Title name|Forever is a promise
Summary| After being witness of a terrible breakdown, kakashi decides to emend his past mistakes by offering his support to his ex-student Sakura, The only problem is: She needs more than a friend.
Pairing| Kakashi-Sakura
Rated| M (Mature content) for gore, language and inappropriate scenes in later chapters.
Author Note|
Hello sugar bunnies;
Real quick… This story was once posted by me and now reposted, but it's now a bit changed. It's not finished so it'll develop and update very slowly, I accept any kind of ideas, comments or anything to improve or add to it.
About the rating, I first intended to rate it 'T' but I like smut, so it's possible that we'll see it in a few chapters. That's it. Enjoy.
-XO Ms. Wolf
|Naruto and all characters are property of Masashi Kishimoto|
Forever is a promise
"Love is not written on paper, for paper can be erased. Nor is it etched on stone, for stone can be broken. But it is inscribed on a heart and there it shall remain forever."
Chapter 1
Two years ago…
She knew something was wrong the minute she went inside, the house looked different, she felt no one. Something was in the air; probably some lingering chakra very similar to her mother's but it was fainting right in one place.
Feeling a little bit unsecure, she pulled out a kunai from her pocket and made her way in the house to the disappearing chakra.
After a few seconds she stood outside her parents' room, realizing that not only her mother's chakra lingered there but another as well, she just couldn't figure out who it belonged to, she had felt it before, she knew that she should remember, but she didn't.
She carefully opened the door always ready to attack if something was there, but as she opened the door, she forgot about it, she forgot about being careful, she forgot about being quiet, she simply forgot everything, she was numb, paralyzed and shattered.
The sighting of her mother thrown on her bed, bleeding and barely alive made her fall.
After several seconds that took for the image to sink in, she ran desperately towards her, tears began to stream from her face uncontrollably; the feeling was too much, she collapsed on her bed besides her mother, trying to figure out what was wrong, what had happened to her?
All the bruises and marks on her mother's naked body were too obvious to be misunderstood, she had been raped.
Her mother was barely moving, barely twitching in pain, she was dying, not only they raped her but they managed to bleed her, the cuts on her wrists had done all the work.
She quickly grabbed her almost-unconscious mother and with all the strength she had left, she carried her to the hospital.
On her way there everything seemed like a dream, a very cruel dream or maybe genjutsu. She prayed with all her heart that it was, just a really cruel genjutsu. She prayed that her mother was ok in her house, probably making dinner… smiling. The thought of that sight made her start to cry even harder, she could no longer feel her legs moving as fast as they could, she couldn't feel the warm blood staining her shirt, all she could feel was painful agonizing sorrow.
When she got to the hospital everything happened with a flash, nurses running towards her; her mother being placed onto a stretcher, everyone starting to run and she could only stand there and watch.
She wanted to help but she knew she didn't even have enough chakra to heal a simple scratch; her faith was placed on some other ninja medics who she prayed to kami with all her soul they could save her.
She was a medic, she knew the possibilities of her mother making it out alive, she had lost too much blood, not even she was sure she could save her if she was able to heal her but nevertheless her hopes stayed in that minimal percentage of life.
After several minutes, that almost seemed like years, a nurse finally came out. Deciding not to look at her until she told her the news, her head stayed down, hoping for the best.
"…I'm sorry…" those were the only words she needed to hear to be able to decipher what happened. The nurse kept talking but she couldn't hear no more.
Her mother was dead…
It turned out to be one of those painful red sky days, when the sun seems to want to melt on top of the farthest mountains and cure away its own ache, the air seemed light, dancing around the trees, flaunting the liberty that had been given to him, birds beginning to notice time and my mind starting to wander off into the messy tangles of my life.
I had been sitting in the bench for a while just drifting off into nowhere and I never noticed when she passed by, I never saw when she lit her cigarette or when she shivered as the air became cold, but there she was, it has been already three days that I've seen her there just watching the horizon, in complete solitude in the breaking twilight. She stands there just silent, just gazing into the sunset as if her only hope was drifting away from her. That day she looked heartbroken, almost collapsing inside and her face showed no trace of delight in her life. The trees nearby had probably grown accustomed to her, because they showed no restraints to sway in her presence, almost understanding the way she felt.
I stood there motionless just watching her sigh, expelling most of the smoke she had inhaled from her cigarette meanwhile an occasional tear ran down her face.
I was about to leave, my problems were enough for me to be wandering about someone else's, but I couldn't, I just couldn't walk away, her presence was enthralling, and somehow her pain touched me. She was alone, she needed someone.
I walked up to her side, she didn't turn almost seemed like my presence was unnoticed, but I knew she had felt my eyes on her a while ago, she wiped her tears from her cheek and continued gazing to the sky as if looking for answers or comfort.
"Do you have some light?" I finally asked, as I made a movement to show her my cigarette.
"Oh, sure" she said, and started searching her pockets, until she finally found the lighter and handed it to me.
I turned on my cigar, having in my mind the thought that I was trying to quit smoking but the opportunities just fell into my arms.
She probably never saw me smoke before; in fact I think she never even noticed any habit of mine. She didn't need to, I was never a part of her life; I was never there for her.
We both stayed there doing nothing but watching the horizon in comfortable silence and filling our lungs with smoke as thoughts began to cloud our minds.
I saw her stoke her cheek a few times wiping tears from her face. I have to admit it, after all these years I never paid attention to how grown up the girl was, when did she even start smoking? How old was she 20, 21? And how did she grow to be so pretty? I mean she wasn't gorgeous but she had a beautiful face accompanied by a not-bad toned body, she wasn't tall but she was slender with just the right assets, her strawberry-hair running down her pale skin onto her waist, when did she grow it?. Why was she even alone?
"…Do you need something?" she asked with anannoyed expression and not even turning to look at me.
It wasn't until then when I noticed that I had been staring at her without blinking. She must have gotten a bit irritated.
"Oh no, it's nothing." I said smiling, trying to hide the embarrassment caused for staring at the body of an ex-student.
She just stood there gazing at the horizon, obviously avoiding any type of conversation she could have with me, I don't blame her.
I risked another look to her face and I was lost, tears began to make their way again, her expression turned to despair and I couldn't handle it, it was too much pain, looking at her was like looking at a mother who just lost her son, the depressing expression on her face could simply be compared to the cruel afternoon that leaves to permit the darkness take over this world abandoning all hope of light. Her eyes looked vague, completely hollow and damp with the sadness that refused to leave, these were accompanied by dark shadows that revealed her exhaustion and lack of sleep and her lips had no sight of an upcoming smile.
She had changed… no, life changed her. I knew her before this, I remember the bubbly brat, who was constantly claiming she was in love, the little girl who was more worried about her hair than her stance. I was her teacher before Tsunade, her partner after Naruto's return, but with her jounin graduation the indifference showed up. After our team split we almost never spoke and it had been a year since we actually crossed eyes. She must see me as a stranger now. I didn't know why it happened though, why our constant meeting smile turned into barely noticeable gestures to finally nothing.
I felt the need to talk to her, to tear her apart from the rain, I felt inside me the urge to see her smile, after all it's not like I didn't care about her, I was her ex-sensei, but… I didn't know what to say…
"Nice sunset, isn't it?" I finally said
She looked at me giving a faint fake smile. It didn't matter though, at least she tried.
"Yes… almost painful in a way" She responded
She seemed somewhat distracted, as if something was out in the horizon that she was missing, something valuable; something that could take her pain away.
"You come here often; I've seen you almost three days here"
"Yes, this place is really… comforting" she answered, her voice sounded a bit broken, I imagined it was due to her crying before.
I felt guilty, for everything that she had been through; I was never there to support her, to help her carry the pain.
The rumors about what happened to her were very cruel and always accompanied by a pitiful 'Poor girl'. What hurt the most is that it was true; she had suffered too much on her own. I can't imagine even myself going through it… again.
"…sensei?" I was doing it again I kept staring at her; she probably was getting a pretty bad image of me.
"Sorry, I zoned out. But you're right this place is really comforting, it's one of the few places where I can get my thoughts cleared out." I said looking at the melted light on top of the mountains.
"…I wish…I could do that…" She mumbled practically to herself.
"Do what?"
"…Clear my mind." She answered in a painful whisper.
I knew what she was talking about, her expressions said it all. She was living on her past, clinging onto the aching feeling of emptiness that would never go away.
She froze, her sorrow began to turn into liquid that fled her body through her eyes, into that painful venom that never seems to disappear and comes leaking out endlessly when the rest of your body can't come up with a different emotion.
I didn't know what to say, I had to say something.
"I'm…sorry" I practically whispered
…Silence…
"I-I wish…I wish it never happened…" she sobbed.
I couldn't say anything to her, there was nothing to say, what could I? All I could do was hold her during her break down, and so I did, I stood in front of her and held her in a tight embrace.
"…I'm so sorry…"
She reminded me so much of myself when I was a child, when I had lost my own parents. I remembered the pain, she shouldn't have gone through this; no one should, not like that. Not alone.
Even though we had shared the similar type of pain, it wasn't exactly the same. I had already gone over it but she hadn't, in fact, she was remembering it again, everything that happened to her was back in her head as if it were happening again…
"…I'm sorry" I whispered as I held her tighter, her sobs had gotten louder and I knew it was still too real for her.
"...don't say it… please, don't say you're… sorry" She begged.
I wasn't sure why she asked me that, but I did notice that blurting out those words hurt her more than I thought.
I silenced and waited for her to calm down.
After a few minutes her body stopped trembling, the tears in her face began to dry and her breath evened out.
"Are you ok?" I asked; suddenly worried as I felt her knees beginning to weaken and her body loosing grip.
"…yes…" She whispered into my chest.
I helped her get to the nearest bench so she could sit, her knees were trembling and her face showed extreme exhaustion.
We sat there for several minutes in silence, the night had already crept up on us and there was no one else at the park anymore.
"…Thank you…" She whispered.
A smile crept up my face.
"There's nothing to thank" I said, wishing that those damp emerald eyes would meet my gaze
"It's getting late, let me walk you home" I offered as soon as I saw her yawn.
We made it back to her house in absolute silence; I just didn't feel I could say anything. Even though I could've been able to say something I wouldn't have said it, she just looked so exhausted, like she couldn't even walk and I understood, sorrow feeds out of life.
"Well, here we are"
"Yes… Thank you" She said in a very faint voice.
"There is absolutely nothing to thank"
"Yes, there is. Thank you for talking, for holding me, for smiling, for the walk… Thank you"
There it was, that smile in her eyes, I hadn't seen it the whole afternoon, but there it was again, the same gleam she had when she was younger, before hell came crumbling down on her.
"Well, I guess you're welcome, although I didn't mind, it was a nice afternoon to be with someone I appreciate, by the way if you ever need anything, no matter how silly, you know where I am, ok?"
"Thank you… sensei" she whispered
That was it, in a few moments I was about to leave and not see her again, I was going back to missions and she was going back to depression. I couldn't stand it, I knew I had to help, I knew I could if I was in her life again.
"Do you like tea?"I asked, not even sure of what I was planning.
"Well yes, I guess." She looked confused and extremely adorable.
"Alright then I'll see you tomorrow. How does five o' clock at the 'Haru tea house' sound?" I asked not even waiting for a response.
"Umm…"
"Great, see you tomorrow, by the way, please bring a smile" I couldn't risk being rejected.
As I walked towards my house I knew I hadn't done the most correct thing but I had to do something, I couldn't just let this girl… no, woman, crumble down the rest of her life. She had to start living again, she had to smile and I was going to try to do my best to help her even if she didn't want to.
