BEGIN AGAIN by writeagain
QUINN POV
I shivered slightly in the cool February morning. It was just past seven in the morning and everyone was still asleep. Thank god the Lima Bean was open. I'm surprised how much I miss Lima. I always saw myself leaving and never turning back, but I can't help but turn back. I've spent my entire life here, my friends are here, and the glee club. They're my family. I sigh and take out my phone as I sit down with my coffee. Santana has been texting me nonstop and honestly I can't remember what even happened last night. We were at the wedding, we had a few drinks and then I think I slept with her. I blush. I can't believe I did that. It wasn't…bad really, it was just awkward. I'm probably never going to do it again.
After things with David, or rather Professor Hawkins ended I didn't want to date another man. I thought by dating him I would show the world how mature and grown up I was when really spending time with him just made me tired, and look like a whore. To hell with all men. But then I think, if there were just more men like Mr. Shuster. Romantic, kind, talented. Funny. I really thought there would be more of those type out there when really I find myself attracted to the types of guys I grew up with. For some reason. Even though they may be Lima losers they're humble and kind enough.
"Hey Fabray," I turn around. Noah Puckerman. Out of all the people to see on a Friday morning. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" I chuckle. I gesture to the seat across from me and he takes it. He really has changed a lot. Not in looks really, except that he shaved off that ridiculous mowhawk. But I think he just looks older. I'm sure he'd never admit this but LA must have been hard on him. Or why else would he be here. "Puckerman." I say before taking a sip of my drink. "What are you doing back in Lima?" "Oh decided to switch careers for a change. Besides it's winter, not many chicks need their pool cleaned." I nod. "Switching to what career?" "Movie writing. I've got a script started." "Oh really. Is it any good?" I smile. Sometimes his enthusiasm is just so adorable. Oh shut up. "Yeah. I had that Kitty chick read it for me." "Kitty? Like the sophomore?" "Yeah." "Why did you have her read it?" "We've been hanging out ever since the Sadie Hawkins dance." "You mean like dating?" "More like sex." I felt anger towards Kitty. She can't date Puck. She just can't. He's like 19 and she's 16. "You shouldn't date her, Puck." I advise. "Why not?" "Because she's so young." "She seduced me. Not the other way around." "You shouldn't have given in. Now-" "Wow wow wow, Q" He says my old nickname and I like it coming from him. Yes. I do. "Why do you care?" He asked hands raised in surrender. "Because-Because I know exactally how you play girls. You're just going to hurt her." He looks hurt. "You don't think I've changed. I was a douche in high school, I admit it. I wouldn't hurt Kitty. I actually kinda like her." "Like her?" I was confused. Angry. And I don't even know why. "Why Puck? Why?" He sighs. You could see his humor and defense falling. And when he looks at me I can see myself in his eyes. And I look different, too.
"Because she makes me feel good about myself. She doesn't rub it in my face that LA was a complete failure. She thinks my ideas are good and she depends on me. Face it Q, You, Berry, Lady Hummel. You guys are all moving forward while I'm just stuck back here." "Don't say that." I interrupt him. "You are special, Puck. I'm sure there's a place for you, too. And it's not in Lima." "I don't know. I'm happy here. And I don't care that Kitty's a sophomore. She's the only one that makes me feel like a badass." And I feel bad for him. No, I feel terrible. Somehow we always forgot him. He barely graduated, and even though he screamed for attention he didn't even get a look back. I take his hand. He looks up at me confused, but I can see hope, too. "I get it. You want to be successful, and get out of Lima. We all do. And I think it's time for us to give you a little help."
He pulls his hand away and all his vulnerability is gone. Replaced by anger and stubbornness. "No. I don't need your help. Like I said, I'm fine where I am. I'm not a Lima loser. I could leave anytime I want to. What if I like Lima? What if I don't mind staying here for a while?" "Look Puck, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to help." "I'm not a fucking loser. I don't need a fucking pity party from you." "Ok fine!" My temper rising. "You don't want my help? Then don't take it. I care about you Puck and I hate to think that you're just going to waste your life away fucking Kitty and writing stupid plays!" "Shut the fuck up Quinn!" "You know what, Puck" I yell over him, "You're not a badass to me. No what I see is a fucked up little boy-" And I'm cut off by his lips. There on mine so fast that I feel my coffee drop out of my hands. Desperate. Tears falling down both of our cheeks. I pull away.
"Why are dating Kitty?" I ask him quietly. His face millimeters away from mine. "Because she reminds me of you." And there it was. The truth. You can see it shinning thorugh his eyes into mine. And I know in my gut that he needs my help. It doesn't matter if he denies it. "Why me?" My voice is shaky. "Because I was always so much better when I was with you. I tried so hard for you." And more tears fall because I ignored that, too. When I was pregnant he was there for me. He was trying to do as best as he could to make me happy. He bought me the junk food I was craving and stayed up till midnight feeling Beth kick. And then I realize that he has nothing anymore. No Glee club, no friends. No family. "Why don't you come back to the East Coast with me." I blurt out. "You could train to be a police officer or a fire fighter or you could just play music." I offer. "You're strong, and I'm sure-" And then another kiss interrups me. This one is short, sweet, and chaste. "You really mean it? Like you won't mind me crashing with you?" "At least till you find your feet."
I look down at my clothes. I spilled coffee all over them. "You owe me a new outfit though, Puckerman." He laughed "Whatever you want, Q." And that was the day that I gave Noah Puckerman some hope and it was also the day I realized that I was still in love with him. I mean he could be an idiot sometimes, but that's why I love him so much. He could be insensitive, but never towards me. He could be a slacker, but never towards me.
You throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny
Cause he never did
And I've been spending the last eight months
Thinking all love ever does is
Break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a café
I watched it
Begin again
