notes:
-kenma is genderqueer in this
-they're all aged up a bit, duh
-don't ask me what they do exactly
-this is a colleCTION OF DRABBLES, DRABBLES bc what the heckie is plot
"For your aid on this job, we'll offer you five million yen. So how about it? Quick and painless, yeah? Great deal, just sign here..."
Silence takes over the room as the man in the tacky brown suit jacket trails off. He shifts in his seat across from the infamous boss of Nekoma, Kuroo Tetsurou, who is lounging in all his glory on a leather couch, lazy smirk on his face and hair as wild as the rumours say. Two other members of the group are standing just behind the couches, both armed and with eyes trained on their guest. The only person in the room not eyeing the negotiating representative like a hawk is the small blond sitting next to Kuroo, face turned down towards the smartphone in his hands. It's hard to tell if they're a man or woman, what with their delicate features and pale skin, but the main point is that they look harmless and unimportant. Probably Kuroo Tetsurou's new plaything; not worth reporting back to the boss.
"Hm, sounds interesting," Kuroo says, finally. His smirk remains, but his eyes are sharp, calculating, as they glance from their guest to the person beside him. "What do you think, Kenma?"
The blond doesn't look up. Their finger continues to scroll down the phone, but Kuroo waits patiently. When their guest begins to squirm at the silence, Kenma speaks. "Ten million yen, up front. Or no deal."
Kuroo hums, tugging gently on a strand of blond hair. "Alright. You heard them." He nods to the man sweating in front of them. "Change the contract, and we'll do it."
The man gapes. "Wh-what-no! I mean, uh." He gulps when Kuroo raises an eyebrow. "Five million yen is more than enough-our boss even raised the price, it's double! Double the regular price, yeah? I mean, ha, you're not going to just listen to some dumb kid spouting nonsense are you-"
"Oi, oi, oi! Watch your fucking tone, I tell ya!" One of the men hovering in the background steps forward, getting right up in his face. His appearance is already enough to instill fear in most people, the dyed blond streak amidst the black hair and big broad shoulders, but his scowl is truly the most terrifying thing. "Don't you fucking dare talk about our Kenma in that way, ya hear, huh, punk?"
"Down, Yamamato." Kuroo's voice is calm, but his eyes flash dangerously as he pulls Kenma towards him. "I'm going to tell you one thing, and you can go report this back to your boss, alright? And that is that we at Nekoma favour respect above anything else. Respect to each other, and respect to all we have business with. So you don't get to come in here demanding our help with the little mess your group has gotten itself into, try to cheat us out of our profit, and then have the nerve to insult one of us.
"Now, Nekoma is an entity you don't want to mess with, you understand? We work like blood in your body, flowing smoothly so as to circulate oxygen to our brain. And the one you're calling some 'dumb kid'? They're our Brain. So yes, I am very much going to listen to that 'nonsense' they're spouting." Kuroo's smirk widens, until the room suddenly feels several degrees colder. "And if you even think about touching a single hair on my kitten's head-well. I can guarantee that'll be the last thought you ever have. Understood?"
The man is frozen in his seat, eyes wide and barely breathing. He's starting to regret allowing his boss to send him here alone. "Y-yes. I understand. I'll ask to change the contract immediately."
"Good. Pleasure doing business with you." Kuroo smiles, but it doesn't make the man feel any better. "Yamamoto, Fukunaga, won't you escort our guest out?"
When the two members roughly shove the man out the door, Kenma turns towards Kuroo, a small frown on their face. "Do you have to do that every time?" they mutter.
"Do what?" replies Kuroo in an innocent manner, toying with their hair again.
"That embarrassing speech about the blood and the brain."
"But it's true though. You're our brain."
Kenma sighs. "It's gross."
Kuroo chuckles, tugging them closer. "How'd you figure the ten million yen?"
Kenma shrugs. "Five million is way too little, considering they're making us do the dirty work. We'll be left out of the loot, too, since we're not signing for clean up. That 'double the regular price' was bullshit."
"Mm. Aren't I lucky to have such a smart brain on our side."
"Gross."
But Kenma doesn't resist when Kuroo tugs them into his lap, and when Yamamoto and Fukunaga come back to report they've sent the man off successfully, they find their boss softly stroking blond hair as their real mastermind of operations dozes off against Kuroo's chest.
