldemort and Lavender sigh longingly into eachother's eyes)
Big Brother: Anyhoo next contestant the one the only, the ultimate muggle Vernon Dursley
Vernon:Why the ruddy hell am I here
Big Brother: to learn about wizards and stuff
Vernon: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR KILL WIZARDS
Big Brother: sigh you strange sad little man our next contestant is Severus Snape...Snape what made you come to the Big Brother House
Snape: to keep an eye on these futile children
Voldemort and Vernon: Hey
Snape: be quiet Riddle, Dursley or you'll have double detention
Big brother; ooo Snape knows how to stand up to the Dark Lord better than HP or Dumbles... only three more contestants now...the ultimate pure bloods Draco Malfoy and Sirius Black and Ronald Weasley
Sirius: Why were we introduced together?
Draco: yeh. I am a pure blood so why the hell am I with blood traitors
Big Brother: shut up you slime ball besides you lot are related...lets see you are a bunch of misfits aren't you? Slime Ball, mass murderer and...I don't have clue what you are Ronald. Draco tell us about your self
Draco: This place stinks like muggles, blood traitors, mud bloods and half bloods
Big Brother: Be careful Draco! Viewers don't like contestants who are moody...but then again your are sooooo hott
Draco: Ew your a man with a girl's voice I would never in a billion years go out with you
Big Brother: Oh well I expected that...Sirius you're also quite a looker despite being in Azkaban for a billion years
Sirius: yeesh
Big Brother: oh well let the games begin
