©Blood of Sephiroth (formally Paws) 2001

Beers all around!

Okay, just to keep you lot at Squaresoft happy, I don't own squat. I couldn't, unless you happen to be selling Final Fantasy for ten quid ;-) so please don't sue me Mr Nice Squaresoft person. Read on and enjoy! Ignore the odd waffle I tend to do at the beginning of my fics (weel, I don't know about you, but writing makes me hungry, and there's nothing like a quick waffle to keep you going, hmmm?)

Chapter 1: Stranger things have happened!

Sephiroth and Cloud are sitting in a bar.

'Hey Cloud! Remember that time you dressed as a woman to save Tifa?' Sephiroth said to Cloud, splashing most of his beer on the counter. Cloud buried his head in his hands, blushing.

'Yeah.' He still had nightmares about pink frills. Cloud took a swig of his beer, grinning at his worst enemy. 'Not as bad as what you wore to that fancy dress! Who was your tailor, anyway?'

Sephiroth's face frowned. 'Hey, the man did what he could. I was NOT walking out without any leather or my samurai. I think the metal chain suited the handbag perfectly. And it was for Hallowe'en, Cloud. You just went as yourself.' Sephiroth sniffed.

'Yeah, well, I'm scary enough, thank you. Your round.' Cloud reminded Sephiroth as he put his empty bottle down. Sephiroth patted his pockets and brought out a wallet, out of which the obligitory moth flew.

'Nah, I'm broke. You?' The action was repeated by Cloud. 'Ah well, let's beat it.'

Cloud nodded, then grinned. 'That's if we can walk. We've had a few.' He waved his hands in the general direction of the pile of bottles in front of them.

'Nah, I feel fine!' Sephiroth replied, laughing. He got up and was vertical for a full half a minute, grinning. Cloud watched him as he slowly toppled sideways.

'Let me rephrase that. We need a wheelbarrow.' A voice drifted up from the floor. Cloud grinned and got up slowly, leaning against the stool. He reached a hand down to Sephiroth, who grasped it in a solid death-grip.

'Ta.' He said once he was upright and stable. 'Hey, I've had an idea. You lean against me and I lean against you, and we'll get home that way.' Cloud nodded, but once they got sorted, the whole place went pitch black. Cloud and Sephiroth promptly fell over.

'Shin-ra!' Sephiroth shouted, trying to draw his Masamune while sitting down. Cloud chuckled.

'Nope. Worse. Kareoke.' Cloud said, pointing at the spotlighted stage. He staggared up again and sat on the barstool. Sephiroth did the same.

'Let's watch this. It could be funny!' Sephiroth suggested. Cloud nodded.

First, a beautiful young girl in a short skirt got up to sing, to many wolf whistles. She just smiled, while Cloud and Sephiroth sat there, mouths hanging open. THEN she started to sing.

To say she was tuneful would do her an injustice. She had the ultimate talent: she was tuneLESS. She could ruin any melody from five paces. And that includes making 'Agado do do' worse, which is an impossibility. Serious talent.

After half an hour of pure torture in which five contestants murdered what were old favorites, Cloud and Sephiroth were just getting up (or trying to) to leave when the spotlight landed on them.

'Damn!' Sephiroth swore, grinning. Cloud groaned. That meant he'd made up his mind.

'Come on! Let's have the lady with the blonde hair and the gentleman with the silver up here!' The barman said. Sephiroth groaned as Cloud's blue eyes glinted dangerously at the barman cowering behind the counter. Cloud leaned over the counter and picked the barman up in one hand.

'Never....call....me....a....girl....again. Understood?' He asked calmly, waiting until the barman had nodded furiously. 'Good. Now, let's sing, Sephiroth.'

Sephiroth breathed a sigh of relief. The last guy to call Cloud a girl was probably still in a mental institute, and that was three years ago. Word got around.

Cloud and Sephiroth supported each other up to the stage, choosing an old favorite drinking song of theirs that they could actually sing in harmony when they were pissed.

An Irish drumbeat sounded out of the speakers, followed by the introduction, then Cloud and Sephiroth started singing.

'All around my hat,

I will wear the green willow and

all around my hat,

for a twelve month and a day,

And if anyone should ask me

The reason why I'm wearing it

It's all for my true love

Who's far far away!'

Sephiroth sang alto as Cloud sang tenor, and they got through all four choruses before it was over.

Blood of Sephiroth: Hey, sorry it's so short. Now, please be responsible and review. If you don't, I won't put any more up. Oh, and flames would be used to heat up my room, as the ice-age hasn't seemed to pass here yet, surprisingly enough. So ner!!!!