Disclaimer: Don't own nothin'. Am not makin' money. Nope.
Ling Xiaoyu peeked into the allyway. All that money and she STILL had to walk home. Perhaps she should think of taking a cab or getting car. Of course, then she wouldn't be able to beat up the bad guys who thought she was an easy target. Alright, so she had pigtails, still wore her school uniform - but she liked to smack and crunch and hit.
Forget the car, this was better.
It was silent. She padded down the lonely abandoned backway, her pigtails bouncing as she skipped. She began to whistle 'If Your Happy And You Know It.' A snicker haulted her in her tracks. She went slowly in a half circle.
The guy wasn't that big, nor was he really that frightening looking. He just happened to have a gun pointed at her eyes. She smiled sweetly. "Heh-wo!" She said in her best baby voice. His snicker turned into a full laugh.
"Give me your money, lady."
"Nah." She giggled. "I don' wanna!"
His face went ugly. Xiaoyu shrugged when he told her he'd shoot her. Maybe he would; it wouldn't help him any - she had no money. Unless he counted that monoply money Xiaoyu still had to return to Ying...hey, a game would be nice after supper...
The guy muttered something. Xiaoyu studdied him. If he came forward an inch, she'd be able to thump him. One would-be robber, down for the count. She did a baby's baby step forward. The guy waved the gun.
"Uh-uh, lady."
"Ya-haw, man." Xiaoyu nodded. "Peace!" She gave him a victory sign. This did what she wanted - he got confused for a split second, a wonderful split second she used. In one gracefull move she swipped the gun out of his hands and twirled it. She leaped backward, placing the gun on the dumster. She stood between the garbage and the man. She began to sing, using the 'If Your Happy And You Know It' tune, but slower and stressing the last words of the sentences:
"If your stupid and you know it,
and you really want to show it -"
The guy snarled, charging for her. She kicked him back a few feet.
"If your stupid and you know it,
Run at Xiaoyu!"
Which he did. This time, though, she kneed him then flung him into a lamp pole. She dug into her backpack, pulling out some rope (she was coming home from a rock climbing night) and went over to the theif, grinning. Xiaoyu sticky-knoted the rope around the theives wrists and the lamp-pole. She quipped, "There, occupy yourself." She dropped the gun just out of reach. The bullets where in her pocket.
Then she skipped her way home, singing Are You Sleeping, but with her own lyrics:
Are you stupid?
Are you stupid?
Yes you are.
Yes you are.
I beat your butt.
I beat your butt.
Ha ha hee!
Ha ha hee!
