Rating: G…ish XD There are some innuendos…but it's Matt and Mello…it comes with the territory :D Nothing too racy though :D

Spoilers: Real names.

You've Got Mail!

Matt sat at his computer, browsing through websites when a large ad blocked the middle of his Tetris game.

COME TAKE OUR SURVEY!!!

Matt clicked the red x. Game or survey? Tetris was going to win every time.

COME TAKE OUR SURVEY!!!

Matt grimaced. He clicked on the link to the survey. "Might as well…"

"Matt, what are you doing?"

Matt didn't respond to his friend. He scrolled down and clicked, 'take survey.'

"I don't think you heard me. What are you doing?"

"Taking a survey."

"Why?"

Near, who was sitting on the ground close by, glanced up in interest.

"It seems like fun."

1. What is your full name?

Mail Jeevas

"What about your middle name?"

"I don't have a middle name Mello."

"How could you not have a middle name?"

"I just don't."

2. Were you named after anyone...who?

Apparently a mail man and a butler.

"Isn't a butler Jeeves?"

"Shut up Mello."

"No, I agree with Mello. A butler is Jeeves…and isn't your name pronounced Mile?"

"Get out of here you sheep! This doesn't involve you."

"I don't believe that Matt cares whether I'm around or not, do you Matt?"

"…"

3. Where were you born?

Kilkenny, Ireland.

"Really? I could never tell. You keep dying your hair."

"Hey-"

"And you don't have much of an accent either."

4. Do you like where you live...why?

I live at school. Who would want to live at school?

"I quite like it here."

"Well, you're weird Near."

5. Do you get along with your parents?

Considering that they're dead…yeah, we get along all right.

"No comments Mello?"

"I've got nothing to say Matt."

6. Do you have any pets? Describe them...

Well I'd LIKE a Pomeranian puppy, but Mello said no pets in our room. :P

"Your cigarettes already cause a problem."

"Excuse me for relaxing!"

"Besides, Roger doesn't like dogs anyways."

"I don't believe Matt asked for your input Near!"

7. What is more difficult for you, looking into someone's eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone's eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

I don't see how this is a relevant question.

"Wuss."

"What?"

"Answer the question!"

But! I'd have to pick when I tell them how I feel.

8. You are stuck on an elevator with the person you fell hardest for. What happens?

I suppose it'd be very awkward.

"Who'd you fall hardest for?"

"Um…no one Mello."

"Matt, you're blushing."

"Shut up Near! No I'm not!"

9. If you were stranded on a desert island and could only bring one person and three items with you…what would you bring?

Well, I'd bring my videogames, cigarettes, and…I suppose a lifeboat? And I guess I'd bring Mello but I think he'd cause more problems than what it's worth.

"Well I wouldn't want to be stuck on an island with you anyways!"

"Good. Because I'm not taking you."

10. Who was your first kiss?

Linda.

"Linda?!"

"Heh…we were playing spin the bottle."

"But LINDA!"

"What's wrong with Linda Mello?"

"Shut up Near!"

11. Coke or Pepsi?

Both! Wait…I can't choose both? That's blasphemy. I guess I'd go with Pepsi.

"Blasphemy?"

"Yes. Total blasphemy."

"You know, I always pegged you as a Coke kind of guy."

"I can assure you, I like Pepsi."

12. You are unfaithful to your spouse/significant other. Do you tell him/her? Why or Why not?

Oh yeah. Made the mistake of not saying anything once. It landed me a black eye. Never going to happen AGAIN.

"What, were you cheating with Linda?"

"Again, what's wrong with Linda?"

"I wasn't talking to you Near!"

"It's none of your business anyways Mello."

13. Best child's TV show?

Full House. You can't get much funnier than Bob Saget.

"Nah, I think you watched it for those Olsen twins."

"You got it dude."

14. Do you wear a lot of black?

Black's not really my thing unless it's paired with something else. Besides, Mels sort of called the whole 'black is my color' thing.

"Yeah…besides, you can't pull off black…it would make you look too Goth."

"What about you?"

"Black makes me look good. But between your blood red hair and pasty skin, you'd look like a vampire in black."

"But girls like vampires."

"Yeah, the Smeyerpires…not nerdy videogame playing vamps."

15. Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?

I live on the top floor at Wammy's so unless they were walking on AIR, they probably wouldn't be outside my window. However, I'd probably like Mello (who has a gun) or L (who knows Capoeira) to be around.

"Guns aren't allowed at Wammy's Mello."

"Well alright then Near, when you get attacked by a serial killer I won't bring in my amazingly awesome gun and save you."

16. How far have you gone with a boy?

3rd base ;)

"Matt…I think you've rendered Mello speechless."

"We played lots of baseball in Ireland…sue me."

17. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more then just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?

Mels! I had NO idea! Why didn't you tell me sooner? :)

"Tch. You wish."

18. Do you like cottage cheese?

It's alright. Kind of lumpy for my taste though.

"Ew. Heath food."

"Maybe if you tried it you'd like it."

"Do YOU like cottage cheese Near?"

"Yes, I'm quite fond of it actually."

"…shut up!"

19. If your life was a movie, who would play you?

Drake Bell

"What! No! His best buddy is Josh Peck and I'm NOT going to be played by him!"

"Well you might be the way you've been going through those chocolate bars."

"I dare you to say that again!"

20. You are holding onto your grandmother's hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?

My grandmother (like my parents) isn't alive, so I'd pick the newborn by default. Plus, there's a bunch of morals involved in saving someone who has light-years of life ahead of them.

"So…are you done?"

"Yep."

"Thank god that's over."

"Oh look Mels, you got mail!"


A/N: Alright…I went screwy with the timeline. Currently, they're in Wammy's (I guess…they're about 12-13???) on anime timeline which makes the year about 2006 or 2007. Smeyer came out with her book in 2005 and Full House is still on air XD. Drake Bell was like…20 in 2006... So…I didn't screw with the timeline like I thought I had XD. Go me!

Anyhow…did this get any laughs? Or am I terrible at comedy? I'd always imagined Matt to be kind of cheeky. So...I hope I got his character alright XD.

I don't know if I should continue. I have plans to do at least Mello and Near. Possibly some of the other characters if you guys want me to write for them. I'd like to continue and do some really obscure characters XD.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. This applies to all future chapters. Thank you. :D