Life is But a Dream

Roy/Ed

This is based on an honest to goodness dream I had while traveling abroad. Airplane food and jetlag does weird shit to my mind…

And I don't own Ed or Roy, but I can still send subliminal messages into their pervy little minds.


Edward Elric was not the least bit well. For the fourth morning in a row he'd gone strait from bed to the bathroom to be sick. This had not escaped the attention of his lover. Every morning since this particular unpleasant ritual had begun Roy wound up carrying Ed back to the bedroom and spending the better part of the day trying to help him feel better. Things didn't seem to be getting any better either. The fourth day Ed developed a high fever and Roy decided things were getting a bit out of hand.

"Ed…I think we'd better get you some help."

The younger man rolled over in bed, not the least bit happy to be disturbed while trying to sleep.

"Don't feel good…"

"I know. That's why I say it." Roy sat down on the edge of the bed and brushed a few strands of golden hair back from Ed's eyes.

"But I don't wanna go anywhere." He whined

"Well, I'm sure we can find a doctor somewhere in Central who still makes house calls."

Ed sighed, resigned to his fate. He didn't really like the idea of having a stranger come into his house to poke and prod him, but it seemed better than the alternative. Roy wrapped his lover warmly in a blanket and carried him downstairs. Even inside the winter was cold, and Roy didn't want Ed to get chilled on top of his other problems. He tried to lay Ed down on the sofa, but the young man whimpered in protest at losing contact with Roy's warm body.

"Okay, okay…" Roy pulled his lover closer to him and sat down to go through the phone book. There had to be someone who was willing to come on such short notice. By the time he finally found someone Ed was dozing peacefully in his arms. Looking down at him Roy noticed the younger man seemed to be getting rather pudgy. He tired to resist the temptation, but in the end wound up gently rubbing the other's stomach. Suddenly there was a movement under his hand, like a slight kick.

"Holy shit!" he yelped, almost dropping Ed

Immediately the blonde's eyes opened.

"What was that?" his voice sounded scared "Roy, what's happening to me?"

"It's going to be alright." Roy soothed. He was a bit unsure himself. What he'd just felt reminded him a lot of the times Hughes had made him feel his wife's stomach when she was pregnant and the baby kicked. But then, it did add up. The sickness, the weight gain…and Ed had seemed a bit moodier than usual for awhile. Yes, it all added up, except for one thing. Ed was male. Roy was male. It couldn't be possible!

Two hours later there was a scream from the Mustang/Elric house.

"What the fuck do you mean, pregnant!" Ed shrieked "It's not possible!"

He looked up at Roy, terror apparent in his eyes.

"It can't be possible" he said, half begging

"I'm afraid there can be no mistaking the test results, Mr. Elric." The doctor said "You are most definitely pregnant, and a few months along at that."

Ed buried his face in Roy's shoulder and began to sob uncontrollably. This couldn't be happening! Was he some kind of freak? Boys, especially boys with important missions to complete, didn't have babies!

"No, no, no…make it stop, Roy, please…" he sobbed

Instead of trying to comfort him Roy shook him roughly, as though trying to wake him up.

"Stop!" he cried "you'll hurt the baby!" Oh no…the baby…him…Roy! It was all too much!

"Ed…Edward!" a familiar voice was calling urgently for him. Ed's eyes snapped open. He was lying in bed, drenched in cold sweat. The blankets were half off the bed and Roy stood beside him naked. When he say his lover's eyes were open a look of relief crossed Roy's face.

"Are you alright?" he asked "You were thrashing around and screaming something about 'make it stop' and a baby…are you sick or something?" He pressed a hand to Ed's cheek to make sure he wasn't warm and then looked down at the younger man, confused.

"Was it just a dream?" Ed asked, his voice still shaking

"Must have been one hell of a dream by the sounds of it."

"Roy…you've got to promise me something. Promise you'll never get me pregnant."

Now Flame looked even more confused.

"…Pregnant? Are you sure you're feeling alright? Ed, we're both scientists. And I know that you know that there's no possible way you could have a baby."

"Just promise?"

"Alright…if it'll help you get back to sleep."

Ed nodded, and laid a hand on the bed next to him, indicating that Roy should lay down. Roy did so, a thousand confused thoughts still running through his head. The younger Alchemist pressed close to him, sighing contentedly when his lover wrapped his arms around him. Roy could feel Ed still trembling slightly from his nightmare and wondered what on earth had brought it on. He was just an innocent bystander who'd been kicked repeatedly when Ed started to spaz out in his sleep. He pressed a gentle kiss to Ed's neck and buried his face in his lover's hair. Ed could be a nut sometimes, but he was a lovable nut (albeit one who had very strange dreams).

"Roy?" Ed whispered sleepily

"Yeah?"

"What do you think would happen if I did have a baby?"

"If you had a baby? Don't be silly Ed. I'd love you just as much as ever. But no one in this bed is going to get pregnant."

A few moments passed in silence, and then:

"Roy?"

"Yes Edward?" Roy could hardly keep his eyes open

"Would you rather have a son or a daughter?"

"Go to sleep, Ed."