so many names.

when i was little, i thought i only had one name. my own. never did i think people could call me so many things. as i grew, i got more acustomed to it; i didnt cry, i rarly looked up for fear of meeting some ones eyes, eventually fighting back. by the time i was 7 people stopped fighting me because id always win, i wasnt strong, just smart. i noticed things around me with hardly a glance and i could tell other people's center of gravity and knock them off of it. one hit it usually all it took. but it didnt stop them from doing it from afar.

no friends.

i never really had any friends, maby a person here or there whod talk to me when they saw me alone in the corner of a class room, but soon they'd leave. the fear id learned made me cautious and unaprochable, i had a friend once, a secret friend, i start out just looking at his shoes but the more he talked to me the more comferatable i got. eventualy i got to his mouth, his lips, i always remembered them. probably because i never got to see above that.

he found a group of friends and left me for them. that was it; no good by, no warning, just the eminating hate that surrounded him after they got to him. every one eminated that horrid aura around me. i was forever alone, a solitary leaf floating in a pool of mean names and ice cold glares.

i still dont know what i did to make every one hate me so much.

when i was 16 i ran away. nothing changed, people still called me names in my new school and i still couldnt look up. id grown so acustomed to having my chin on my chest that when i lifted it up to see a teacher or the board they were wrighting on, it felt heavy. rarly did i look up at a mirror, i hated what i saw. every curly lock of copper that framed my pail white complection and especialy my eyes. my mother told me that i had the most beautiful eyes shed ever seen, but all i saw was a hallow empty cave that went on forever. the only thing filling them was sorrow dripping from the celing and creating pools at the bottom.

*SHATTER* *drip drip drip*

yet another broken mirror. atleast i wouldnt have to see those caverns of self pitty and loathing any more. i washed my hand off in the sink, or let the water run over it atleast. i plucked a silver shard out of my knuckle. there were so many scars on my hands and arms from protecting my self as a child... now more of my own on the inside.

'maby if i hurt the out side, ill kill whats on the inside' i remembered thinking once. it hadnt worked but i still tried. i took a piece of mirror from where it was just barley holding onto its frame and held it over my wrist over the sink. i pressed down, a bubble of blood started to form around the edge and fell as i dragged the reflective glass across to the other side. i made sure to keep the reflective side facing away from myself. i made 3 more identical lines before i started to wrap my arm back up. i looked over at the clock, 7 o' clock... i had to get ready for training, i went into my room and flicked on the dim light. i didnt have windows. didnt like them... not that i didnt like nature,i loved it really, i just didnt want to see people.

i went to my closet and pulled out a tight black t-shirt with a bleeding heard on the chest and black skinnies with big red stitches randomly sewn threw out. i serched around for my black leather sandles, i could never find them when i needed them but they were always in my way when i didnt. i found them stuffed behind my bed and my fingerless gloves lost in my pillows, they went most of the way up my arms so it was almost like wearing a long sleved shirt.

i flash stepped to the Sunagakaru Training grounds, it was the closest place with trees so we could practice hiding tactics. i felt my team mates auras, they were already irritated with me, i was a few minutes late.

"well look who finaly desided to show up!" Daiki shouted as i appeared, arms crossed over my bleeding heart and bangs covering most of my face. at first people, teachers especialy yelled at me about it, but i proved that i could still beat any one with out moving it out of my eyes. i fought better with it like that really, i felt like it was hiding me from my enemy. once a group of kids pinned me down and butchered my hair, i felt like theyd stripped me naked and was so scared i barley got away. i hadnt left my house for months after that.

"sorry" i whispered, i could feel my teacher watching me walk up to Daiki and Yuuki. i stayed out of the 'circle' though, i wasnt a part of it any way. Michiru-Sensei shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose,

"come on you guys... the Kaze'kage is going to evaluate you all tomarrow, you need to be ready." Daiki and Yuuki took their battle stances, i just turned my iPod and let it play on shuffle, 40oz came on and got me into the mood. a smirk plastered my face and my body slumped forward, arms dangling and my head tilted to the side, both of the boys catapolted themselvs torwards me, i grabbed Yuuki's ankle and Daiki's fist and spun them around and then threw them in opposite directions. they both landed on their feet and charged torwards me again Daikitried boxing me in with earth wall but all i had to do was round hous kick the wall to let myself out and caught Yuuki's face and started squeezing, i heard his screams over my blairing music.

"STOP SCREAMING!" i scqueezed tighter. Hit The Floor came on and the smirk turned into a scowl, i threw the albino boy into a tree and looked around for Daiki's aura, hed hiden himself but it wasnt hard to find him. i lept into the trees and quickly found him, i herded him back into the clearing.

"dont let her herd you!" Michiru-sensei called out as i strated spin kicking. i wasnt one for gen or ninjutsu, i liked hand to hand and depending on what song was playing, i was damn good at it. although, when americas swuit hearts came on, my eyes widedend and i got sloppy, "Ami, what they hell are you doing?" i was dodging kunai swiped left and right is what i was doing. what a stupid question to ask. i pulled out a kunai to perry Daiki, noticing Yuuki getting up, his face bloddied from a broken nose and a busted lip and tripped over my own foot. i blocked a hard stab from Daiki and quickly changed the song, it didnt matter what it changed to, i just needed to change it.

a crocked smile calmly placed itself on my face as the beat to count the bodies like sheep to the war drums played, i pushed Daiki's kunai away and stood there waiting for their attacks, Yuuki and Daiki waited for a while, Yuuki being the less impatient of the two charged me like an idiot, i just flash stepped behind him and chocked the back of his neck making him fall to the ground infront of me. slowly, i turned my head to Daiki, the same calm almost evil smile on my face,

"Dai-kun... dont you wanna play too?"

"i think thats enough." a gravily voice said from the bushes. i hadnt even noticed his aurauntill now, it was alot like mine actually. Michiru-sensei gave the signal for us to stop fighting and i tok my ear buds out, causing my face to turn into an emotionless mask. the Kaze`kage stepped out with his arms crossed over his chest and a stern, solem face. i was looking at his face... it took a moment to realise that i was and then i felt my face get hot and i quickly looked down at my feet, one hand gripped my elbow unknowingly.

"kaze`kage-sama" Daiki and i said in unison. for some reason i glanced up to see the red-head looking at me.

"Michiru-san, take this boy to the infermary," Michiru nodded and did as he was told, "you there," he was looking at me so i assume he was talking to me, "can you use ninjutsu?"

i looked over at Daiki, who was a little stunned at the situation and then back at my feet, "yes..."

"and genjutsu?"
"yes."

"you didnt use a single one..." it seemed like a mixture of a statment and a question, i wasnt sure what to say,

"i... like taijutsu."

"i saw... and you change your style quite often." i nodded at his statment. i could feel my heart beating out of my chest. conversations wernt my strong point. a male and female appeared behind the kaze`kage,

"Gaara-san! weve been looking every where for you!" the girl exclaimed

"i thought you were checking out the new recruits tomarrow?" the boy added, Gaara didnt turn to look at them,

"i know, but i needed to get out and i wanted to see how they would normaly fight, not just in the presance of the kaze`kage... this girl, i think shes the one i want." he started walking away after that. the girl looked uneasy as she rubbed the back of her neck,

"ill never understand him.."

i looked overat Daiki, he was covered in sweat, probably from nervousness, then the male was holding my arm. instinctivly i punched him and immidiatly started appologising, it was just a reflex. he started laughing,

"dont worry about it, any way, we need to brief you so come on. Temari-san, can you take that boy home?" the girl looked aprihensive at him and then nodded,

"alright, but dont do any thing you'll regret Kankuro-kun." were these guys related? they kind of seemed like it. i fallaowed the black clad boy back to the village, he looked at me alot, it wierded me out. once we were back in the village, he took me to the building where the Kaze`kage did his work and into a room with seats surrounding a table. a few windows and a book shelf. it was pretty boring.

"so, youre the person Gaara-san's chosen to protect him while he goes to the Americas." i was only looking at his feet but it sounded like he was smiling, i nodded and he continued, "hes on an important mission and your job is to protect him. you will both be under cover as normal civilians so you will both have to fallow american rules. like you cant kill people or carry weapons or wear certain things in certain places."i fidgeted for a moment before talking quitly,

"you guys are related right?"

"hm? ... well... yeah. why?"

"well, i was just wondering why he wouldnt choose you guys over a stranger is all..."

he smiled at me, it kind of reminded me of this blonde kid who went to class with me at one of my old schools, "well, because we have to run things here, lets just leave it at that, ok?"

i nodded and dropped the question, "heh... so this America, seems real strict." my attempt at small talk i guess.
"they have alot of technical stuff there and alot more violance and stuff, it really just dependson how you look at it. they all seem to like their 'government'..." he started to leave but stopped at the door, "oh, and as part of youre cover, you'll be going to school."
my eyes grew 10fold, that was not somthing i wanted to hear. i cursed my life in my head and started torwards my house to pack my clothes.

*SLAM*

i just short of broke the door to my closet as i kicked it closed due to all the clothes in my arms.

"i cant belive i have to go to school, AGAIN!" i whisper screamed to myself, "i mean come on, im supposed to be a ninja for gods sake!"

"you dont need those..." a recently aquanted voice said from my door, i looked over to see the Kaze`kage in my door way in simaler clothes to mine, a black under armor shirt and black saggy jeans with a chain on hit belt loops. i gave him a questioning look threw my bangs, "we'll buy new clothes and every thing else we need when we get there, we have an apartment already seet up and were both already enrolled in high school as seniors." he handed me a paper on it, it had the name of the school, adrress to the apartment, and the name of our new school. i nodded to him and we both left.

luckily we lived close to the water, i found out we would have to walk all the way to this D.C. place which was also close to the water to my understanding.

i was a bit of a run to be honest, and quite quiet too, luckily i had my iPod with me so i was listening to it the whole way over.

i was glad to get to the apartment, there were so many people here and all of them were rude and their auras were horrible. i missed home already, but it was the Kaze`kage who gave me the mission himself, so it wasnt like i could refuse it. i went into the smaller of the two rooms (i really just like smal spaces) and plopped down on the bed.

"we'll go shopping tomarrow and school starts on Monday, your schedual is in the drawr there," he pointed to the bed stand from the door way, "you can do what ever you want to the room, theres a credit card in the drawr as well." i didnt move, i just wanted to go to sleep.

i didnt wake up untill the next day when Gaara was shaking me, "c'mon, we have to get clothes." i nodded and went to the bathroom to do my morning rutine... well, it was an afternoon rutine right now.

id seen a bunch of girls with long bangs only cover one side of their face, so first i went to a salon to get my hair done like thiers. it wasnt bad but i was a bit aprehensive because my eyes were showing now and there was alot of black in my curls, next we went into a 'Hott Topics' store and it was surprisingly to my taste. we grabbed some stuff and went to pay for it to a guy with really greasy looking hair and what looked like balls under the skin of his forhead, he had pircings all over his face.

"there you go, thanks for shopping." he said, Gaara nodded and took his stuff, i grabbed mine took a step and then stopped again,

"excuse me," i had to talk over the music that was playing, "um, where did you get your piercings done?"

"i did them, i can give you one if you want?" i ended up getting one on my lower lip before we left.

-monday-

id heard that if we had been signed up into a private school it cost money every month and we had to wear a suit that they chose for us, but luckily Gaara had sided against it and we were in a private school as 'exchange students', i walked into the front room in a form fitting black t-shirt with 3 rips on each of my sides, black fingerless gloves to cover up my cuts, a layered black lace skirt and black army boots. id also painted my nales black and put on alot of eye liner and mascara. i was fidgeting with the sewn rims where the fabric ended at the base of my fingers, it was somthing i did when people stared at me.

Gaara was on the couch in black and red 'UFO' pants and a hoodie with a red F on the fron with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

"Kaze`kage? ... are we going?" he picked up his book bag and started torwards the door with me fallowing suit,

"dont call me that here. its just Gaara." i nodded as i walked a few steps behind him. i gripped the straps of my book bag and looked just ahead of my feet so i didnt trip, i noticed Gaara had on really simaler boots to mine, his pants skimmed the ground but i got glimpses while he .walked. 'why did he get clothes that might trip him?' i found myself thinking. before i knew it we were at the school, this whole place was nothing like home. i looked at my schedual and memorised the classes id been signed up for. Gaara and i both had gym class and weight trainning togeather, i assumed that was to keep our sences about us. they were my easiest classes, history was my hardest, it was all about America... alot of war, horrid use of econimy, and killing, kind of like where i was from, but the reasons for doing such didnt seem right to me. i didnt agree with it and i got kicked out alot. atleast we didnt waste money like these people do. a little less than a month had passed and i still had no idea what Gaara's 'mission' was about. we didnt talk much, but i dont think we needed to, we were both alright with silance.

Gaara was rummaging around in his room, thats how i knew it was time to get ready for school every morning. his head popped around the corner, "Ami-chan, do you know where my Metalica shirt is?" he was always looking for somthing.

"check under your bed" i said from under my pillow,

"already did."

"dirty clothes?"

"yeah..."

"then its in your bottom drawr... the one on the left."

"thanks." and with that i got up and went to look for my own out fit. i got black fishnets and black shoorts with a long sleved grey see-through-ish shirt that had black zebra stripes on it. when i went to get my gloves i kept by the door, they wernt there. i checked behind the table that was there and they wernt there either.

i went out into the kitchen to see Gaara eating pop-tarts at the table, with my gloves next to his plate,

"Gaara, give them back, you have your own." i wasnt happy that hed taken them. not in the least, id forgotten myself and was steadily glaring at the leader of my village.

"i know... i just wanted to see if i was right. and i was." he was probably referring to the 3 almost new scabs on the inside of my arm.

"what about them?"

he tossed me my gloves, "im curious why you do that."

i caught them and slipped them on, "because... it feels better." i wasnt glaring any more, just looking at the ground.

"does it?" he took a knife and went to pirce his skin, i jumped torwards him but his sand protected him from the blade. d forgotten he had his own protection.

why did he need me here?

he looked up at me, "i wouldnt know." he grabbed his book bag and went out the door. i didnt talk to him for almost a week after that. he found his own things in the morning and avoided eye contact with me at gym. my scabs had turned into fresh scars and id suplied new friends for them multiple times untill one day... he just spoke.

"want help?"

i looked up from my history book and saw him infront of me. i didnt get it at first then i realised he ment my home work, i smiled at him sheepishly, but now i wasnt scared to look at him, or atleast not all the time. he sat next to me and looked over at my work and smirked,

"wow, you really do need help." he flipped the page and started reading it aloud. he helped me find the answers and didnt yell at me when i got mad at what the book said. they way they glorified killing other people here was just wrong. but i did get my gradesup thanks to Gaara's help. i took a photography class as well, my room was covered with pictures of the town and the school, but mostly of Gaara. not alot of people had wanted to be friends with us, they all walked talked and acted complietly different than us so i didnt mind much, the name calling didnt bother me much either. the people here were more animal than human to me. i had started to get used to this life, beginning to grow accustumed to it, but it was cut short when i woke up to an empty room. all of my pictures and clothes were gone, i went out to the living room to see Gaara in a fishnet top and black jogging pants with his ninja sandles on.

"iv had people get information for me sence we've been here... now i have enough and our mission can realy begin." he was compietly buisness like now, his hold deminor was like when we first met, not like it had been. i was a bit disappointed but i went to my room to get ready. i pinned my hair back and found the only out fit that was left here for me. i pocketed my gloves and went back out to Gaara. he looked at my scared arms and then we both flash stepped out side, i fallowed him untill we got to the white house. i had an idea of what we were going to do and i liked it. we were out side of the black fence that febaly surrounded the building. "you better find some good songs on that ipod of yours. we might really be in for a fight, i heard that the guards to this leader are difficult to get by and have more skill in what they do than any one else... and they use guns." i nodded and looked for Hollywood Undead songs and plugged my head phones in. i smirked at Gaara and we flash stepped in, we snapped the necks of the first wave of guards, they were so weak i wondered if the informant Gaara had was on our side or not.

it seemed entirly to easy, like it was a trap or somthing. i thought about mentioning it, but then remembered who i was with, Gaara was precautious enough to have already thought of that. i stopped short when a bullet wized past my head, knocking my hood back. Gaara engulfed the man in the black suit in sand and crushed him.

"dont loose your focus." he said in his gravily voice, i nodded and skipped songs around, i found Over My Head (Better Off Dead) and getting to the president was a sinch. i wondered why Gaara was the one whoneeded to take this old guy out, maby it was a leader to leader thing. but this man was cowering like a frightened puppy, it was pathetic.

"some leader he is... hiding like this." there were only 5 men in the round room with him, all extreamly stern looking. like emotionless robots. i took my head phones out, my skirk still in place for a change. "Gaa-san, do you want me to take these guys out while you get their leader?"

"no." i looked at him a bit confused but then they started firing at us and we dodged them, "i want you to take him you, i'll get them." it shocked me but i did what i was told. i jumped up and ran on top of the men's heads and landed on the wooden desk infront of the president of the united states. i looked back at Gaara to see that he had all of the men in sand coffins and then a sharp pain hit my thigh, i yelped in surprise and looked to see a letter opener plunged deep in my leg. i laughed a bit, it wascomplietly carless of me to have looked back. by now the man hada gun pointed at me,

"w-what do you want!"

"do it Ami-chan." Gaara said from behind me.

i skirked at the man and pulled the metal out of my leg, "only to kill you." he pulled the trigger but i was to fast, i stabbed him in the throughtand broke the letter opener to that the remaining part was stuck inside of him. i sat on the table facing Gaara, "was that really it?"

"... we over estimated this country... but they need the help any way it seems. thier leaders have all been horrible so far, maby theyll change after this. maby not." i started to bandage my wound with a piece of suit i ripped from one of the dead men in front of me, "and it was easy because this was a sincronised attack... other village leaders have attacked and killed the other levels of leader ship that runs this country as well."

i pilled the ties out of my hair, attempting to cover my eyes,but my new hair doprevented it, further enhancing my meloncoly look entensify.

"Ami-chan?" i pretended i didnt hear him. "Ami-chan, whats wrong with you?"

i looked up at him, anger over powering the sadness, " what Gaara-sama? what do you want me to tell you? that icant wait to go home where every one rejects me, where ill go from having one friend back to none? well i wont, fuck that! ill stay here and let them catch and kill me. thats what this country prides itself on, killing people who have nothing."

"... who said any of that was going to happen?" i just glared at the blood stained carpet, "i do need to go home, to take care of my village, but... youre not going home friendless." still no responce, "Ami-chan..." he went silent for a few seconds and then i felt ear buds in my ear and then music started playing. i reconised it was Bass Hunter's Angel In The Night, it made me blush a bit,

"alright..."

he pushed my bangs to the side of my face and kissed me briefly, "now come on... we need to leave." i nodded and we flash stepped for a good part of the way home