Fullmetal Alchemist- Rain
Rain. Ed thought the cold substance would wash away his sorrows. Once again he had been proven wrong. It slid down his pale, feverish face from the darkening gray sky above Central. The streets were mostly abandoned except for his lonesome self. He stuffed his small hands into his dampened red coat, not bothering to bring an umbrella.
He needed time to think. Three years had passed since Ed had joined the military and secretly begun searching for the Philosophers Stone. Wasted years with no results... not even the slightest clue as to where it is or if the stone even exist at all.
Last week a sudden weakness had possessed his body. He felt terribly ill and weak, but denied so. He also started to distance himself from others, appreciating the comfort of grief instead of strong warm arms.
Everyone noticed all to quickly. They all approached him, asking if he was okay or needed anything. To every question he put on a fake mask with a complete forced smile and said that he was fine. Truthfully he was far from fine indeed.
Al tried to confront him this afternoon. Had demanded to know the sudden change of his older brother.
"Ni-San!" Al had yelled "Tell me whats wrong! You haven't eaten in days, you sit in a daze and ignore the people around you who are trying to help..." He trailed off when seeing his brothers angry face turn away from the large hotel balcony window.
"What do you want me to do Al?" Ed stared at his young brother intently, imagining what the look of his brothers angry face would be if not hidden by cold armor.
Al straightened, then after a few moments of silence, sighed "How can... how are we suppose to help you brother if you keep pushing us away?"
Ed's face morphed into something of shock for a split second before he bolted past Al and out the doorway.
His brothers words replayed over and over in his head "how are we suppose to help you brother if you keep pushing us away?" Truly Ed did not know.
It was all so depressive. So confusing.
Stopping to look up in the sky, he thought "I wonder if the rain can freeze me to death..?" Would he have been willing to try? Would that end his suffering?
Why even think such tragic thoughts? 'Because...' he frowned ' I'm no longer the Edward Elric everyone once knew.'
This all brought Ed to where he was now, out in the soft evening rain. Wondering about Central's many pathways with no sense of direction. Like a lost puppy, left alone on the cold streets to fend for itself in the cruel and broken world of reality.
Suddenly, his vision seemed to swim. Ed blinked furiously and still found no way to stop the dizziness. He stumbled into a wall of one of the many brick buildings. Leaning his automail shoulder against the wall, he pressed his sweating forehead to the wall and was met to bizarre coldness that made his form tremble.
Ed had pushed himself to far.
Maybe this is what he deserved. For... everything. The sins that he could no longer bare , the thought of his brother being in a cold suit of armor for the rest of eternity... everything.
His knees gave out under him. With little strength he had left, he forced his back against the wall to stay in a sitting position. Darkness threatened at the corner of his golden eyes, consuming them.
Thunder clapped in the distance, followed soon after by a loud crack of lightening. The wind sped up as rain hit harder onto the ground. Tears cascaded down his pale features, it could have easily been mistaken for rain though.
'If I could close my eyes just for a bit..' The sudden vision of rolling hills of grass and hay seemed to play out in his mind. A small country side home was set upon one of the tallest hills. A family of three currently resided in the front yard of the house, a young mother with her two little sons. They were all smiling and hugging, happy.
'Mother...' Ed thought and finally gave into sleep.
Roy's POV
Roy Mustang was not one known to like rain. In fact, he despised it. Rain was gloomy and depressing. That's all there really was to it. If it was up to him, right now he would be in his warm home. Slurping steamy soup from a small bowl...
But of course , once again he had been forced to endure work on his only day off. Couldn't signing documents be held off until Monday? And of course , to make matters worse, it had to rain. Anything but rain would have been more pleasurable at the moment. Hell, he wouldn't even mind if a blizzard came rolling in.
Sighing, he then looked up into the gray sky. Thunder clapped and a yellow streak of lightening flashed quickly across the sky. A sudden memory of a worn torn battlefield consumed his mind, explosions , thousands dead... Ishbal.
Roy shook his head. Now was not the time. First priority is to get home safely before the storm begins and gets any worse. He ran into a sprint as droplets of rain fell onto his face. Just hold a bit longer...' He thought then, quite unexpectedly , he fell flat on to his face against the sidewalk.
A slight headache throbbed against his skull as he picked himself up to his feet and glanced down to what he could have possibly tripped over. Roy gasped. A boy was lying limp against the wall of one building. He was short for his age, with a signature red coat and black clothes.
Wait. Golden hair, red cloak... Fullmetal? Without thinking he closed the distance between them and crouched down , lifting the young alchemist back off the wall and into his arms. Yep, it was Ed alright. Although at the same time it wasn't
Ed's face was more pale then usual and covered in a thin layer of sweat. Chapped lips inhaled and exhaled air harshly as if struggling to breath. He soon realized that Ed was trembling, from fatigue or cold dampness of his clothes, Roy was not sure.
Never before had he seen the usually strong , go happy Edward Elric look so weak and sick. The boy had finally broken down. He had been the first to notice that something was bothering Ed since it began last week. Ed had changed so much in a short amount of time. Roy had noticed how Ed had become some what of a bleaker person. Loosing all his color.
And this was what it all came to. The conclusion of some one who has lost hope in everything and everyone. One question that bothered Roy most of all was: Why is Ed acting like this? What is he thinking?
He huffed when rain began to pound harder against his back and on the stone buildings. 'I can't just leave him here. He's sick. ' Roy picked up Ed bridal style and found that despite his automail he wasn't actually that heavy ' Ed needs help..'
'And when he wakes up, I'll be the one to give it to him. No matter what he says. I won't let Fullmetal get by with this that easily.'
Ed's POV
In his own dream, a younger Ed was sprinting through a grassy field on a clear summer day. Hand in hand with his mother and brother. They were laughing and smiling at each other. No words were said though as they played out in the unforgiving sun.
Glancing around with curious golden eyes, he noticed a young boy about sixteen years of age standing in the way of their running path. The mystery boy wore a long red cloak and black onyx clothes, his hair pulled into a braid as his fringe hid his eyes.
Ed stopped. His small hands slipped from his mother's and brother's. They both seemed to not notice the menacing looking boy in front of them as they ran on. Ed tried to call out to them but was startled that he couldn't hear his own voice. Still, he yelled his loudest and only got an inaudible whisper in return.
The boy lifted his head, revealing solid black demonic eyes and a murderous smile.
Time seemed to move forward quickly. Suddenly, Ed blinked and focused on the bloody bodies of his mom and young sibling. A black veil covered the earth and replaced the sun with the ominous glowing moon, seeming to highlight the large crimson splatter on the impure grass.
This wasn't a dream... it was a nightmare.
Death of his family seemed to catch on as Ed's eyes widened in horror. The mysterious boy was standing in the middle of the chopped up bodies, covered in a thick layer of blood. Not a single tear was squeezed out from their deaths though. Ed only felt fear, a fear that shook his whole body and made him want to hurl.
He found his voice and managed to choke out "W-who are you?"
Acknowledging his existence, the boy laughed creepily. Pitch black eyes settled on terrified golden ones "I am you." His voice echoed somewhat identical to Ed's but sounded like metal scraping against a rock.
Ed stumbled backwards as his claimed look-a-like charged toward him with an malicious smile.
000
A large gasp escaped chapped lips as Ed bolted up from his comfortable position. Wait , comfortable? He thought and took a second to take in his surroundings. He found himself sandwiched between a large leather couch and blanket. A glass coffee table sat to his left , followed by a T.V and one more chair in the corner that someone resided in already.
Just when he was about to relax, the horrifying nightmare replayed in his mind once again. The picture of his mom and brother chopped up , bleeding, dead on the ground filled the capacity of his brain. Until he felt as if he was floating in space, lingering between fantasy and reality.
"I am you." kept playing over and over in that scratchy voice that sounded so unlike but yet like his. Yet again , Ed felt confused. He had to admit this was not the first time he had had a nightmare similar to this one in the past week. But before they had just been parts of the scene, teasing him and making his stay up mostly all hours of the night. Never whole.
It took all his might to just not break down and cry. Ed reminded himself that he was not alone. He tried to gain the energy to ask the figure in the chair who he was when a sudden thought hit him: What if this was that demon? Had he actually ripped through the depths of nightmares just to finish him off just like his mom?
Ed shivered and stared wide eyed at the man. His first thought was : I have to get out of here. Ignoring the dizziness and sickness all together, he managed to stand up. Grabbing on the couch for support, he felt a wave of nausea wash over him.
'No, I will not...his mind faltered give up.' Spying the door beside the T.V, he took a struggling step forward and felt his knees once again giving out underneath him. Ed fell onto the floor in a heap and was breaking out in a cold sweat.
"No...I have to.." He panted , stretching one arm out towards the door.
"Ed , what are you doing?" A strong but surprisingly soft voice asked.
He strained his head to see none other then the infamous Roy Mustang crouching beside him. He wore a white button up t-shirt and black office jeans. ' Great, he thought then glanced toward the now empty corner chair ' of all the people I had to get stuck with him.'
Instead of looking directly at Mustang , Ed laid his cheek against the cool carpet and scowled into blank space "None of your business." it would have been very convincing if he wasn't laying on the floor, sick and barely able to move. He tried to move one of his fingers and only found a small twitch in response ' Scratch that, make it Unable to move at all now."
" Actually, Fullmetal, I think this is my business." Mustang replied sternly " I don't see many people laying unconscious on the sidewalk in the middle of a storm."
Ed could tell Mustang was angry, he also heard slight concern in his voice even though he tried to hide it. He guessed that he had reason to be angry anyways. Ed was silent as Mustang lifted him into his arms , plopped him down on the couch and covered him tightly with a blanket.
Mustang turned on a tall lamp beside the chair and sat down in it. Silence lingered on for what seemed like decades until he finally sighed "Alright Fullmetal , its time to fess up. I want to know whats got you so depressive over the last week, don't leave out any details."
"Nothi-" Ed started until Mustang gave him his famous if-you-don't-tell-me-now-I'll-ask-your-brother stare. The last thing Ed wanted was for Alphonse to tell their commanding officer about every single detail of each hell-like day that Ed had experienced this past week.
"Look, even though your my commanding officer it doesn't mean I have to tell you everything about my personal life!" he yelled angrily and then went into a small coughing fit. Soon, the coughs that shook his body were followed by ragged breathing and it took a minute or so to calm himself.
"Fine than , Fullmetal. But let me ask you one thing. How are we suppose to help you if you keep pushing us away?"
Ed froze in horror as Mustang practically mimicked his brothers words. It was as if the weight of the world had rested upon his shoulders at that exact moment. A single tear raced down his pale cheek "That's w-what Al said too," he whipped stray tears away but more fell " Does e-everyone really care about me that much?"
The officer looked taken back by the question but then just sighed and cracked a slight smile "Of course, Fullmetal. People care about you more than you realize. Winry, Al, Riza ," he hesitated "And myself have been worried about your strange behavior lately."
Staring at Mustang, Ed realized something : Even he was concerned about him. How is that even possible? The Colonel had rarely ever showed any sign of affection to his young charge. But now, when Ed needed it the most, someone besides Alphonse was there for him.
He let out a strangled sigh and tried to sit up but to no avail. Trapped under the deathly gaze of Mustang , Ed finally gave in "The philosophers stone."
Ed swallowed the large lump in his throat and glanced at Mustang. They locked eyes for a long moment, Ed's golden staring into onyx black. The color reminded him of the mysterious monster that had corrupted his nightmare.
A flash of the monster replayed in his head. Mustangs eyes suddenly became the demons, seeming to touch the very fear that resided in Ed's heart. It had been awakened. And right now, it feared like never before.
"Ed?" Another voice filled with concern asked.
Roy's POV
Just when he thought that Ed would finally trust him, when he had begun to tell him everything, something to be only described at horrifyingly odd happened. Ed froze up and began to tremble as he kept his eyes locked with Mustang's. Almost as if remembering something.
Silent tears dripped past his eyes and onto his cheek, leaving a trail in their wake. Whatever Ed was seeing must have been pretty scary. Mustang had never witnessed the usually brave young man in such a fragile state. He looked like he would break any second.
"Ed?" he asked. Mustang hurried off the chair and was beside Ed in an instant as he tried to shake him back to reality. He was still off in a dream like state, staring into the space Mustang had once occupied.
"I'm not like you." Ed whispered, Terror recognized immediately with in his voice.
Mustang shook Ed's shoulder harder "Ed, you've got to snap out of it!"
Ed seemed to calm down some as his tears ceased to drip onto the wet spotted pillow, but his body still shook violently. If he didn't blink soon Mustang was worried his eyes would dry into sand.
"Whatever you see Ed, its not real! Its just a nightmare. Its not real."
The shaken boy tore his eyes away from the empty chair and back to Mustang with a small gasp. After a moment of silence Ed whimpered "I-Its not real..." tears began to flow in rivers down his face and sobs racked his small frame.
Mustang sadly frowned at the site and resulted to sitting on the edge of the couch. He eased Ed into a sitting position and embraced him with his warm arms. The boy seemed slightly surprised by Mustang's sudden movement but then relaxed into his hug.
"Shhh. It's alright, Ed." he whispered into the boy's ear as he rubbed his hand in what Mustang hoped to be soothing circles on Ed's back " It's just a nightmare. Nothing will hurt you here."
"M-My whole life," Ed sobbed "Its just a whole nightmare. How am I suppose to keep moving forward if I can't even keep some of the promises I've made?"
That's when it clicked: Ed was loosing hope. He remembered the countless missions Ed had went on for the philosophers stone only to come back with dirt on his clothes and a plastered on smile. The times when after every year passed, Ed vowed to find the stone and get his brother's body back.
Every year... to promise to find something that may have not even existed. But he had kept moving on anyways, for three straight years. Until now. He just broke. Giving into the grips of depression and making himself sick. Edward Elric had finally broke.
Determination was the first to feel. Mustang softly pulled Ed away from him and met the boys tear filled eyes , grasping his shoulders he said "You can not give up , Fullmetal. I know your better than that. I also know that no matter what, you would never loose hope for your brother and yourself. I know you can find the stone and set things right. So, believe in yourself, believe in the people around you who also wish the best for you. Because no matter what, We are always here for you. At the place you call home."
Ed's eyes went wide for a few minutes, but then softened and he smiled for the first time in decades it seemed "Y-your absolutely right."
Mustang , amazed by the successful speech he had just made, smiled down at the brightening figure of his charge "You can never give up , Ed."
The smile enlarged " You guys would never let me."
Mustang chuckled and stood up " Got that right, Fullmetal. You already look a thousand times better."
For the first time, Ed noticed that he was sitting up on his own. He didn't feel bad anymore or like the weight of the world was on his shoulders, no. He felt like he had been purified by a simple speech made to him by the most unlikely man in the world. Ed felt truly loved by a family for the first time in weeks.
Mustang plucked a cordless phone from its cradle and threw it to Ed, landing in the boys lap "Call your brother. He must be worried sick about you."
Then, turning away from the living area and into the kitchen he heard "Mustang?"
He turned around to greet the boy "Yes, Fullmetal?"
"Thank you. For everything."
Mustang smiled "Your Welcome, Ed."
It was then that Mustang concluded that everyone needed to be reminded of how love felt. Even the infamous Edward Elric.
Aww! I hope you guys enjoyed my first Fullmetal Alchemist story. Did everyone seem in character? Please Review and tell me what you think!
