Disclaimer: For some reason, these characters are still not mine. I know, Right?
Special thanks to Amara, Webbo, and 3 Star Jeneral for all the help, and encouragement.
All mistakes are mine, and mine alone.
Reviews appreciated.
2005
Colonel Jack O'Neill walked into the locker rooms, softly whistling the theme song from The Simpson's. He'd found out making a bit of noise was the best way to keep people from bumping into him at the SGC. He was used to people moving aside for him when he came down the halls, what with birds on his uniform and all, but since he'd accidentally become invisible, he'd been banged up more than a few times as someone literally ran into him (Daniel), smacked him with a large wrench (Siler), knocked him over while running to the control room as the klaxons blared (Teal'c), or simply swung their hands out in a wide motion, making firm contact with his face (that young, new airman, who was built like a tank, and whose name Jack had not yet learned). While Jack certainly enjoyed certain aspects of being invisible, like sneaking out of, or falling asleep during briefs, or staring at Carter without being concerned over getting caught, he was also beginning to see the down side. To combat all the run ins, he'd started whistling or humming as he walked down the halls, to let people know he was there, and to step around him, or stop to let him pass.
As Jack walked into the locker room, he heard the shower running in the back. He thought nothing of it, and continued on to his locker to grab a book he'd been reading. Despite what everyone thought, he did actually have a brain in his head, and liked to read. His favorite books were biographies, and histories, not that he'd tell Daniel that. He used to read scifi, but after actually living it for the past few years, he'd lost his taste for the genre. Nope, his life was far more exciting, and dangerous than anything a writer could come up with. He was also offended on behalf of Thor at the way little gray aliens never seemed to want to do more than probe humans. That simply wasn't true. Okay, so there was that time with Loki, but Jack was pretty sure he hadn't been probed. At least not that he remembered. He shuddered at the thought, and had just slammed the locker shut when, around the corner came his lovely 2IC, wrapped in nothing but a towel. The moment she saw the book floating in the air, she'd given a little shriek that made Jack smile, and turned, headed back toward the showers. Jack rolled his eyes as he followed her. "Carter?"
"Sir," she called from behind the curtain of one of the show stalls. "What are you doing in here? Didn't you see the sign was flipped to 'women' on the door?"
Jack realized he hadn't even looked, but rather barreled right in. "Um, no sorry. Guess I should pay more attention. So, why so skittish, Carter? It's not like I haven't seen you not fully clothed before. We've spent seven years working in the field together. I've seen more of your skin-" He stopped himself quickly. It was true that while working in the field, getting captured, and occasionally tortured, there'd been many moments when plenty of flesh had been exposed, and there were also moments he accidentally happened to see more than Carter probably would have wanted him to. Not on purpose, but he'd found that he'd stared a little longer than he should have on more than one occasion.
"Well, not at the SGC, Sir!" Sam called out indignantly. "Now, can you please go so I can get dressed?" She added a quick "Sir," after a beat.
"I don't know," he said slowly. "I mean, you're a captive audience, and it would seem a waste to toss away such an opportunity."
"Sir, this isn't the time for jokes. Would you please leave? I've got work to do."
"Fine, fine, I'm going." He turned and walked toward the exit. Just before he left though, he turned back, calling, "You wear a towel well, Carter! You should think about starting a trend."
Sam blew out a breath at his words and chuckled to herself. Leave it to Colonel O'Neill to catch her in the shower. Her mind suddenly took a turn she hadn't expected, causing her face to flame when she suddenly wondered what would happen if he'd joined her in the shower, visible, of course. She imagined his lean body pushing her against the wall, his mouth on her skin, as the hot water poured over them, making their skin slick and warm. Crap! She shook her head to clear the image. If she kept that up, she'd have to turn the shower back on with very, very cold water.
"Oh, come on!" Sam said irritably when she exited the shower the next day, to find Colonel O'Neill's coffee mug floating in the air.
"Well, hello, Carter," he said from a few feet away. "I didn't think I'd be seeing you. Ah, no, that would be you, wouldn't it? And look, you can't see me! Convenient."
She turned around, and pulled the curtain firmly behind her. "What are you doing here this time, Sir?"
Jack shrugged, though he knew she couldn't see it. He hadn't walked in on her on purpose again, but when he heard her singing, he knew he had to stick around to tease her. "Carter, how could I resist the lure of the concert you were giving in there? I mean, that's some voice you've got. I'd say a cross between an angry cat and a howler monkey."
"Hey!" Sam poked her head out and scowled at him.
"What? It's nice to know you aren't perfect at everything. I mean with the blowing up of suns, rewriting the laws of physics, and saving the planet on almost a weekly basis, you can make a guy feel pretty useless. Now, I know there's at least one thing I know I can do better than you. I can actually sing, and it won't scare small children or cause dogs to howl. It's a good feeling."
Sam rolled her eyes in the direction of the coffee cup. "First of all, I do not sound like a cross between an angry cat and a howler monkey; second, I've heard you sing, and you're no Bing Crosby; and third, get out!"
He shook his head and smiled. He was thoroughly enjoying himself. Oh, he knew it was just a bit over the line to be in there while she was showering, but he couldn't resist teasing her after her reaction yesterday. "Bing Crosby? You surprise me, Carter. I didn't think anyone besides me listened to old Bing any more."
"My dad liked Bing, and used to play his music in the kitchen on Sunday mornings while he and mom made breakfast."
Jack wondered what her life had been like before the death of her mother. Had she sung into a hairbrush in front of a mirror? Had she danced in the kitchen with Jacob? It was a nice thought. "Well, I'm glad to know you listened to more than disco and punk rock growing up."
Sam wondered how this insane conversation had gone on this long. She knew he was only being his goofy self, and would never do anything disrespectful, but she was kind of flattered that he'd stayed to joke with her. "For the record, I never listened to punk, now can you please leave so I can get dressed?"
"You're no fun, Carter, you know that?"
She shook her head. "So I've been told."
"You know, you should really work on lightening up. Live a little. Have some fun. Fish."
Sam watched the coffee mug float away. She caught on to the last word, and wished she'd taken him up on one of the many invitations he'd issued to go to his cabin. "I'm plenty fun, Sir. Plenty."
The coffee mug stopped briefly, and turned a half circle. She assumed he was now facing her direction. She could almost feel his eyes twinkling at her. "You keep telling yourself that, Carter. Just keep telling yourself." The mug turned back around, and headed toward the door. Sam laughed when she heard him start singing Bing Crosby's Slow Boat to China, as he left the room. She smiled all the way back to her lab, humming the tune softly, and thinking about the words.
I'd like to get you,
On a slow boat to China,
All to myself alone,
Get you and keep you,
In my arms, ever more,
Leave all your lovers,
Weeping on a faraway shore.
Sam smiled at the words, and thought they were very appropriate for how she felt, no matter how in appropriate those feelings may be. Secretly, she'd certainly like to get him alone. Maybe not on a slow boat to China, but a deserted planet sounded nice.
Three days later, Sam was no longer amused by the Colonel's shower prank. Every time she'd stepped out, she heard him make some crazy remark. She usually liked to have the locker room to herself, so she could think, and unless they were coming back from a mission, when she was staying on base, which was more often than not, always timed her showers for when the locker room would be empty. She was beginning to rethink that strategy. She stood under the spray of the water, trying to think of a way they could convince him to become visible again. She'd figured out how to reverse the problem the day before, but he was resistant to the idea. He was apparently enjoying invisibility a bit too much. He'd gone on about how it would be great for surprising the enemy, and several other things, including fulfilling some weird fantasy about being a ninja. She thought being invisible was the only way Jack O'Neill could ever be a ninja, because while he was great at being silent and sneaking up on people, you couldn't help but notice him and his commanding presence when he entered a room. When he was visible, of course. A banging sound, followed by a mumbled curse brought her out of her reverie. She pulled back just the top part of the shower curtain to peek around the room. When she didn't see anyone, she had a sneaking suspicion she probably wasn't alone. "Sir, is that you?" She called.
"Nope," Jack said softly after a few seconds.
She rolled her eyes and let out a huff. "Honestly, Sir," she said crossly, "I've had enough. You've had your fun, but you need to get out."
Thinking he hadn't had the kind of fun he often imagined having with her, he responded. "Okay, okay. I get it; you don't want to be fun. I'll just go…shall I?" His voice sounded slightly hopeful.
Sam felt a little guilty, about being so harsh, but told herself this couldn't continue. She'd been having far too many fantasies, both in her dreams and occasionally while staring at the walls of her lab, about a certain Colonel and showers. If he didn't leave her alone, she might go mad, or do something totally insane, like reach out and find him, then pull him into the shower with her, visible or not. "Yes. You shall." She said firmly, and listened as he left the locker room. They really had to figure out a way to get him to agree to reverse the process, before she lost her mind. They'd thought about doing it without his agreement, but apparently he had to be the one to trigger it, or it wouldn't work. Sam grabbed her towel and dried herself off, rather more roughly than normal. They had to get this worked out, and soon, before she went insane, or attacked him in a fit of lust.
