He wasn't sure when he'd developed the habit of sneaking away from the others at night while they slept. They'd accepted letting him stay with them, but they had yet to accept him, to believe that he had changed for good. It left him feeling lost. It was like being stuck in the middle of two different people trying to decide who to be.
So he started to meditate at night under the stars. It was something new. He was so used to heat, reveling in heat, being heat, that sitting out under the cold moon and stars felt strange.
But it was also wonderfully quiet.
No sounds of Teo, Haru and The Duke racing around exploring. No rumbles and bangs from earthbending shaking the temple. No snide comments from Sokka distracting him as he tried to focus. None of the Ava- Aang's silly games. And no Katara making him feel guilty without saying a word, nevermind when she did talk.
He swallowed and pushed the thought away. No, at night it was just him and the cool stone of the Western Air Temple. He concentrated on his breath, slowing it and letting his worries go as he meditated.
A sound from behind him shook him from his rhythm. He turned to see the waterbender standing next to the broken rubble of the fountain, her arms crossed. Zuko swallowed a groan, this was the reason he came here; to escape that.
"What are you doing?"
Wincing he stood and stretched. "I was meditating."
"At night." She sounded skeptical and narrowed her eyes at him. "What happened to 'rising with the sun'?"
His teeth clenched. This was not what he needed at the moment. "If you must know I can't concentrate with all of the noise around here during the day."
"You could go somewhere else in the temple."
Unbelievable. He took a breath to calm his temper. "No, because if I did you or someone else would be after me, saying I'm going to betray you."
She glared at him and took a step closer. "Well, you do have a habit."
"Maybe I've learned something since then!" He shouted, then winced. Another breath. "I made a mistake, I made a lot of mistakes."
"Yes. You did." She said angrily and turned to walk away. He stared after her. She was crazy, there was no other explanation. He'd shown his loyalty to them, or he'd tried to. Why couldn't she just trust him?
Then it clicked.
"Katara, wait!" He shouted and ran to catch up with her. He grabbed her arm and dragged her to a halt despite the biting glare she gave him. "I – ah…this isn't about the – Aang, is it." It wasn't a question.
She stared at him in shock. "Wh-what? Of course it's about Aang! It's about all of us! You never stopped chasing us! You tried to kill us!"
Images of the destruction he'd caused while chasing the Avatar swam through his mind and he ached with the guilt he felt. But he manages to meet her eyes and say softly, "But I never betrayed them."
She broke his gaze and shook her arm free of him. Silently she turned and walked back towards the rooms. He watched her departing form and sighed.
When she was almost out of earshot he very quietly said, "I'm sorry Katara."
She didn't stop.
But the next night when he once again left his room to sit under the moon and stars to meditate and relax he found her already waiting for him. She was sitting silently on the edge of the fountain, staring at the sky.
He couldn't think of anything else to say to her, so he walked past and sat to meditate, and was surprised when she sat next to him. Her eyes were locked on the full moon above her and he thought he felt her shiver beside him.
"I think we've all done things we regret."
He nodded. "Yes."
He wasn't sure when he'd started meditating under the moon every night, but he knew exactly when she started joining him for his nightly meditation. And he knew exactly when he finally managed to figure out who he was and what his destiny would be.
