A/N: I'm bored so I'm writing this. I hope you all like! I don't own fullmetal alchemist!
Things that are safer then calling Edward Elric short.

1. Fight a deranged bear.

2. Step on a lion▓s tail.

3. Kiss a poisonous snack.

4. Punch a tiger in the face.

5. Insult my uncle.

6. Hug a dog with ray bees.

7. Stick your head in a lion▓s mouth after stepping on its tail.

8. Insult me.

9. Swim in front of a shark wall bleeding.

10. Drive a motorcycle blind folded.

11. French a vampire.

12. Tick off Wrath.

13. Steel a pterodactyl▓s egg.

14. Tease a gorilla.

15. Make a T-Rex made.

16. Stomp on jelly fish.

17. Eat a poisonous mushroom.

18. Pet a raccoon.

19. Try to touch a girl▓s butt (I know I would kill any guy that tried that).

20. Try to touch a girls breast (okay, the guy is dead meet now).

21. Call a very angry elderly person over and over again and hang up be for they find out that you are.

22. Play base ball with a hornets nest.

23. Step on an ant hill bear foot.

24. Play ketch with a bee hive.

25. Any thing is safer then insulting Edward Elric.

Edward: (smiles) Yay, I'm pretty dangerous

Al: oh please

Me: BESIDES! WHO WOULD WANNA MAKE FUN OF HIM! HE▓S SO CUTE AND TINNY!

Edward: WHAT!

Me: (hugs)

Edward: I-Can't-Breath

Al: (tries to get me to let go)

Me: YOU'RE SO CUTE! AND TINNY! AND SMALL! AND SHORT!

Edward: some one save me-(blacks out)

Al: (is still trying to get me to let go)

Roy: He's not dangerous at all! He can't even fight off a girl!

Me: (fires a gun a Roy and misses by an inch)

Roy: (gulps then runs away)

Al: she won't let go!

Me: I WOVE ME CUTESY PUTSY EDY WEDY!

Edward: XX