Disclaimer: I do not own ER or any of the characters. This story was written before I saw the episode "Just As I Am". It is a look inside the head of Kerry Weaver's birth mother. It's the first ER story I've written, so please be gentle!

Regrets.

Regrets. I suppose everyone has them. After all, I've been on this earth fifty-six years so I've had enough time. For instance, I regret that after giving up for three whole months, I started smoking again last week. I regret shouting at my daughter earlier for something that wasn't her fault. Most of all, though, I regret giving away my baby.

If I think about it logically, it was the right thing to do; I was fourteen years old, had no money and no way of supporting a child; but the heart rarely thinks logically.

I can remember that day as if it were yesterday. I was so frightened. I'd never felt pain like it before. Then, suddenly, it was all over and I was holding the most beautiful baby girl I'd ever seen. She was perfect in every way. Ten little fingers and ten tiny toes. She had a full head of red hair and the brightest blue eyes. I wrapped her in the little cardigan and blanket I'd bought for her and held her close to calm her crying.

After a while I looked up at the clock and saw the time. My parents were due home in just over half an hour. If they came home and saw the baby they'd kill me. The time I had been dreading had arrived. I walked to the nearby hospital and laid her by the doorway with the note I'd written, telling whoever found my baby that her name was Kerry, and would they please find her a loving home. I then left. Today my baby turned forty-two. I keep hoping some day that she will find me and I will get the opportunity to explain.