Disclaimer: I do not own the How I Met Your Mother Series…But I do ship this couple ^_^
"Speaking."
(Thinking)
Narrator Ted
Scene Change
Chapter1: The Right Girl
Kids, there was a time your uncle Barney and aunt, Robin were not on the same page. It seemed like each time we would meet in the usual watering hole they would always ignore each other.
Inside MacLaren's(In the UsualBooth)
"And then she asked me 'Wow, how do you earn so much in a year! What do you do for a living?' Like I haven't heard that question before?" Barney grabbed his glass and sipped a little whiskey before continuing his
story. "So anyway this girl was banging hot and I mean BANGING HOT!" Barney emphasized her breast size using his hands and chest. "And I can't lie to a woman like that!"
Ted, Marshall, and Lily noticed that Barney used the "Can't lie" phrase and simultaneously raised their heads and looked at Barney.
"However for precautionary measures I had to and I told her that the only way for her to find out is to be my secretary for the whole night. And meaning the whole night I meant –"
"Okay Barney we get it." Lily suddenly blurted. "Geez Barney, how many more women do you have to fool in order for you to stop messing around?" Lily asked as she crunched into a handful of peanuts.
Kids remember Nora? You know the girl your Uncle Barney was supposed to marry? Well things didn'tgo out so well. When your Aunt Lily told me that the bride needed to see me I thought that she had the pre-wedding jitters as well. But when I entered the room I found a note on the table saying that she didn't want to be a part of Uncle Barney's life. She left him even without stepping on the aisle. We thought that Uncle Barney would be taking it very hard... Just like me , but for some reason he got back into the dating game just a few weeks after the supposed wedding … Huh, at least Stella had the decency to show her face before leaving me… Anyway back to my story.
"I guess maybe…NEVER, or until I run out of plays. That reminds me." Barney suddenly took out a notepad and pen from his coat pocket and started to scribble his new play. "Anonymous Richman play is a GO!"
"Wait a minute…Anonymous?" Ted questioned. "You didn't make up a name to get this girl to sleep with you?"
"That's the fun part, because before she woke up I disappeared from the bedside and slipped a note under her pillow saying: You were a wonderful assistant, I'll call you if ever I'm in town again! Then I squiggled in a
little heart at the end of the note." Barney said with his hand spanning through the air.
"And this girl fell for it?" Marshall asked.
"See it for yourself?" Barney turned to his left and looked at a table on the other end of MacLaren's. And naturally the curious gang followed his eyes.
There on the other end of MacLaren's sat a group of girlfriends snickering and giggling around. Three of the four women begged their friend to read a note she had on her hand.
"Okay, okay I'll read it one last time." She took a breath and read the note. "You were a wonderful assistant. I'll call you if I'm ever in town again! And then he drew a heart at the end. Isn't he sweet?"
"Another satisfied customer." Barney bragged.
Lily scoffed at Barney and turned her attention to her watch. "Oh my God look at the time, Marshall we should get going."
"It's 8:30 already?" Marshall stood up from his seat and waited for Lily to get off the seat.
"Guys, guys the night is young. Just a few more drinks." Ted gestured showing the bottle of beer in his hands.
"Sorry Ted we can't. We just hired a new baby sitter."
As you know your Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall are very busy people. With Lily molding the future minds of the world and Marshall saving the planet they had a hard time keeping an eye on their son, Michael. They tried to fix their schedules but it didn't workout. There will be times where Lily was so stressed that she let off most of her steam in her class, and Marshall would go to work with the baby bag than his suitcase. So they decided to hire a baby sitter. But they had issues trusting them…
"Ah, another baby sitter; tell me what is she like?" Ted asked with his hands entwined.
"Well, she's had lots of experience with children…" Lily started.
"She lives just around the corner of our apartment building!" Marshall added.
"And she's doing this for a good cause." Lily concluded.
"And the meaning of a good cause…?' Ted asked.
"She's doing it so that she can finally pay her college tuition, and no Barney you cannot see her." Lily halted Barney even before he can open his mouth.
Barney crossed his arms and grunted. "I wasn't going to ask you that?"
"Oh really?" Marshall questioned.
"Okay maybe I was but Lily broke my momentum!"
"A college student eh…" Ted thought for a moment.
"Not you too." Lily whacked the back of Ted's head to stop him from imagining. "I don't want to give her additional stress; she's taking two part-time jobs and a baby sitting job to pay off her tuition."
"Ooh three jobs, that makes her flexible!"
"Barney!" Marshall retorted.
"Okay, okay we promise…Now get going before she does a full split in front of your son." Barney joked. "Because I might be there if she does."
Lily and Marshall left MacLaren's before Barney continued his joke. It was just him and Ted now in the booth.
"Two men getting drunk in a bar and no women –"
"Awkward." Ted finished.
They thought that they would be alone a bit longer when they noticed Robin running towards their booth.
"Robin!" They both hollered to cover the awkwardness.
"Hey guys!" Robin observed the booth and realized that she was too late. "They already left?"
"They already left." Ted answered. "It's the new baby sitter thing again."
"Damn it." Robin cursed as she sat down next to Ted. "I wanted to share the good news to everyone."
"What good news?" Barney asked.
Kids this happened before they weren't on the same page.
"The head director of World Wide News personally asked me to cover their special story." She shared.
"Wow that's great Robin." Ted complimented. "A story on what exactly?"
"I don't know. But all I know is that it's going to be in a different country…I can see myself now." Robin started imagining herself being in Japan covering the Sakura festival, or in Spain reporting on the running of the bulls.
The possibilities were endless.
"Good God I can't take it anymore!" Barney had been fidgeting on his seat ever since Lily told them about the new baby sitter. "I'm sorry Ted, but I have to see that baby sitter before my head explodes." Barney ran out
of the bar without saying another word to his friends. "College student?" Robin asked.
"College student…So how did you land the job? I really want to know."
"Ah…About that." Robin took a deep sigh before answering. "Nora was supposed to do it, but she handed in her resignation a few weeks after the wedding. So, since I have seniority they gave to me."
"Wow you must be psyched huh? I mean this is what you've always wanted. To travel around the world, report some interesting stuff. Look out world because Robin Scherbatsky is going places." Ted raised his beer as a
sign of cheers. "And I mean it literally and figuratively."
"Wow, you're really happy for me aren't you? Or you're just kissing up to me so for the souvenirs?"
"Robin Scherbatsky how could you?" Ted covered his mouth and pretended to cry. "Yes, it's for the souvenirs."
"Well wherever I'm going I'm sure it's going to be pretty great!"
And kids,it was a pretty awesome place. But I'll tell you a little later.
Inside Ted Mosby's Apartment
Ted was on his study table drawing a new building for his next project. Robin was at work prepping for her big trip when all of a sudden Barney barged into the room.
"TED ARE YOU THERE?" Barney greeted in a booming voice.
Ted jolted from Barney's greeting which caused him to slide his pencil and created a line mark on the piece of paper.
Ted crumpled the piece of paper he was working on and threw it behind him. "Yes, Barney." He said in a sarcastic tone.
"Oh there you are buddy." Barney clapped his hand on Ted's shoulder with a huge smile on his face. "Guess what?"
"You saw the baby sitter –"
"I saw the baby sitter!" Barney repeated. "And I am telling you Ted…You can have her."
"No Barney don't do it she's just…Wait what?" When Ted realized that Barney offered the baby sitter he knew something was wrong. "Is she pretty?"
"Not pretty Ted, beautiful, she has the goods and a smart one too, she's paying her tuition for law school…Ted LAW SCHOOL!"
"Okay…What's the catch?"
"Oh there's no catch. She's all yours buddy congratulations."
It is unlike Barney to share a girl's assets out in the open like that. And if he does it usually has a catch, like she has three big brothers who are over protective or she wears steel toed boots for protection. Barney wasn't
being Barney.
"Okay Barney, are you out of your mind? This is so unlike you!"
"Oh no Ted I am still in my mind. I just realized that American women do not satisfy me anymore. Barney Stinson must go GLOBAL!"
"Wait I thought you've done that already?"
"Yes, but in American soil. I must travel across the globe to find the most beautiful yet slightly dumb women of the world to sleep with me. And this is a great opportunity for me to test if my plays work on foreign women
as well."
"And I have a feeling we can't stop you –"
"And neither of you can stop me Ted" Barney repeated.
"Aren't you going a bit overboard?"
"No Ted, going overboard means that I would create a machine that lets me travel from different dimensions to bang girls from that said dimension."
"This might sound stupid, but why would you want to do that?"
"Think about it." Barney wrapped his arm around Ted's shoulder and brought him closer to his side. "Girls with two pairs of boobs!"
Ted pushed Barney away from him and gave him a weird look.
"Oh come on don't tell me that doesn't sound great!"
"I prefer the not going overboard one." Ted mentioned. "I'm curious though. Where will you start?"
"Ah, that my friend is a good question." Barney stated. "Earth has 196 countries but only one has the woman I am looking for. And that country is…"
Inside the World Wide News Director's Office
"Brazil!" Robin couldn't believe it and let out a shrill.
"Yes Robin, Brazil. You will be covering the story on what goes on during the Carnivale. I know that the Carnivale is a month away, but it's never too early to get started."
"Thank you Mister Peterson, I won't let you down."
Robin hugged the folder which contained her assignments and stepped out of the office. Finally something her father might be proud of, a story her friends can finally watch without the excuse of sleeping, and an
opportunity of a lifetime.
But it was because of Brazil that caused your Uncle Barney and Aunt, Robin to ignore each other.
End of Chapter 1
TobeContinued…
