There's something special about the fall. Walking around and seeing the back to school section front and center in the stores, kids out of their summer wardrobes of shorts and tees and walking around in jerseys after practice. I tilt my head into the breeze, its still hot out but the humidity is gone and the breeze smells like it is sweeping my favorite season in. I'm sitting on the bleachers at UVA at the lacrosse pitch, staring out onto the field at my most perfect Handsome Boy boyfriend.

I drove here early and so I could his practice to surprise him. Margot would be disappointed in this since "everyone knows that after move in day you HAVE to stay for two weeks!" Plus I already have a quiz on Monday. But I only took two wrong turns on the way here, turning the music way down every time the "next step" on my GPS blared through the aux. I'm proud of myself for being brave enough for this adventure. I parked with a huge sigh of relief and made my way to the pitch for phase 2.

Peter had been so intimidated about being on a new team and being good enough. I think it was a shock to go from being The Team to a player on a team made completely of D1 players. I was afraid I'd made a mistake, adding pressure to practice. Peter notices me, and tips his helmet a bit. Another girl glances in my direction to see who he was looking at. There are several people already watching, mainly girls. Cheerleaders? Other girlfriends? Girls scouting out the new freshman on the team? I glance over again and spot a few with lanyards with dorm keys around their necks, so yep, freshman here to eye the team. I swear I see a few long glances at Peter. All mine I think.

Peter always loves an audience. I smile, he was intimidated but I can clearly see he's keeping up just fine, even as a freshman. I sigh, annoyed a bit that Peter is so Peter. I wait for him on the bleachers while the team goes in the locker room. I hope he showers up quick.

I'm surprised when he emerges just a mere 10 minutes after, I didn't even make it all the way through my Insta stories. I snapped a selfie with the field in the background. Peter's eyes are shiny, he still smells like grass, sweat, and "au de Lacrosse practice," my favorite. I wrinkle my nose as he tries to snake his arm around me like he smells, but then let him do it anyway. Gotta keep his ego on its toes.

"Hi." I feel shy now that I am actually here.

"Hey Covey." Peter never calls me bae, babe, or any other pet names. It's Covey when he feels flirty, and Lara Jean if we need to be serious. I'm wearing a t-shirt he bought me at the UVA gift shop that has the lacrosse logo on it. He'd mailed it to my dorm one day before I left so I had mail by day two of college. UVA gear hurt just a little, because I had wanted to be here with him so badly. I hugged the sweatshirt that smelled like him and my vanilla sugar cookie candle to my chest. Peter has really been paying attention to all my positive reinforcement. It was the sweetest thing. My roommate made fake gagging sounds about it, and asked to see his picture once more after I opened my package. I knew she was impressed, as she should be. I lounged all day in his sweatshirt and decorated my room while my she was out all day. I think her barren side of the room is a sign that she doesn't plan on staying in and being cozy often.

The suns getting low and its cooling down when we are walking back to his dorm. He's got my navy duffel bag from my trunk now and his practice gear slung over his other shoulder. I was insistent that I did not want to look like some harlot moving into his room for the weekend, so he's pretending both of these bags are his.

"I can carry that until we are at the dorm."

"I wanna know who you had load this into your car! You've packed enough for a week!" he teases, making a show of nearly dropping the bag.

I punch him in the arm, and then frown. "I wish I was staying a week. I can't believe I only get to see you for two days." His smile stays fixed, cheeks pulled too tight. I can tell he's sad too.

"I was gone longer than this for training camp, and you went to Korea for a month." He takes his free hand and tips my chin up at him. "I think we've done really well for our first two weeks."

"I do too, really. And I loved my package." I smile at him, shyly again for some reason.

I remember the night in the tree house, when I took the locket back and let go of all my doubts about Peter, realized his feelings were real, the night we became real. This feels like more than that. We are adults, away from home. Daddy probably doesn't even where I am. We are spending the night together. He used to beg to sleep in my room and set an alarm to get up early to avoid trouble and I was so tempted, but I think I also liked that innocent stage of our relationship. Peter grins back at me, and its giddy. Peter is so Peter, he's not going to be shy. If he wakes up with drool all over him and pillow lines he will probably think it's charming. I get a flutter in my stomach thinking about looking over at him as soon as he wakes up. Damn it, its already charming.

"Are you hungry? I'd like to drop our stuff off and shower really quick, then run grab a bite to eat?"

"Yeah I haven't eaten since lunch." I don't feel a bit hungry. I feel jumpy and nervous.

We approach his dorm, it looks a lot like the tower I am in at Chapel Hill. There's a brick bench built around a semicircle of garden with a few built in picnic tables. A kids sitting there and strumming on a guitar with headphones in, maybe he's strumming whatever he's listening to. Odd. A girl with the longest legs I've ever seen has them outstretched towards a guy sitting at the small table with her, he's nodding emphatically to whatever she's said. I'd nod too at those legs. Peter swipes his student ID for the door, and the lobby looks like I pictured it with a small area for TV, a few raggedy couches, a couple tables, and a front desk. He guides me through the room with his hand on the small of my back to the front desk.

Sign in- he mouths. The girl at the desk is wearing a shirt that says "RA" and texting. Without looking up she says "ID." I flush, and glance at Peter. I zipped my purse into my navy bag. After getting him to hand me my bag I rifle through it, hand the ID over. Without looking at it she slips the ID into a clear pouch that looks like its meant for baseball cards. I'm puzzled. STILL without looking up she says "You come get it back when you're on your way out!" So much for no one suspecting I'm crashing the boys dorm for the weekend. I follow Peter over to the elevator, he's walking too quickly for my shorter legs and I can tell he is excited.

The elevator smells a bit musty, like hormonal boys and… maybe stale beer. My shoes make sticky sounds when I pick them up and I try not to think about it.

"I've really worked hard on my room. I think you're going to love it!" We've decided to skip room tours during our facetimes so it's more fun in person.

He walks me up to 306, there's KAVINSKY scrawled on one card paper on the right, and "MANN" written on the other side in loopy cursive letters. So his roommate has a girlfriend… unless he's just really into felt tip calligraphy pens. I make a mental note to dress up Peter's sign.

"I'm so excited to see it!" I'm not that excited. I'm expecting cold, shiny white tile floors, a bed in the corner, and a desk with a microwave on it.

Peter swipes his badge across the lock, like at a hotel.
When he opens the door I am taken aback and my immediate thought "Your mom loves you so much Peter K" makes him smile. I can tell Ms. Kavinsky probably spent an entire day transforming this little box of a room.

His bed is on the right back wall, lofted. I recognize his comforter and think of "Suburban filter" days. He never mentioned before that they had lofted beds. His dresser is on one side under the bed and then hanging from the frame underneath is a hammock chair, a navy clip on reading lamp just next to it hanging on the bedpost. Peter flips the lamp on and angles it towards the hammock.

"This would be a nice place to study or read while I'm at practice if you didn't feel like watching." I nod and hop over and to sit in the chair and give it a little swing. The floor is 90% covered with a navy, fluffy rug. The rest of the wall is taken up by his desk, which butts up against his closet. The small TV is mounted in a corner. His roommates bed lines up with its "feet" almost touching Peter's and I guess they chose this so they could both have prime TV angle. His desk and dresser are switched so he only has room for a small chair under the bed.
"I am SO JEALOUS!"

"Yeah the chair was Schmitz's. But he's gone over to the suites now since he is a junior and there's no where there really to put it so he gave it to me in pass downs."

Lacrosse isn't the "cash crop" of UVA so to speak, priority suite style dorms are reserved for the basketball and football teams with the big budgets, and then select upperclassmen athletes from other sports are moved into the suites based on grades.

They have a small bathroom with a stall type shower with a big crack next to the drain. Peter has a little toothbrush cup, a matching soap dispenser, and a gray and navy shower curtain. "Tour complete!" And we laugh at how funny it is to call it a "tour" when it's such a small space.

I'm still giggling a bit when he says, "I missed you." Peters voice is low. His mouth catches mine as I'm turning towards him. He's already bent to kiss me and his arms are so long, he reaches behind my thighs and scoops my legs around his waist and pushes my back against a wall in one swift motion. My eyes stay open for a second too long because I'm so surprised and I'm not quite over the jitters from all this newness. Peter sucks my bottom lip into his kiss and puts a hand into my hair and strokes it right behind my ear. The wickedness of him sucking my bottom lip combined with the sweetness of him playing with my hair is my undoing. I close my eyes and a soft moan escapes my lips. I freeze and my eyes are wide. Peter plants a playful peck on my cheek then and then whispers in my ear "I'll take that as an 'I missed you too.'" He slides me gently to the ground and I'm laughing, face reddened. He makes an awkward little hmph too because we both know what I just slid against. I give him a sideways grin and shrug. First kiss in two weeks, and my body feels limp and tingling all over at the same time. I think he was planning that move. I had been secretly hoping for a kiss in front of all those girls eagle eyed at his practice, but this was much better.

FDASJFDAJDFDJ

Peter's stomach growls. "I really do need to take a shower so we can eat. I'm starving." He goes to the dresser and grabs a fresh set of boxers, socks, jeans, and a t-shirt from the drawers, a towel from the top shelf of the dresser, sets them on the sink in the bathroom.

"So even though I'm going to be seeing you naked all weekend you're going to take the clothes into the bathroom like gym class?" I can't believe I said that!

His cheeks go red. I Lara Jean Song Covey have made Kavinsky blush. It passes in an instant and he makes eye contact with me and hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his practice shorts. I'm certain he's about drop it all when I hear the handle turn on the door. Peter's roommate bursts in.

"Lara Jean! I'm so glad to meet you! You actually looked taller in Kavinsky's phone!" Jason walks over and gives my hand an awkward shake/pat kinda thing. I think he's trying to be formal? He's grinning ear to ear, I can already tell he's a bubbly goofy person. I bet they'll get along great. Peter snaps his waistband and smirks behind his back.

I begin to give Jason a bow, and he steps back to imitate me and I burst out laughing. "Hahaha kidding….. Asian joke…." Peter guffaws at him, and slaps him over the back laughing.

Jason is shorter than Peter, and stocky in an "All American" kind of way and he's got sandy red hair, rose cheeks, and baby blue eyes. He plays lacrosse too. His whole face just reminds me of Thanksgiving for some reason.

"I'm glad I am meeting you too." He's so sweet looking.

I look over at Peter and he's straightening up my bag to his side of the room vs. the middle of the floor.

"Wow. I'm glad I didn't walk in on something. I didn't even think about texting first man. I know I said I was staying at Addy's tonight but I forgot so much stuff. Kind of weird to be staying over." Peter shuffles his feet and laughs, I stare at the floor hoping it swallows me whole. I'm certain he hasn't mentioned to Jason that his girlfriend of almost 3 years and he haven't "sealed the deal."

Jason makes a big show of grabbing the speaker, his PJs, his toothbrush, naming off everything he'll need for this sleepover. It's too cute. I hope Peter looks this happy when he's packing to come see me. After Jason walks out and closes the door Peter melts into the floor. "CLOSE CALL!" I melt too with my feet touching his and we laugh. "Jason's not seen me naked either." We both laugh until tears.

"One more surprise Covey and then we gotta EAT." Peter leads me over to the closet and in the corner is one of those plastic drawer sets, the top two drawers, he shows me, are empty. "I thought you could leave some fuzzy socks, your headbands, just things that aren't that easy to remember or fun to pack each time." He looks up at the ceiling, rolling his eyes in what I call his "Am I good or what?" face.
I can't help it and I tear up a bit. I think its just a combination of being so damn happy I'm here and then sad at the same time thinking about how far it is, how I'll have to pack up and come here for short stretches with long stretches in between.

"You've done so much for me in these two weeks and I've gotten behind! The packages, the stuff in your room…." and I trail off.

"I just want you to feel like this is working. This is going to work." He's making steady eye contact and grabs my hand. I know he believes it with all his heart, and it makes me believe whole-heartedly too.