Disclaimer: I do not own xxxHolic or One Piece. I don't own the teeny, tiny bit of Harry Potter I used either.

Summary: Watanuki stumbles across a straw hat that seems oddly familiar. Revelations occur. A somewhat cracked crossover with One Piece.

A/N: This is one of the whacked-out crossover theories that I like to toss around from time to time. Hopefully I managed to make it semi-plausible. Enjoy!


The Price You Pay

Not for the first time, Watanuki cursed Yuuko's excessive drinking habits.

"You know what would go especially well with this exquisite meal?" Yuuko smiled sweetly, giving off an air of innocence that Watanuki knew to be a bold-faced facade

Mokona bounced up and down in delight. "What? What?"

Her long arms flew up in celebration. "Nettle wine!"(1)

Watanuki felt a vein throb dangerously in his forehead. She had already gone through three bottled of sake that day. "YOU WANT TO DRINK AGAIN?"

Yuuko giggled at his outburst. "That's a rather silly question, don't you think?" She took a bite of her beef teriyaki, making a happy little sound as she chewed. "Delicious," she said after she was done. "Simply delicious. You've outdone yourself, Watanuki-kun."

He sighed, even as a slight flush of embarrassed appreciation spread across his cheeks. There was absolutely no use in arguing. Why did he even bother?

"The wine is in a red box in the storeroom."

He trudged off to retrieve the liquor, growling a little. He didn't much like Yuuko's storeroom. It was dank and dusty and had the tendency to contain items of a strange or volatile nature. He had once been bitten by a book in Yuuko's storeroom. The place was also poorly organized (at least to Watanuki's eyes), and he had more than once come close to tripping and breaking some priceless treasure accidentally.

Like now, for instance.

Wine in a red case...wine in a red case...Ah, there it is! Aargh! WHY THE HECK IS IT ON THE TOP SHELF?

He balanced on the tips of his toes and reached his right arm as far as he could, grabbing onto the middle shelf for support. It was too late that he realized that he had not grabbed the shelf at all, but something on the shelf. He was already toppling backwards, the wine in one hand and the mysterious object in the other. For a moment, all he was aware of was a rush of musty air against his face and a dizzying flurry of motion in front of his eyes. Then, a searing pain exploded in his backside.

"I----TAI!" He exclaimed, dropping both items to the floor so that he could rub his lower back. It would be bruised for weeks, no doubt. He blessed his lucky stars that some boxes had cushioned his fall. After a minute or two of soothing his aching behind, his attention returned to the two objects that he had dropped.

To his relief, the wine had not been damaged inany significant way. The other object was also unharmed.

It was a straw hat.

Watanuki picked it up and ran a hand over it, feeling its worn, rough texture. His fingers traced the red ribbon that encircled the rim. It was stained and weathered from years of constant use. His breath caught in his throat as a wave of familiarity washed over him. His hands trembled slightly. His eyes were unblinking, transfixed.

"Watanuki-kun!" called Yuuko, breaking Watanuki from his reverie. "Did you find it?"

He scrambled off the floor and hastily picked up the case of wine. "Yes!" he called back. He made his way back to the patio.

When he arrived, Yuuko and Mokona were already onto dessert. When he handed Yuuko the wine she noticed the hat in his other hand. He had not even realized he still had it.

Yuuko set the wine down and smiled that slow, mysterious smile she donned whenever she knew something that Watanuki didn't.

"I see you found it. I was wondering when you would."

Watanuki's annoyance was eclipsed by curiosity. "Eh?" he asked intelligently.

"I received that hat as the payment for granting a pirate his wish."

Watanuki was not quite sure why, but those words made him feel giddy. Butterflies erupted in his stomach. He swallowed. "What was his wish?" he asked, without really meaning to.

She reached out to grip his chin, lifting his head slightly so that she could look him in the eyes. "His wish? He wanted to be reborn with his nakama."

The word nakama struck a chord within him. Watanuki frowned. "And all you wanted was his hat?"

She let go of his chin, leaning back to lounge on her make-shift throne. "There were other conditions, of course. But the hat was the only payment that could be kept in a storeroom." She cocked her head. "You seem unusually interested, Watanuki-kun. Could it be that this hat holds some special significance to you?"

He could tell by her tone that she already knew the answer. Again, he found himself speaking without really meaning to. "What was his name?"

Yuuko quirked an elegant eyebrow. "There is a price for that knowledge, Watanuki-kun." Yuuko had a thing about names.

He found himself unable to care. It was probably going to be more time tacked onto his servitude, like always. "What was his name?" he repeated.

"His name.." she trailed off, eyeing him with fond amusement. Watanuki waited with baited breath. "His name," she continued, "was Monkey D. Luffy."

The name was like a spark to a powder keg. He fell to the floor, clutching his head with trembling hands. Visions, unbidden, came into his mind's eye. They were disjointed and hazy, but their meaning was infinitely clear. Breathing hard, he looked up at the dimension witch.

"It's me, isn't it?" He looked at the hat that had been dropped unceremoniously beside him, and suddenly felt guilty. He picked it up, dusting off dirt that almost certainly wasn't on it. But it seemed like an appropriate thing to do anyway. "I am..." that didn't sound quite right. "...I was Monkey D. Luffy."

Yuuko clapped her hands together and gave him a blindingly cheerful smile. "Watanuki-kun is so smart!"

Wait a minute. I--uh...he...um--Luffy paid a price to be reborn with his nakama, right? So, that means...

In his mind, an image of Doumeki appeared translucently over an image of a green-haired swordsman. After this, Himawari appeared over an image of a black-haired woman with many arms. The former made him boggle with outrage. So much so that he didn't fully register the latter.

"You mean to tell me that I actually payed to bereborn with Doumeki?" It was utterly preposterous!

Yuuko looked even more amused. "I do believe you already know the answer to that question."

He did. But that didn't mean he was happy about it. His mind summoned the latter image again, and this time the implications illicited a far more pleasant reaction.

"A--aah! I always knew that Himawari-chan and I were soulmates!" Watanuki sparkled. Yuuko's expression sobered somewhat. Watanuki noticed. His glazed expression disappeared, replaced with a thoughtful one. The black-haired woman, he recalled with some effort, had experienced a terribly difficult life. Why then, if the laws of karma held true, was Himawari born with the curse of bringing anybody who she touched bad luck? Surely she deserved some kind of respite, considering the anguish that she had been subjected to in her previous life?

Yuuko, in that eerie way she often did, seemed to have his thoughts. "The price," she said enigmatically, "must be of equal value to the purchase. The karmic debt created by Nico Robin's suffering has been repaid to Himawari in the forms of her family, her friends, her perceived normality, and the ease with which she survives from day to day. Her mundane life--the one removed from the supernatural-- is a very happy one when examined objectively. Himawari's affliction is a supernatural one, and therefore has a supernatural cause. Tell me, Watanuki-kun, what supernatural gift was given to your nakama for which she did not pay an equal price?"

And just like that, it dawned on him. "The Devil's Fruit. She's paying the price for being a Devil's Fruit user!" But wait, that couldn't be right. "I thought the price for the Devil's Fruit was becoming a hammer in the water."

"That is part of the price, yes. But certainly not all of it. There is a reason why they are called Devil's Fruit. There is a reason why they are considered to be cursed." She looked him in the eyes once more. "I wonder...if one were granted the ability to be virtually impervious to physical harm, if one were given incredible, no, supernatural brute strength-- what would the price for such abilities be? What do you think, Watanuki-kun?"

It felt as if he had just been dunked into an ocean of icy water. His throat went dry, but he spoke anyway. "The price--" His voice cracked. He swallowed thickly. "The price would be...to be given an enemy who is completely unaffected by physical strength, and who attacks without the use of a physical body." He licked his lips self-consciously. "The price would be to become aware of malevolent spirits, but be completely powerless to stop them from haunting you."

This time, Yuuko's smile looked a little bit sad. "Very good, Watanuki-kun. You really are a bright boy."

"So the reason why I'm haunted by spirits is because I ate the Gomu Gomu fruit in a past life?"

"In part. Remember: There are no coincedences. There is only hitsuzen."

Watanuki was not sure how he felt about that, so he moved onto his next question. "If Luffy paid a price to be reborn with his nakama, how come I've only met with two of them?"

The melancholy that had briefly touched Yuuko disapeared. "He wished be reborn with his nakama. Those were the terms set down in his purchase-- not that he would become friends with them, or even meet them, for that matter. I assure you, they all exist in this time and place-- but it your choices, and hitsuzen, that will determine whether you meet them again or not."

Suddenly, Watanuki felt very, very tired.

"Perhaps it would be best if you went home a bit earlier tonight, Watanuki-kun. This is an awful lot to take in, after all."

He had to agree with her on that score. He got up shakily, and walked to the entrance of the shop. "Goodnight, Yuuko-san," he said simply.

"Goodnight, Watanuki-kun."

He stepped outside, realized wearily that he was still holding the straw hat, and thoughtlessly plopped it onto his head.

It felt comfortable. Familiar.

Completely and utterly wrong.

He was Watanuki Kimihiro. He was not the man who would become the Pirate King.

As he walked out into the deserted city street, he took the hat off, but didn't throw it away. Doumeki was standing on the sidewalk, waiting for him.

Watanuki did not have enough energy to yell.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked, lacking his usual fire.

Doumeki's expression remained the same. "I had a feeling."

Somehow, tonight, that was good enough.

They walked to Watanuki's apartment in silence.


Glossary:

(1) Nettle wine: I borrowed this shamelessly from HP. It seems like something Yuuko would drink on occasion.