Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless (by Yun Kouga) or the song "One Night Only" (from Dreamgirls).
Yoru: I know you all are going to think this is weird, but the reason I'm writing this is because I support Soubi x Kio over Soubi x Ritsuka. No, it's not that Ritsuka's twelve…even if that is a little creepy…
Kuronue: I can sense it. You're getting off topic.
Yoru: Sorry. Anyway, I just feel really sorry for Kio. He's so in love with Soubi. Sooooooo…this is dedicated to Kio x Soubi fans! Not that I don't love the rest of you…I do…Heart!
Kuronue: Here's the fic!
He wasn't there. He was never there. He was always at school…or with the kid.
That's definitely where he is now, at 10:00 PM, the lone occupant of Soubi's room thought bitterly.
Kio sighed, sitting, watching cars go by out the window. His lollipop was long gone, the stick the only evidence that it had ever existed. Kio hadn't really noticed it anyway; his mind was elsewhere.
You want all my love and my devotion
You want my loving soul right on the line
Soubi had all of his love and devotion, and Kio was willing to give the man his soul. What more did Soubi want? What did that…that…child have that Kio didn't?
Or maybe Ritsuka wasn't the problem. Maybe it was Soubi who had the problem.
I have no doubt that I could love you forever
The only trouble is
You really don't have the time
Soubi never had time for Kio. Always fighting for Ritsuka, working on this project, going to that class, never having the time for his best friend. Kio felt himself getting angry.
This isn't the way friends are supposed to be! he thought furiously. He chewed angrily on his lollipop stick, reducing it to splinters. Not that he wanted to be friends, he admitted to himself. No, he wanted so much more.
I love you, Soubi, he thought desperately. Why doesn't that matter to you?
You've got one night only
One night only
That's all you've got to spare
"Soubi-chan, can we make love?"
"What?" Soubi looked up sharply. Kio glared down at him.
"You heard me."
"You're joking." Soubi smiled and went back to his drawing.
"Would I joke about something like this? Don't answer that. Just…Soubi-chan, I'm not joking."
"Kio…"
"You never have time for me as your friend, so maybe if we became lovers…"
"Shut up." Soubi stood up, shaking with an emotion that Kio couldn't read, "I can't be your lover. I don't love you…that way."
"But you love me."
"Well, yes…"
"Then make love to me."
It was the first time Kio had ever seen Soubi flustered. The taller man went back to his drawing, pressing the pencil down a little too hard.
"I don't have time. This is due tomorrow."
"Finish it and then make love to me." Kio sat down next to Soubi, laying his head on the other man's shoulder, "Please?"
"I said no."
"If you had time, would you? Be honest."
"…yes."
Kio was jolted awake by his watch beeping at him to tell him that it was 10:30. Soubi still wasn't home.
One night only
Let's not pretend to care
"One night only."
"Okay. Why just one?"
"I am not your lover, Kio. Do you understand?" Soubi lifted Kio's face and looked deeply into his eyes.
"Yes."
Soubi watched him a little while longer, and then kissed him. It was gentle and chaste, and Kio melted into it.
One night only
One night only
Come on, big baby come on
Kio remembered that night vividly, even if it had been a year ago. The feeling of Soubi's warm, dry hands on his hot skin…the sound of Soubi's gentle voice saying his name over and over…the taste of Soubi's tongue…
Kio flopped down on his bed as he remembered.
One night only
We only have 'til dawn
That night was the only night that Soubi had ever told Kio that he loved him. Oh sure, Kio knew that Soubi cared about him, but he longed to hear those three words on the man's tongue, aimed at him instead of some kid.
Kio had known, somewhere in his subconscious, that in the morning Soubi would be the same as always: aloof and uncaring.
In the morning this feeling will be gone
It has no chance going on
The next morning, as Kio had known he would, Soubi had gotten up and left for school as usual. Kio was left alone without so much as a "see you later". Not that he'd been expecting anything romantic, but…well…maybe he had. Something like, "I'll be counting the hours until I see you again."
Kio laughed softly. That would never exit Soubi's mouth.
"Kio?" Soubi was home. Kio turned over to face the wall.
"Kio, are you home?"
"Yeah." Kio pulled the pillow over his head, not wanting to face Soubi tonight.
"Are you okay?" Soubi pulled the pillow off, nearly lifting Kio off the bed as he clung to it. Kio met his eyes, feeling very disgruntled.
"I'm fine!"
"I'm sorry I stayed out so late. I had to finish my project."
"Oh, what, no Ritsuka visits?"
"Well, I stopped by to say goodnight, but…"
"IT'S ALWAYS HIM!" Kio turned over again, not wanting Soubi to see his tears.
"Kio…"
"You always choose him over me!"
"Kio, that's not fair. I live with you; I see you all the time."
"Soubi, you're never here, damnit! You don't see me all the time because you're NEVER HERE! What the hell do you two do at his house?"
"Not what you're thinking."
"Well, la-de-da! So you don't screw! So what? You don't screw me either and I'm the one who's in love with you!" Kio's tears spilled over as Soubi turned to go.
"That was once. I…"
"Don't have time. Of course. Just…go, then. I don't care." Kio turned over again, hearing Soubi leave the room.
Something so right has got no chance to live…
Why couldn't Soubi see? Or if he could, why couldn't he care? Kio had told him a million times that he loved him, but Soubi always just…left. Kio thought he had that figured out: on one hand, Soubi didn't want to hurt him with rejection. But on the other, he didn't love Kio back. So he just ran away from it all.
"Soubi…" Kio sobbed. He didn't even know why he was crying. He had thought he was used to this.
"All I want is for you to love me…"
So forget about chances
This one night I will give…
He fell asleep. The next thing he knew was someone undressing him.
"Whassa goin' on?" he murmured, waking up slowly.
"You fell asleep in your clothes. I thought I'd put your pajamas on you." Soubi's warm hands were touching him again after so long…Kio sat up and pushed the man he loved away.
"I can do it myself."
"I know. But you were asleep." Soubi's eyes were full of affection, and Kio couldn't stand to look at him. He didn't want affection; he wanted love…
"Kio?" Soubi's hand was wiping his tears away. Kio grabbed the hand and kissed it, over and over.
"Please love me…" he murmured against it. Soubi only watched him, his eyes unreadable.
"Kio…"
"Please. Like you did before."
"Kio, sex isn't love." Soubi sat on the bed and pulled Kio into his lap, resting his chin on the blond head.
"It's all the love I'll ever get from you."
"That's not true. I love you." Finally, the words Kio had been longing to hear…but not the right context.
"Not like I want you to. I feel like…like you want me to love you, but you refuse to love me. Like you just want to say you have someone who loves you."
"You mean to brag about?"
"…yes." Kio buried his face in Soubi's chest. He felt Soubi stroking his hair softly.
"That's not what I want," Soubi said gently.
"What do you want?"
"I don't know."
They stayed like that for a long time.
One night only
One night only
That's all you've got to spare
"Kio, it's late. Go to bed."
"Not without you," Kio said, a little playfully. Soubi smiled.
"One time. Okay?"
One night only
Let's not pretend to care
Kio stared into Soubi's eyes. What he saw there, finally readable, was love. Maybe not the kind he'd been dreaming about…well, maybe it was. Kio couldn't really tell.
"Really?"
One night only
One night only
There's nothing more to say
"I thought I could make the time."
"Soubi…"
"I love you, Kio. I really, honestly do. I was ordered to love Ritsuka, and I do even beyond orders, but Kio, you're special to me. I don't ever want to hurt you, and…well..."
"Well what?"
"One day I'll be gone. And you'll be alone."
"Happens to the best of us." Kio smiled and ran his fingers through Soubi's long hair.
"Kio, are you totally sure?"
"Soubi, I'll love you forever. No matter what."
"Making the transition from friends to lovers is a big…"
Kio kissed him, pushing him down onto the bed. His taste invaded Kio's senses, driving him almost mad with passion. When he pulled away, his eyes were a little glazed.
"Soubi, shut up and love me."
One night only
Words get in the way…
