This was all my fault. It always will be.

I was the one who built the damn portal in the first place. I should've listened to Fiddleford when I had the chance. Now I'm nowhere-what is this place?

It's dark and cold. I can't see. I can't move. I can't hear. I'm terrified. I'm cold. I shouldn't have shown Stanley that portal. I should never had left New Jersey. I should have apologized to him. There's no way Dipper and Mabel survived being so close to Bill...Stanley was so far away at the time, he might be alright. Who am I kidding? My family is as good as dead. I never even knew Shermie well enough to recognize him in Dipper and Mabel. I left for college when he was an infant. Does he even remember me?

It doesn't matter anyway. I'll never see him again. He's in California...am I even alive, at this point?

I feel myself begin to fade. How long has it been? It feels like years. Does the world even exist at this point? Did Bill succeed? Did Dipper find the way to beat him?

Dipper. Mabel.

Stanford. Stanley.

How could I have not realized before? They're the same as us. They even look the same. How was I such an idiot? I was offering Dipper what I didn't get to have-and I was doing the exact same thing my father did. What Stanley did by breaking my machine.

I was splitting up twins that were closer than others could imagine.

Wait...what was this? Light? But why would I be able to see...

"Ford!"

Stanley? Was that him? The light dimmed once more.

"Stanford, please hang on! I'm begging you here!"

What was he saying?

"I'm sorry, okay! Everything I do...Everything I try to do is for this family! I just got you back...I can't lose you again..."

I opened my eyes a crack. I still wasn't fully conscious.

"I'm sorry...you probably hate me now..."

I became away of stones cutting my knees. I was being hugged tightly by Stanley, who seemed to be sitting on the ground.

"I love you, bro..."

I forced my arms to move, wrapping them around my twin. I could hear him gasp in shock.

My voice was quiet and hoarse. Everything hurt.

"...I forgive you."


I randomly felt like writing a Ford fanfic. Feels are not my strong point, but internal monologues are.

R&R!