A/N: This story came out of me on a whim one night when I was tired and had been inspired to write. I hope you enjoy it as much as I love writing it, because believe me, I LOVE WRITING IT! It mainly started as a little experiment to get my mind rolling again after a 3 year hiatus from writing, and I'm already working on chapter 2! With much love to my friends who keep me going, the music that inspires me, and Stephenie Meyer for coming up with these amazing characters that I love playing with, I present to you Striptease!!
As we ALL know, Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight! I just own my crazy imagination that tends to put her characters in new situations!
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Alright! This is my Prologue! Slight warning: I'm going a little OOC with the characters here, but it's only because I want a little more depth. That's all the justification you get!
Thank you to my WONDERFUL beta, and friend, xrxdanixrx. Without you this would not be possible!!! I LOVE YOU!
Go check out her a-MA-zing AH fic "Here We Go Again". It always makes me happy!
What if I had never left Bella?
What if I'd caved into my true feelings because I couldn't stand to see her perfect, angelic face screwed up in the pain that my words--no--my lies had caused?
The answer: I would be a happy man. I wouldn't have been consumed by my grief and self-hatred that caused me to shut off my own family. It was as if someone had died. It certainly felt like it had, only instead of someone, it was something:
My heart.
Though it was non-existent, it didn't prevent the pain I felt from committing such a high form of blasphemy. For years I'd argued with Carlisle whether vampires have a soul or not, my argument being the latter. But now I'm starting to see his side because I can't believe that any creature without a soul could ever feel this level of pain: remorse.
I deserved it tenfold.
For the first six months, I was a complete recluse. I ran away from everything: my family, Forks, my beloved, and civilization itself. I couldn't bring myself to make my family deal with my depression. Nothing worked, not that I should ever get off that easily. So, I went to find my family living in Denali, Alaska with our "extended family". Though I didn't want to deal with Tanya and her crude advances toward me, it was certainly worth seeing the relief on my parent's faces when they saw me walk in. But I was still broken. I hardly hunted, if at all, and Emmett's taunts to get me to wrestle did nothing for me like they once would have. Even Tanya gave up after a while, which was a relief.
Six more months passed, a year since that day. I'd specifically asked Alice to not look for Bella's future, but bless her, sometimes she couldn't help herself. She loves Bella almost as much as I. Thankfully she kept it to herself, concentrating on other things.
So it was a complete shock when she came bursting into my room looking like she was having a heart attack. She'd seen something and was torn between telling me, and not.
"Go away, Alice..." I said. My voice was a stranger to me.
"Oh Edward, I didn't mean to I promise! But I can't keep this one away and it's only a matter of time before you saw it anyway and -"
"What is it then?" I didn't really want to hear it. For all I knew, Bella had done what I had meant for her to and moved on, living a normal life.
Then I saw it.
It was as if someone had punched me in the stomach. Bella, my Bella was being thrown around and beaten. From Alice's point of view I couldn't tell who her assailant was but it didn't matter. I had to do something.
Didn't I?
Alice looked at me for a second. "No. We can't Edward, we left her! No, you made us leave her!" She was on me then, throwing punches left and right, and I took them. Soon she broke down and began crying in my arms.
"I can't believe you made us leave. I hate you Edward!" And I was alone then, to wallow in what I'd done, what I'd just seen.
What could I do? I couldn't just waltz back into her life after what I'd done to her, though I wished for it with every fiber of my being. At the time I'd felt what I did was the right thing to do. We were too dangerous for her, especially since her scent was so inviting. Poor Jasper, he never stood a chance on her 18th birthday. What I wouldn't give just to go back in time and replay that moment. Surely there had to be a different way to protect her.
But that was in the past now. As Carlisle told me many times, "It doesn't do any good to dwell on the past, there's nothing you can change. All you can do now is go forward and make the best with what you have and will get in the future."
Maybe what Alice saw was a fluke. She hadn't been "seeing" well lately anyway.
Would you really bet against Alice?
No.
Then why are you now?
A/N: Whatcha think, bb's? Let me know by pressing that little button below that says REVIEW!!! I'll bake you cookies!! (Who doesn't love a little shameless bribing? lmao)
