A/N: This short, not-quite-a-one-shot was written based on a prompt by PiscesChikk. It started out as a drabble, but I've added a bit here and there, so those of you who've already read it will notice that's it not exactly the same.

Also, I know some of you are wondering about my other story, Three Little Words. I've been struggling a bit with writer's block since I last updated, but I've started working on chapter three and hope to have it done soon. Thanks so much for all your reviews and especially your patience.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Prompt: Joss and John talk about sex toys.


The package is as plain as plain could get. Small and square, it sits atop the high shine of John's granite kitchen countertop wrapped in unremarkable brown paper. The only thing that keeps it from getting tossed into a tub full of water—or even thrown out the fifth-story window if John has his way—is Shaw's slanted handwriting scrawled across the front in bold black ink.

Joss can tell that he's tempted to destroy it anyway, but instead, they stare at the unexpected delivery, both trying to figure out what the younger woman is up to.

John shifts his gaze, looking at her with a raised brow. He doesn't try to hide his blatant curiosity. "Aren't you going to open it?"

"Why don't you open it?" Joss feels more than a little foolish at a response that sounds like it could have come from her fifteen-year-old son.

He looks distinctly amused at her reply as he leans over the parcel to peer at Shaw's barely legible chicken scratch. "Because it's addressed to you." He angles closer, eyes squinting slightly as he follows a long line of writing that skirts along the edge. A smirk curves his lips, and he casually shrugs. "And Shaw was kind enough to warn me that she'll shoot me if I do."

Following his line of sight, Joss shakes her head, now fighting her own smile. Against her better judgment, she reaches out with pursed lips, trying to maintain some semblance of disapproval at whatever game Shaw is playing. And there's no doubt in her mind that the pint-sized terror is up to something. She always is.

When the wrapping finally hits the floor and the flaps of the cardboard box are pushed open wide, she stares in shocked disbelief. Nestled in a bed of garish, multi-colored paper is a large, anatomically correct dildo enclosed in clear, protective plastic. One that rotates and vibrates if the segmented tip and thoughtfully included jumbo pack of batteries is any indication.

Tucked beneath the toy is a small card encased in a flaming red envelope that practically demands her to have a very happy belated birthday. Either with John or all by herself. Her choice.

I'm gonna kill her, Joss vows silently, barely avoiding rolling her eyes at the other woman's dry sense of humor. Tilting her head a bit, she curiously studies her gift, noting with fascination that it's the right hue and roughly the right size. She doesn't even want to begin to imagine her benefactor sizing John up in her mind as she gleefully perused the cramped aisles of some sex shop in the seedy part of town.

Warmth spreads through her as John steps in close, his breath ruffling the hair at her temple as he peers over her shoulder. His chest expands against her back as he pulls in a slow, deep breath and the hand that is lightly skimming her right hip tightens. She can practically feel his eyebrows reach for his hairline. "Who knew Shaw could be so…imaginative?"

She releases a sound that is supposed to be a carefree chuckle, but comes out as a slightly embarrassed giggle. "She told me she was going to get me something for my birthday, but I certainly wasn't expecting something like this."

They are both silent for a long, charged moment as they thoughtfully continue to eye Shaw's questionable idea of a birthday present. John's voice finally breaks the silence. It's low and raspy and dripping with unspoken promise. "Are you going to return it?"

Joss shivers at the implication, thinking maybe she won't kill Shaw after all. "I could be persuaded not to."

"Good." John turns her around and presses her back against the counter, aligning their bodies from chest to hips. Already, she can feel him growing hard against her stomach as he reaches behind her and slides the box closer. "Now…let's see how many of these batteries we can go through tonight."