Disappearance

By: MrPrinceLoveCook / proudOtaku


Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood is a beautiful masterpiece made by Hiromu Arakawa. Obviously, the characters are not mine, only the idea of this story.

This is my first ever FMA fiction, I just really like the ship ROYAI so I opted myself to create a fiction concerning about them. I know that it is too late for me to create this fiction when FMA is already completed, but come on I really love Royai so let me be, let me share this fiction of mine.

Disappearance of Trust


CHAPTER ONE. TEARS AND TRUST


"Lieutenant?" Roy called, pushing the door to creak open as he stepped himself inside the dim room, into the storage room.

Yes, it was Roy Mustang, the Fire Alchemist, the hero of Ishval and the new appointed General of Amestris. Basically, it had been a year since he became the General and since he regained his sight by using the power of Philosopher Stone. It was also a year since he became the new Commanding Officer of the East City Headquarters.

Yes, it was one year ago since the late Fuhrer President King Bradley along with all the homunculus, the Ouroboros, finally defeated. It was all thanked to the Elric brothers, particularly to Edward Elric, and the united power of the Amestris Military.

It was a year since the Ishvalans finally reclaimed their beloved place the Ishval.

It was a year since Lieutenant General Grumman overthrown Bradley and became the new Fuhrer of Amestrian State Military.

Yes, Amestris was still in a unitary state, a parliamentary republic type of government, which the head of state was in the Commander-In-Chief of the military, who concentrated the ranks of head of state and head of government.

"I want to talk to you General, that's why I called you." Riza said, standing in front of the windows, facing her back to General Roy Mustang.

Roy scratched the back of his nape using his hand, "But I am really wondering why here? Why of all place here in this dusty dim room when we can talk inside my office." He was confusingly looking everywhere around the room with less interest.

"I want to talk to you in private, General." Riza replied. She was still looking outside the windows, not really bothering to look at him.

"Drop the formality Riza because we are alone." Roy said, taking his steps toward his lieutenant to drown her with his warm embrace, wrapping his arms around her waist so tightly. "You smell so good."

"Sir?"

"I said drop the formality when we are alone." Roy hushed, using his arms to pull her closer to him, deepening the tight embrace. He then started to plant kisses on her soft nape down to her neck.

"Roy…"

"Yes, yes… please call me by my name." Roy said, kept kissing her neck while his hands began moving to caress her body, her shoulders down to her bosoms, to her waist, abdomen and down to her thighs.

"Roy, stop it." Riza said, touching Roy's dirty hands to stop him.

"I want to feel you…" Roy said, kept on kissing and groping her. "Let me see your face."

"Is that an order coming from my superior?" Riza said, moving her head to look at him.

Roy chuckled nonchalantly, "Indeed, it is an order coming from your superior and coming from your boyfriend."

"Roy, listen I want to…" Riza said. Actually, she was about to say her words when she suddenly stopped in midair when Roy immediately caught her lips, kissing her full on her mouth.

Roy just unconsciously stole kiss on her but he incurred life imprisonment because he did not actually know if he would ever stop when he was never planning to stop. The truth was, he really wanted to kiss her, waiting for the right opportunity to be alone together just to kiss her until she could no longer breathe.

He kissed her. He kissed her and kissed her. He kissed her like he was dying of thirst.

Damn, he really tried not to bite her lips when she tasted so delicious and loving the way her lips felt because it so smooth, so soft like kissing the heaven.

Riza reciprocated his kiss, never felt hesitate to kiss him back, letting herself drown with every dainty kiss. Yes, she kissed him and she knew that she would regret it. But at this moment, she could not bring herself to care. She did not care at all. She was kissing him as she had never kissed him before and it was blissful oblivion, better than anything in this world. Somehow, against all reason, they were kissing so passionately. She closed her eyes, letting him dominated her as usual and the world around her faded, right now only her and his body mattered in this world.

Roy took her into his arms, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her so damn closer, using all his strength to be gentle and let his lips touched hers so lightly he could hardly felt it. He then tangled his hand in her hair, and the other cups her jaw. Riza felt his lips on hers but shockingly his lips felt so sweet, swollen and soft, and more like home every time.

His mouth seized hers, consuming her, devouring her and swallowing her. She could no longer control her body because she moved her body on his will, completely controlling her. Harder. Faster. He took her. He took everything in her, all of her, because she let him do it.

Mouth against mouth. Lips against lips. Tongue against tongue. Teeth against teeth. Saliva against saliva. Kissing so passionately without planning to break away from each other embrace. Smooching and smooching. Tongue over tongue. Kissing and kissing.

His passionate kiss was the kiss of a man who had waited years for the moment and feared that it would never come again, though they used to kiss every passing time when no one was around.

It was the kind of kiss that inspired stars to climb into the sky and light up the world. It was kind of kiss that it would stay inside their heads for the lifetime. It was the kind of kiss that made them forgot everything, particularly his rank and her rank. It was the kind of kiss that completed and satisfied each desire, lust, greed and thirst. It was the kind of kiss that made them aware of each other body, Roy for his erection and Riza for her wet.

It was the best kiss in the history of kisses. It was as sweet as sugar, was warm as the sun, and was enjoyable as sex. The whole world opened up and they fell inside. They did not know where they were, but they did not care. He did not care and she did not care because the only person who mattered was him for her and her for him.

They kissed like drowning each other breathe. It just like suddenly they had discovered something that had never been so sweet before that moment. They kissed until they forgot how terrified they felt of everything wrong with their lives.

Due to the anticipation and temptation, Roy moved his hands to feel her bosoms but she suddenly stopped him by pushing him forcedly away from her.

"Wha… what?" Roy stuttered. He was so damn shocked at the same time disappointed on her for pushing him away though the excitement, desire and lust kept building within him. In addition, his erection started shaping on his pants, bulging.

"Roy, I am pregnant!" Riza said, saying it not to completely stop him from touching her, groping her buttocks but she said it to tell him her big secret, the truth and the reason for calling him.

WHAT!

W

H

A

T

!

The look on her beautiful face showed her earnest and heartfelt sincerity, that she really meant it and she was not joking at all.

"Are you sure?" Roy asked immediately. His eyes enlarging so widely, his chest heaved rapidly and his muscles all over his body suddenly stopped from moving, astounding and astonishing.

It was so obvious that he was not happy at all. It could clearly see in his face and the way he talked.

I am pregnant

I am pregnant

I am pregnant

Those three words kept echoing continuously and repeatedly deep inside his head like a very painful buzz sound. It was like his own world suddenly stopped from moving when the word pregnant slipped on her mouth.

GULPING

SHAKING

TREMBLING

He could not really stop from gulping, completely swallowing everything inside his throat, shaking his vision and his body kept trembling.

"Yes." She was staring at him, her brown eyes locked on him, waiting for him to say his words.

"But how?" Roy asked. He looked at her with all the grievance and sorrow written all over his face.

"It is not how but when."

"When did you find out that you are pregnant?"

"I recently found out when I went to the nearest hospital, and the doctor confirmed that I am one month pregnant."

"Really?"

Riza nodded.

"How can he be sure?"

"Roy, he is a doctor."

"The doctor might be wrong… you know doctors are just human, who are prone to make a mistake because they are not perfect at all." Roy said. He was looking desperately for a reason not to believe in the idea of his lieutenant was pregnant.

"Roy, I even used pregnancy test."

"Pregnancy test is way worst because it is just a tool for prediction."

"It is been a month since my menstrual period." Riza said. She kept trying to calm down though it was so hard to do it.

"You are just too tired because lately we have so many works need to be done, that's why it really explains why you didn't have your menstruation."

"I know my body, Roy!"

"Then Riza, I am not ready… not ready…"

"Is that so?"

"I don't want to lie when I say… I don't want to be a father… I really hate the idea of being a father when I have so many ambitions in life, so many things need to do and so many things need to settle. The reason why I became a dog of military is to get closer to my dream, my dream of becoming the Fuhrer of this country. I am not yet a Fuhrer and it is only one step closer to became one. It is just only a one small step to get to that position. I don't want to stay as a foundation of this country to protect people. I want to rise above people and protect those below me with my acquired power and authority. If I become a Fuhrer I will make sure to protect those people below me, and so on until the entire nation ending up benefiting from my protection. Riza you know me, once I want something I will definitely work for it, even to sacrifice everything."

"So…"

"Fuhrer is the image of this country, the inspiration of all the Amestrian, and if suddenly they found out that you are pregnant though we are not marriage, and worst part is that no one knows that we are in a relationship, they only know is that you are my subordinate and I am your superior, it will affect my image, no… it will not just affect but it will definitely destroy my image. It will affect my dream of becoming a Fuhrer." Roy said, curving his hands into tight fists. "The reason I hide our relationship is to protect my image. As much as possible, I want my image as the hero of this country stays in the eyes of all Amestrian, and I will do anything to clean that image even to kill my own flesh."

WHAT?

"Don't tell me you are planning to abort this kid?" Riza asked. She was so shocked, her eyes could not leave him, her mouth started to tremble, and her whole body shook terribly. "Roy, you are not thinking at all!"

"Listen Riza, I am just doing it to protect everyone in this country."

"Protecting from whom? Ouroboros is no longer exists, along with the homunculus."

"Protecting them from those people who take them for granted."

"And what about this kid? It has also a right to live, to see this world, to eat, to play with the other kids, to love and being loved. It has a right to be protected too."

Roy just stopped, kept gripping his tight fists while detaching his eyes from her. 'I know… I want to protect it ... I badly want to protect it from me… from my stupidity.'

Damn, if only she knew how much he hated that idea of killing his own child. How much he felt so disgusted for thinking of doing it to an innocent child. How much he started to curse the hell out of him because he made this mistake but he was the one who tried to ignore it, trying to get away from it. How much he despised himself for making the woman he loved felt so sad. How much he loathed the look on her beautiful face.

"Please tell me you will not do it. You will not try to do anything that will harm this kid." Riza grieved, touching her belly in a way of showing him she would definitely fight for it.

"Yes, I will do it just to get the thing I want, and you know how much I want to become a Fuhrer. How much I work and fight for it, so you must follow my decision."

"Even to kill an innocent child?"

"It is not yet a child but it is just a blood, not yet form… so before it becomes too complicated and too late we must eliminate it."

"What's wrong with you!"

"Riza, it is only a blood compare to the Amestrian."

"You don't feel like hesitating, do you? Though this is your own child, your own blood?" Riza anguished. She just stood there, dominated by a profound sadness, depression engraved on her face. The sorrow grew more profound each time she spent in this dim room.

Roy cursed beneath him, cursing himself because he made her felt so sad. Damn, he really hated seeing her in her sadness because it was so freaking hurt. It really hurt. It hurt the hell out of him. It hurt him to death.

'Indeed, it is my child… my own child… it feels so horrible… so damn hurt to think that I am planning to kill my own child. Riza, if only you know what I feel, how it hurts me… because it pains me to death.' Roy thought, sobbing deep within him.

"This is your child, Roy!"

"I know!" Roy snapped. He did not actually mean to raise his voice at her. "I know it… I damn know it… but I want to be a Fuhrer… not a father."

"Then we will wait for you, me and this child, until you become a Fuhrer…"

"No Riza!"

"But Roy! I am begging you…" Riza pleaded, her tears started to fall from her beautiful eyes, begging and begging for him just for the sake of the child she was bearing.

Forsooth, she was with Roy in this moment but she felt like she was completely alone, scared and devastated. Her heart felt butchered, her love slowly taken away bit by bit. There was no longer could see that inquisitiveness, that desire, that fire in her eyes. All that remained was the deceiving hollow soul that reflected on her tears.

'Shit! I made her cry! I am really stupid!' Roy thought, cursing and cursing himself on his immorality and fiendishness. He really tried to force himself not to jump on her and hug her so tight, and he had controlled all his might not to leap so high just to kiss away her tears.

Words could not even begin to describe the agonizing pain he felt right at this moment. He could only do was to take his eyes off her and listened to her silent sobbed. "Please allow me to make a decision for this country sake, for that kid sake, and for our own sake."

"Your own stupid sake!"

Yes, she was right, for his stupid sake. But he must do it anyway.

"Why are you making it so damn hard Riza?" Roy blustered. He started to boil, boiling so hard not because she was acting this way but because he was acting this way, acting like a heartless murderer for trying to kill an innocent child and for making her cry, crying so grievously. 'Damn, you even ask the obvious.'

"Because it is involving an innocent child, my child!"

'Shit… damn shit!' Roy thought, cursing and cursing underneath his voice. "Yes, it is for my own sake, and you will support me because you opt to keep on following me even to the deepest pit of hell, right? So please, let me handle this situation."

"You told me, you always love me and I believe you… but why?" Riza wept, tears kept falling down on her cheeks.

Roy gripped hold of his hands to prevent himself from touching her. Oh god, he really hated seeing her tears because it was so hard for him. It hurt so bad, how he wished to hold her tight, never let her go but here he was standing next to her, too damn afraid to touch her. "I love you, and you know it."

"If you really love me… you will choose us… me and your child."

"Are you telling me to choose between you and being a Fuhrer?"

"Roy, you know how much I hate it… but you give me no choice."

"I love you but I still want to be the Fuhrer."

"You choose your position over us?"

"Yes, I am sorry."

Riza let her tears fell down continuously from her eyes, her lips kept quivering when she was crying. Her eyes became glacier under the sheen of water, constant, yet allowing the tears to flow without pause. In that moment, hearing him saying his sorry she finally understood the depth of pain that had been sitting below her skin.

Yes, she did expect him to choose his position over them, over her but it still hurt. Hurt was hurt, she could not measure these things. Her heart and her stomach and her whole insides felt empty and hollow and aching. She could clearly felt the measure of hell because it was the measure of love she felt for him. She had loved him for such a long time, she thought she knew him but she did not know him at all.

She trusted him, trusting him her father's dream because she thought she could trust him, that he was different because he was fighting for humanity, fighting for the right of those oppress. But she was shocked to find out that she was completely wrong because she did not know him at all because he could not even fight for the right of child, the right of a little child inside her body, his own child.

She knew that Roy already made up his mind, that no matter how much she tried to stop him and even begged, he would not listen so she needed to make her own decision too.

Riza lifted her hand wiping away her tears, then said, "If that's what you want I have no right to decline you. I will follow you no matter what, still following you to hell if you ask me to. I entrusted you my father dream, and this country's future. It is also because of you I lived again, so please keep on relying to me as your subordinate and your assistant, General Roy Mustang." She assured, placing her hand on her forehead, saluting him so professionally and sincerely. She was now smiling but sorrow was the new smile in her eyes, tears replaced the sunshine, and life was dark, for what seemed to be forever.

Roy breathed in too much relief because she finally agreed. He knew it was so disgusting to feel that way by feeling so damn relieve but if he totally welcomed the pain. It would completely killed him.

"Of course, after all you are my irreplaceable subordinate. The one I entrusted with my life as my personal assistant and bodyguard. Remember, I even gave you the express authority to shoot me in the back if I ever step off the righteous path." Roy smiled, like it was the best thing to do, like there was nothing really wrong but behind his smile there was a bitter sadness that no one could ever see and feel.

Sometimes he was somebody, somebody with an excessive pain and sadness because he was creating a decision that hurt her, but sometimes he was nobody, who did not seem to feel anything just to get the rank he was dreaming to have, and who existed just only for that ambition.

Riza pitched her gun immediately from her belt, pointing the gun right directly to Roy. "Should I shoot you because you step off the righteous path?" She did say it without any hesitation or ridiculousness. She was just simply serious, full of determination and resolution.

Roy gulped hardly. He knew that she really meant it, that she would definitely shoot him if he let her. 'She is being too serious… what should I do?' His sweat began falling for his forehead.

Riza suddenly cracked into laughter, laughing nonchalantly, while withdrawing her gun away from him. "Why too serious, Sir? Don't worry I am not yet planning to kill you, not now but until you become the Fuhrer." She tried to fake everything, her smile, her courage and her laughter when behind it all lain the hurt, the pain and the sorrow. Behind her mask lain her real situation that she was falling apart.

"You nearly killed the hell out of me, Riza." Roy sighed. He knew that she was serious for pointing the gun at him, serious enough to pull the trigger and kill him because he did deserve it. 'I deserve to be killed by her because I am going back as a murderer.' He knew that she was faking everything because no matter how much she tried to hide her tears, it was still obvious on her beautiful face, on her eyes.

Yes, she could perfectly hide her loneliness and sadness to everyone but not to him because he knew her. He knew everything about her more than anyone in this world but he just pretended that he did not know anything, pretending not to see the truth behind her smile and laughter.

It hurt to see her in that fake laughter, in that fake courage, and in that fake smile. It hurt so bad to see her fake side. He hated it.

"Your order sir?" Riza said. She was standing so gracefully like a sincere solder, waiting to the order of her superior. There was no tears remained on her eyes. The tears she cried already dried on her skin, just like the trust she had for him because it slowly faded.

"Lieutenant, I give you one month duration to perform your mission, and your mission starting today is to do anything just to get rid of that child. Please come back safe, don't do anything that will harm you."

"Yes Sir!" Riza saluted, springing immediately to face her back at him and saying, "I should get going now, General Mustang."

"Yes, please." Roy said, striking his forehead and heart like a man demented, with cry of anguish, curses and lamentations. Damn, he could not believe that he actually ordered her to kill their unborn child. He could not believe how heartless he was for ordering her when she was completely against it, against her heart and conscience.

Riza walked away from him, moving to leave him alone in that dim and lonely room but had stopped suddenly when she was about to open the door. "I forgot to ask you, if it is an order from my superior?"

Roy walked slowly to stand in front of the windows, looking outside. That certain place was where Riza originally stood. "Both, it is an order from your superior General Mustang and from your boyfriend Roy."

"Thank you for your sincere answer, Sir." Riza said, extending her hand to hold the doorknob to pull the door open, heading outside to leave him completely alone.

"I am sorry!" Roy whispered, whispering to the air wishing that it would reach her. The pain he felt was so overwhelming, wishing and praying to no particular god that she did not feel it.

He was deliriously angry because he turned into a man he would never wish to become. He was devastatingly destroyed from the inside because of the pain he felt, pain of making the woman he loved suffered, and pain of losing a child.


CONTINUED.


Disappearance of Love