You're over me?
Stefan sat in his kitchen drinking yet another beer as he tried to forget his grief. He was glad that Ivy was not there as he needed a break from her and her incessant questioning. She was a nice distraction from the pain but that's all she was and he sensed that she wanted more from him than he was willing to give. He liked her, but he wasn't looking for love just something to distract him from his pain and sorrow.
Damon was dead.
Nothing would ever be okay for him again. His big brother died bringing Stefan back from death after he sacrificed his life to save his best friend. He felt guilty that Damon died, but not that he'd kept his promise to her. He wouldn't let anything happen to her, and he kept that promise to his last breath. Only now he couldn't bare to speak to her, he couldn't let himself need her, because she would just drag him back home.
Back to a home he could no longer enter without dying. Not that it mattered. If they ever managed to lift the spell and he could go back to the boarding house, he wouldn't. He couldn't. It would never be home to him again now that Damon was dead. He couldn't live within the walls that held so many good and bad memories of his brother.
He could never step foot in Mystic Falls again.
Which meant that he would never see Caroline again. She wouldn't stop until she found a way into that cursed town. She loved it too much.
A ring from his phone interrupted his thoughts. He picked it up and his heart cracked as he saw the name he had been avoiding speaking to for months.
Caroline.
His hand shook as it hovered over the phone, one swipe across the screen and he would hear her voice again. He craved to hear it. He hadn't allowed himself to in months, after he listened to one of her tearful broken messages that tore at his heart and took everything inside of him to stop himself from speeding back to her.
That was the kind of power she had over him.
He let the call from her go to voice mail. Then he used his strength to push into the screen, splintering the glass and breaking the phone to pieces. He couldn't listen to her sweet voice begging him to come home. Never again. He couldn't handle it.
He couldn't handle that she would just sit with him and let him cry. Let him grieve. He didn't want to grieve; he didn't want to admit that Damon was truly gone even if he had given up looking for a way. For the first time in 165 years he was truly alone. He had no family.
Just a shitty job with a shitty boss in a shitty town with a not so shitty girlfriend. It was where he had to be to move on with his life and start over. But it was not where he wanted to be in the slightest. He was not with the girl that he wanted to be with.
As soon as that thought entered his head he necked the rest of the beer and went over to the cupboard to pull out something much stronger. Damon's favorite brand of bourbon. He only let himself drink it when he was feeling depressed and trapped in this life he didn't really want but forced himself to go through the motions every day.
He poured himself a glass, staring into the amber contents as he contemplated the mess his life was. His brother was dead. He was ignoring his best friend. He was barred from his hometown. Cut off from his friends, granted that was his own choice, only talking to Ric, lying to him that he was still looking for Damon and Bonnie. He just couldn't tell him that he'd given up. He picked up the glass and swallowed the contents whole.
He poured himself another them knocked it back. And repeated it again. Every shot was accompanied by a name. The names that were tearing him apart from missing them.
Damon; drink.
Caroline; drink.
Again and again as he sunk shot after shot he thought of the two people he cared about most until he was a drunk sobbing mess.
When he was no longer able to think clearly after drinking the entire contents he stumbled out of his home in search of the nearest payphone.
He took the receiver off the handle, shakily putting the coins in, dialing the number he could never forget. He prayed that she wouldn't answer just as much as he wanted her to answer. Thankfully it went straight to her voice mail. A sob escaping him as he heard her beautifully happy message.
"Hey! It's Caroline, but duh. You knew that, because you called. So, leave a message, and I'll call you back. Bye!"
"Caroline..." Stefan choked out her name, tears falling in a steady stream down his face, "I miss you. God I hate that I miss you so much." He rest his arm above him, laying his head against the glass of the window, his eyes clenched tightly, "Why was it hardest to leave you behind? And why can't I stop thinking about you? Wondering how you are and if anyone is helping you grieve."
He stared out, looking at nothing as his voice became thick with tears, "It should have been me. I should have been holding you as you cried just as I need you to hold me. I should have stayed..." He clenched his jaw, all those painful feelings coming back as the alcohol started to wear off, "But I couldn't. I couldn't stay there any longer. Not with memories of Damon everywhere and the direction you and I were going in." He felt like he'd been stabbed in the chest but he forced himself to say the words, "I have a girlfriend now. Ivy. She's nice and helps me forget the pain." A half-truth at best, while she was an easy distraction she could never truly make him forget his pain, "We're happy."
He clenched his fingers into a fist, holding back the sobs as much as he could as he lied to Caroline, "So happy together. I have a house and a job and a girlfriend. So I don't- I don't have need for you anymore." He hated himself even more for telling her this. He would always need her in his life. More than she would ever know, "So... I am over you. I am over you." Perhaps if he kept telling himself that it would become true.
"So I will live my life with Ivy and you can live your life with..." He frowned, his voice almost a growl at his next words, "Anyone but Tyler." He swallowed back another cry and whispered into the phone before hanging up, "I am over you."
Stefan stumbled back to his house, falling into his bed as he passed out.
When he woke with a killer hangover he had forgotten all about the drunken call he had made to Caroline.
A month later
Caroline was in her dorm, staring at her phone, the screen indicating that she had messages waiting. In all the pain and heartbreak of the past few weeks she hadn't even bothered checking her voicemail.
Enzo and her had surprised Stefan in his new life in Savannah with his new girlfriend. He had broken her heart by never listening to her messages. Then Stefan had come back seemingly to apologize but he actually wanted revenge on Enzo for killing Ivy. Then she had humiliatingly asked him to stay, practically begging him to stay with her, and he had just walked away like they had meant nothing to each other. The second broken heart that he had given her.
Then... Stefan had the nerve to ask her to teach Ivy control after he went back to Savannah and found her not so dead but a vampire. She should have said no but she still couldn't say no to Stefan. She stupidly hoped that if she did this he might stick around. Wrong again. He was halfway back to Savannah when he must have finally got her message that Ivy was gone. Another fight where he tells her he just wants to move on, and yet another broken heart caused by him. So she finally admitted defeat and told him to get in his car and go, he looked hurt for a moment before leaving.
She went back to her dorm and had another broken hearted cry over Stefan. God, she lost count of how many times she'd cried over him in the last few months. Too many. She was ready to let him go completely and try to get over him when his name popped up on her phone. She thought she was hallucinating. She almost ignored it but glutton for punishment that she was she answered, and Stefan told her something that both raised her hopes and crushed her at the same time.
Damon was alive! But Bonnie wasn't. She wasn't where he had been. She prayed that meant that Bonnie was at peace.
Wanting to distract herself from the pain she accessed her voicemail, surprised when the date of the first message was from a month ago. It was just someone trying to sell her something so she deleted it. Then another message that didn't mean anything to her. She had just started the next one when Stefan appeared in the open doorway. She glared at him, "What are you-"
Her words were frozen and her eyes were wide as she heard Stefan's voice come through the phone.
"Caroline..."
Stefan's eyes widened in horror as he heard his voice come through the phone. The drunken phone call suddenly coming back to him. He rushed over to her, panic in his eyes as he tried to stop her, "Caroline, don't."
Caroline ignored him, vamping to the other side of the room. Never taking her eyes off him as she listened to his message.
"I miss you. God I hate that I miss you so much. Why was it hardest to leave you behind? And why can't I stop thinking about you? Wondering how you are and if anyone is helping you grieve."
Caroline felt tears fill her eyes as she heard how broken his voice was.
"It should have been me. I should have been holding you as you cried just as I need you to hold me. I should have stayed... But I couldn't. I couldn't stay there any longer. Not with memories of Damon everywhere and the direction you and I were going in."
Caroline's breath caught. Hope suddenly filling her, only to be crushed by his next words.
"I have a girlfriend now. Ivy. She's nice and helps me forget the pain. We're happy. So happy together. I have a house and a job and a girlfriend. So I don't- I don't have need for you anymore."
As if Caroline didn't think he could break her heart any more than he already had, hearing the words that he didn't need her in his life anymore just about broke her soul in two. She wanted to delete the message immediately but she forced herself to hear the rest. She needed to hear how he didn't want or need her so that she could start healing and move on with her life.
His next words stole the breath from her chest.
"So... I am over you. I am over you. So I will live my life with Ivy and you can live your life with..." His voice then turned into a growl, "Anyone but Tyler." Then he whispered, "I am over you."
Caroline's stared into Stefan's big scared green eyes, her own wide and shocked. She let her hand fall from her ear, looking at the phone as if it held the answers. She licked her lips, her voice no more than a whisper, "You're over me?"
"Oh god." Stefan shuts his eyes tightly, praying that he was actually in a nightmare and right now couldn't possibly be happening.
Caroline couldn't believe what she'd heard, she needed to know the meaning of how exactly he was over her, so she couldn't help repeating, "You're uh, you're, you're over me?"
Stefan clenched his hands by his sides. He was scared to open his eyes to see what expression was on her face. Was she horrified that he had feelings for her? Or was she happy? He didn't know which one he was hoping for more so he stayed silent.
"When, when were you..." Caroline swallowed, her heart stuttering in her chest, "under me?" At his continued impression of a mute statue she couldn't help but snap, "Stefan! Do you... have... feelings... for me?"
Stefan finally opened his eyes to look at her. Her beautifully confused and hesitant face. He had a choice to make. He could admit to the feelings he'd been starting to develop for her before he lost his brother and nothing else mattered to him, or he could put it down to a drunken phone call that didn't mean what it sounded like.
Caroline took his silence for an answer. She blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to will away the tears. She turned her back on him, placing the phone on the table by her bed. She shook her head and laughed, "What was I thinking? Of course you don't have feelings for me."
Stefan looked at her tense back. He could feel that she was going to put her walls back up and pretend that phone call never happened. She was giving him the perfect out. He could bury what he felt, and try and get back the friendship between them. Though after the way he's treated her he knew it would never be the same. She would never again come to him with her problems, she wouldn't smile at him; wide and free. She wouldn't laugh with him as they talked by the fire. No, he would just be another name added to the list that had hurt her.
Damon. Matt. Tyler. Klaus. Him.
If he let her close that door, the terrifying forbidden door, then he would lose her forever.
Caroline needed Stefan to leave. She needed him gone so that she could cry and perhaps never stop, before somehow she found the strength to smile again and move past this thing inside of her that wanted him.
She just had to be strong for a few more horrible minutes, just enough time to get him to leave, and then she would start on the job of taping up her broken heart. Move on from Stefan Salvatore for good. And remove him from her life completely.
She took a deep breath, and spoke to Stefan even as she stared unseeing at the wall, "You can go back to your brother now. I need to study."
Stefan knew the process of losing her had already begun. She was tense and wouldn't look at him. If he left right now, he was sure that she would slowly but surely disappear from his life completely until she was just a girl he used to know. A regret. A what if.
He didn't want another of those in his life, he already had plenty. So he sucked in a determined breath, and for once in the past four months he would stop running away from his feelings.
Caroline was listening for the close of the door before she turned around. She was afraid that she would burst into tears at the sight of his confused face. Why would she think that he has feelings for her? Why would a guy like Stefan, who had girls fighting for him all the time, feel anything for a girl like her, who no one ever fought for, and was so easily left behind by those she loved.
Stefan crossed the distance between them, took hold of her arm and turned her to face him. He took a moment to admire her gorgeous confused face before he took hold of her jaw and pushed his lips onto hers. All at once the feelings he had been desperately pushing away rushed into his body. His heart raced and his lips felt like they were on fire from where they touched hers. He wanted more, no, he needed more. He sunk his hand into her hair, wrapping his fingers around her blonde curls, and pushed her more firmly against him as he kissed her harder.
Caroline was in shock. Stefan's hand was in her hair and his lips were kissing her. Stefan Salvatore was thoroughly kissing her, and she was frozen against him. She wasn't kissing him back, nor were her hands on his body. She wanted to be, she had been dreaming of this moment for months, even years, but the quick change from mute to passionate creature made her head spin. She didn't know what to feel or whether to believe it. He couldn't actually want her.
Stefan pulled away from her with a frown. His whole body felt electrified from just touching her, but she hadn't responded. His heart clenched, his fingers shook against her, he stared desperately into her eyes as he asked, "Do you not... have feelings for me too?"
Caroline's eyes went wide, disbelief clear in her features as she replied, "You never said you had feelings for me!"
Stefan cursed his lack of words since entering her dorm and hearing her listen to his message. Of course she wouldn't believe his drunken ramblings when he had stood still in the room not saying a word. He was an idiot.
He dropped his head against hers, moving both hands to cup her cheeks, and finally confessed to her, "I have had feelings for you for a while now." He closed his eyes as he soaked in her close presence which he hasn't felt since being on the bench after losing Damon and Lexi, "Losing my brother, it destroyed me, and I couldn't cling on to you like I wanted because I felt like I didn't deserve it."
Caroline frowned, searching his eyes, seeing the lingering pain amongst the new hope. She was afraid to trust it. He had broken her heart several times since he'd left, and she wasn't sure whether she could trust him with it. She closed her eyes, chewing her lip as she debated within herself.
"I know I've broken things between us." Stefan stroked his thumbs along her cheeks, savoring the feel of her against him, which could either be for the last time or the first time of many, it all depended on her, "I just hope not irreparably. Because I don't know how to live this life without you."
"You did a pretty good job for the last four months." Caroline fired back. The hurt that he'd got a house, a job, and a new girlfriend while she was falling apart without him still stung.
"No I didn't." Stefan shook his head, trying to implore her with his eyes to believe him, "I was falling apart, and running away from everything." He blew out a breath as he confessed, "From you."
Caroline swallowed, her voice a hurt whisper, "Was I really so hard to be around? If I was too suffocating, you should have just said."
Stefan silenced her with a tender brush of lips, smiling in wonder as he pulled back to look in her eyes, "You were perfect." He was drawn back to her lips and couldn't help but cover them with his, kissing her longer just to revel in the feel of her, "You were the one person that would just sit with me and let me cry, and I didn't want to cry anymore. So I pushed you away... the most."
Caroline stared into those green eyes of his, seeing the truth clear in his gaze. Some weight was finally lifted off her chest by hearing that she hadn't done anything specific to make him run away. She smiled at him, that old spark returning to her eyes, "Thank you... for saying that."
Stefan let the hope fill him, smiling back at her as easily as he always had. He traced his thumb across her bottom lip, the urge to kiss her again almost painful, but he had to be sure, "Do you feel something for me?"
Caroline nodded her head, a shiver running down her spine at the way he teased her lip with his thumb. Her lips opened as she released a shuddering breath, and the next thing she knew Stefan was kissing her. She didn't resist this time. She opened her mouth against his, moving passionately with his, her hands snaking beneath his jacket to clutch at his waist. He felt so good.
Stefan hummed as he felt her hands against him. He ran one of his hands down her back to wrap around her, holding her closer to him, his other fisting in her hair, desire boiling in his veins. He walked her backwards until her legs hit the edge of her bed, falling gracefully onto it. He smiled as her legs folded around him, her hands sliding beneath his shirt, a moan escaping him as they stroked fire against his skin.
Caroline gasped as she felt him pressing her down into the mattress, his hard body feeling amazing on top of her, even through the layers of clothes. With that in mind she moved her hands from beneath his shirt to tug at his jacket, telling him without words what she wanted.
Stefan smiled into those gorgeous eyes of her, taking his hands away from her so that he could remove his jacket, and then his shirt. He trailed his hands along her thighs, asking with his eyes if he could remove her dress. She bit her lip and nodded. So he pushed her dress up, bunching it at her waist as he sunk to his knees by her bed, spreading kisses along her thighs, loving how she opened them fully to him.
Caroline pulled her dress off the rest of the way, her breathing coming in pants the closer he got to her soaking core. She raised herself up on her elbows to watch him, those green eyes sparkling at her as he placed a tender kiss over her panty covered mound. She felt his fingers tug against her underwear, so she raised her hips, he moved them down her legs so tantalizingly slowly. She couldn't take her eyes off him, especially when he licked his lips, eyeing her exposed pussy like it was a feast he couldn't wait to eat. She shuddered, more turned on than she'd ever been before.
Stefan placed her legs over his shoulders, lowering his head down to have his first taste of her. He swiped his tongue up her folds to circle around her clit. He groaned, her unique taste exploded on his tongue, making him only want more of her. He dived back in, hungrily licking at her core, his fingers digging into her thighs as he feasted on her. The cries she let out only fueled him, the need to make her completely fall apart his singular goal. He moved to her clit, licking and sucking and biting, moaning in appreciation as she bucked against him.
Caroline fell against the bed, no longer having the strength to hold herself up. She moaned as he brought her closer to heaven with his mouth. She reached down, running her nails through his hair, shuddering when he moaned against her pussy, the vibration making her core tighten, her hips rocking against his lips as she neared her peak. He sucked her clit harshly, her hips jerking sporadically against him, her back arching as she came with a scream of his name.
Stefan moved back to her core, groaning desperately as he ate her out, the taste of her making him go wild. He needed to be inside of her. He undid his jeans, pushing them down his legs and kicking them off as he continued to taste her juices. Once he was free he tore himself away from her delicious pussy, kissing his way up her body, he took hold of her hips to shuffle her further up the bed until her head rest on the pillow and he was pressed against her. He chuckled as he noticed she still had her bra on, his fingers sliding to take hold of the straps and push them off her shoulders, "Nothing will be between us ever again."
Caroline gasped at the meaning of his words, overwhelmed with the passion of his touch and the feelings in her heart. She arched her back so that he could undo it, watching his face as she was revealed fully to his eyes. He cupped her breasts, rolling his thumbs around her nipples making her moan, the action shooting a pulse of desire straight to her core. She slid her hand in his hair as he closed his mouth around her hard bud, the hum he let out made her shiver.
Stefan dragged his mouth over to her other breast, sucking her neglected nipple into his mouth as he hummed. She was so responsive to him; moaning, arching, shuddering, crying out his name. He was addicted to the sounds she made, and he needed to know what she would moan when he slid into her for the first time. He released her nipple, moving up so that his cock nudged at her soaked core. He wanted to bury himself inside of her so bad, taking an almost herculean effort to hold back, but he had to be sure. He kissed her softly, before looking deeply into her eyes, "Are you sure, Caroline? If I make love to you... I'll never leave you again."
Caroline released a happy sigh, a breathtaking smile covering her lips as she finally believed that he had feelings for her. She raised her knees up to cradle him, her fingers holding on to his biceps, her eyes wide and sincere, "I'll never want you to." She lifted her head up, kissing him with intense longing, practically whimpering against his lips, "Make love to me, Stefan."
Stefan pushed into her, his mouth opening on a gasp at the way her channel gloved him, feeling so right that his whole world narrowed down to her and him in this small bed. He pulled back until only the tip remained inside before gliding his way back in. He groaned at the wonderful feeling of her surrounding him, her moans music to his ears. He started a slow rhythm, pulling out only to thrust right back where he belonged. Kissing her when he could manage, when he couldn't he just groaned helplessly against her. He reached for her hands, sliding his fingers through hers, pulling them up over her head, connected them in every single way as he made love to her.
Caroline gasped as he moved within her, his dick hitting her spot every time he moved, sending her wild, moans falling from her mouth like a litany. She wrapped her legs around his waist, digging her heels into his ass as she pulled him further into her, her breathing harsh, her eyes caught in his gaze as he moved faster within her. The look in his eyes took her breath away, behind the desire was this look of awed love that made her heart throb in her chest.
Stefan was lost completely to the feel of being surrounded by Caroline. His ears were full with the sound of her pleasure, his body was alive and on fire being consumed by her, and his eyes saw nothing else but the blue of her eyes and the wondrous feel of her feelings swimming in their endless depths. He felt like he could fly, never wanting to leave the heaven of her, his heart threatening to jump out of his chest. He could feel the shudders of her channel clenching around him, making his own release near.
Caroline arched her back as her pussy exploded in unending pleasure, Stefan's name released on a long gasp, her legs tightening around him. She flew off the edge of the world, her body feeling weightless and electrified at the same time, her only anchor the slam of his hips into hers.
Stefan grunted as he pounded into her. The sight of her falling over the edge was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen, and started his own intense orgasm. He felt it in every part of him, heat pooling in his stomach, fire catching in his veins, her pleasure filled orbs the only thing he could see. As he bucked inside her one last time, releasing his seed within her trembling walls, he couldn't help but moan, "I love you, Caroline."
Caroline's eyes opened wide, her breath catching as she stared at his shocked but hopeful eyes. She licked her lips, trying to calm her racing heart as she returned them easily, "I love you too."
Stefan smiled so wide his eyes crinkled in the corner, finally releasing her hand to cradle her jaw, caressing her face reverently as he stared into her eyes, "Just to be clear... I'll never be over you."
Caroline rolled her eyes even as she giggled, "You just had to make it cheesy."
Stefan laughed in amazement. She was the most amazing girl he'd ever known. They'd just made love, confessing for the first time that they loved each other, and she had made him laugh. The only one who ever could, no matter the situation. One of the many reasons he loved her.
Caroline beamed at the sound of his laughter, her favorite sound in the whole world, and one she hoped that she would hear more often. She tilted her head up to kiss his laughing lips, the feel of it against her even more amazing than hearing it.
Stefan smiled returning her kiss eagerly. He rolled off of her, bringing her into the circle of his arms, continuing to kiss those perfect lips of hers. He could stay like this, surrounded by Caroline, for every day of his eternity.
Caroline savored the taste of his lips, and the feel of his body against hers. She was content, which was amazing seeing how she was heartbroken barely an hour ago. She pulled away to gaze into his eyes, admitting to him, "I'd never be over you either."
Stefan stroked his thumb across her cheek before covering her lips with his again. He moved her on top of him, smiling at the sounds of her sweet giggles.
Thank god for a drunken phone call, and for Caroline not checking her voicemail.
THE END
AN - I hope you all enjoyed it!
