A blind date
So I have a blind date tonight.
I've never had a blind date before. Friends have tried to set me up a few times, but I never went along. There was always something that intimidated me about the concept of meeting a person you've never seen before. Sure, it happens many times during each day, you always meet new people. But this is different; you're going to have a dinner or maybe you're going to watch a movie, with a person you know nothing about accept for what your friends told you, which is probably not exactly true. They're most likely just trying to convince you to go out with this person, so they're making him sound better than he really is.
I always thought I can make it on my own. I don't need anybody's help. And I'm not talking just about relationships. I always thought it's better to go out with someone you already know. At least someone you've already seen… and besides, I'm no charity, I don't need people to set me up with this "really cute guy", it's not like guys don't hit on me occasionally.
To tell you the truth, that system of meeting guys on my own, has never proved itself to be better.
See, I'm 20 years old and I've never had a serious boyfriend. I've never had a relationship going on more than a couple of months. I always find something wrong, a reason to break it up. Not an excuse- a reason. And I'm also right, on most cases.
Let's make a quick review, to help you understand what I mean:
It was summer vacation before my high school's senior year. I'm going out with a guy who's just graduated. I really like him, but there's a voice telling me not to get too attached. Senior year has started, and two weeks later I found out he had cheated on me with his ex. She was in my class, and didn't even know we were dating. Or so she said.
Two years later. I'm going out with a really cute guy. Something's telling me not to trust him. He's a player. People around me say it too. Then I found out he had cheated on me at a party, with a girl he doesn't even know, while I was at the same party! He later claimed to be drunk, and not remembering what he did.
That guy is still trying to get me back.
Of course there were a few guys who I wanted, and thought that something good could come out of dating them, only they didn't want me.
So you see? I have good reasons about the fact that I'm 20 years old, and I've never been in love.
But a blind date?
What if he's some kind of a maniac? What if he's a pervert? Oh my god! What am I going to do if he'll try to do something to me? I've been through a certain experience once; I sure as hell never want to go through anything like it again!
How will I know? I've never met him. I don't know who he is. I've never seen him.
God, what have I got myself into?
No! Stop it!
Meeting guys on my own, as I always insisted on, clearly had never worked well for me. That's why I decided to go on that stupid blind date at the first place.
It's time to grow up and try new things.
I'll meet him in a public place. Just in case.
I have to try this. For myself.
And who knows? Maybe something good will grow out of this. Worst case scenario: it will be a terrible date, and I'll try to make up reasons for why I can't see him again. Not excuses- reasons.
Oh my god… I have a blind date tonight!
