I only wanted a place to belong to… But was that wish too much for me, I wonder? With my heart broken… With nothing left in this world… Where am I supposed to go now? Ah… I really wouldn't mind becoming your prey, dragon… Do what you want with me, but spare me the suffering…
The young blonde girl fallen on the cold ground thought with tears rolling on her cheeks, her hand outstretched towards the brilliant feathered being that shined in the light of the full moon above her.
The dragon looked at her with its gem-like eyes that reflected all the colours of the rainbow. It rose on its feet, outstretching its two pairs of feathered white wings, roaring loudly towards the moon, the sound echoing into the forests it was hidden, followed by the answers of the frightened animals. Yet, the moon answered without fear, letting its light befall the meadow and cover both the dragon and the maiden that offered herself as prey.
Lucy looked up to her with tearful eyes, gulping in an attempt to face her fate. But she could not stop the shaking of her right hand, still outstretched to the divine being. In her left hand, she held her friends that filled her life with joy, the celestial keys, which as if answering to the roar of the dragon and their master's trembling heart, shone brightly like they never did.
The dragon stepped forward once towards the girl, filling its vision with her form and the light of her keys. It leaned its head to her level, letting the girl marvel with the colour of its eyes… as it opened her jaws… sealing the girl's fate…
'I'm sorry… Gray… Wendy… Minna… I'm so sorry…' Lucy lastly thought before she stopped shaking, her eyes closed.
It's been slow… The change that made Lucy become quieter and quieter wasn't immediate. But it surely started after the return from Edolas. Or better said, after Lisanna's return from Edolas…
Her light was bright as everyone was overjoyed to have her back. But almost no one realised that her light cast a long shadow… on Lucy.
The first week since Lisanna returned, Lucy, who had no relationship with her, understood the need to be by her side that everyone had, that longing to have your beloved near you. Only Wendy really understood her, together with Gajeel. All three of them arrived in the guild after the tragedy that caused Lisanna's supposed death, but the three of them had different ways of dealing with this new atmosphere once she returned.
Wendy immediately managed to bond with Lisanna, sharing talks of their adventures.
Gajeel didn't try anything but nor did he mind, finding consolation in the constant party at the guild and the fights he could participate in.
But Lucy seemed to not be able to bond with the silver haired girl no matter how much they both tried. They couldn't find a subject to talk about, nor could they get rid of the awkwardness they both felt.
But since that week, Lucy couldn't go on another mission with anyone else, since the teams practically stopped doing anything because of the constant party. Lucy was forced to go on small jobs on her own in order to be able to pay her rent, but that only managed to enlarge the rift between the guild and herself.
Lucy earnestly felt happy for them and for their reunion, but… She couldn't help but begin to feel like an outsider.
The second week, she started feeling despair by beginning to think that she was being forgotten. The thought of being abandoned couldn't leave her mind and together with it, the idea of leaving the guild began to cross her mind, causing her to shiver each time it came to her. It was only a handful of people that noticed this change in Lucy, subtle, but existent.
Levy and Gray were the first to realise and start to support her, having never made any special memories with the younger Strauss like the others did. Juvia was easily bonding with Lisanna, but she didn't forget about her love rival either. Gajeel couldn't help but mind Lucy as well since Levy was doing the same. Then, Wendy and Charla, who were in the same boat just not so long ago, decided to do their best to be by the side of their good friend, instead of letting themselves taken by the flow and the hype like the others did. And the last one was, of course, the Master, Makarov never allowing himself to be impartial to any of his children. As an elder, he knew very well what Lucy was going through.
But the third week was the worst. It was then when all the hope she had of returning this world to normal had died…
It was a cloudy afternoon, Lucy feeling a bit sick since she couldn't sleep properly the night before. That was why she decided to drink one of Mira's famous milkshakes before heading to Wendy for some treatment.
The blonde was thus sitting at the bar, enjoying her milkshake and reading the morning newspaper, which for some reason didn't arrive at her apartment this morning. That was when Natsu and Erza came and sat near her, causing her heart to skip a beat and a bright smile to appear on her face, despite her paleness. Her eyes once again sparkled with life as she saw the smile and grin of her teammates.
"Hey, Luce! Reading the news? I thought you do that at home," Natsu said with his head tilted, like a little child.
"Yeah, well, the newspaper didn't arrive at my place this morning, so here I am. What are you guys doing, though?" She asked, hoping for the magic words of 'we were thinking of going on a mission'.
"Ah, we actually wanted to go out on a mission, and we had something to talk with you about," Natsu continued, having her full attention.
"Sure, what is it?"
"Do you recall when we told you about Lisanna as us in our childhood? About how we used to do a lot of things together?" Erza instead took over the conversation, her eyes not even in the slightest hesitant, but showing a bit of sadness and nostalgy.
"Yes, I do remember. What of it?" Lucy asked, oblivious of what was to follow. Maybe… if she didn't ask, and just left, everything would have been changed…
"Well, we thought about teaming up with her again."
"I do not mind having her into the team. In fact, that could help us two bond better, hehe…" The blonde giggled, already seeing that future.
"No, Lucy…" Erza said, showing pity in her eyes towards the girl, who already hinted something from this gaze. "We want to recreate the team… Without you."
"It's not anything personal, but our team was starting to get too big and, well… You only fight with your keys really. Holder magic is not too amazing so… Sorry, Lucy." Natsu told her with a pitying smile, awaiting only her reply.
Still, the reply was late. She chocolate eyed girl stared in shock, her eyes wavering. She trembled, feeling the urge to cry as she processed the information. She barely contained herself from bursting into tears, having a sole wish.
'Not in front of them…'
"S-Sure, I understand… After all, this is… Your team, isn't it? Go ahead! Have fun!" The girl forced herself to smile, her hands shaking. Only Erza noticed this, but while she felt pity, it was too late to take it back, so she put up a front and smiled as she stood up.
"Thanks, Lucy! See you tomorrow then!" Natsu waved as the two of them left, finding Lisanna and telling her the good news. But Lisanna wasn't overjoyed at all, this being the first time hearing of this proposal. She immediately searched for Lucy with her sight, finding the girl at the bar, with her back turned and her head hung down, before she ran to the mission board, took a random paper and headed for the exit door.
Lisanna felt obliged to follow after her, running without telling Natsu or Erza anything.
"Lucy! Wait!" She shouted, seeing her hurry to the front gates. Lucy, hesitantly, stopped, but she didn't turn around, since she was already crying as she gripped tightly the mission she just snatched.
"Lucy… I'm so sorry!" Lisanna said as she bowed deeply. "I promise you, I didn't know anything about what they were planning! I'll go and talk with them in a second so please, don't be mad… I too… I too want to go on missions with you and be your friend! Even if it's so awkward now…"
"It's alright… Lisanna, it's alright…" Lucy muttered, barely audible. She couldn't help but look up to the sky, letting herself bathe in the light of the sun which dried her tears. "You don't need to do anything about it… I would have liked to become good friends with you as well, but the circumstances seem to not work in our favour. Yet… I cannot bring myself to be part of that team after this, I'm sorry…"
"L-Lucy, I-!"
"It's fine!" She finally turned around, showing Lisanna a bright smile drenched with tears as she sun shone brightly behind her, making her look like a martyr. "Just…have fun with them, in my stead as well… I'll manage on my own, so don't worry about me… Please, don't be upset on my behalf…You did nothing wrong after all. So, I'll go cool my head off on a mission, please tell your sister that for me, ok?" She laughed, but it was so visibly forced that Lisanna could only feel more sadness in her soul. Yet, she didn't want to pity Lucy as well, just like the others were, so she smiled, just as forced.
"O-ok! Take care and come back safe!" She exclaimed, before turning back and running back into the guild, feeling herself ready to cry at any moment.
Lucy smiled bitterly, crystals appearing in her eyes again as she looked for the first time at the paper in her hand, giggling slowly before turning her gaze towards the guild.
"Seems like I… I cannot promise that…" She muttered with a shiver running her back, before turning around and running off towards her home, unknown to her that this was a farewell to this city…
An hour later, as the evening fell over the country, a blonde mage left her home with a single bag in her hands, having left the mission note on her desk at home, as an assurance.
"Am I… weak? So deserving of their pity…? Am I only relying on my spirits?" She asked herself as she boarded a train that was to take her a few miles away, to the place of her rest.
She didn't care for the dark clouds over the sky, nor for the darkness brought by night. She didn't care even when she was asked if she needed an umbrella once she got off, the rain already drenching her blonde locks, mixing in with her salty tears.
"Is it too late… to become strong? I too… hate to be called weak…" She muttered, taking out her magic whip once she saw the enemies she had to defeat, a den of monsters with appearances of giant wolves.
"God dammit, god dammit!" She yelled again and again as she attacked and was attacked, only using her whip and tactics to survive. Her pride didn't allow her to use any of her keys, of holder magic, despite the cries of the golden keys she kept hearing as they shone brightly, illuminating the figure of the little girl battling against the night monsters that sought to feast upon her. She just closed off their way to this world, desiring no interference.
"Never… To be called weak again! Ahhhh!" She cried, playing around with the wolves, dancing together with them on the battlefield of life and death.
She was wounded again and again by their claws and fangs, but her body was already numb, no longer feeling pain due to adrenaline. Blood dripped on her cheek, arms, chest and legs, but she couldn't even realise that as she kept on running between monsters, killing one by one, retreating further into the forest, escaping and cheating death countless times.
And then, she noticed that no more enemies surrounded her, only corpses and puddles of red being in revealed in the light of the constantly shining keys. She thought that it was over, that she survived, and couldn't help but fall down on her knees, not minding the pouring rain over her head, cooling her down, or the mud she felt with her fingers.
Yet, it wasn't over…
She felt a shiver run her back, her instinct telling her to run away immediately. A growl was heard and following it, sounds of trees falling to the ground.
Lucy looked up and saw two orbs of bright red, causing her to gulp. She slowly got up, yelping as she started to feel the pain of her wounds at least, her back hitting the bark of a tree she used to sustain herself. Her whip flowed once again as a determined look replaced the empty one.
The final boss, the Alpha of the Shadow Wolves she annihilated just now… It was time to dance with the death again as she meet the huge form of this creature which roared throughout the darkness of the forest.
It must have been hours since then… Rain was already starting to cease, only rare drops still hitting the earth.
One of these drops somehow fell over the pale cheek of a blonde being that was covered with the mud of the battlefield. It made her open her eyes wide again, making her conscious of the fact that she was lying on the bare ground, having been unconscious for God knows how long now.
She groaned in pain, her whole body hurting all over as she twisted around, her hands hitting a puddle of blood. She was covered in its scent already, but her mind was very much fuzzy.
"What…?" She muttered, expecting an answer as she breathed heavily. She followed the blood with her gaze, her tired eyes widening once again as she noticed the huge creature of black fur that was lying next to her, dead.
She recalled everything in an instant, her body shaking once more.
"I…I s-survived…" She kept on repeating, unable to believe this herself. She survived the battle against this monster, won against death, without using a single key… She won, with her own power…
Unable to contain herself, she let out a yell echo through the forest and reach the skies. It was her cry of victory, the proof that she was alive, against the odds.
But even if she did win, she was badly hurt and bleeding from more than one wounds. It was a surprise she even woke up, but even she wondered just how much longer will she be awake.
So she got up, finding a new resolve. She survived this and completed the mission she was given by fate when she randomly picked it. Now, she wanted to return home, where she had her friends waiting.
'Even if the whole world goes against me… There must be… at least someone… who will wait for me to return…' She thought and let out a cry as she dragged her numb feet to carry her through the forest that was dimly illuminated by the moon coming out from the clouds.
She continued to walk, almost lifeless and with her consciousness hanging on a thread, but she walked. She wanted to go home, she longed to return to her friends, now that she knew…
"I'm stronger… So… I can return, right…?" She muttered, feeling herself on the verge of crying again.
But then, no longer seeing anything properly ahead of her, she stopped. At the same time, her feet gave in and she collapsed on the ground, breathing heavy.
"Dammit… Dammit all… I got stronger… so why… Why am I not allowed to return home!?" She yelled, frustrated over her own body.
Her body, drenched in the blood of her prey, was breaking apart, but the scent all over her was the proof. This person was strong.
Her mind was slowly losing consciousness from the loss of blood she incurred, but the constant thought of going back to her friends, back home, kept her going. This resolve and determination was, as well, proof. This person was strong.
She cursed again and again as she struggled to get up, the fire in her soul burning stronger than ever, giving her power once again. In response, her keys answered and shone brightly once again, feeling the connection with their beloved master. These bonds, as well, were proof. This person is strong, without doubt.
Then why couldn't she just return home now, when she proved that?
The answer is simple: She could get even stronger!
"Human child, you reek of the blood of the shadow beasts… But you are surrounded by the power of the stars… Why is a contradiction like you here, lost in the forests?"
"Who was that!?" Lucy yelled, startled by the sudden voice that echoed in her head.
"Oho? You can hear me? How intriguing… But it is a pity that your light is disappearing slowly, just as we speak. I believe you have done something very reckless to get it to this point."
"I don't care about that now. I… I still have to go home! I'll do something about it when I'm there! I can move… I know I can…" Lucy cried out, digging her nails in her feet, but it was useless. She barely felt even that.
"You show determination in your eyes. Child, why had you come here?" The voice too seemed to be intrigued.
"To get stronger! But who are you exactly!?"
"You wish to know who I am? Very well. Then, open your eyes, in the real sense. Use your stellar magic to find me, and you shall know who are you talking with, kufufu~"
Biting her lip, Lucy felt herself mocked. She widened her eyes, focusing her magic to them. A huge shape appeared in the darkness before her, making her confused. It was at that time that the moon once again came out the clouds, illuminating this meadow too.
Lucy's heart stopped in shock.
"Is it such a wonder, human child, to see my form? Well, I believe so, since there aren't dragons anymore in this world for you to behold…'
True, in front of her, a huge white dragon, clad in scales and feathers, with four wings and golden horns, alike a crown. But the most amazing thing about it were the beautiful gem eyes, bearing all the colours of the rainbow.
"This is… impossible…" Lucy muttered, trying to calm her racing heart.
"But it is quite possible, kufufu! My name is Raiyana Apollonia Kalani and I, child, am the Will of the Heaven, the Celestial Dragon and Empress over the Dragon Realm. Yet for me, you are even more of a wonder. It's been so long since someone of the human world was able to see me… Hmm, say, child, what is your name?" The dragon asked, looking at the blonde before her with curious eyes. And for some reason, the mage didn't feel fear anymore when she looked into the dragon's eyes.
"It's Lucy… Lucy Heartfilia…" She muttered.
"Lucy… I see… This is a good name." The dragon mused. "You said you came here to get stronger. But are you strong now?"
"I am!" Lucy immediately said.
"Are you really?"
"I-I am! I am strong! I even defeated that pack of wolves all on my own!" Lucy boasted of her achievement.
"Hmm, I suppose that is indeed strong, for a knight. But child, you are surrounded by magic. Are you not a mage? Why do you boast of such a deed then?"
That was the moment when Lucy's eyes widened again, her world stopping. That was… not enough?
"You say you are strong, but I wonder if that's true. Certainly, the potential inside you is impressive for this era, but… your heart is wavering continuously, making it hard for you to be on par with other mages, am I right?" The dragon seemed to be spot on, for Lucy started crying again.
"I.. I…" she continuously muttered, sobbing quietly.
"Now, now, do not cry, Lucy Heartfilia. This is a problem easy to solve. You want to be stronger but are not. You must have a reason for that, yes? But humans were made to act in a group and judging by your mark, you belong to an organization, yes? I ask you then, why are you getting stronger here, on your own?"
"I… was called weak… by my friends… So I wanted to become strong… and return home…" Lucy quietly said, keeping on crying.
"To be called weak by these you hold dear… Are they really your friends, then? Why should you return there? Is that place really your home?" The dragon asked, seeming to be able to peek clearly in her heart.
"I… Have no home?"
"What if you could have a home, a family?"
"Family… How?" Lucy was slowly losing herself, these words triggering her feelings inside her heart.
"Do you wish to get stronger? Not for others, but for yourself?" The dragon asked, but there was hesitation in the air.
"I… do…" The mage finally answered, looking up to the dragon, marvelling at her eyes.
"Do you wish to become stronger than anyone? At any costs?" Raiyana asked, her voice having hidden meanings inside it, which Lucy couldn't notice.
"I do…" She repeated, feeling herself weak, even now, when she thought she was strong.
"Then… Become mine, human child. Give yourself to me, and you shall become strong," the dragoness said and seemed to smirk, her eyes having captured the prey it wanted.
Lucy slowly raised her hand towards her, crying bitterly, unable to control herself.
She lost everything… To be strong or to be weak… She had to choose now. No place to call home, but people to return to? That was so weird and ironic… But she wished to get stronger, from deep inside her heart.
Her keys shone even brightly than before, both as a confirmation to this resolve and a warning to their master of what she was about to do.
"I don't care… even if I become your prey… Give me strength!" She yelled, causing the dragon to laugh as it got up and roared to the moon, calling forth its power.
"Then, you shall be named Lucilla Kalani from this day onwards. And this I swear to you… You will be strong! Stronger than any human! Stronger than any dragon! Stronger than me!"
'Ah… I see… It was then that I… lost my humanity…'
The wind was rushing against her ears, her hair swaying in all directions. She could hear the clapping of the wings and atmospheric pressure stabilizing, allowing her once again to breathe normally. She could feel it with all her being-the relief after breaking through a high pressure point, the gate between worlds.
Raiyana roared loudly and time seemed to stop for Lucy, who was holding tightly on the golden crown made of horns that the Empress had. As the dragon stood still in the air, the young human mage opened her chocolate eyes and witnessed this world that would become her home for the first time—a wild wonderland where dragons danced freely in the highest sky…
Gleaming rivers shining in the light of the full moon, tall mountains that filled the horizon, virgin ancient forests, lakes bigger than the human capital of Chrocus… And there, in the middle of these wonders, reigning over the tallest mountain in sight, Lucy saw as the sun woke up from its nightly slumber a great city of stone, reaching the peak of the world.
She was breathless, her eyes looking at everything in awe.
"Welcome, child, to the country over which I rule, Kealani, and to the capital of this country, Pendragon. Welcome to your new home…" And saying that, Raiyana moved again on the sky where the sun and the moon were meeting.
"I'm… home…" Lucy whispered to herself, smiling bitterly.
'Goodbye, Earthland… Goodbye, Magnolia… Thank you for having me all these years…'
