A/N: Just a few thoughts I needed to write down about the relationship between Alexis and Kate, inspired by the opening scene from 7x14. Hang on, everybody! It's only five days left ;)
Her Partner's Daughter
Thinking about it in hindsight, Castle did realize the difference at some point. It was not immediately because watching from the sidelines it was not an obvious change or something that could be easily described with words. When he came back home, bringing along six weeks of missing memories to a worried fiancée and a neglected daughter, his thoughts revolved around other stuff. It needed some time, they needed some time, until the waves calmed down. Until they found solid ground again.
It was a week after the wedding that Castle started to notice things. He was not sure at first, shrugged it off as an outcome of his own imagination. But the feeling did not stop and forced him to pay more attention, look for hints. Now Castle was sure. Something had changed during his absence. Something was different between Kate and Alexis.
Actually it did not really surprise him although he could not tell what exactly it was. Castle still could not imagine the grief and angst and helplessness they must have felt. Everything they went through. Together. His mother, Alexis and Kate. Kate told him once, only a few days after his reappearance, that she was grateful for that. Grateful that she did not had to go through all of it alone. That they were there for her and that she could be there for them, that they were a family although he was missing. But she never got into details about it or told him the closer meaning of her words. Castle was not surprised that it leaved it marks. And yet he was curious about what had happened exactly.
He would not say the relationship itself between Alexis and Kate took a change, but rather the dynamic and the depth. It was peanuts, small things. He saw them talk more often, exchange glances or share a laugh about some silent joke. He watched them watching each other, smiling at each other. They touched more often, subtle, conversantly. A few times he observed Kate slipping out of Alexis room. And then Alexis kissed his wife goodbye this morning.
Castle liked that their bonding seemed to be intensified. But he could not help but feel as if he was missing out on something, because he was not there when it took place. He decided to ask one of them about it, preferably Alexis because she seemed to be the initiator, if he could take Kate being surprised herself as an indication.
The opportunity came up faster than Castle would have thought at first. Alexis called him in his office only a few hours after she had left for the library. She asked him whether he would like to meet for lunch. Actually she asked him whether he was busy and would mind bringing her her favorite pizza, said something about good food boosting concentration, which was probably one of his parental advices once. But because he was not busy and his stomach was craving for lunch too, he accepted to meet her on the campus at noon. Of course he had no ulterior motives.
Alexis was waiting for him at a small group of tables, sitting in the corner with an awfully voluminous looking book. When she recognized him, the carton of pizza was faster placed at the table than his own body.
So much about raising a great person.
"Dad, you are the best," her broad grin was already worth all the efforts. "I really needed this right now."
Castle winked back at her, "I would never miss an opportunity to get my daughter into eating unhealthy food."
They shared a laugh and started to reduce the size of their pizzas. Halfway through the meal Alexis asked him whether he had already heard from Kate since she left for work.
If that is not called to be a perfect opportunity…
"You know, pumpkin, I'm glad that the two of you got closer while I have been away. At least something good resulted from it too," Castle told his daughter gently, seeing her shaking her head slightly about his last comment.
Alexis threw a glance at him, "Do not say it like this, Dad," she put the piece of pizza she was holding aside and looked at him more intently. "Anyway you are right about it. I think that time really made a difference. Kate… Kate was the only one who actually understood me when you were missing. I did not have to talk to her or explain things, she was just there and I knew that I am not alone in this. If I felt like talking she was there too. Or crying… She always knew how to react, what I needed and when. If it was somebody who would listen or somebody you could just listen to. She was everything at once."
Although the image of his daughter grieving about him was not comforting at all, Castle was not able to suppress a small smile. It was nice to know that she felt being in good hands though.
"You know, she honestly looked after me," Alexis frowned a little. "Kate paid attention that I eat enough, that I think about other stuff too. One night, I think it was after a week or so, she heard me crying in the night and came upstairs. At first she did not do anything, just came into my room and sat down beside me. But she was able to soothe me after all and from that day on she watched that I sleep well too. Well as good as possible… When she came in late from the precinct she always checked on me. I think it did her good to. She wanted to be strong, needed the need to be strong for somebody else. Of course gram had an eye on me too. But that was… Well, I know grandma and I know that I can rely on her. But I did not know until then that I could rely that much on Kate too. Although I am not her child and it is not her obligation, although you have not been there. And that was really nice, knowing that she would be with me, stay with me, no matter what."
When Alexis felt the intense look of her father on her face, she ducked her head shyly.
"At least it felt like that," she added more casually. "I felt… loved."
Castle reached for his daughter's hand. "You know you are," he said sternly. "Kate may be not the most obvious person when it comes to showing affection, but I know that she adores you. Not only because you are her partner's child, but because you are the person who you are."
"I know that too," Alexis quickly reassured him. "I just… Before you went missing I never really thought about it. Of course I knew that she likes me and that I could trust her, rely on her. But not in that way. I mean if you would have never come back, I am sure she would have stayed. I am so grateful for that and I feel a little bit guilty because maybe I did not give her enough credit before…"
She cleared her throat and continued with a softer voice, "I am trying to give her something back now. I know I do not have to and that love does not work this way, but I want to give her the same feeling she gives me. That she means more to me than being my father's new wife, that she is family for me too and that I… that I love her back."
Castle was at a loss for words. He was not shocked by Alexis' admission but slightly overwhelmed. He gave her hand a squeeze, feeling that she still needed to say something.
"Kate is great, Dad," he heard her say when she squeezed him back. "She is different from mom or Gina, in a positive way. I mean I never truly knew what it is like to have mother and anyhow I guess I am too old now for that kind of a relationship, but… If you ever take me out of the misery of being an only child, I know that Kate is going to be a wonderful mom." Alexis smiled at him and added with a little laugh, "So wonderful that I will actually feel a little jealous, I think."
Castle leaned over to her, pressing a kiss on her forehead, muttering, "No need for jealousy, pumpkin. Never. We are perfect the way we are and we will always be."
The two of them finished their pizzas in silent, each of them lost in their own thoughts. They were interrupted by Castle's phone later. The DA cleared him for the case involving Jerry Tyson. He headed for the 12th precinct, not knowing that he will wish himself back to this moment in the near future.
