I got into his rusted blue pickup truck, waving to my friends before buckling in. I turned to face him – only a formality, since I couldn't see him anyways. "Sup?"
He sighed. "Yue broke up with me."
I sighed back, pretending to show regret when really my heart was jumping for joy. "That sucks, dude. I hope it gets better."
He shrugged, putting the car into drive and pulling away from the high school. "It's fine. I don't think it would have lasted, anyways. Too high maintenance, you know?"
I'mnot. I shook the thought of my head before punching him lightly in the arm. "Don't give up on love just yet, Snoozles."
He shrugged again, and I had an urge to put my hands on his shoulders. StopitToph, I told myself. Sokkaisyourfriend.Yourbestfriend.Sostopthinkingofhimlikethat.
"So how was your night?" he asked, and I snapped myself out of my thoughts.
"Huh? Oh yeah, the party. It was good, I guess." I left out the part that I had sat in the corner all night wishing he was there.
"Awesome. I'm glad you had fun. Meet any boys?" I knew without seeing that he was waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
I'vealreadymettheoneIwant. "Nah." I forced myself to grin at him.
"You know what, Toph? Let's make a pact. Neither of us will ever fall in love." I could tell by the rustling that he was running his hand through his shoulder length brown hair, and I felt jealous of his hand.
I laughed, but even a deaf man could have told it was fake. "Good luck with that." He laughed, and I added under my breath "I'm already in love."
"Huh?" He turned to look at me, his bright blue eyes most likely open wide.
"Nothing." I sad casually, hiding the light blush forming on my cheeks. "So, you doing anything tonight?"
"Well, I was gonna go out with the guys but I'm not in the mood. Why?" He pulled up in front of my house and waited for me to get out.
"You wanna stay here? You can give me some more lessons." I stayed in my seat.
"Of course! Here, let me call Gran-Gran to check." He pulled out his phone before cussing. "Stupid car with no cell phone reception. I'll be right back." He hopped out of the car, shutting the door.
I waited until I knew he was gone to throw my head onto the dashboard. I knew he hated this car. Yue had gotten it for him; thinking blue was his favorite color. It wasn't, and I knew it. His favorite color was green. He'd argued with me about it a few times before giving in and telling me the truth. That wasn't like him, he loved to argue.
I pounded my fists on the seat, biting down on my lip, hard. I knew everything about him. His birthday was on the 17th of February, not the 14th, which Yue had said just because she wanted her boyfriend to have a birthday on Valentine's Day. His sister was beautiful, but most people never paid any attention to her. She was just a small girl, tagging around behind him.
His eyes. His beautiful, blue eyes. I would never forget them. I had seen them once before the accident, and they were my most prized memory. Blue as blue could get, so dark and deep you could get lost in them. And he got them from his father, which not many people knew. He had told me that day his father had left to go fight in the navy, and I had held him when he'd cried. After that, I'd only seen him cry when his sister was hurt, and he'd tried his hardest not to let me hear.
I heard his footsteps and I sat up quickly, brushing my dark hair out of my face. He opened the door but didn't get in. "She said yes – get out of the car, lazy bones!"
I didn't even have to search for the handle to his door; I'd been in his car enough times to know where it was. I jumped out onto the sidewalk and slammed the door shut, going to the back of the truck and pulling out my school bags and waited for him. He grabbed his green messenger bag that he somehow managed to fit all of his books into and started up the path to my house. I ran to catch up with him, hoping and praying my parents weren't home.
I was lucky: they weren't. The both must still be at work. I pulled a spare key out of my green jacket Sokka had bought for me and opened the door, walking into the expensive mansion. The place was dead quiet and I dropped my bag on the floor with a thump just to hear something. "Put your bag there and then we can head up to my room."
Sokka tossed his bag on top of mine. "Race ya!" I could hear the wicked smile in his voice as we ran up the steps. Of course I won.
"No fair!" he shouted, flopping onto my floor. "You tripped me!"
"Snooze ya lose, Snoozles." I cackled and pulled two black cases from under my bed. It was a monstrosity of a thing, larger than anything you could find in a store. It was frilly and most likely beige. I could easily fit two guitars under there, no problem. And it's not like my parents ever looked under there.
I lugged them over to where he was sitting and sat down next to him, popping open my case. I knew it was mine because it was the lighter of the two, containing a smaller instrument. I pulled out the black and emerald guitar, running my hands over the strings gently. I had started to learn how to play before the crash, and after it had happened my father had sold my guitar and canceled all my lessons. I was heartbroken, until Sokka had offered to teach me.
He took out his guitar next to me, a golden wood with bright green strings. It was atrocious, but he'd always wanted something green on his guitar. I'd told him when I first found out he'd played just to buy a green one, but he just told me that it was his dad's guitar and nothing more was said about it. He strummed a few notes experimentally before getting out my lesson sheets. He hand-made them every night, punching tiny holes into hard paper. It was a crude Braille music system that wouldn't make sense to anyone else, but it worked for us.
I heard his hair swishing and knew he was searching the room. I blushed and looked down, hoping he would miss all the facts that I loved him. He overlooked all the signs, missing the pictures I hung in a special place over my bed, the pictures I had on my desk, the fact that the pillows and knick-knacks he had bought me were front and center in my room, and anything my parents had forced me to accept was placed behind his things. In some ways I was glad he didn't know. He didn't know that I practiced on the guitar he left here instead of mine, longing for him to be there with me.
"Hey Toph, is it okay if I leave my guitar here just a bit longer? Katara and Gran-Gran still don't want me playing, so I still can't let anyone else know." I nodded slowly, not fully listening. I was lost in my thoughts about him once more.
"Alright, so let's get started." I shut my eyes and forced him out of my mind as much as I could, turning my attention to the music. I ran my hands over the notes and smiled. It was the song we'd worked on last time, the one that was his favorite. Meaning I'd worked extra hard to get it down.
"I don't need your help." I said as he reached up to strum for me, since I normally kept one hand on the notes and the other actually holding the strings down. He looked surprised and sat back on his heels. I could almost feel his eyes on me, and I started off slowly. The notes surrounded me, and I let all of my problems flow away from me. Music was my passion, the only thing that took my mind off of Sokka for any amount of time.
When I was done, I put the guitar down, waiting for a reaction. What I got was just what I wanted. "Wow Toph…" Sokka's voice sounded shocked. "That was great. No mistakes at all, you did really well. I'm proud of you."
I blushed darkly for most likely the hundredth time that day and looked down, murmuring my thanks. I knew he was grinning and so I looked up, waiting for the lesson to continue. Suddenly I heard his phone buzz. He picked it up and muttered a few choice words before placing his guitar back in its case and getting up to go. "Gran-Gran needs me home, something about Katara not being able to make it home and her needing help with dinner. I'll see you tomorrow I guess."
"Yeah, guess so. Bye Sokka." I felt him pause before walking out of the room, and I wanted nothing more than to run after him and tell him how I felt. But I didn't. I stood frozen in my room as he let himself out and drove off in that obnoxious car. And then I cried.
My parents didn't come home until 11 o'clock last night. By then I should have been sleeping, so they put themselves to bed without even bothering to come in and check on me. But that was okay. I was going through the pictures of us, the ones I couldn't even see. I felt like crying, and I cursed myself. I was supposed to be strong. Crying twice in one day was unheard of for me. I was strong. Not when it came to him though. I was never strong when it came to him.
I sighed and placed the pictures back in their box and slid them under my bed. My long dark hair covered my pillow, fanning out behind me. I closed my eyes and hoped for peaceful dreams.
I awoke to the thought of his name, his eyes in my mind. I pulled myself out of bed just so I could be there on time when he drove up to take me to school. I dressed myself in something other than mud stained shirts and ripped jeans just so that he might pay attention to me. I had my mom – my mom, my second least favorite person on the planet, only behind my dad – put on my makeup, just so that when he looked at me he might see someone else instead of the girl he'd been seeing for the past ten years. I sighed as my mom left. I was hoping for a miracle that most likely was not going to happen. And I knew it would hurt like hell when he didn't treat me any different this morning.
"Toph," my mom's voice stopped me as I was walking out of my room. "This boy, this Sokka you've been spending a lot of time with, do you love him Toph?"
My heart sped up just at the mention of his name, but I shook my head. "No Mom, he's my friend. Just a really close friend, that's all. Nothing more than a friend."
I knew I loved him in my heart. But I kept lying to myself, to him, to my friends, to my parents. Whenever someone would ask me if I loved him, I'd lie.
