Even Standing - Part 1: Shiny Things
"Even Standing"
Part 1/9 - "Shiny Things"

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters here, save for Quinn and the premise for Night Life... please don't sue me, I don't intend to earn money from this unless I'm offered a contract by the Buffy people... then I can toss this disclaimer out the window anyway.
Rating(Series): PG-13 to R, may contain a little excessive violence and a touch of language... not sure just yet.
Spoilers: Up to Season Five's, "The Replacement"
Feedback: Yes, please. There's no such thing as bad feedback.

Author's Notes/Summary: This happens just after "The Replacement" (as stated in the spoiler warning)... Xander has a spiffy new apartment, and life starts looking up for him. But as we all know, things never stay that good for long... Fic starts A/X, but eventually (pretty quick, actually) will become B/X... Oh, there's a little side B/R and A/C(Angel/Cordelia... cause Wes is a twit)
Author's Note #2: This is a new series I'm writing... in no way does this mean that "A Change Of Scenery" is over... just in hibernation until I can get the idea train for it going again. In the meantime, this popped into my head after watching The Replacement...
It has a set number of parts, everything is already figured out... so it should be pretty stable.

*FADE TO: The office of 'Night Life', an after-dark mini-golf course (strange idea, I know). Sometime after 10:00pm. Xander is standing at the front desk, twirling a putter and looking exhausted.*

Xander bent down and fiddled with the small stereo underneath the desk itself. He turned the dial from station to station, until he finally settled on a station playing "Crazy For This Girl" by Evan and Jaron. He sighed as the chorus came through, mumbling, "The perfect song." He stood back up and taking his putter and poking at the basket of glow-in-the-dark golf balls on the counter.
"Mind if we play through?" A voice said behind him. He spun around quickly, almost brandishing the putter as a weapon, to see Buffy, flanked by her good soldier boy Riley. He reached down and turned off the stereo quickly. She smiled warmly at him, sliding right up to the counter, where Riley put his arm around her.
He and Riley exchanged an awkward nod, remembering their strange moment in his basement a few weeks before. Xander tried to break himself out of it, grinning, "What brings you here, Buff? Out to slay unassuming golf balls?"
She cracked a smile, but shook her head, "Riley and I decided to come check this place out. What are you doing here, anyway? I thought you got promoted at the construction site..."
He nodded, "I did, but a guy's gotta have something to do with his nights, y'know? Besides... the construction job provides the rent on the new place, but I've gotta go the extra mile to help keep up on Anya's shiny thing collection."
Buffy and Xander exchanged a knowing smile, "We all know how she loves the shiny things."
Riley looked rather clueless, "Shiny things?"
Xander stifled a groan, as Buffy comforted the boy, "Nevermind, Riley. Shiny things aren't everything."
Xander almost clucked with laughter, but steadied himself, "So, come to trip the Night Life fantastic? I'll just set you up." He grabbed a pair of putters, twice as many balls, and a slender flashlight-looking thing, all of which he handed to them.
Riley pointed to the flashlight, "What's that, Xander?"
He smiled wanly, "Well, we don't usually give these out, cause we have so few... its a blacklight so you can find your balls easier if you lose them. It'll spare you from having to come back up here to pay $5 for more balls."
"Thanks." Buffy replied warmly.
"Yeah, thanks..." Riley seemed put off by Xander's generosity, but he made no further comment.
"Did you want to come with us?" Buffy offered. Riley's eyes were wide, but Xander shook his head.
"Can't, unfortunately. Company policy about fraternizing with the customers. Otherwise I'd be all over you." Xander and Riley both looked alarmed at the wording, which he corrected, "Er, I mean... I'd be out there with you two hip-cats in a second." Both seemed relieved with the cover.
"Hip-cats? Xander, you're going retro." Buffy pointed out.
He smiled wearily, "Running like mad for the past, I guess." He inwardly sighed, wishing he could do just that.
"Buffy, I think we should get going... he's got a job to do." Riley ushered. Xander looked past him to see no customers whatsoever. He smiled, letting it lop a little to one side, knowing he was having an effect on Riley.
Buffy nodded, semi-reluctantly, before saying, "See you later?"
He smirked, "You have to return the putters sometime... else I'll be forced to prosecute." Buffy raised an eyebrow, but smiled back, and departed with Riley.
Xander watched them leave, before collapsing to a seated position behind the desk. He groaned, and ran a hand through his hair, "No, my life isn't complicated."

*CUT TO: Early morning time. Xander is laying in bed, an arm and a leg dangling off the side of the bed. The other side of the bed is obviously vacated, just recently. The covers are kicked back, and the pillow is still in the shape of a head resting on it.*

Anya came walking into the room, a strange trail of smoke following her. She stood in the doorway for a moment, as if expecting him to wake up at her mere presence. She looked angrily and said gruffly, yet matter-of-factly, "Xander... the kitchen is on fire."
Xander simply lay there, obviously still asleep. Anya put her hands on her hips, and looked on unhappily. Moments later, a disheveled Xander came springing off the bed, and through the doorway behind her.
He grabbed the fire extinguisher off the nearby wall, and began spraying it liberally all over the kitchen area. He stopped, and in a moment of twitchy sleepiness, started spraying all over again. When he was thoroughly finished, and the kitchen was a beautiful snowy white, he stopped. Anya casually walked into the area with him, and looked at him with mild anger.
"You weren't paying attention to me." She grumbled.
He groggily mashed his cheeks around with the palms of his hands, before running a hand through his tousled hair and grumbled right back, "Anya... what did I tell you about cooking?" She opened her mouth to reply, but he cut her off, "Never, EVER, operate anything in this kitchen, especially here in the new apartment."
She tried to think of a comeback, "Well at least I warned you this time!"
He sighed, "Yes, I remember the incident at the house. I'm still giving payments to my mom for it." He sat down on a foamy white kitchen chair, "Anya, why didn't you do anything to stop the fire?"
She got an innocent-type look, like she had tried everything in her power, "I threw the shiny things you bought me last week at it... but they didn't seem to do any good!"
He looked at her in disbelief, "Anya, those were CDs, not... magical fire-stopping CDs..." He pointed to the well-used fire extinguisher on the kitchen floor, "*That* is what you use to stop a fire."
She sat down on her own chair, thoroughly swiping off the foamy stuff before sitting, "Don't blame me!"
He looked at her again, "Why not?"
"It's you stupid humans, for your unending need to burn things. If cavemen had never discovered the flame, we'd all be better off." She declared proudly. Xander didn't respond, he sighed again, got up, and headed for the bathroom. "Where are you going?" She demanded.
He didn't look back, "I'm going to shower... because I have to be at the construction site in an hour."
"But what about this mess?" She followed him, until he slammed the bathroom door in her face. This irked her even more, "Hey! I thought you LIKED me seeing your naked parts all wet and slippery!"
When she got no answer, she turned with a 'humph', and went about figuring out how to clean all the white stuff off the kitchen area. "This is all so much easier when I can use my tongue." She declared openly. She rifled through the kitchen drawers in search of a towel of some sort.

*CUT TO: Angel Investigations (in the hotel now), sometime in the middle of the night. Cordelia is typing, albeit drowsily, Wesley is fumbling through the files, and Angel is stirring a mixture in a cup... presumably a mid-evening snack.*

Cordelia fumbled with the keyboard again, one of her precious fingernails splintering, "Dammit, Angel... I broke another nail. This keyboard is too stiff, can't we get one that's like... broken in?"
Angel shook his head, cracking a weak grin, before jabbing, "Cordelia Chase, complaining something is too stiff... mark the calendar, Wes..."
Cordelia's eyes narrowed, "That is so perverted.. especially coming from Mr. No-Pulse-Leading-To..."
Angel smirked, interrupting, "Cordelia?"
She stopped and looked at him, "What?"
He raised an eyebrow, looking at her evenly, "Rigor mortis."
Cordelia's eyebrow raised slightly as well, before a blush came over her. The awkward moment was slammed to the ground unceremoniously as Wesley jumped in, "If you two are quite finished with the back-and-forth... I believe I hear footsteps coming closer."
Angel and Wesley proceeded into Angel's office, closing the door behind them, as Cordelia got back to being all secretarial. She kept looking up every few seconds, until the door of their makeshift office was knocked on. Cordelia put on her best cordial voice and declared, "Come in."
The door was casually swung open, as a slightly scruffy, longhaired man stepped through. He looked in his mid-20s, just this side of handsome, and wore a decidedly retro outfit. Cordelia stifled her snicker and stood up out of her chair, extending her hand, "Angel Investigations, we help the hopeless."
He shook her hand, with a firm grip, and Cordelia returned to her seat. She returned to her duties, leaving the stranger in an awkward position. He cleared his throat, "Um, I'm here to see Angel."
Her head shot up, "Oh... um, do you have an appointment?" She fumbled around the messy desk, looking for the appointment book she didn't yet realize was not in existence.
He cocked his head, observing the desk, "By the looks of it, you don't have an appointment book... at least not in this area code..."
She suddenly remembered, realizing how embarrassing it must look. Something about the man seemed mysteriously charming, causing her to be self-conscious. She recovered, and shook her head, "Nope, we don't... I'll just get him." She turned her head, and yelled, "ANGEL!"
A thunking was heard, and the pair inside rushed to the door. It was flung open, and both men tried to get through at once. Wesley was bearing a crossbow, due to his over-anxiousness, which set itself off in the commotion, planting a bolt firmly in the ceiling.
The man laughed softly at the situation, commenting aside to Cordelia, "I sure hope you never tried to saddle *him.*"
Cordelia blushed again, and looked to Angel, "Angel, this is... um..."
The man looked serious for a moment, "Quinn. Just Quinn."
"Well, Quinn Just Quinn," Angel commented semi-snidely, "What brings you..." He sniffed the air, his eyes narrowed, "You're not human."
A faint smile rose to Quinn's lips, "Good sniffer there, Scooby. No, I'm not. I'm a Begora demon."
Angel's face showed no recognition, "Never heard of you."
Quinn feigned injury, "Your words wound me!" He smirked, and recovered, "Doesn't suprise me... our race wasn't very social, until the latter half of the 20th century, when our unique sense of fashion came into style. 'Round the 70s."
Cordelia, picking up on the fashion reference, was quick to jump in, "Disco demons? Lord almighty, an entire race of polyester putrids? No wonder you weren't very social."
Angel and Wesley looked on disapprovingly, "Cordy, please don't alienate the potential customer." Cordelia sheepishly receded to her chair, as Angel continued to 'interrogate' the customer, "What brings you here?"
"Nothing that categorizes me as hopeless." He replied, giving a side glance at Cordelia, "Save maybe for retro." He grabbed a nearby chair, sitting down, "I was wondering if you could give me the location of a certain Alexander Harris."
"Xander? What do you want with him?" Cordelia piped up, earning another disapproving glare from her employer and co-worker.
"I don't know if I'm really at liberty to say. He's just really important, and I've been sent out to get him."
"Get... him?" Wesley finally spoke, gulping between words.
"Not in the 'kill him' sense... I'm just supposed to find him, and make sure he's safe."
"Why would he need to be safe?" Angel asked lowly, eyeing the visitor cautiously.
Cordy chose the moment to speak again, "Duh, cause he hangs out with that ratty Slayer! He's always jumping into the fray for her, lord knows he's in danger every day." Angel's frown was enough to send her back to her typing duties.
Quinn looked slightly alarmed, "He's with the Slayer?"
"I don't know about *with* her..." Wesley started.
"Yes, he's in her presence every day... maybe he won't need your protection after all." Angel said, almost proudly.
Quinn shook his head, "On the contrary... little miss Slip'N'Say here may have a point." Cordy fought her hardest not to return a snide remark. "Could you just tell me where he is, so I can at least go there and look? If all is well, then I can report back to my employer and I'll be on my way."
Angel's eyes were still narrow, "Can you just tell me who your employer is, so I can know whether or not to kick you out on your ass right now?"
Quinn looked into the vampire's eyes, and saw he meant business. He let out a loud sigh, his shoulder's slumping, "Fine, fine... I'm on an assignment from the Powers That Be... they want me to make sure he survives at all costs..."
Angel's expression had loosened considerably, "What would the PTB want with Xander?"
Quinn looked back at him, seriously, "Mine is not the place to ask, it is only to obey. Besides, I answered your question, now tell me where this Harris boy is."
Angel looked indecisive for a few moments, weighing whether or not to concede. Finally, his stance loosened, turning to Cordelia, "Cordy, get out the Rolodex... look up Xander's address." Cordelia looked at him with suprise, but complied.
She got to the card with Xander's new address on it, and began to read, but Angel interrupted, closing the distance between himself and Quinn, "If I find out you're lying, that you *aren't* working for the PTB... or you hurt Xander or anyone he associates with... I'm going to look you up and, as humans so colorfully put, bust my foot off in your ass... got me?"
Quinn gulped nervously, and nodded vigorously, "I gotcha."
Cordelia, in the time it took Angel to stare Quinn down, had written Xander's address on a small piece of paper, which she then handed to the scruffy demon, "Same goes for me, buddy... 'cept with less breaking and more flailing and slapping."
Quinn nodded, and parted, stopping at the door to bow his head, "'Til we meet again."

*CUT TO: Xander's apartment. Xander comes through the door, looking exhausted. It's getting on towards evening, as can be seen through the windows.*

Xander shuffled across the center of the room, coming to the couch area and falling over quickly. He groaned painfully as he landed on a discarded hairbrush that undoubtedly belonged to Anya. He rolled over, and begrudgingly pried the offending object from his stomach.
He tossed it onto the nearby coffee table, and went back to being exhausted. He gave no reaction to the sound of the bedroom door opening, or Anya walking out across the living area, humming a disturbingly cheery commercial jingle. He swore she wouldn't ever let the stupid thing fade, no matter how much he complained.
She was halfway to the kitchen before she noticed him sprawled on the couch. She looked at him, with only mild interest, and spoke, "Xander, you're home."
He made no movement, only rolled his eyes around, before cracking, "Really? I thought I was at Buffy's."
Anya glared, "Always with the Buffy. Xander, I swear you're going to have to stop calling her name during the sex."
He had shot up, looking at her. He looked sheepish and pensive, "...do I?"
She glared again, "No. I was simply trying out your skill of humor."
He fell back on the couch again, "My advice... don't. You aren't very good." Anya looked minorly regretful, and approached. He finally noticed her outfit, how incredibly decked out she appeared. "What're you dressed up for? Is there an anniversary I forgot?"
She shook her head slightly, "No... I'm going over to Giles' house, and I wanted to display my new shiny things." She shook her head again, jingling the earrings on her ears."
Xander looked at her from his laying position, "Why are you visiting Giles?"
"Something is trying to destroy the world again. Giles said they all wanted me to come and give advice on demon-y ways." She blurted.
Xander frowned, "They invited you, but not me?"
Anya looked a little sympathetic, but dashed the image when she said, "Sweetheart, it's nice you want to help, but you aren't a demon." Xander's eyes glazed over. Seeing this, Anya decided to try to be sympathetic again, "If you want, you can come with. I'm sure they wouldn't complain too much."
Xander's head fell back onto the couch cushion, and his eyes squeezed shut. He looked indescribably helpless at that moment in time, lying prone on the couch. He spoke without moving again, "No... I, I think I'm going to take up some extra hours at Night Life..."
Anya nodded, not providing any further comfort. She got up and grabbed her knapsack, preparing to exit, before she turned around quickly, "Xander... I'm all for the extra hours thing... cause more work equals more shiny things... but make sure the extra work doesn't get in the way of the sex." She turned abruptly and exited the apartment.
When the door finally closed, and he figured Anya was out of hearing distance, he gave an anguished scream. Why had his life decided to do this again? Just when he thought things were on the upturn... his feet are kicked out from under him.
He shook his head, sitting up and running hand through his hair. He felt disgusting, like he'd just taken a swim through the sewer system. He shook off the thought, and reached for the cordless phone. He dialed in a quick number, and waited.
When someone picked up, he spoke, "Yeah, Pete... It's me, Xander. I was wondering if I could maybe pick up some extra hours... I've got too much free time on my hands."

*CUT TO: Xander's apartment, very late. The apartment is dark, save for ambient lighting. He looked even more exhausted than previously seen.*

He pulled his key out of the doorknob and relocked the door. He flipped on the light, and turned around to be greeted by an all-naked Anya. Head to toe, not a stitch of clothing on her, and she looked upset.
"Anya." He said plainly.
She expressed her displeasure at his lukewarm greeting to her appearance, "Xander, I'm naked."
"I can see that, Anya... your picture could be stuck next to the word in the dictionary."
She faltered, "Picture? Xander, you've been taking pictures of me?"
He looked down and stifled a groan, barely, "No..." He paused, "Anya, *why* are you naked?"
She grumbled, "Xander, you're late. I'm naked cause I wanted you. I was *all* ready for 'the sex' tonight."
He cocked his head, "Anya... you're ready for 'the sex' every night."
She looked even angrier, "But tonight I was really ready..." She grabbed her calendar, and pointed to a marked date, "Xander, I'm ovulating... have sex with me."
This time, the groan went unstifled. He shook his head, "Anya... we aren't ready for children. I don't even know if I want to bring a child into *this* world."
Anya's face contorted, which he believed would have become vampire features, if she hadn't, in fact, been quite human. She grumbled, louder this time, "Dammit, Xander... I want to live my life... I want kids before it's too late, and what I say goes."
He sighed, his shoulders sagging, as his will to resist the inevitable was finally broken. He calmly walked over to Anya, grabbing a blanket off the couch and wrapping it around her. He sat her down, following suit on the coffee table across from her. He yelped painfully as he sat on the hairbrush from earlier, quickly grabbing it and tossing it off into the room.
He sat again, and looked at her seriously. She almost feared the look. She even winced when he spoke, "Anya... I've just got one question for you."
"Oh... well, I figured out the ovulation day by..."
"No, Anya... not that." He looked near the point of frustration, "Anya, I just want to know... do you love me?"
She smiled, figuring it was an easy one to answer, "Of course... I love the little thing you do with your..."
He grabbed her shoulders, a little roughly, "Anya, I'm serious. Do you... love me?" He silently hoped and prayed. If she did, he'd try to work things out. He'd do it for her. But if she didn't, he didn't want to waste his time.
She cocked her head slightly, looking at him deeply. It took her quite a while to answer, all the while Xander became more and more afraid. What was taking her so long? If she did, why didn't she just tell him? He was startled when she spoke, finally, "I... don't know. I haven't been human long enough to understand what love is."
He looked down, defeated. For the sake of posterity, he tried to coach her, "A year is more than enough, Anya... no one is going to hand you a sheet of paper titled 'This Is What Love Is'... you just, know... Tell me, when you seem me... what reacts first... your heart, or your, um, hormones?"
Anya, slipping back into her childish newness, thought she saw what this was all about, "Xander, you know you get me really hot..." The deadly seriously look returned, and she was silenced.
"Anya... I know you're all about the shiny things and the sex... but beyond that, is there... is there anything?"
Anya was silent for a long time. This, again, was a bad sign for Xander. Anya's face slowly drew into a frown, as she searched deep within the new being she was. As deep as she dug, as long as she took, she came to one realization, "...No." She said it quietly, almost in a whisper. There was sadness behind it, like when the owner of a lost puppy comes to take it back from you. After getting so close to it, ultimately realizing it was never really yours. And it never would be.
Xander's face belied the brave front he was putting up. He sadly helped Anya up, and led her to the bedroom. He stopped at the door, as she looked at him questioningly. He looked sadly at her and said, "Anya, I... I think it'd be best for us if you went back to your place... and took your stuff with you."
"But Xander..." She nearly cried.
"Anya... we shouldn't waste each other's time... you don't love me, I don't love you... we should just be done with it."
Anya looked about to cry, "You don't love me."
He looked at her, stressing how moot the point was, "If you loved me, I'd have tried my hardest to find a way to love you... but you don't... so we have no idea if it'll *ever* happen... I'd rather you have a chance to find somebody that'll *really* love you... and the same for me."
"But..."
He shook his head, silencing her, "Just go, okay? I don't want to make this tougher than it already is."
She nodded, and went in to get her things, closing the door behind her. He walked slowly over to the couch, to sit down in silence. He held himself together for the half-hour it took her to gather her things, and they bid each other farewell with a chaste kiss on the cheek each. When the door had closed, and the wall was finally broken, he let everything he'd been holding in fall out. Tears, fears, and everything else he wished he could express.

End Part 1