Author's Note: If you know Gilmore Girls well, then you'll also know that there is a discontinuity error about how many years ago Luke and Lorelai met. In "Written in the Stars," Luke says he met Lorelai eight years ago, which would have made Rory about eleven or twelve at the time; later in Season Five, Lorelai refers to Luke having difficulty with Rory growing up, after having known her when she was ten and wearing angel wings and going door-to-door inviting people to her caterpillar's funeral. Of course, you can argue that Lorelai got Rory's age wrong, but still kinda weird, don't you think?
While I normally agree that Lorelai's and Luke's first meeting occured when Rory was around eleven, a "What if Rory had met Luke first?", as well as my love of little Rory and Luke's and Rory's relationship, led me to write this story. While I do reference Luke's first meeting with Lorelai (a la the famous "Gimme a cup of coffee"/horoscope at the diner) at the end of this, a scene which appears in my other fic "When You See Her Face," this fic and that one aren't directly related. Just two versions of a similar thing. :)
And as a disclaimer, no, I sadly do not own Gilmore Girls; if I did, it would still be running (I'd find some way to get Lauren and Alexis to keep renewing their contracts), and Luke and Lorelai would be married with a little boy named Will and a little girl who you will meet in another one of the oneshots that I'm halfway through working on (what can I say? I've been inspired a lot lately!). And Rory would be done with her campaign reporting by now and would be working on some newspaper of her choice and would probably also be dating someone-Rogan or Lit, you decide (or Marty/Tristian/Finn/Colin/Dean/whoever). And we would have learned what gender and name Sookie's and Jackson's next child is. And Paul Anka would appears lots and lots, with even more fears and allergies, because I just love that little dog. And did I mention Luke and Lorelai would be married?
And...I'm running out of things now. But clearly, I don't own Gilmore Girls, and I can't pretend I do.
P.S. I hated writing about Luke being with Rachel-not that you even see Rachel and Luke together in this story. The references were painful, though. Just FYI.
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Sometimes, when he was alone at night, Luke was nagged by memories of his parents. They were not always the bad memories of when they had gotten sick and died, but sometimes, good memories of his childhood.
How he and Liz had ran through sprinklers during the summer, before any tension between them set in. How, though more keen on town events than Luke, his father had done the best Taylor Doosie impression he had ever heard. How his mother had taught him how to cook.
In the day, Luke knew who he was. He was the solitary man whose only companions were the less than reliable Rachel and the clingy Kirk, who, though painfully present, was not anyone whom Luke considered a friend. He didn't want to deal with jam hands or changing diapers, and he doubted Rachel did, either.
Still, at night alone, he sometimes wondered. Would he be alone, waiting for Rachel to settle down, forever? Or would he ever have what his parents had had? And if he ever did have what his parents had, would it all end in the same way his parents' happiness did?
He wished for daytime, because it was only then that he was able to maintain a clear head. He wished for Rachel to spend the nights beside, as it would keep him from being alone. Still, the night always came, along with his unsettled thoughts, and there was nothing Luke could do about it.
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It was on a seemingly regular day in April that his two worlds-his thoughts during the night and his thoughts during the day-collided for the first time. Luke was hard at work, fixing one of Babette's windows in her bedroom. Babette had claimed that she wanted to keep him occupied from thinking of Rachel, who was gone on yet another one of her photography missions-though her grin to Miss Patty suggested overwise. Still, Luke found himself agreeing. Although his diner had been open for a year now, he still wanted to keep up on expenses and pick up any extra cash he could get his hands on.
Luke was just trying to shoo off Babette's damn distracting cat, who was standing at the foot of the ladder he was working on, when he heard the doorbell ring. He heard Babette's muffled voice and another he did not recognize discussing something. A few minutes later, Babette appeared in the room. Luke reeled in surprise when he saw the figure next to her.
She was a small girl, who could not have been more than ten, with light brown hair tied back in a ponytail and bright blue eyes. She was wearing a pink shirt with a butterfly on it and blue jeans. But the most striking thing about her outfit was the fluffy, white angel wings strapped around her arms. Never, in Luke's entire life, had he seen a kid wearing something so ridiculous for such a random occassion before. Yet instead of the expected annoyance he was so used to feeling whenever confronted with kids and their frippery, he felt an unexpected pang of tenderness. There was something about this kid, with her intent face and shining blue eyes, that Luke was drawn to. Something about her seriousness that brought himself as a child to mind.
"Oh, I don't suppose you've met Luke?" said Babette, noticing the way the little girl and Luke were both eyeing each other. Luke, by now, had gotten off the ladder, so he stood a few feet away from the little girl and Babette.
When they both shook their heads, Babette said, "Luke, this is Rory Gilmore, Lorelai's-well, I don't suppose you've met Lorelai, but she works at the Independence Inn-daughter. Is Cinnamon around? Rory wanted to see her. It's the darnest thing how well Rory and Cinnamon have taken to each other."
The cat in question, upon hearing her name, immediately walked over to Rory. The little girl's eyes lit up as she knelt down and began petting the cat. Luke found he could not take his eyes off of her. He had never seen such a wide smile on a little kid before.
"So, do you live near Babette?" Luke found himself asking Rory, curious how she had arrived to Babette's alone. Rory looked up with a nervous look on her face; Babette quickly responded for her.
"Lorelai drove her over, but she's out lookin' at the house next door," Babette said, then lowered her voice. "Little sweet pea's very shy. I think the real reason Lorelai dropped her off is to help her be more independent. Funniest thing, though. You'd never know she's shy once you get her goin'."
"Oh," said Luke, nodding. He'd had his shy days as a kid, too, though he had never been talkative, even when he did know people well. Rory continued petting Cinnamon, oblivious. Rory. What an interesting name. Strange also that he'd never seen her before, considering Stars Hallow's size. Maybe she and her mom had recently moved.
"Rory came over to give me an invitation to her caterpillar's funeral," said Babette, in an obvious effort to include Rory in the conversation. Luke gave a start at this strange news. "She made such a beautiful card too, all homemade and everythin'. It's so pretty I think I'm gonna have to hang it up where everyone can see it."
"It's no big deal, really," said Rory, shrugging. Babette shook her head and smiled at the little girl.
"Rory here is talented at anythin' she puts her mind to," Babette said, taking Luke aback with the amount of pride in her voice. By the tone in her voice, Luke would have thought Rory was her daughter, not just some random kid who came over with an invitation to a bug's funeral. "She's the smartest girl in her class, and I couldn't even read half of the books she reads. She's gonna go to Harvard someday."
"Really?" said Luke, now intrigued. He had never met anyone from Stars Hallow with such lofty ambitions before. Most people from Stars Hallow hadn't even gone to college, let alone dreamed about attending such a prestigious school.
The little girl nodded shyly. "I mean, I hope I'm going to go there," she corrected herself quickly. "I have to get in and everything first. But if I do, that's where I'll go."
"You will," Babette assured her. "I've never met a girl so destined for Harvard before. I mean, the things you read!
"I'm gonna go make you a cup of hot chocolate," she said, heading towards the door. "You coming or are you staying with Cinnamon?"
"I think I'll stay with Cinnamon," said Rory shyly. Luke and Rory watched as Babette exited the door.
They were silent for a good few minutes; Rory was immersed in petting Cinnamon, and Luke was struggling with what to say. It had been a long time since he'd been required to have a conversation with a little girl, and he didn't want to screw this up. Finally, he said, trying not to concentrate on how ridiculous it sounded, "Uh, I'm sorry about your caterpillar."
Rory shrugged, and her angel wings began to slip. "It's okay. I was lucky enough to have him for a few days-or her, I don't know how to tell with caterpillars. Mostly, I'm just sad he was never able to become a butterfly. I bet that's the best time of a caterpillar's life."
"Yeah, that is sad, all right," Luke said, reaching out to adjust Rory's angel straps. She looked at him in surprise. Luke felt himself flushing. He had no idea what had provoked him to do such an uncharacteristic move. His hands had started fixing Rory's wings before his mind could keep up.
Speaking again to clear up the awkwardness, Luke said, "So, uh, did your caterpillar have a name?"
Rory shook her head. "I just called him Caterpillar, since that's what the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland is called. My mom wanted to call him Paul Anka, but I wouldn't let her." Her eyes intent, Rory said, "She's really obsessed with him."
Luke blinked at this news, surprised that a.) this little girl knew who Paul Anka was, and b.) that her mother had wanted to name a caterpillar after him, of all things. "Well, I'm sure your dad doesn't appreciate it that very much," he said, at a loss for what else to say.
He knew he had said something wrong from the way Rory's face fell. "Actually, my dad doesn't live with us," she said quietly. "I wish he could come to my caterpillar's funeral too, but we don't even know where he is right now."
"Oh," said Luke. While he knew he was prying, his curiosity got the better of him. "Did your parents get divorced? I mean, I was just wondering why I'd never seen you or your mom around before and was thinking that maybe you'd just moved here or something."
"No, we've always lived here," said Rory, looking sadder still. Luke cursed himself for making things worse, once again. What the hell was wrong with him today? "And my parents were never married. My mom was only sixteen when she had me, and my grandma and grandpa wanted her to get married, but she didn't. We just live in Mia's potting shed at the Independence Inn, so we don't get out much, except I know Babette from when I used to take dance classes at Miss Patty's." Brightening up, she said, "But Mom and I are trying to find a real house! And it's really fun being just with her, because we get to do a lot of stuff like eat junk food all the time and watch our favorite movies, which we never would have gotten to do if we had someone else around. I just miss my dad sometimes."
"I'll bet," said Luke, thinking of how hard it had been for him after his parents died. Rory gave Cinnamon another pat on the head.
"So, what is it you do, anyway?" Rory said, proving correct Babette's statement about her being chatty once she got going. It made Luke feel good that she already felt comfortable enough to talk around him-that maybe he hadn't screwed up so much by asking the wrong questions, after all. She motioned to his ladder and toolbox. "Is your job fixing things?"
"Actually, I just opened a diner," Luke said. "I named it after me, so it's called Luke's, and it's right by Doosie's Market. I just do things like this for a little extra cash sometimes."
"Oh!" said Rory, looking interested now. "Mom saw the sign once, and she really wanted to go in, cause she loves coffee, and she figured you must have some, because of the sign being in the shape of a coffee cup and all. We just can't really afford expenses like going out now, with saving up for our house and everything. But maybe someday!"
Luke was filled with an enormous pang of compassion for the little girl before him. "Yeah," he said, "maybe someday."
Before he could say anything else, Babette's voice echoed into the room. "Rory doll, your hot chocolate is ready!"
"I guess I'd better go now," said Rory, giving Cinnamon a final pat on the head. "Maybe I'll come into your diner someday."
"Uh, right," said Luke, still recovering from the uncharacteristic sadness that was filling him about this girl leaving. "Hey, uh, I hope the service goes well."
Rory studied him for a few moments before speaking. "Do you think you can maybe come? I mean, if you want to. Lots of people I don't know are coming too-Mom and I just went door-to-door handing out invitations-so you won't be alone or anything. Mia's letting us have it at the Independence Inn tomorrow at noon. I'm on spring break, so I get to have it on a school day."
On a normal day, Luke would have tried to stiffen a laugh. He would not have hesitated to turn down the crazy little kid asking him to her caterpillar's funeral. Today, he found himself thinking about how nice it would have been for someone to have helped fill in as a mother, when he was a kid. There was no doubt in his mind that Rory was headed down a better path than Liz or Jess, but if there was anything he could do to ease her way, he was glad to do it.
"Uh, sure, I'll be there," Luke said, and he was startled when the little girl's entire face lit up. "I mean, I have to see if Caesar can cover, but I don't see why he couldn't."
Rory was grinning now. "Thanks Luke!" she said excitedly. "I really need to get to my hot chocolate or it'll get cold, but I'm really glad you're gonna come. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, you'll see me tomorrow," said Luke, but Rory ran out of the room before she could hear the rest of his statement.
He sighed and sat down on the bottom step of the hammer. A fresh headache was coming on, and he was not sure what to do about it. Though he heard Rory's mother coming in a few minutes later, he stayed put working in Babette's room and did not come out until well after both girls had left.
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Luke was surprised when he arrived at the Independence Inn the next morning just how many people were there. The whole scene looked like it had been played by a professional party planner, with the sign that read "Caterpillar's Funeral," complete with a little doodle of a caterpillar next to it, and the many refreshments stationed on an outside table. When Rory had told him about going door-to-door handing out invitations, he'd doubted many people would actually come. Clearly, most people were much nicer than he was.
The first part of the service took place behind the Inn, in the area where weddings were usually held. Rory stood up on top of a rock to get a better view and gave them a whole opening speech about how glad she was that everyone could come and just how sad she was that her caterpillar hadn't lived a longer life. She was not wearing angel wings today, but a sparkly black dress and a matching ribbon in her hair. After that, a little Korean girl whom Luke recognized as Mrs. Kim's daughter gave another speech. An older voice, which had to be Rory's mom, went next, but she hadn't stepped onto the rock like Rory and Lane had. Various people had also begun to swarm in front of him, and he was having trouble seeing.
The actual burial took place under a tree, a few yards away from the service. By then, seeing was absolutely impossible, since everyone was crowded around a much smaller place. After hearing a comment about Sookie cooking the food, Luke cynically could not help wondering if that was what had brought people here, but he had to admit, people seemed pretty charmed by Rory and Lane. Maybe it was high time he made an effort to stop being the Grinch.
Luke clutched the bag he had brought, feeling stupid about expecting Rory to even remember him with all the people here, but to his surprise, she caught a glance at him out of the corner of her eye when people were departing after the burial took place. "Luke, you came!" she said, approaching him excitedly. The tears she had shed during the burial seemed to be fading away.
"Yeah, I came," said Luke, a little awkwardly. Lane was waiting for Rory a few feet away, Rory's mother still not visible. He held out his bag. "Uh, I didn't realize there was going to be food here, and I probably didn't put the right things on, and who knows, you probably don't even eat meat, but, well…I got to thinking about how it's probably gonna be a while before you can go to my diner, so I brought a hamburger for you."
Rory looked as though he'd given her a hundred bucks. "Oh my gosh, thank you!" she said, taking the bag. "And don't worry, I'm definitely not a vegetarian-neither Mom or I know how vegetarians survive." She turned back to her friend. "Look Lane! Look what Luke got me!"
Luke felt bad as he looked at the other girl. "Sorry, I would have gotten two, but I didn't know it was your caterpillar too. Rory just came by herself, so I just assumed…"
"That's okay," said Lane. Lane's dress, though also black like Rory, was made of velvet and did not possess the same sparkles or youthful quality that Rory's did. On the contrary, she looked a little like a young widow, who had just come back from her husband's funeral. "My mother doesn't like me eating red meat. He was mostly Rory's caterpillar, and my mother wouldn't let me knock on people's doors with her. She says that asking for charity when I already have so much is an insult to the Lord."
"Well, I was going to say that you and Rory can share it, but maybe that's not such a good idea," said Luke. Even after growing up in Stars Hallow and knowing the characters who inhabited it, he was always taken aback by the values of Mrs. Kim.
"I can't wait to share these French fries with my mom," said Rory, oblivious to the conversation around her. "She loves French fries, and we haven't had them in ages, not since we splurged and got a French fry maker, but those came out awful, anyway. I don't know what we were thinking, since my mom can hardly make popcorn without it burning, let alone do anything close to cook."
"Where is your mom, anyway?" Luke said, looking around again, unable to find anyone who resembled Rory. In spite of himself, he was intrigued by this woman who had not only gotten pregnant at sixteen and supervised a caterpillar's funeral, but had also wanted to name a caterpillar after Paul Anka and had managed to consistently burn popcorn. Rory frowned, searching, but then her eyes brightened.
"There she is!" said Rory, pointing a few yards away, where a tall, dark haired woman woman in her mid twenties was talking to Sookie, Mia, and a scowling black man. The rest of the funeral crowd was still leaving and had kept on passing them, which had made them difficult to spot.
Luke found his gaze focused on Rory's mother after the last of the crowd went away. She seemed to be laughing about something, and her curls were bouncing in the wind. He had never seen a woman looked so relaxed while laughing before. I bet she's a really good mom to Rory, he found himself thinking.
He forced himself to turn back to Rory and Lane, who were now looking at him. "Listen," he said, struggling with his decision before deciding on it, "don't tell your mom-either of them, I guess-about the hamburger, okay? I'd just feel better if you didn't. Hide it over here or something."
Both of them frowned. "Well, okay," said Rory, "but I don't understand. You did a really nice thing."
Luke fought with his own conflicting emotions. "I just don't want your mom to feel like she needs to do something in return," he said finally. "I know how parents are, how real protective they are of their kids, and the thing is-I wanted to do it. Not to get any attention, but because I wanted to. I just need to get back to the diner, and I just don't want the thanking to take any extra time." Rory's mom must have cracked the joke this time. Sookie and Mia began laughing, and the black man-though still tense-appeared to be fighting to control his own amusement.
"I guess I can understand," said Rory slowly, "but if Mom asks, I'm going to tell her. I don't want to lie."
"I understand," said Luke, still watching Rory's mom. "I just meant if she doesn't."
Both Lane and Rory were equally appreciative of Luke and called out, "Bye, Luke!" as he left. Though he had felt confident about his decision before, Luke began to question his motives as he started to walk away.
When he was walking past the group on the way to his truck, Rory's mom surprised him by looking in his direction. She frowned and looked surprised when their eyes met. Luke was trying to calm his own emotions. Her eyes, even brighter and bluer than Rory's, had caused a whole gathering of butterflies to beat wildly in his chest. He was having trouble drawing his gaze away from her relaxed, shining face. Though Luke knew it was illogical and that he had Rachel, he had never felt such a strong pang of alertness recognition upon seeing someone for the first time before. He was both relieved and disappointed-in the same way he had felt about his decision to keep his kindness a secret-when Rory's mom finally looked away.
Luke's legs went all disjointed. He had to catch his breath to calm down his racing heart before he started the car.
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He thought of it again that night. He thought of a wife, children, the whole package. Images of Rory's shining face came whirling into his mind, and he considered whether he had been too hasty in his decision not to have kids. Maybe it was time he made a move soon; maybe he should try giving Rachel a ring. Though he wasn't exactly surprised when she did not accept it after he finally proposed a good six months later, he felt his heart breaking in two yet again.
He saw Rory a few times after that, usually accompanied by Mia or Lane. A few times, she saw him, but on other occasions, she did not. On the events that she did see him, he could only force a smile and wave, still confused by the many feelings Rory had brought up for him.
Still, he never saw Rory accompanied by her mother. Whether it was because of luck or the fact that on the few times Luke did hear what had to be Rory's mother's voice, he had avoided her, he and Rory's mother did not come face-to-face. Whether this was a good thing or not, he was not at all sure.
It would be a good year and a half before he and Lorelai Gilmore would finally come face-to-face.
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It was a crazy rush on a fall day. Person after person had piled into the diner, all eager for food. Luke was struggling to take a woman's order when a strangely familiar voice interrupted him. He ignored her, but she spoke again, this time rambling about a need for coffee. Unable to concentrate on the order because of the jabbering, he slammed down his pen.
He turned around, prepared to give her a piece of his mind, but that was when he found himself face-to-face with a familiar set of glistening blue eyes.
"Hi, Duke," she purred, giving him a big smile. "Are you ready to give me my coffee now?"
That was how everything would start.
